A/N: my fanfics have been so sucky lately, but I swear this one will be it!
I can't guarantee, but if you ppl out there keep posting reviews, I swear
(when I say that I mean, I can't promise anything) I will keep on a-goin'.
'Ahh... Another year at Hogwarts, mmm, yes this year is going to be it. It. It. It. Itty. Itty. It. Ok, I'm getting carried away.'
"Gildypoo, do be careful, don't go off in the Forbidden Forest again this year, I keep getting threatening letters from the centaurs, so please dear, stay away from them... oh and don't turn them all purple again, I don't think they like that. They just don't understand your brilliant mind, not to mention your handsome looks" Gilderoy's mother reminded him.
'Oh, please DO mention them, as it is a fact.' Gilderoy, patted his face, and flipped out his revolving full body compact mirror. He flashed his toothy, Crest White Stripped smile (They've been around for ages in the wizarding world). His mother put her hand to her mouth in awe. Gilderoy was indeed handsome (he DEFINITLY didn't get the genes from his "frumpy" father)
'Oh, Gildy, I'm so glad you have such a good self-concept, your father never had one, can't blame him, but, mmmm, you are so nummy, I want to eat you with a fork, I mean spoon, of course"
'Oh, mummy, please, I'm a grown adult, boy, man, guy. Women will just be eating me with spoon forever and ever, even if I lose my memory and end up in the hospital (A/N hehehehehehe)
Gilderoy fwoofed his bouncy golden (not artificially colored) locks once again, and checked for unsightly blemishes. Satisfying, as always.
'Buh bye mummsy' he leaned over next to her cheek. 'Mwah, Mwah" He said doing that girly kissy thing, not surprisingly it had become a habit.
"Oh, do owl as often as you can, and in vivid detail remind me of all the girls who coming screaming after you"
'Oh, mum!" He said flicking his hand daintily. He aggressively tossed his case and trolley at a lowly little gray house elf, you could faintly hear a quiet shriek until it was squished to oblivion and Gilderoy bounced away, one foot in front of the other, it was very good for posture (think, Elle Woods).
"Hey! Queerderoy! How's the Rainbow Club? A voice yelled at him, followed by hoots of laughter. Gilderoy turned on his heel to face the notorious troublemakers, the Marauders, they were called, he didn't let them bug him, and they were lowly 5th years anyway. Gilderoy smiled, he couldn't bring him self to a frown, they caused wrinkles in later life.
'Oh it's going great, I'll make sure to notify them saying we have 4 new members' Gilderoy mouthed back gesturing to James Potter and his posse. James' smile drooped; he probably wasn't used to being put down so abruptly, unless it was Lily Evans. Sirius chuckled until he realized that that meant him too. Remus decided to be nice to the apple of his friend's disapproval.
"I see you got prefect too" He said motioning to the gleaming badge on Gilderoy's perfectly chiseled chest. Gilderoy smiled even brighter and beamed down at it.
"Ooo Yes! I put a Polishing Potion on it, so that it'll never go dull! I mean how uber great is that?" Gilderoy beamed even brighter. James and Sirius stifled a laugh.
"Hmm, I don't see a sign of recognition on your robes, what are you?" Gilderoy asked, and cocked his head slightly.
"Straight!" James said and they all made their way to the train laughing. Remus managed a sympathetic smile and followed his chums.
'Why does every one think I'm gay!? I am not; I just want to connect with the dozens of girls that [will one day] chase after me. Years from now, I will be the most famous wizard ever!" (Notice how Harry is later)
Gilderoy turned on his heel and made his way to the massive Hogwarts Express.
'Thank goodness gracious that I'm a prefect, otherwise I wouldn't have found a place to sit.' Gilderoy smiled to his self (as always) as he sat down in the exclusive Prefect Cabin, along with the other Hufflepuff prefect, Darwin Lithosphere, who had an extremely annoying, and excruciatingly gross habit of picking his nose. Thankfully Remus was in the there with him, so he wouldn't have to stare at Darwin's exceptionally yellow bogies. But EVEN BETTER, Lily Evans was a prefect too, not only was she extremely beautiful but AVAILIBLE! Gilderoy so wished to ask her to go to Hogsmeade, but he was probably too suave for her liking. But being as he Gilderoy put it "wonderfully forward", he not-so-subtly schoochied his arse a tad closer to her.
"Oh Lily, How was outer space?" He said, smirking his boyish smile. Lily furrowed her eyebrows.
"Pfft, It was GREAT, just perfect *sarcasm for all you stupid gits* Why?"
"Because your ass is out of this world" Gilderoy laughed at his own joke, Darwin even scowled at him, and do you know how far you've fallen when a Lithosphere thinks you're a nerd? Farther then Hell.
"GILDEROY LOCKHART! That is completely out of line! I wouldn't even think of you any more than the annoying, Hufflepuff who tried to pick me up before we even got to school! For all I care you could fall off the face of this Earth!" Lily boomed, she had never been so insulted, how could anyone think she was that EASY!? Well... Maybe James Potter but that was an entirely different problem.
Remus looked up from his Daily Prophet, though he tried not to smile, he couldn't help but notice a resemblance in the nature of Gilderoy and James. I mean sure they were completely different. For one, James messed up his hair to look cool and Gilderoy would probably never dream of messing up his luscious locks. Though, both equally handsome...in their own kind if way, Gilderoy seemed to think only and himself and his imaginary friend, Victoria. Remus had caught him on many occasions talking to "Victoria" in the Great Hall at meals. Though perhaps he was just trying to muster up the courage to talk to Victoria Ferdophocus, a very pretty, but dizzy Ravenclaw.
Gilderoy laughed heartily, women, such good senses of humor. He respectively bowed his head and furthered him self from her, but just a li'le (AN: Mr[s]. Tolly language, lol neens).
The train ride seemed like eternity, but as blissful as possible, Gilderoy found him self staring at Lily as often as he could, but of course he was blind to how uncomfortable Lily was by his staring. Also, he put some more time in to talking to "Victoria" or Vicky as he calls her. He was desperate for advice on girls, Lily Evans was just a hard egg to crack but he would be the incubator, and she would just pop out in no time, he was sure. She had to, I mean she despised James "Retardonday"(as Gildy calls him) Potter, and he would be the barrier. Vicky had helped him plan it all out. Lily would get so so annoyed with James that she would have to run to somebody, of course her first instinct would be to run to her best friend and confidante, Ruth Gravesbury, but of course it would be hard to understand a male with out talking to one, so she would run to the next best thing, Remus, not only was her friend, but James' as well. But, there would be one setback, being completely loyal he would never give personal information and try to keep his best friend away Lily, as he knows how much James cares about her, and that's where me, Gilderoy Lockhart comes in, I will be come her trusted "friend" and the only person to connect with an arrogant person is an arrogan- well, another guy who can relate. Yes, this would work out perfectly. Gilderoy smiled to himself, oblivious to the fact that he looked like a complete idiot. He sat back in satisfaction as the train chug-a-chugged its way down into the valley, exposing the brilliant, massive, most wonderful place in the whole world, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
A/N: OOOO, I hope you liked this chapter, of course there will be more to come, I need some ideas though, I'm desperately trying to make Gilderoy Lockhart look like as much as an idiot as possible, but still having him make SOME sense if you know what I mean. PEASE R&R
'Ahh... Another year at Hogwarts, mmm, yes this year is going to be it. It. It. It. Itty. Itty. It. Ok, I'm getting carried away.'
"Gildypoo, do be careful, don't go off in the Forbidden Forest again this year, I keep getting threatening letters from the centaurs, so please dear, stay away from them... oh and don't turn them all purple again, I don't think they like that. They just don't understand your brilliant mind, not to mention your handsome looks" Gilderoy's mother reminded him.
'Oh, please DO mention them, as it is a fact.' Gilderoy, patted his face, and flipped out his revolving full body compact mirror. He flashed his toothy, Crest White Stripped smile (They've been around for ages in the wizarding world). His mother put her hand to her mouth in awe. Gilderoy was indeed handsome (he DEFINITLY didn't get the genes from his "frumpy" father)
'Oh, Gildy, I'm so glad you have such a good self-concept, your father never had one, can't blame him, but, mmmm, you are so nummy, I want to eat you with a fork, I mean spoon, of course"
'Oh, mummy, please, I'm a grown adult, boy, man, guy. Women will just be eating me with spoon forever and ever, even if I lose my memory and end up in the hospital (A/N hehehehehehe)
Gilderoy fwoofed his bouncy golden (not artificially colored) locks once again, and checked for unsightly blemishes. Satisfying, as always.
'Buh bye mummsy' he leaned over next to her cheek. 'Mwah, Mwah" He said doing that girly kissy thing, not surprisingly it had become a habit.
"Oh, do owl as often as you can, and in vivid detail remind me of all the girls who coming screaming after you"
'Oh, mum!" He said flicking his hand daintily. He aggressively tossed his case and trolley at a lowly little gray house elf, you could faintly hear a quiet shriek until it was squished to oblivion and Gilderoy bounced away, one foot in front of the other, it was very good for posture (think, Elle Woods).
"Hey! Queerderoy! How's the Rainbow Club? A voice yelled at him, followed by hoots of laughter. Gilderoy turned on his heel to face the notorious troublemakers, the Marauders, they were called, he didn't let them bug him, and they were lowly 5th years anyway. Gilderoy smiled, he couldn't bring him self to a frown, they caused wrinkles in later life.
'Oh it's going great, I'll make sure to notify them saying we have 4 new members' Gilderoy mouthed back gesturing to James Potter and his posse. James' smile drooped; he probably wasn't used to being put down so abruptly, unless it was Lily Evans. Sirius chuckled until he realized that that meant him too. Remus decided to be nice to the apple of his friend's disapproval.
"I see you got prefect too" He said motioning to the gleaming badge on Gilderoy's perfectly chiseled chest. Gilderoy smiled even brighter and beamed down at it.
"Ooo Yes! I put a Polishing Potion on it, so that it'll never go dull! I mean how uber great is that?" Gilderoy beamed even brighter. James and Sirius stifled a laugh.
"Hmm, I don't see a sign of recognition on your robes, what are you?" Gilderoy asked, and cocked his head slightly.
"Straight!" James said and they all made their way to the train laughing. Remus managed a sympathetic smile and followed his chums.
'Why does every one think I'm gay!? I am not; I just want to connect with the dozens of girls that [will one day] chase after me. Years from now, I will be the most famous wizard ever!" (Notice how Harry is later)
Gilderoy turned on his heel and made his way to the massive Hogwarts Express.
'Thank goodness gracious that I'm a prefect, otherwise I wouldn't have found a place to sit.' Gilderoy smiled to his self (as always) as he sat down in the exclusive Prefect Cabin, along with the other Hufflepuff prefect, Darwin Lithosphere, who had an extremely annoying, and excruciatingly gross habit of picking his nose. Thankfully Remus was in the there with him, so he wouldn't have to stare at Darwin's exceptionally yellow bogies. But EVEN BETTER, Lily Evans was a prefect too, not only was she extremely beautiful but AVAILIBLE! Gilderoy so wished to ask her to go to Hogsmeade, but he was probably too suave for her liking. But being as he Gilderoy put it "wonderfully forward", he not-so-subtly schoochied his arse a tad closer to her.
"Oh Lily, How was outer space?" He said, smirking his boyish smile. Lily furrowed her eyebrows.
"Pfft, It was GREAT, just perfect *sarcasm for all you stupid gits* Why?"
"Because your ass is out of this world" Gilderoy laughed at his own joke, Darwin even scowled at him, and do you know how far you've fallen when a Lithosphere thinks you're a nerd? Farther then Hell.
"GILDEROY LOCKHART! That is completely out of line! I wouldn't even think of you any more than the annoying, Hufflepuff who tried to pick me up before we even got to school! For all I care you could fall off the face of this Earth!" Lily boomed, she had never been so insulted, how could anyone think she was that EASY!? Well... Maybe James Potter but that was an entirely different problem.
Remus looked up from his Daily Prophet, though he tried not to smile, he couldn't help but notice a resemblance in the nature of Gilderoy and James. I mean sure they were completely different. For one, James messed up his hair to look cool and Gilderoy would probably never dream of messing up his luscious locks. Though, both equally handsome...in their own kind if way, Gilderoy seemed to think only and himself and his imaginary friend, Victoria. Remus had caught him on many occasions talking to "Victoria" in the Great Hall at meals. Though perhaps he was just trying to muster up the courage to talk to Victoria Ferdophocus, a very pretty, but dizzy Ravenclaw.
Gilderoy laughed heartily, women, such good senses of humor. He respectively bowed his head and furthered him self from her, but just a li'le (AN: Mr[s]. Tolly language, lol neens).
The train ride seemed like eternity, but as blissful as possible, Gilderoy found him self staring at Lily as often as he could, but of course he was blind to how uncomfortable Lily was by his staring. Also, he put some more time in to talking to "Victoria" or Vicky as he calls her. He was desperate for advice on girls, Lily Evans was just a hard egg to crack but he would be the incubator, and she would just pop out in no time, he was sure. She had to, I mean she despised James "Retardonday"(as Gildy calls him) Potter, and he would be the barrier. Vicky had helped him plan it all out. Lily would get so so annoyed with James that she would have to run to somebody, of course her first instinct would be to run to her best friend and confidante, Ruth Gravesbury, but of course it would be hard to understand a male with out talking to one, so she would run to the next best thing, Remus, not only was her friend, but James' as well. But, there would be one setback, being completely loyal he would never give personal information and try to keep his best friend away Lily, as he knows how much James cares about her, and that's where me, Gilderoy Lockhart comes in, I will be come her trusted "friend" and the only person to connect with an arrogant person is an arrogan- well, another guy who can relate. Yes, this would work out perfectly. Gilderoy smiled to himself, oblivious to the fact that he looked like a complete idiot. He sat back in satisfaction as the train chug-a-chugged its way down into the valley, exposing the brilliant, massive, most wonderful place in the whole world, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
A/N: OOOO, I hope you liked this chapter, of course there will be more to come, I need some ideas though, I'm desperately trying to make Gilderoy Lockhart look like as much as an idiot as possible, but still having him make SOME sense if you know what I mean. PEASE R&R