Chapter 3

DISCLAMER- All characters are from Harry Potter and are sadly not my own. But Kyle and Mona are mine. There is also a line taken from Legally Blonde, I love that line.

Yaaaawn Gilderoy flickered open his eyes, but instead of seeing a stone ceiling, he saw 8 eyes staring down at him.

"AAAAAH!!" Gilderoy leaped out of bed. "What are you guys trying to do, make my heart stop beating or something!?"

"Nooo" said his friend, Jared sheepishly. "We wanted to check if you were still alive." Gilderoy furrowed his eyebrows.

"Of course, I'm alive, didn't you see my gorgeous chest moving up and down, up and down, up and down, up and dow-."

"Ok, Ok, Ok, we get it" Kyle exclaimed irritated. "It's just—what's been up with you? You usually have plenty to talk about, and now, you're just… whoosh. It's Lily Evan's isn't it?"

"No, of course not… well maybe I've been thinking about her a little." Gilderoy said, anticipating an earthquake. Kyle threw up his hands.

"Cheese and rice, Gild! We've been here for not even 24 hours and you're already obsessed with a girl." He said harshly. It wasn't like Kyle to be this insensitive.

"It's not my fault that you are annoyed with me! The problem isn't mine, it's yours!" Gilderoy shouted. He grabbed his uniform and robes and stormed out of the room.

Gilderoy quickly dressed in the common room before anyone came down from the dormitories. He perfected his hair and slumped down into a black and yellow striped chair.

"Perfect, just perfect, I've just lost one of my best friends, and even worse, I'm sitting here talking to my self alone in a color-clashing room. Could this day get any worse than it already has?"

Gilderoy decided not to wait for any of his friends; Mona was probably just as pissed as Kyle. He swiftly walked to the Great Hall for a nutritious breakfast of pumpkin juice and chocolate croissants. His morning couldn't possibly have gotten any worse, until…

"Hey Queerie!" came that all too familiar voice of none other than James Potter. Gilderoy sighed in exasperation. Not now! He thought. He slowly turned around, extremely agitated.

"Potter." Gilderoy acknowledged briefly with the nod of the head.

"So Gilderoy, uhh, I've seen how you look at my girl" James said seriously. Gilderoy sighed again. Could this guy be more big-headed….. Probably.

"First of all, yes I like her, along with the rest of the male student body, Second, she's not yours in the first place, I'm not sure if you can tell, but completely despises you… oh right, your just too much of conceited pompous brain to notice." Gilderoy smirked and pushed pass James, nearly knocking him off his feet.

Unbeknownst to Gilderoy, Sirius Black had been listening to James and Gilderoy the whole time. He stopped Gilderoy in mid step.

"No one's ever talks to James that way, 'cept for Evans…he's probably still scratching his head." Sirius said, subconsciously amused.

"Yeah, it must be a good vacation for his balls." Gilderoy responded sweetly and calmly walked down the stone steps, leaving Sirius dumfounded.

Upon entering the Great Hall, he felt a lot better, he has stood up against the Marauders, and now he was going to sit down and drink pumpkin juice, his favorite drink, next to butter beer. He sat down in the middle of the table as usual and grabbed two croissants, poured himself more than his share of pumpkin juice and loaded up on strawberries and peaches. He was just about to dig in when, Mona crept up behind him.

"Gilderoy…" She said awkwardly shifting her feet. Gilderoy glared at her.

"You mad too?!" He demanded. "'Cause if you are, I really don't give a poop." He huffed and played around with his peaches. It wasn't like Gilderoy to be this harsh, and Mona was a real state of shock. He had never yelled at her before. Before she could compose herself, her bottom lip started to tremble and sooner than she could stop her self she was weeping quietly in her hands.

"Oh Gildy! I'm-not-mad." She cried between gasps of breath. "It's just that you've been diff'rent lately and I wanna know what's going on, Kyle wasn't what you'd call helpful."

Gilderoy sighed.

"Monie, it's not you, if that's what you're getting at. I've just been thinking about Lily Evans a little more than necessary.

"Oh…" Mona exclaimed, she looked slightly disappointed. "Well, that's good then." She strangely patted him on the back and filled up her own plate and challis.

GRYFINDOR COMMON ROOM

James sat back into a chair in a daze; no one had ever dared to speak to him that way, except Lily Evans. But most definitely not a happy go-lucky Hufflepuff, especially Gilderoy Lockhart. He drummed his fingers on the arm of the scarlet chair.

"How dare he!" James finally yelled, he needed to get it out of his system.

"How dare who?" Remus asked over a copy of the Daily Prophet.

"QUEERDEROY LOCKHART!" roared James.

"Actually, he really couldn't be queer if he likes Lily." Remus corrected him.

"Hey! Than its Bi-deroy!" Sirius exclaimed, laughing at his own joke. James, Remus and Peter just gave him blank stares.

"What? Don't you get it, he's queer but he likes girls, so he's bi, so he's Bideroy, HAHAHA….More blank stares….ok… I'm not here…" Sirius looked down into his lap.

"Aaaaa-nyway" James continued. "I just wanna strangle him!"

"I actually find that you two are alike" Remus said, not taking his eyes off the paper.

'WHAT!" James and Sirius cried in disbelief. "How? We're completely different!" Remus smirked and cleared his throat to begin his theory but James stopped him before a sound came through his mouth.

"Ok, whatever, but I'm most definitely not as much as an ass." He said defiantly. Remus shrugged. "You better do something quickly; he's pretty serious about asking Lily to Hogsmeade."

"Who's asking me to Hogsmeade?" came a female voice from behind them. The Marauders swirled around to see Lily Evans staring at them.

"Uhmm, James!" Remus exclaimed quickly. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Like every other day of the week" she retorted and swiftly walked past them and through the common room door. James glared at Remus.

"Why the hell should we not tell her about Lockhart asking her?" he asked quite loudly.

"For one, she'd think we were making it up just so she'd say yes to you, and it would make us sound like we think she can't take care of her self." Remus explained never taking his eyes off the book in his lap. James sighed, that's the last thing he wanted her to think. He grabbed his book bag and headed for the door to go to breakfast. Sirius, Remus, followed him, absorbed in their own conversation.

A/N: Wow, that chapter took me like 3 years. I just forgot about this story in all the hustle bustle of my life. But I found that I had written like 2 pages of my 3rd chapter, so I thought, What the Hell? So I started writing some more and getting into it. SO here you go!