The Choice, Part 2
Chapter 38
XXXVIII
Rath grimaced then yelled, like a man in pain.
"I can't. I don't want to change."
"Change what, Rath?"
"Me. I want to exist… now."
"Then you know what will happen."
"Yes."
"And Michael," the Drax-ta-Kiya said, addressing Michael's consciousness, "What is it that you want?"
"I want to exist… I want to bring back the time I lived in… Maria, my children, Max, Liz, and all the others."
"Will you destroy Rath to bring back your time… your existence?"
"I… I can't."
"Why can't you?"
"Because… I am Rath."
"Are you not Michael? You went in search of who you are. What did you learn? Is Michael who you want to be? Or do you still want to be Rath?"
"I don't want to be Rath. I never did."
"Didn't you?"
"No. Of course not."
"Then why did you search for that part of you?"
Michael was silent for a time. Then he spoke hesitantly…
"I am Michael… and I am Rath. I don't want to destroy Rath. I just want to be me. I had to know who is 'me.'"
"And who is 'you?'"
"Michael. I'm Michael."
"Does Michael exist?"
"Michael exists in me."
"In Rath's body?"
Michael thought about it. "It's me."
"Then who was calling himself Rath? How does Michael exist if he was never born?"
"I'm supposed to be asking you the questions! You're the master of time and all! Why are you asking me?"
"Because a future depends on your answers… on your choices."
"I'm tired of making choices."
"Are you tired of being Michael?"
"No. I didn't say that."
"But you sought out your past self. Why?"
"Curiosity."
"Are you sure that's all it was?"
"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?"
"That is the question. Why wouldn't it be? What is the answer, Michael? Or is it Rath?"
Michael thought a moment. "It's Michael. I don't know how I exist if I wasn't ever born… but I know it's me."
"Good. You are indeed Michael. And Rath?"
"Rath… Rath still exists… in his own time."
"What time is that?"
"The past…"
"Then where are you?"
Michael looked around and thought about it a few moments…
"I must be in my own time."
The Drax-ta-Kiya nodded. Michael looked at his surroundings. They did not appear to have changed.
"This place doesn't change, Dad."
Michael swung around. Kryys stood there, smiling.
"Kryys! Omigod, it's so great to see you again! Where have you been," Michael cried, not trying to hide his joy, hugging his son.
"Working on getting things back like they belonged, Dad… with the Drax-ta-Kiya."
"I thought the Nogi-Ky'a were doing that. They seemed to think they caused the rift in time."
"They did, Dad. And they were working on it. In about 183 years, they'll figure it out. I didn't think you wanted to wait that long."
Michael laughed and brushed tears off his cheek.
"You're right, Kryys. What are these? Tears? I thought we were… what do you call it? Incorporeal? Bodiless… here in this place."
"We are. But we have our own forms here, of a sort… and tears… and joy."
Michael hugged Kryys again, and the tears flowed silently down his face.
"Did I change time back just by making a choice," Michael asked the Drax-ta-Kiya, as he held Kryys tightly to him.
"No. Kryys and I fixed it. You had to, how can I put it, open the door, that's all."
"So you fixed the timeline… I just couldn't see it?"
"You had to open the door to go in, Michael. You had to come to terms with who you are… in your own time."
Michael nodded. "I think I understand. I've always been repulsed by my ties to Rath, but at the same time, I've always been fascinated by them. I think… what I've learned is that…"
"Yes?" the Drax-ta-Kiya prodded.
"…that I was both repulsed and fascinated by my own past… all of it, not just Rath. That I was repulsed by my upbringing… with Hank, you know. I didn't have real parents… just Hank. I wasn't… normal. I was the outcast… the weird-o. But I became what I am… and I married Maria… and I have Kryys here… and the others." Michael kissed Kryys on the cheek. "So I loved my life and rejected it at the same time. I loved what I had and didn't want to lose it."
"That's pretty simplified," the Drax-ta-Kiya nodded, "but that, basically, is the dilemma that you had created for yourself."
"I understand. Hank wasn't like a real parent, but I'm the one who created my own… dilemma or whatever. I'm not Hank. I'm me… and I'm Rath… in a sense. And I've come to terms with that now. It doesn't repulse me. I understand Rath now."
"Good. That is good. One must come to terms with themselves. That is always the way. For you, it was harder."
"Can we go home, Kryys?"
Kryys smiled and took Michael by the hand. As he did, both dissolved into a swirling maelstrom of a billion brilliant atoms. Then they disappeared.
The Drax-ta-Kiya smiled then breathed in deeply with satisfaction. His sightless eyes seemed happy, as he, too, dissolved into a billion tiny fiery atoms then reappeared on his own balcony overlooking the beautiful Valley of Jeroglasst. The Drax-ta-Kiya let the breeze blow over his face, as he surveyed the valley below him with whatever sense he used. It wasn't sight, as we know it. But he saw everything… everything. And he smiled.
tbc