You Could Have Caught Me

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Kind of like what happened to Pippin in the battle. And I am NOT desperate.

PD Andrew: Sure….

Anyway, remember do it all for Gold, God, and Glory!

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Chapter 30

The Mouth

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"Where is he?" I said impatiently. Aracaran in agreement, shook his head.

"Where is who?" asked Legolas

"The dude, he's late." I said grimly

"The dude…?" he said

"The dude!" I said "If he doesn't come that means the Frodo and Sam might not have made it, and, and…" but I didn't get to finish my sentence, because the dude showed up.

"I," he said "Am the Mouth of Sauron. Is there anyone with the authority to treat with me? Or the wit to withstand me?"

"Yea," I said "You may be the Mouth of Sauron, but I am the Mouth."

He turned his ugly eyes to me. Then he let out a harsh laugh.

"So in desperate need of fighters, do the armies of Gondor rely on women?"

"No, I came on my own free will. And I challenge you."

At this he laughed again.

I rode my horse right in front of him.

"What? Afraid a girl's going to win? I mean, a girl and a hobbit took down your Witch King, and you're just a lowly messenger boy."

At this he was angered.

"So, you're their messenger then?" he said

Gandalf tried to protest, but I interrupted.

"That, I am."

Then, the Mouth of Sauron withdrew an Elven cloak, a short sword, and the mithril coat.

I smiled, Sauron was playing into the palm of my hand, but still, I had my doubts that they had made it.

Pippin let out a wail of grief, and the Mouth of Sauron taunted him.

I drew Boromir's knife.

"Laugh at one more person, and taste what has killed many of your kind, and I will do so without another thought or regret."

He laughed

"I see it in your eyes, these rats were dear to you, and now they have failed."

Time for another approach.

"You know," I said putting my knife away, and speaking in a hushed tone "I did always like those Goth guys. Really hot. I might just give you a kiss if you give us those." I pointed to Sam and Frodo's belongings.

He blushed (I think), then whispered back "One kiss for each of them, those are the terms."

"Agreed."

"What is going on?" demanded Gandalf

"Just getting their things, to remember them by." I said then I turned to the Mouth of Sauron, "Give me the belongings first, you know, they don't call me the Mouth for nothing."

"For a few more, I may give you the rat himself, or he shall rot in Bara-dûr and be tortured."

"I will accept these." I said

He handed me the belongings.

"What are your terms?" asked Gandalf

"This lady has volunteered to kiss me 10 times, ("What!") for these belongings and the rat." He said

Then he leaned in. "Kiss number one." He said

"Do you know why they call me the Mouth?" I asked, loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Why?"

"They call me that because I can trick anyone into believing every word that I say, just as long as they don't really look into my eyes." And with that I slapped him, "Why in the hell would I kiss you anyway?" Then I rode back to the company, holding the mithril coat as if it were a flag.

He gave a strangled cry, and rode back into the gates.

"You don't get your little rat!" he cried

I handed over the things to Gandalf.

Aragorn looked at me.

"I actually thought you were going to do it."

"I would have, but he's a liar, his eyes said it plainly as mine do."

"I would have been there, chopping off his head, if he tried it." Said Gimli

"I would have shot him down." Said Legolas

I blushed "Did you really think I am that desperate, I'd kiss a guy that like doesn't even have a name?"

Then there was a roll of drums. We were being surrounded.

I gulped.

"I'll look out for you," said Eomer who had rode up next to me. "We all will."

"No!" I said "Look after you." But I was flattered, Eomer wanted to protect me!

Aragorn didn't have very much time to order us.

We stood proud, the two flags, the White Tree and the Stars, and the White Horse, of Rohan, waving in the wind.

The first bunch of Orcs and Uruk-hai were coming quickly. I pulled my knife.

"For Frodo and Sam!" cried Gandalf

"For Boromir, Middle Earth, and Glory!" I cried

Then they came.

My knife worked as fast as it could, some of the time, I just closed my eyes and stabbed. Not smart, but I don't like blood and killing, but this was for a good cause.

Then all of a sudden, my head was hit with hurt beyond belief, and I was tired, everything went in slow motion. There were voices and shouts all around me, I could make out just one word 'eagles', 'Good, I thought, Gandalf didn't mess one thing up. Then my eyes blurred and this was all just a bad dream…

I was floating above myself. Huh, I thought, that's strange. But I didn't think anything more on it; it didn't seem to bother me that I was floating above myself.

'You did well.' Said a voice

'Boromir?'

'Yes?'

'Am I dying?'

There was silence.

'No, not yet.'

Then the realization came, I was dying, not yet, but I was.

I tried to go back down. The battle was over, and I was lying there.

Then I heard a shout, and Aragorn and Eomer were standing above me.

Then everything faded once more.

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