Six string rangers

Curtains open.

Spawn guy: The idiot squad continued their merry way to NASA. With the time force rangers now…riding shotgun what new levels of stupidity can we expect? (Looks at a piece of paper) Oh and music lovers are asked not to throw, hurl or fire projectiles of any sort at the stage. Not that I'd blame you.

The jeep/van pulls up outside NASA. The magnificent tetrad collapse out of the various windows.

Carter (Delusional): Limooooosss…

Wes: Well here we are. We'll send you the bill for the van of course…

Carter (snaps out of it): Now wait just a minute! That was a perfectly good rescue jeep…

Jason (out of shot): Ahem.

They all turn round to see…Jason the original red ranger, flanked by his old friend Tommy.

Spawn guy: Oh magnificence! Oh excitement! Two of the first people to wear spandex on national TV! Oh I'm all of a flutter! Where's my pen? Where's my paper? Oh damn it; I hope I get run over right now to preserve this moment!

(This is pure sarcasm by the way)

Tommy (Coldly): It can be arranged.

Eric: My liege!

Carter, Eric and Wes throw themselves on all fours at Jason's feet.

Jason: That voice worries me. I've told you.

Cole hasn't thrown himself in front of Jason, being to busy undoing one of the stage lights.

Jason: Ah. New blood. (Points to Cole) You boy!

Cole: Wha?

Jason: That's not how you undo a spotlight. Look. (Does it properly for him. We're dealing with a man of experience here.) So what's your name new guy?

Cole: Huh?

Tommy grabs him and throws him to the floor.

Jason: So the little rascal has spirit!

Tommy: Wha?

Jason: Spirit! Bravado! Daring do!

Tommy: I think were out it. I'll have to check the fridge.

I don't have to tell you how weird this is because Jason isn't lisping.

Jason: So…what is your name new guy?

Cole: What?

Jason: Strike him Mr Tommy! Strike him very roughly!

Tommy: What Jase?

Jason: STRIKE HIM!

Tommy: Oh. (Does so) And eh…throw him to the floor?

Jason: No, no I don't think so. So…what is your name new guy?

Cole: Cole.

Jason: Ah. Coal.

Cole: No, Cole…C-O-L-E…

Tommy strikes him again and is about to throw him to the floor when he realises his mistake.

Tommy: Wait…oh I get it.

Jason: C'mon in. You better met Andros and TJ.

Carter: Err…sorry, don't know. I think they lost to the Mets.

Jason takes a deep breath before leading them into one of the large hangers.

Jason: Well Cole I've known your father since he was this high. (Makes a really tiny circle with thumb and finger.)

Pause.

Jason: That's not really possible is it?

The others shake their heads.

Jason: Well you better come in. Mr Tommy!

Tommy salutes.

Jason: Show our travelling companions our mighty vehicle!

Tommy (Shocked): In public!?

Cole looks accusingly at Carter.

Carter: Ummm…I got nothing for this one.

Jason: Show. Them. The. Ship!

Tommy: Oh God Jase…really…I…I gotta protest…

Andros steps forward, out of the shadows the same way the butler always dose.

Andros: He means the megaship.

This startles the others.

Wes: Good God…

Andros: I get that a lot.

Cole: His hair!

Andros: I get that a lot too.

Jason: Ah Andros, the reason we're all here. (Andros looks smug) You owe us money from the last poker night.

Andros (nervous): I…spent it.

Every one except Cole forms a very tight circle around Andros.

Tommy: You know what we do to people who don't pay debts?

Andros: Their told their very naughty and not to do it again?

Jason: No.

Andros: They…lose their bowling team membership?

Jason: No.

Andros (ala c3po): Oh dear, oh dear…

Enter TJ

TJ: Howdy y'all! How's it going down here?

Jason: Ah Mr TJ. How's it going indeed? Is the ship ready for launch?

TJ goes slack jawed. Jason sighs.

Cole (stepping between them): Excuse me this is all fascinating…but I was promised a performance of Vegas style proportion.

Jason looks at Carter in a "What have you been saying to this boy" kind of way.

Carter: Ah no…we just sang about that.

Cole: Well what's being a red ranger got to do with musical talent?

Jason: ah well…

Tommy: Oh great. One of the long stories.

Jason: Back when I was a red ranger…just starting out as a matter of fact…Zordon…

Cole: Who?

Jason, Tommy, Andros and TJ all laugh. The rest (apart from Cole) all try to act like their in on the joke.

Jason: Ohhhh…you naive rookie. Any way Zordon discovered the main aspect that kept me going as a ranger, even more powerful than my determination, my leadership skills…

Tommy: Hell yeah, you didn't even have any leadership skills.

Jason (frowns but continues): …was my passion for musical theatre. Humming the breakfast club anthem under my breath got me out of a lot of difficult situations.

Tommy: Oh yeah! Remember Goldar and the whipped cream monster?

Jason (shuddering): I'd rather not. Since this was one of my best abilities…

Tommy: Your only worth while attribute …

Jason:…Zordon sent probes into the future to find destined to be rangers with the same talent, in order to further help the rangers' mission.

Cole: So where did this music talent come from?

Jason: Well it began like this…

Tommy: Oh God. Here we go…

Stage goes dark. Jason steps center and into the (undone) spotlight.

Music to Six string orchestra starts

Jason: From the very day I purchased it,

I christened my guitar

As my monophonic symphony

Six string orchestra.

In my room I'd practice late

They'd leave me alone.

My mother says you're nothing yet

To make the folks write home.

Tommy steps forward with a base guitar.

Jason: And so I dream a base will join me

And fill the bottom in.

And maybe now some lead guitars

So it wouldn't sound so thin.

Cole steps forward as lead guitar

Jason: And so I dream a base will join me

And fill the bottom in.

And maybe now some lead guitars

So it wouldn't sound so thin.

I need some drums to set the beat

And help keep me in time.

And way back in the distance some horns would sound so fine.

Spotlight on TJ playing drums, and Wes, Carter, Andros and Eric playing horns.

Jason, Tommy and Cole: And we'd all play together

Like fine musicians should.

And it would sound liked music

And the music would sound good.

Jason: But in real life I'm stuck with

That same old formula.

My monophonic symphony

Six string…

Jason plays the last note. Really badly

Jason: …orchestra.

Cole: So…that's how it all began?

Jason: No…but it past the time didn't it?

Tommy: So are you in (like a schoolgirl) we are gonna have soooo much fun!

Cole: yeah I'm in.

There's a very flat Monty Python style" hooray".

Cole: Now…what do you need us for?

Jason: Manpower for the biggest musical event of the year.

Awed hush.

Curtain closes.

Spawn guy: Be where you were glued to next time for The low and the mighty or What no ranger should have to see. This production bought t o you by Vogon planet distribution. Remember the price of gravity can go up as well as down.