The Four Faces of Rath
Split-tail Turkey
Chapter 59
LVIX
Jim tossed the two big birds down on the porch at Kathleen's feet, and Kathleen stared at the odd-looking, round, feathered creatures with long, split tails.
"What are those, Jim?"
"Turkeys."
"No, no, no…" Kathleen said, shaking her head emphatically. "Max said there are no turkeys on Antar. Besides, those aren't turkeys. I know turkeys when I see them, and that's… not them! Those aren't anything I've ever seen before, Jim."
"Well, I guess they're Antarian turkeys, Kath. Alien turkeys would look different, wouldn't they?"
Kathleen hesitated, as she looked at the huge birds. They were roughly the size of turkeys… maybe a little bigger. And they were fat and had turkey-like feathers… but the tail was about four feet long… and split into two halves. And the head was odd-looking. It sort of looked like a turkey's head… except for the color… and the fire-red eyes.
"If there were such a thing as an Antarian turkey, I guess this might be what one would look like," Kathleen conceded.
"Well, there you go, Kath! We can invite the gang over for Thanksgiving dinner!"
"Are these edible, Jim?"
Jim shrugged. "We'll find out."
Kathleen's eyebrows went up a couple of inches. "Maybe you'd better let Varec test one of them first, Jim. You wouldn't want to poison all our guests."
"Well, there won't be that many guests, Kath. Max and Liz, Michael and Maria, and a few others will be on their way to Earth in some other dimension by tomorrow… to save their… alternate selves or something."
"Well… you don't want to poison ME, do you," Kathleen said emphatically.
Jim smiled. "Actually, Hon, Varec's assistant already checked them out for me. They're edible… and nutritious, she says."
"Okay," Kathleen said hesitantly, "but how do they taste?"
Jim shrugged. "There's got to be SOME mystery in life, Kath. Call the others… whoever's still left in this dimension… Tell them we're having Thanksgiving dinner here at the ranch. The entrée is… uh… Antarian… Nan-Torel split-tail turkey."
Kathleen shook her head and picked one of the birds up by the feet. "I don't want to guess who's going to pluck these."
"I'll give you a hand," Jim said.
"Soooo gallant of you," Kathleen replied with a grin. "You know, eating a lot of turkey always put me to sleep. It's that enzyme or amino acid that's in turkey meat… tryptophan… I hope these birds don't have that…" Kathleen looked at the huge birds again and sighed. "And I hope they'll fit in my oven!"
Thanksgiving Day
At the Valenti ranch, Jim finished setting the last plate on the table then walked to the door to answer yet another knock.
"Michael! Maria! I thought when we called… you guys said you were leaving for Dimension Why this morning."
"Dimension Y," Michael corrected. "Yeah, we were, but the guys over at the lab needed a few more hours to get the ship ready, and we heard you were cooking."
Jim grinned. "Yep! You heard right. Come on in. Are Max and Liz comin', too?"
"They may. Max was still hanging around the hangar watching them prep the new granolith, but I've got a feeling they'll be here."
"Kind of a last meal before the trip, huh?"
Michael nodded. "Yeah, a last meal for awhile among friends anyway. Little R2-D2 cooks up some pretty good meals on the ship, but he's poor company."
Kathleen walking into the room at that moment with a crock pot full of something that looked like mashed potatoes. "R2-D2? Is that what you named the little service droid on the new granolith now?"
Maria laughed. "No, that's just what Michael calls him. We really should name him. He's like part of the crew. Come to think of it, we really should name the ship. What kind of name is 'new granolith?' It's not even a name… it's just a description or something."
Jim nodded. "A name for the ship would be a good thing… The 'Antar I' or something.
"Yeah, something original, though… and cool," Maria said.
As they spoke, Kyle and Jeliya walked into the room. "Michael! Maria! You guy's late getting off on your trip?"
"Yeah," Michael replied with an acknowledging nod. "The space guys over at the lab needed a few more hours to finish stocking the ship and calculating the dimensional theory to get us where we're going in the other dimension."
"Well, I'm glad you could both join us," Kyle said, patting Michael on the back. "Alex and Isabel are out back with Mareeya and Ceelya petting the yoriths. I think Danyy's with them. Tess and Rayylar were around here somewhere with Jiba and Drel. They may have gone for a walk or they may be out back with Alex and Iz and their kids. And Taz is playing hide and seek with a few of the other children. Where's Kryys… and Jayyd… and Zorel?"
Michael laughed. "They saw Taz and the others and headed off to play with them till dinner's ready."
"Well, Danyy will keep them occupied," Kyle said. "His pawgor friend, Jung-Jo, is out there somewhere with his mate and their three babies. Only they're not babies anymore."
"Yeah, I know… I saw them a few days ago," Michael said. "They're like half grown already."
Kathleen came into the dining room at that moment and placed a very large platter on the table with Jim's help… "Well, guys, the dinner's ready. Get everyone inside and have the kids wash their hands and we can start."
"I'll round up the kids," Jim said. He stepped out the door onto the porch and yelled…
"DINNER'S READY! ANYONE NOT IN THE HOUSE IN TWO MINUTES GOES HUNGRY."
Within seconds, children came running… and right behind them were a number of parents.
"Have a seat at the table everyone… after you've washed your face and hands," he added in the direction of the kids. Several children ran off toward the bathrooms, followed by a few of the parents. Soon, everyone was seated around the table, but before they could begin, there was another knock on the door. Jim went to answer it.
"Max!" Jim said with a big smile, as he opened the door. "And Liz… Gee, I'm sorry, guys… You're late. We finished everything off already. I wish you could have been here. It was delicious!"
"Oh, that's okay," Liz said politely, shaking her head. "We just came over to join in the celebrating before we go… while they're finishing up with the ship."
Max looked a little disappointed, but he smiled and agreed with Liz. Jim grinned and opened the door all the way.
"Get in here. We're just getting started. I was pullin' your leg. We've got a couple of chairs already pulled up to the table for you."
Jim seated Max and Liz then took his own seat at the head of the table.
"Would you cut the turkey for us, Jim," Kathleen asked. Jim smiled and picked up the carving knife and began to slice off different portions for each person according to his or her request.
"Smells good," Tess said. "I can't wait to see how it tastes." She picked her fork up and started to take a bite, but then she noticed that Jim seemed to be watching her.
"Oh… I'm sorry. Was I supposed to wait… or something?"
"No, no!" Kathleen replied reassuringly. "Jim just was wondering how you would like it."
"Oh." Tess nodded and put the fork into her mouth. Then she closed her eyes.
"Mmmm! It's delicious!" She took another bite. "I think this is really the best turkey I've ever had, Kathleen! Where did you find these on Antar? Did you bring them from Earth, Jim, like last year… with the sphere?"
"Nope," Jim replied. "Got 'em right here on Antar."
"I didn't know there were turkeys on Antar," Tess said.
"Well, maybe not if you're not at least three miles inside the Nan-Torel," Jim replied with a grin. "These are Antarian Nan-Torel split-tail turkeys."
"I never heard of them," Tess said, taking another bite. "But they're the best thing I think I've ever tasted on Antar!" She wiped her mouth and smiled. "And Antarian food is pretty good."
With that high praise, everyone began to eat, and soon the table was buzzing with agreement regarding the culinary value of Jim's "turkeys."
"I've got to hand it to you, Jim," Max said. "I think anything I wanted, I could probably send you into the Nan-Torel, and you would find it."
There was some laughter and a lot of nodding heads.
"Well, here's to Jim… and to Jim's turkeys," Dan Klein said, raising a glass of jubish.
"Yeah! Hear! Hear!" several others echoed, as everyone else raised their glasses in agreement.
Soon, the guests were all actively enjoying the abundant dishes of badas, grelliats, guma, and all the split-tail turkey they could eat, washing everything down with jubish, Cherry Coke, or Snapple laced with Tabasco sauce. Seated at another table, the children seemed to be enjoying the food as much as their parents, especially the amazing Nan-Torel split-tail turkey. Clearly, this dinner was going to go down as a major success, and no one could have been more pleased about it than Jim. After dinner, Kathleen served the traditional Antarian flaming flan, japo-mevanish, with Jaht-roo cookies; and those who wanted, had an after dinner cup of real Earth coffee that Jim had stashed away from his last trip to Earth.
"That was delicious," Alex said. "Kathleen, you are the greatest! You can cook for me anytime!"
Kathleen smiled. "Thank you, Alex! You're so kind."
"Yes, he is," Isabel said, looking up toward the ceiling.
"Iz, what in the world are you looking for," Michael asked. Isabel smiled, seeming unoffended by the apparent bluntness of Michael's question.
"Stars," she replied simply with a giddy smile.
"Well, shouldn't you be outside then?"
Isabel shook her head. "Nope." She looked at Alex then reached up and appeared to take something from the air and place it into Alex's hand. Alex opened his hand and looked.
"It's beautiful, Iz!"
"What?" Michael said. "I don't see anything."
"The star," Isabel said. "I reached up and got a star and gave it to Alex." Isabel kissed Alex lightly on the lips.
At the children's table, Zorel looked at Kryys, and his eyes widened. Kryys smiled back and looked amused. Mareeya, Ceelya, and the other children all smiled.
Then Max began to laugh.
"What's so funny?" Michael asked. "No one told a joke."
Max shook his head then broke out laughing again. He looked at Liz.
"I was thinking how beautiful you are, Liz."
Liz smiled and leaned over to give Max a kiss.
"And that's funny?" Michael asked with a puzzled expression.
"Yeah," Diane Klein replied for Max. "I understand Max." She leaned over and kissed Dan, who kissed her back rather passionately.
"Okay, that's enough for me," Zorel said. "I'm going out to play with Danyy. This is getting to be weird! A guy could die from all this sweetness!" He looked at the other children, but most of them just giggled as they watched Dan kiss Diane.
"Do you see the stars?" Isabel asked, pointing toward the ceiling. "They're everywhere! They're so beautiful! I can reach out and touch them."
"They're all for you," Alex said. Isabel smiled and kissed Alex again.
"I see them, too," Tess whispered.
"I don't see anything," her husband, Rayylar, said with a puzzled look. "I don't either," Kyle's wife, Jeliya, said, searching in the air for something that she felt must be there in spite of her inability to see it.
"Reach up and you'll touch them," Tess said.
"Well, I didn't see them before," Jim said, "but now I do. Whoa! They'd make great target practice!"
Kathleen giggled then began to laugh.
"I didn't think that was funny at all," Michael said. "I don't even see any stars. Stars! Stars! Where are you? Come out so I can see you!"
Kathleen grabbed Jim and pushed him down into his chair then sat across his lap. "The only target practice you're getting, Jimbo, is with me." She smiled and planted a big kiss on his lips, as Max began to laugh again.
"WHAT?" Michael asked.
"I have x-ray vision!" Max said. "I can see through Liz's clothes! I can see through everyone's clothes." Michael looked at Max, at first with a look of disbelief, then with a look of amusement.
"Well, why didn't you say so!" Michael started to laugh, too.
"Do you have x-ray vision, too, Michael?"
Michael shook his head then dissolved into laughter again. "No. I just think it's so funny that you do, Max. That's a riot!"
Maria pulled at Michael's arm. "Let's dance, cosmic lover! Jim's singing for everyone." She pulled Michael out into the middle of the floor, and they began to dance. Michael smiled and buried the side of his face in Maria's hair, as he gave himself up to the moment with Maria.
Kathleen sat watching Jim sing, with a look of immense approval on her face.
"Do you like Jim's music," she asked Diane sitting beside her. Diane nodded.
"It's all colors," Kathleen said. "The notes are different colors when they come out of his mouth. Some of them are blue… some of them are red… and some of them are pure golden. If I catch them, I can rearrange them and make a new song."
Diane nodded. "They're beautiful, Kath! I really love Jim's singing! Don't you, Dan?"
Dan nodded. "I wish I could sing in colors."
Diane kissed Dan again. "There are plenty of things I love about you, Dan Klein! You don't need to sing, too."
Rayylar seemed to be the only one who noticed that someone was knocking on the door. He walked to the door and opened it and found Varec standing there.
"Rayylar, Can I come in? I need to tell Zan something before he… before they… Oh, oh…"
"What's going on, Varec?" Rayylar asked.
Varec breathed a deep sigh, as he looked around the room. Max and Liz were wrapped in each other's arms on the sofa, Kyle seemed to have similar ideas with Jeliya nearby, Michael and Maria were lost in their dance, Kathleen sat enraptured as Jim sang love songs, Dan and Diane seemed to have found a corner to cuddle in, Alex and Isabel were catching stars for each other… between kisses, and Tess was attached to Rayylar's arm like a tattoo.
"Well, maybe it's not as bad as I thought," Varec said. "My assistant made a slight mistake. She told Jim that his 'turkey' was safe to eat. It is safe, of course, if one is Antarian. But she did not take into consideration the differences of alien physiology."
"In other words," Rayylar said, "I'm the only one who's normal right now… me and Jeliya? I thought it was some kind of odd Earth celebration ritual. I was afraid to say anything."
"Well…" Varec looked at the amused children, "the children should be okay… and you two. They were all born here, so they shouldn't have any unusual effects from eating the birds Jim caught. But Earth physiology, in particular, is… a bit different. I'm afraid anyone with Earth DNA who wasn't born here would experience some kind of symptoms."
Rayylar motioned around the room. "Like these symptoms?"
"Maybe," Varec said. "Euphoria, giddiness, intoxication, possible hallucinations…"
"Will they be okay?"
Varec nodded. "It'll wear off by the end of the day… or I could give them each one of the antidote shots I brought with me." He looked around the room again and smiled slightly.
"Why don't we just let it wear off naturally, huh, Rayylar?"
Rayylar looked at Tess wrapped around his arm like a tourniquet and sighed, then he nodded. "Yeah, I guess you and I can watch the children for a few hours, Varec."
Two hours later, the room was basically quiet. The children had been sent back out to play. Max was asleep on the sofa with Liz lying on top of him. Her head rested on Max's chest, and she was asleep, too, smiling. Michael and Maria had slowly collapsed onto the floor, bringing their dance to an end. Both were asleep on the floor. Michael's arms were still around Maria, and both appeared to be in some very pleasant place judging from the smiles on their faces. Elsewhere around the room, the scene was repeated, with each couple seeming to be blissfully off in some land of happy dreams together. Though unaffected herself, Jeliya, lying on a sofa with Kyle's arms wrapped around her, had decided to just go with it. Rayylar looked at Varec and shook his head.
"Who knew. Crazy alien physiology. I wonder how long they'll sleep." Varec shrugged.
Liz smiled and hugged Kathleen then gave Jim a kiss on the cheek, as they accompanied Max and Liz to the door.
"That was… amazing," Liz said, her face turning a little red in spite of herself. "I don't think I've ever had a dinner quite like that, Kath. It was very, very… tasty." Liz hesitated as she thought for a moment. "Enjoy those leftovers, Jim. Looks like you're going to be eating Nan-Torel turkey sandwiches for the next week at least."
Jim's eyes opened wide, then he half smiled as he looked around the room quickly… "Uh, Rayylar! Come here, buddy! You liked the turkey, didn't you?"
"Yeah, it was delicious!"
"Well, look, why don't you and Tess take the rest of it home and have it for leftovers."
"Are you sure?"
Kathleen nodded. "We're sure, Rayylar. If we ever eat split-tail turkey again, Jim will have to arrest us both."
"I thought you enjoyed it," Rayylar said.
Kathleen turned slightly red. "I did… we did! Maybe a bit too much. You take it, Rayylar.
Rayylar looked at Tess for a moment then looked back at Kathleen and smiled. "Well, okay… Maybe Jeliya and Kyle would like to take some of it home, too…"
Jeliya looked at Kyle and broke into a grin. Rayylar smiled. "I thought so."
Rayylar and Jeliya took the rest of the cut up turkey, thanked Jim and Kathleen, and left for their own homes. After the others had all gone, too, Jim sat down in his chair and leaned back with a sigh.
"That was fun, Kath. Want to do it again next year?"
Kathleen smiled and shook her head.
"I think everyone had a great time today, Kath. They seemed to be enjoying themselves."
"Yeah," Kathleen agreed. "They did enjoy themselves. No doubt about that."
"And they loved the food, too," Jim said. "Everyone said that the turkey tasted great."
Kathleen nodded. "It was good."
Jim picked up his copy of the Antar News and flipped the Video screen on.
"We've got a lot to be thankful for, Kath… you know? Good friends, health, a place where we can live and not be constantly harassed by neurotic, paranoid alien hunters… Odd, isn't it? Here we are actually on an alien planet… and we're free, our kids are free, we're all happy, everyone's our friend… while on our own planet we were hunted down and almost killed by our own species. Kind of makes you think, doesn't it?"
Kathleen nodded. "Yeah, I've thought about it a lot. I was one of those paranoid, neurotic alien hunters."
Jim smiled. "But you got your alien, Kath."
"Yeah, I guess I did," Kathleen agreed, sitting down on Jim's lap and giving him a kiss. "I hope this is not too much torture for you."
Jim grinned. "I think I can bear it."
"By the way, Kath, what's for supper tonight?"
Kathleen smiled. "Turkey soup."
tbc
Coming next: The plan continues to rescue Liz, Alex, and the others from Earth, and Jim is convinced to go along on the mission.