Chapter Four – I'll Never Let You Go

The next couple of days went well for him, with Cordelia sleeping in the same bed as he, but with him only receiving cuddles. Wesley didn't know what he would do when Cordelia decided that they could be more intimate again. Taking advantage of her wouldn't be right. He just wished that the other Cordelia would come back and ask whatever questions she had on her agenda. He just knew it wouldn't be what he wanted to hear.

The agency obtained another case: breaking up an extortion ring. The police couldn'thandle it, so the person who was being extorted employed them to find out exactly who was responsible. Now Wesley felt at a loss. He knew demons, languages, everything about the supernatural world, but he didn't exactly know how to be a detective. Faking it would be in order.

"So Wes will get on that as soon as possible," Angel finished as the meeting they all were attending ended.

They all were together: Angel, Cordy, Gunn, Doyle, Faith, himself. He did have to admit that they made quite a team. They each contributed in their own way. While Cordy handled all the office matters, the rest had their contacts in the area when they needed to gather information. Wesley usually handled all the research, with everyone else pitching in as necessary. In his world, everyone but him hated research.

"I'm going to need some assistance," he asked politely.

Everyone scattered, even Cordelia. Nothing ever changes, he moaned.

So Wesley poked around until he was satisfied that he could find no more information on the Internetregarding some leads. Since Cordelia had gone out on an errand, he had the whole office to himself. It felt nice for once to have it quiet. He missed the times in the other dimension when it was quiet. It never seemed to be quiet here.

Brewing himself a pot of tea, he carefully brought it back to his desk. But he forgot the refill his sugar pot. Making his way back to the kitchen, he heard someone off in the distance. As he opened the door to the basement, he turned on the light to find Faith hiding on the steps. She turned her head forcefully away as he approached.

He had avoided her the most out of all the group. Was this Faith different than the other one? It made him wonder that if circumstances had been different for the girl if she would have turned out much like this one. Sure, this one was still brash and quick to anger, but he could see how much she cared about everyone. Where his Faith looked weary of life in general.

Slowly he stepped down to her level. "Faith? I'm sorry to intrude, but are you all right?" No time like the present to try and make amends.

"It's OK. Just fine," she snuffled.

Tears, Wesley exclaimed. Oh, how he hated tears. He never knew exactly how to deal with them. Should he tell her to stop this insane nonsense, or should he inquire about her problems?It couldn't be that bad.

"It seems that sitting in the dark in a quite dank basement crying would not make you look fine."

"Huh? Oh, you're trying to comfort me. That's a first."

Wesley practically hissed at her comment. Same old Faith. "I'll just go."

"No, wait. Wes, I'm just, sorry. I am in the crappiest mood is all. Stay."

She said she was sorry? That word wasn't in Faith's vocabulary. There was hope for the world yet. He parked himself on the step beside her, waiting for her to spill, as Cordelia always so aptly put it.

Nothing came out. The awkwardness permeated the air. "Faith, is there something that I could do?"

"No. This is so screwed. What am I gonna do?"

Great, she was in trouble yet again. He concluded that she must have done something against the law. Why else would she sulk in the basement? Hiding from Kate probably.

"Do about what?" he carefully asked her.

"You, I can't, you won't understand."

Maybe he could understand. He certainly hadn't understood her back in Sunnydale. It was a wonder what a year would do to a person's outlook on life. He no longer blamed Faith for his downfall. He blamed himself. It was entirely his fault that she was now in prison for murder.

"Faith, whatever has happened between us is in the past. I know it hasn't been easy."

Faith snorted in response. "You don't do easy." But neither did she.

"You have no idea. It's complicated to say the least."

"Where'd we go wrong, Wes? Why are we here right now?"

He hoped that this wasn't Cordelia's test. He wasn't ready for those questions. But those had been questions that had been rolling around in his head the last few months. He thought himself lucky to have found a few, loyal friends in his life that he could depend upon. What if that was disrupted? Would he fall apart? Depending on people hadn't been a problem before Sunnydale because he hadn't fallen into that trap. Being independent had been a good trait to have in his life. Now people depended on him. The pressure could be overwhelming sometimes.

"Very deep questions, Faith. Ones that I don't feel qualified to answer."

"You're the smartest person I know. If you don't know the answers, than who the hell does?"

Wesley sighed, raking his hand down his stubbly face. Shaving had become a thing of the past. The beard he was working on was fast filling in. He'd have to try that once he returned to his dimension. Saved time in the morning getting ready for work.

"I suspect," he started, "that we have been put here to do good. Fight the good fight. There's just so much evil out there in the world."

"Yeah," Faith agreed with him, looking down at the floor.

"Faith, what do you think that you did to me that was so wrong?"

What had this Faith done to him? Or had he done something to her? He would really like to know these secrets before continuing.

"I, uh, damn it. This is so not easy for me. OK, I know what I did was wrong. I knew you'd never forgive me for it. I hurt you bad."

She had hurt him badly. Deeply, worse than she would ever know. So why wasn't he frightened of her anymore? Maybe because there were more deadly, hideous things out there that went bump in the night that scared him worse. And that he had failed her in his quest to please people that didn't mean a thing to him.

"I must have contributed to this," he told her.

Faith shook her head no. "Don't you go on that guilt trip you're always pulling. Runnin' when things got too hot doesn't work. I know that now."

As Cordelia would say "Cryptic much?" He just wished she would come right out and say what she did to him.

"I'm surprised sometimes that you even want me around. You and Cordy seem so happy. Why would you risk that?"

Happy with Cordelia? He could be happy with her. She was a happy person to be with. She was intelligent, witty, charming, sexy, loyal, everything that he would ever want in a woman.

"You needed our help. Remember that we help the helpless."

"Yeah, right. Ever since someone bantered around that motto, it seems like that's been the mission. We really can do some good."

He wished that this Faith could exchange places with the other Faith. So that she could see how many people cared about her.

"That's what we do," he quickly agreed.

Pulling away the curtain of hair that had descended around her, she turned her head to look directly at him. She looked so lost, he suddenly thought. Just like she had in Sunnydale.

"What could be so terrible?" he started to ask.

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh dear," he replied, not sure what else to say. He had never been good in these types of situations.

"You were right. He up and left me. I messed up royally. I'm barely keepin' my head above water and now this? Sometimes I think someone's out to get me."

Good, it wasn't him. He didn't think that it had been. Nice to be sure. He did figure out that he and Cordelia had been in a relationship for a while. Was this dimension's Wesley as loyal as he was? Probably more so.

"We make mistakes occasionally. Look at me."

Faith laughed a little. "Hey, bud. Unless things have changed, you can't make this big a mistake. You tryin' to tell me something?"

"No, no, Faith. It's just, you try to make the best of what you have. And you have all of us to fall back on."

Faith dropped her head back to look at the ceiling. "You know how I feel about that."

"That you don't want to rely on anyone else."

Her head jerked back to his. Eureka, he concluded. This Faith wasn't so different from his. And this Faith started to get up from her perch, running from the conversation, just like his Faith had done so many times.

"I kinda have to go. Angel needs me to track something down. Um, can you keep a secret?"

"Sure. No problem. But you can't run for long, Faith. I'm here to help you."

Not we're here to help you. He purposely stated that he was here to help her. If he was able to gain her confidence, then he thought that maybe this Faith could make a life for herself. His Faith had already sealed her fate. The flicker of hope for his dimension's Faith had flared once more though.

Faith bent down and placed a kiss on his head, and then bounded up the stairs before he could respond. He really liked to think that he had made an impression on her. He would just have to wait and see.

After seeing to more research for their latest case, Wesley sat in his office and twirled a pencil between two fingers. He could read for hours in his world. But in this world, there wasn't any things to translate that took days. There wasn't any prophecies to go over, no demons to look up for Angel to vanquish. Good, hard information gathering was all this Wesley did. Sometimes it was nice for a break in the action.

"Hey," Cordelia said quietly from the doorway.

"Oh, hello, my dear. Why are you here?"

Cordelia pointedly looked at her watch. "Uh, because, it's like really late and you hadn't come upstairs yet. Just checkin' to make sure that the books hadn't taken over like in that movie."

He had no earthly idea what movie to which she was referring. The cultural references sometimes flew directly over his head.

"No, I'm quite all right. Yourself?"

She came in and closed the door behind her. The lobby beyond her was dark and quiet. Apparently in all the time he was enclosed in his office, everyone else had gone home.

The look in Cordelia's eyes had turned sultry. She literally slinked her way over to him, showing her best attribute for him to enjoy. And enjoy it he did. He was a man, thank you very much. This Cordelia expected him to pay quite a bit of attention to her.

"How about you call it a night?" she purred to him as she bent over his desk.

"Oh my," he breathed as he took in the sight of her exposed cleavage.

Cordelia bit down on her bottom lip, making him want to repeat that process that she was now performing. "You're better, right? Head feels OK?"

So this was why she had kept her distance. She still thought he was injured. "Perfectly all right. Never better."

"Good," she said as her hands came up around his head. "I can never get enough of this."

Her lips were warm and inviting as she kissed him. He had been dreaming about this over the last couple of days, hoping that either the other Cordelia would retrieve him or this Cordelia would make up her mind. He had almost gone crazy with worry that he'd make the wrong decision.

Decisions were the last thing from his mind at the moment. Papers flew everywhere as Cordelia crawled over the desk to join him on his chair. She felt so right fitted against him. So warm and willing in his arms. This felt so good and so right, he loathed to leave it any time soon.

Slowly, he lowered his head to her neck, tasting her delectable scent on his tongue. Her hands shifted through his hair, sending shivers down his spine. Parting her top, he worshiped her wonderful breasts until she was panting. Since she had already scooted off the papers on his desk, he decided to be much more bold than he would ever be in his dimension and laid her down in front of him. Rising over her, he took her mouth with his again, wanting to feel all of her.

All his dreams had come true. Cordelia was a willing partner, he had friends, a good job. Nothing could go wrong. He savored this moment like he would no other memory. This Cordelia he could easily fall in love with, if he hadn't already. Leaving would not be easy. As a matter of fact, he didn't want to leave at all. He had been awarded a special prize. Cordelia Chase would be his, heart, body, mind and soul. As she screamed out his name and he soon followed, he whispered in her ear the words he had never told another living being. He loved her, deeply, passionately, immensely, with all his heart. And nothing would ruin that love.

TBC

Next: Wesley's world comes crashing down.

Author notes: So sappy. I'm on a sapfest. There shouldn't be too many more chapters to this fic. So stay tuned for more.

Thanks go out to pixie88, Imzadi, psychotic chaos and everyone else. I know I haven't posted as quickly on this fic. I'm hoping to speed it up though.

Pixie88-I needed a change from my Wes/Faith fics.

Imzadi—Yeah, no evil Lindsey here. I rewatched the episode with the evil hand. So much fun.

Psychotic chaos—not dead here; in a different reality; you see about the reference to snow.