AN: Another story. I hope that you'll like it. Feedback is always welcome.
Without You
By Cat
I looked around and brushed away a strand of my brunette hair; the sky was now varying shades of blue and orange. I had stood here for hours; waiting. I don't know what for though. I had just felt an unseen force draw me here, I didn't know what to expect. Nor how to act here; it was all very confusing. With what had happened in the last few weeks; I had been to the funeral, and the memorial service, and Ed was saying that he was always there to talk to. What for? Ed didn't know what I was going through at the moment! It was all well and good for him to say; with his CIA stuff. But did he really know how I felt? I just lost one of my very good friends! Possibly my best friend, but he had never felt the right to call me that in return.
I admit that I was often jealous throughout my life. During high school, I was what some people may call a loner; I've never had anyone to myself during my life, not even a friend like him for most of it. My father had died when I was young and my mother had always been busy with work. We had lost contact when I had become sixteen; I had run away and become a casino host, pretending I was older. I don't know what drove me to it.
Fate, destiny, I never believed in anything like that. All I know is it's what brought me to be here today. It's what had brought him here too. I feel bad; when I had first met him I had considered him to be an egotistical pig who only wanted sex. I had dumped him, thinking that it was the end. But later on he had come to the casino where I had been working, not a very good job at the time. But it had been an honest living, the only one I had at the time. He had offered me a job and I had taken it.
I sort of regret taking the job, it was a factor that brought me here. What if I hadn't taken the job? Would I have met him or would I have just continued my life in one of the smaller casinos in Las Vegas. I guess that I'm sort of glad that I took the job, it kept me alive, and it gave me the chance to like someone- the chance to love someone.
I also regret that fact that I had pushed him away the first time, perhaps I would have been able to get to know him better. I don't know what drew me to him; all I know is that it happened. Over the months, or years, it just happened. I guess that he was like me in a way; even though we were surrounded by many people we were always alone.
I felt a raindrop touch my shoulder and another fall on my head. I should be going soon; I may as well say some words before I go.
I take a deep breath and open my mouth, but words escape me for the moment. I look at the flowers that surrounded the grave and the photograph that was leaning against the headstone.
"Danny…" I whispered before a tear trailed down my cheek, mingling with the rain drops. "I'm sorry that I never told you what your friendship meant to me, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. You were like my saviour, you were the only person that I could really ever talk to. I never told you this, but I love you Danny. I should have told you sooner, before you died and I know that perhaps if I hadn't acted like such a bitch to you, then I would actually been able to get to know you better. I wish that I had, I listen to the others talk about you nowadays and I'm mostly surprised by some of the things that they say about you."
I looked around Danny's grave reminisce of all the times that I could have told him what I felt. I gulp and wipe away some of the tears. "I miss you Danny, I don't know what I'm going to do without you."
I kneel down and touch the headstone, I lay the flowers next to the photograph of him and then I stand up. I take one last look at the headstone, "I love you Danny," I whisper before walking away.
Daniel Jack McCoy
September 29 1973- May 5 2005
Loved in memories
THE END