ER Snippet 3: Girl on a Tightrope
"Kerry, I am fine! I do not have an anger management problem, I do not need to see a psychiatrist, and I would appreciate it if you would just get off my back and let me work." Luka stormed off, leaving Weaver to mull in surprise over his uncharacteristic outburst. She had not been overly concerned with the news of Luka and Sam's breakup, nor the gossip surrounding the pair until Abby had approached her a week ago with concern over the man. She thought back to Luka's behavior over the past month or two, and realized that she had consciously ignored a lot of it mainly because the hospital staff were already engulfed in too many problems, and frankly she did not have the energy to deal with another one. Plus, Kovac was a well-respected physician and it would be a huge blow to the hospital if they lost him, especially since he could easily find another position elsewhere.
Abby bit at her thumbnail nervously. She had come back from lunch a little earlier than usual because of a sinking feeling in her stomach that something was going to go awfully wrong. She quickly ducked behind the corner as Luka walked in forceful strides away from Kerry. From the looks on both of their faces, she knew the exchange could not have been very pleasant. She remembered trying to talk to Luka earlier about his attitude at work a while back and it had not gone over well at all. In fact, he had been downright livid. The incident continued to burn in the back of her mind.
She could still recall all of his words to her: "I don't see what business it is of yours to question what I'm doing for my patients! You are the resident and I'm the attending physician in the room, or are you confused about what position you play in this hospital?" His tone of voice dripped with sarcasm and she clenched her hands tightly into balled fists, continually reminding herself that it wouldn't make things any better if she strangled him.
Abby tried to speak as calmly as possible despite his thinly veiled insults. "Just because I'm a resident doesn't give you permission to ignore me. When your decision affects the care of the patient and you won't even allow me to voice my opinions, I think I have every right to talk to another doctor who actually values them! You won't listen to me, you won't listen to anybody Luka! You are being a complete ass towards everyone and I'm sorry if your pride's hurt, I'm sorry that you got dumped by Sam, but you can't stand here and preach to me about how I let emotions rule over my judgement when you're doing the same exact thing!" She could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on and what patience she had left for Luka was rapidly vanishing.
Luka's face darkened, and he exclaimed harshly, "Leave my personal life out of this! It has nothing to do with my relationship, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you. His voice increased in volume until he was practically shouting at her. "Maybe you'd like me to repeat that once more just so we're clear. Stop interfering with my life!"
He pushed past her furiously and stalked outside leaving her stunned, not knowing how things had gotten so totally out of hand. Fortunately, it had been a slow night and there weren't too many onlookers left to witness their all too public display of volatile emotions. Wearily, she slumped her shoulders in resignation and turned towards the front desk to clock out for the night. Abby was at a loss. She honestly didn't know what to do anymore. If it had just been about the way he was treating her, she would have for the most part been able to suck it up and ignore him, but she could see that he was heading straight into disaster. Sure, it was only Carter and Pratt who were speaking out initially and Weaver would most likely disregard both of their complaints, chalking it up to previous grudges against Luka, or some idiotic manly ritual of posturing, but even Susan and Chen seemed wary of him these days although they both remained silent on the issue.
She tried to think of who she could ask for advice. It wasn't exactly an easy task. She needed someone in a position of authority over Luka, but who also had in mind his best interests and was someone who had absolutely no intention of jeopardizing his future at the hospital by tattling to the board. Abby briefly attempted to ask Susan's opinion while leaving out any conflicts that had occurred between herself and Luka, but even to her own ears it sounded a bit hollow and unconvincing. She knew deep down that he needed help—possibly even counseling , and that whatever he was going through was obviously affecting his job, but either everyone else was ignoring Luka's problems too, or they simply couldn't be bothered to take up the matter with Kerry.
Well, she couldn't really blame them. It wasn't as though she was trying that hard to involve Kerry either. She was really just waiting around hoping that things were going to change for the better. So, Abby tried once more to forget the tension between her and Luka until the next inevitable blowup occurred. He had apologized to her of course, but the situation was a lot worse than before. Now most of the nurses were openly frustrated about Luka's cold behavior towards them, and they were also threatening to circulate another petition, only this time they wanted to bypass Weaver and go straight to management, who might actually find a reason to dismiss him. They viewed him as somewhat of a maverick much like Dr. Ross was during his years at County.
Shaking herself out of the memory of Luka's extreme anger, Abby paused and looked up, forgetting too quickly who she had been avoiding all this while. "Shit", she hissed under her breath. He'd be sure to see her from this angle. If he turned his head even the slightest of angles, he'd be staring directly at her. Her heart began beating a little more quickly, and she forced herself to calm down. After all, he might not know that she was the one who had told Weaver, right? No. Abby shook her head resolutely. She was not going to be a coward. She was going to face him and tell him why she had gone to Weaver. He deserved to know her reasons, and if it cost her his friendship then she would deal with the consequences. But, she trusted she'd done the right thing, and she fervently believed in her heart that as mad as Luka was going to be, he was not an irrational or unforgiving person by nature (thank god), and when he calmed down enough to listen to her, he might even be able to see things from her point of view. Okay, well maybe that part was stretching the truth a teeny bit..