Carly-chan: Hey guys…um this is my first fan fiction that I've ever done so um…please tell me if anybody is OOC um…reviews would be great um…I will give anybody who reviews some…uh…candy everybody likes candy right!….good Nice criticisms are greatly appreciated please no flames uh so onto the disclaimer Oh wait I just want to tell you this won't be an ongoing fic it will probably only be about 4 chapters but they are pretty long and that's why I'm posting them as chapters so now onto the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: I do not own shaman King or any of it's characters, I wish I did but never will. The only characters I do own are Heala May and …uh that other shaman guy who comes in a later part that I haven't given a name yet. Well anyway here's the story please enjoy!

All to make you smile

Chapter 1

I gathered all of my strength and ran over to him that day. I asked if I could take a picture, nervously clutching my camera in my hands. He responded 'Why didn't you just take it and go?' I told him with a kind smile on my face that I thought it'd be rude. He then asked me if I was just another fan girl searching for his love, but I replied; 'No, I search for no more than friendship from you at this moment.' I then asked my question again and he nodded slightly. As I took my picture his expression was his usual frown that frown that I had observed on that face for months. On that day I promised myself that someday, Tao Ren, I would, if even for just a second, change that expression of yours into a smile.

In the months that passed I found the strength to talk to Tao Ren. I got to talk to him a few times, it wasn't so much finding the strength to talk to him anymore, it was more a matter of finding the time to talk to him. I would always just get a short bit of conversation in before he either grew tired of my cheerful tone and smile that I used when I talked to people or he would be dragged away by a horde of fan girls, I can never forget the sheer look of horror that comes across his face as he hears them chatter about the things that they will do to him, provided he doesn't get away. He always gets away however, he may be small but he is fast and very smart, he could easily out-run the girls or at the very least outsmart them. After he got away from the girls nearly each day I was pretty sure he headed home, since I hadn't a clue where his home was I wouldn't have another chance to talk to him until the next day.

As I lay there in my bed that night simply thinking about my day a pain shot through me, or rather it was more of a longing and at that moment I realized how much it pained me to be away from that boy, that boy Tao Ren. I couldn't understand why either. I hated guys for my own personal reasons, boys of this time were idiots all of them. "He's a guy" I mumbled. "He's a jerk just like the rest of them; he probably doesn't care about anything with real meaning. Tao Ren… a jerk like all the rest."

"Is that true? What if he isn't like the rest? " Came the strong yet somehow soothing words of Heala, my powerful ancient priestess spirit ally.

"Why wouldn't he be like the rest?" my tone was calm and questioning yet I was on the verge of anger, this topic sometimes angered me.

"It's because…" She paused as if trying to figure out exactly how to tell me, as if this news might shatter my heart but still I wanted to know it, even if it did shatter my heart.

"Because what?" I questioned pushing her to tell me.

"It's because he is like you." she said quickly yet she never lost the soothing tone of her voice.

"Like me in what way?" I questioned her again my tone developing an edge to it. "Is he lost in this world that is choked by people who can't, no, won't understand. This world where human interaction means so little to them now that they have computers and electronics to occupy them, do you think they would care if they ever saw another human being again so long as they could still talk to them on the internet? Does he feel or see things that cause him to be shunned by others if he were ever to let them know about it? So tell me is he like me?" By the end of my rant I had lost my calm and anger had taken control, within a few moments I was able to become my usual calm self again though. Heala waited until I was myself again before she continued.

"Yes my dear girl, don't you see he is like you. He has a hatred for those people as well he can barely manage to stand them, have you not noticed how angry he is all of the time? He hates the way the world is now and the fools who make it that way." She paused for a moment giving me time to recover from my shock.

"It's really true isn't it?" I mumbled just before my calm returned

"Yes it is. May I ask you something my darling girl?" Heala asked me softly.

"Yes you may." I responded.

"Why is it that you hate guys of this time so much? Why do you think that guys from a different time are any better than the men nowadays?" This question took me off guard, which it shouldn't have, I should have known that she would start to wonder why it was that I felt this hatred and eventually she would ask. I had no doubt in my mind that she deserved to know. After all she had been my only friend and she had been there with me since I could remember.

"Well…" I paused. "I suppose I could tell you… Yes I will tell you." I looked over at her, she nodded, a sign for me too keep going. "As for guys of this age and not guys of another age, guys in this age are just jerks, they seem to have gotten stupider and disrespectful, when I look back into history I see the oh so proper and rather smart people of France, the amazing people of Asia who fight for their honor and respect, they stick to their morals and beliefs. Then you have the people of today, mainly the guys some of the girls are okay. They are slobs all they think are dirty thoughts, they're rude and annoying they have no respect for anyone and they barely seem to have respect for themselves if they could bare to act like that in public." I paused looking back over at Heala, she was thinking, thinking back to her time and comparing it with what she knew of my time.

I sighed, closing my eyes as I paused for a moment. "There is another reason." I looked over to her she had perked up when she had heard that I was not finished and that there was more. "Would you like to hear it?" I questioned, I was afraid I had been rambling on and she would become bored of it.

"Please continue, I want to know about you my dear." She pushed on for me to continue, and so I did.

"It's because…" I paused trying to find the right words. "It's because they seem to be the source of all of my pain and suffering. There was a time in my life where I was very happy and I got close to many people, that was of course before I became a shaman. You know, when I was a little girl, very little, I was able to smile just for the sake of smiling not because I found something funny, I was as happy as I ever was then, I had friends, they weren't the type of friends everyone would have wanted me to have but I liked them I suppose. These friends of mine were all boys might I add, and they were sick minded and they did drugs sometimes, typical teenage boys of this time eh?" I paused looking over at her seeing her nod in agreement I continued.

"However those friends of mine, I lost them. Soon we were all separated from each other and no one really tried to go back, we all just went on with our lives. I had never had much of a father, he was always off doing something important, always so busy. I had my Grandpa but he too left me, he is the one person that I have no hatred towards for leaving me, it was his time to go and he had done more than his share for this dying world, and not once had he asked for anything from the world, he helped it without even wanting anything in return. Every other boy that I got close to as a friend after that, well… my friendships with those boys would never last. They would become popular and then they couldn't hang out with someone like me anymore…a freak like me… no one can understand that I'm a shaman not a freak…especially not these boys." I paused. "So you see in the end each of these boys left me shattered, broken and lonely. So I stopped trying, I simply quit trying to give them the love that must now be buried deep within my heart and devoted myself completely to my school work and my training as a shaman.' I looked over to Heala who seemed to have tears welling up in her eyes.

'That was such a sad story' She paused. 'I think that I finally understand now.' She came over and hugged me, which made me feel good, but then I realized that my past was not my original thought.

"Now where were we?" I mumbled and then it hit me. "Oh yes of course Tao Ren!" I exclaimed. "I wanted to ask you something about him Heala." I paused looking over to her and waiting for her to confirm that she would tell me. "There is only one type of person in all of the world that has a description like that… like me. Tao Ren…is he" I paused not sure of how to word my question so I decided that I'd just be blunt about it. "Heala… could Tao Ren… could he be a shaman?"

"Yes my darling May you finally understand. Tao Ren is a shaman just as you are." She smiled at me, happy that I finally understood.

"It can't be…Tao Ren…Tao Ren you are…wow." I mumbled the look of shock and horror still on my face.

It seemed so weird to me, this concept that I had met another shaman and tried to befriend this person without even bothering to find out a thing about them, it shocked me much more that this shaman that I had tried to befriend was a guy. A guy. I say it again to make sure I heard myself clearly; I really did just say that I tried to befriend a guy, how very strange of me. Why could I not get this boy, Tao Ren, out of my mind, how had I not noticed that he was a shaman, personally I mask my own shamanic energy, could he be the same or is he really that much stronger than me. I got little sleep that night as I lay there in bed thinking of him, unable to sleep. A few moments after I had finally fallen asleep I had a dream about him, a rather cruel dream at that.

It was the shaman tournament, my opponent was him. Tao Ren was my opponent. We fought long and hard finally Ren went insane with the anger that he couldn't easily defeat me like the others, his insanity caught me a bit off guard, he was able to get a very good hit in on me, a decisive hit. I wouldn't go down easily though, I refused to. So I slashed for wherever I could, I slashed at his chest and died shortly after my body falling back and my spirit leaving it in the same moment. I watched as Tao Ren died before me, I watched as he bled to death, his gasps lost amongst my screams and sobs.

'Ren! Ren I never meant to kill you! Ren I'm so sorry please forgive me! I truly would never have wanted to hurt you…because…' My sobs became uncontrollable but finally I was able to say it. 'Because I loved you Tao Ren! I still love you!' My shout was the only thing that could be heard, his gasping had stopped and I could feel that his spirit had left his body, I looked around. He wasn't there, he spirit had gone far away from this place, he must've hated me.

My eyes snapped open as I awoke with a startle gasping for air, my breath rigid. "What a horrible dream." I mumbled "That was a dream right, this isn't one of those things when I will have a dream, wake up and be told it really happened, it couldn't have been real…I don't love Tao Ren do I? I don't think I do, do I?" I decided that since I was wide-awake anyway I might as well stay up. I took a nice long bath and then got ready for school, although I still had about and hour left before I had to go to school. I decided I'd go for a walk then I'd go to school so I grabbed my school bag and headed out. As I walked I saw Tao Ren. I went over to him and said hello.

"What are you doing out here this early?" he asked me.

I wanted to ask him the same question but I didn't want to seem nosy and I thought that not answering and asking him the same thing might seem childish to someone like him. Someone like him? What was I talking about, we are the same. That was vividly pointed out to me the previous night. I'd better reply to him before I get lost in thoughts and he gets mad.

"Um…well… I was up so I figured I'd go out for a walk before I headed to school… I like this time of day, it's early and there aren't many people or cars or any of those noisy modern things." Heala had told me that he was like me, that he had a hatred for those humans just as I did. Perhaps I could start up a conversation with him using that.

"Modern things?" He questioned. "Do you not like modern things?"

"No I don't like them, they are noisy and most of them harm more than they help, they pollute our world.'

Ren seemed shocked at this for a moment, I suppose no one would have expected words so deep and backed with hatred, that I was almost positive he noticed. No one would have expected words of that sort from a normally kind and sweet girl like me.

"Your not who you appear to be are you Mei?" My name rolling off of his lips like that was so beautiful, the way he said my name this first time was so wonderful. Come to think of it that really was the first time he had called me by my name, and what was I doing having thoughts like that about him, he was my friend. Those words from my dreams started to echo through my mind; 'Because I love you Tao Ren!'

"Your right Tao Ren I'm not who I appear to be. For me it's like a mirror that hides my core, my true self."

"A mirror?" He questioned, the tone of his voice told me that he wanted an explanation.

"Yes Ren a mirror. A shield of glass around my core, but not just glass a mirror that takes my soul and reflects it into a different light, so my pain or hatred is reflected into happiness and cheer.' I smiled, this was weird for me, why did I trust him with the information that I wasn't who everyone thought I was? "Tao Ren you are the first person besides Heala that I have told about my mirror. Oh and Ren, Heala and I think that you also are not who you appear to be. We know about you Tao Ren, but don't worry we won't tell."

At that I winked teasingly at him and walked past him, headed off towards school. He seemed a bit shocked at me mentioning that I knew about him, and the entire idea of who Heala was seemed to confuse and aggravate him a bit too. I decided that it would be better to leave him confused like that. I thought that since now he knew that I wasn't the cheerful, kind and sweet girl he thought I was that he should also know that sometimes I like to toy with people a bit.

The shaman tournament preliminaries had finally started, we had already gone through the first match and Ren still didn't know that I was a shaman, much less competition of his in the tournament. Of course I secretly watched Ren's first fight. I had arrived just after the match had begun as to make sure that he was caught up in his fight already and wouldn't notice me. I sat on the branch of a tree partially covered by the other branches and the leaves of the tree. I watched him with a sort of love in my eyes, but could it really be true that I loved him? It had been a few months since this thought had occurred to me for the first time so I had been pondering it for quite a while. As I watched him I thought to myself; What if he doesn't love you? What if you are rejected? As I pondered I also watched as Ren won his fight, quickly disappearing when I knew that victory was ensured to make sure that when I left he was still enough caught up in his match so that he wouldn't notice me leaving as to not give away any hint that I had ever been there in the first place.

I too won my first fight, but I won't flatter myself about it. A few days later I decided to remind Tao Ren just a little bit more of what I knew about him, maybe by this time he may have figured out exactly what it was that I knew. So after school that day, which was the only time I had to talk to him in a good conversation, although I wish it wasn't because that was when the fan girls of his always carried out whatever plans they had to try to get him to be theirs yet again. I knew of most of their plans just because I was quiet and they weren't afraid to discuss things of that sort around me, they knew I wouldn't tell anyone, I had no one to tell.

Since I knew their plans and that it was just common knowledge that they would attack the first chance they got I tried to be quick at my locker and get down to where I would meet Ren as soon as I possibly could. I had this all planned out for the most part, I had even planned where the fan girls came. The moment I saw him coming I ran over to him "Hello Ren." I said calmly.

"Hello." he grunted in the way that Ren does, always so mad Ren, don't worry I'm here to change that, I have vowed to do so at the cost of my life. At the cost of my life huh… would you be sad if I were to die Ren? Would it faze you at all to lose me? There I went again nearly getting lost in my thoughts, I had to respond to Ren quickly or he would grow irritated with me, I already had little time to do this.

I leaned in close to him and whispered. "Ren I know something about you that most do not, I know what it is that you hide from the normal people here at school.'" I looked up to see a look of slight surprise and what seemed to be a questioning look, perhaps something along the lines of does she really know? Or maybe how could she know?

"What do you mean?" he questioned a bit frustrated with me telling him for the second time that I knew something about him most did not. I could hear that the fan girls were coming, they would soon stage their attacks and Ren would be taken away from me before we could finish our conversation. I knew that this would anger Ren and I knew myself well enough that I would surely wait a while before bringing the subject up again which would frustrate Ren a lot. I had taken the fan girls attacking into consideration and decided to make it a part of my plan though. As the fan girls got closer I quickly took Ren's hand and placed a slip of paper into his hand that had the address of where I was staying on it.

"Come here once you escape the fan girls which I expect will be fairly soon as always." I winked at him. "I will explain everything once you get there." He nodded and I stepped slightly out of the way as the fan girls came, I whispered a nearly silent goodbye and then headed home.

As I walked I thought about how our conversation went, perfect, just as I planned it. No that wasn't really true, it hadn't gone exactly as I planned, I hadn't planned to wink at him. What was that wink all about anyway? I pondered this thought the whole way home but once I reached the door of the apartment that I had rented for Heala and me I gathered my thoughts again. This apartment wasn't too bad in size, I didn't like it's location though, we were high up and I could see the stars well but once I looked down at the ground I saw the horrible shopping districts and crowded streets that I hated so.

When I walked through the door I saw Heala sitting on the couch, she smiled and got up when she saw me. "Ren's coming over." I mumbled as I put my bag down in the small closet near my room, normally I would have just thrown it into my room but I was having company, not just company Tao Ren was coming over, I couldn't have him thinking that I just throw my things anywhere. What were these thoughts? I didn't care what he thought of what my house looked like, I was his friend it wouldn't matter what my house looked like.

"Ren?" I heard Heala say. "Tao Ren?" she questioned.

"Yes he's coming over, he should be here soon I think, maybe about ten minutes."

"But why is he coming here?"

"I'm going to tell him, I'll tell him everything. Um… Heala could you um… please not be in plain sight when he gets here, I don't want him to see you right away and jump to some sort of strange conclusion, I want to tell him myself. I'll tell him everything." My tone was mellow perhaps cold, and very focused. Heala hated when I got like this, my mind would enter what seemed to bee another realm and I would talk of things that were either nonsense or things that I hadn't even known of.

"He'll be here soon." I mumbled, how had I known that, this was the affect of my current state of mind. When Heala heard that she became even more determined to get me out of that state, I'm not sure how she managed to do it but she did and she did it with the best of timing. She got me out of that just moments before we heard a knock at the door, no doubt it was Ren.

I wasn't quite sure how I came out of my trance and I was a bit unsure of what had happened towards the end of it but I remember that when I awoke I was kneeling down and Heala was in front of me, she had her hands on my shoulders as if she had been shaking me. She was happy that I was back to normal as I could tell by the big smile on her face. As soon as we heard the knock on the door we both jerked our heads towards it quickly, stared at it for a moment and then looked back to each other. I gave her a look that said to quickly hide and I think that she understood because she went and hid, and she did it quickly.