Carter waylaid Susan halfway to the lounge. He opened his mouth to speak, then seemed to change his mind. Maybe he was waiting for her to say something. He followed her in.
Susan poured herself a cup of coffee, then held up the pot. "You want the dregs?" Carter shook his head, still silent. "I should probably take them myself. The grounds are the closest thing I'm going to get to lunch today, I think."
"How's Luka?" Abrupt.
"Holding on." Susan took the can of coffee out of the cupboard to start a fresh pot.
"What happened?"
"Massive PE. He's pretty bad, but stable for the moment. I started TPA, so if he can hang on until it lyses the clot, he should make it."
"Good." Carter looked like he wished he had a cup of coffee in his hands. Anything to occupy them. He seemed to be searching for what to say next. Finally, "I guess he was lucky that Abby was there." He looked at Susan for a moment, then away again.
"Carter, if you want to know what's going on with Abby and Luka, you'll have to ask Abby. Or Luka." It wasn't hard to guess what he was really asking.
"I'm not jealous. I'm glad ... I'm glad they have each other to rely on right now."
"Then maybe you should lose the 'whipped puppy' look. It isn't becoming."
A wry smile. "Is it that obvious?"
"I was beginning to wonder if it was tattooed on. Or maybe it was one of those Greek theater masks."
"They're spending a lot of time together." It wasn't a question.
Susan just shrugged, continued to busy herself with the coffee. She wasn't, to be quite honest, quite sure herself what was happening with Luka and Abby. And she wasn't going to try to guess out loud. At least not in front of Carter.
"Come on, Susan. She's staying with you and you're good friends. She must have told you something."
"She isn't staying with me anymore. She moved out at the beginning of the week."
"She's back home?"
"Talk to her, Carter!"
"I will. This isn't exactly the best time for it though."
"No, it isn't," Susan agreed.
"I'm not stupid," Carter said quickly. "I know we've been having a lot of problems, and I know that we're ... done. I just wish ...." He shook his head.
"It wasn't Luka?" she suggested with a smile, finishing her coffee.
"No! That it had been under different circumstances. I don't want either of us to be left with the feeling that ... I dropped her when things got rough. And I don't want other people to think that either."
Another smile, one without much humor in it. "They won't. I think everyone knows that she dropped you, Carter." Susan dropped her cup in the trash. "Talk to her," she said again. "Figure out where you stand." She returned to the trauma room.
The monitor readings were unchanged, as was the worried look on Abby's face.
"How is he?"
"He's starting to open his eyes. But still no response to verbal commands," Yosh said quietly. "ICU has a bed when we're ready for it."
"Good." She leaned over Luka, didn't resist the sudden urge to brush a strand of hair from his face. "Luka!" Again, the slight flutter of his lashes. "Come on, Luka, open your eyes. It's Susan. I need to talk to you ... about a patient." Another slight fluttering, then they opened, gazed dully in her general direction for a moment, then closed again.
"That's the best he can do," Abby whispered. Her voice was calm and steady, but there was no question that she'd been crying.
Susan put a reassuring smile back on her face. "And it's the best we can expect right now. He's sedated for the vent, he's getting some pain meds. He's really doing very well." An exaggeration, but he was still stable. He was no worse. They couldn't expect him to get much better until the TPA had done it's job.
"And he was deprived of oxygen," Abby said, still quietly, interrupting Susan's optimistic words and thoughts.
"Not for very long. It shouldn't have any long term ..."
"You were right," Abby interrupted again. "I shouldn't have left him. I'm supposed to be looking after him."
"You couldn't be there every minute. I'm sure you had things ..."
"I didn't! It wasn't anything important. I didn't have to go out." Abby shook her head and lowered her voice a little. Setting down Luka's hand she took a few steps away from bed. Susan knew she didn't want to disturb or upset him if he could hear. "I shouldn't have left him. And I should have noticed something. He just hasn't been getting better as fast as he should. He's been so tired; I didn't push him to get up and move around as much as he should ... as much as I should. If he'd been more active ..."
"This probably would have still happened," Susan said firmly.
"You don't know that."
"And you can't say for sure that it wouldn't have. Abby, let's stop with all the 'if only's' and 'I should have's' and concentrate on what we know. Which is that he's doing well. He's stable, he'll be starting to improve soon. I think he's going to get through this."
A sound from the bed. Luka was stirring a little. The first spontaneous movement they'd seen since he'd been brought in. Abby was back there in a moment, holding his hand, calling his name. He was trying to open his eyes. Looking at the monitor, Susan saw that his sats were starting to come up. His heart beat was more regular. He made faint sounds in his throat as he tried to fight the vent. And Susan breathed a little easier herself. The clot was starting to break up. Abby was still calling his name, blinking back tears of relief.
Luka's eyes finally opened. He focused his gaze on Abby, who smiled at him. He looked at Susan for a moment, then back at Abby.
"Luka? Can you hear me?" Susan said. He nodded, but didn't take his eyes from Abby. "Do you know where you are?" Another nod. "Are you in any pain?" A moment's thought, then a slow shake of the head. "Good. We're going to leave the tube in place for a little while longer. You're going upstairs to the ICU soon. You'll be extubated there, as soon as we're sure you're breathing well on your own."
"You gave us quite a scare," Abby said, her voice shaking a little behind the smile. "But you're going to be fine."
Luka nodded again slowly and tried to smile back at Abby. Susan saw his grip tighten a little on her hand.Then he closed his eyes and went back to sleep, still clutching Abby's hand.
Susan poured herself a cup of coffee, then held up the pot. "You want the dregs?" Carter shook his head, still silent. "I should probably take them myself. The grounds are the closest thing I'm going to get to lunch today, I think."
"How's Luka?" Abrupt.
"Holding on." Susan took the can of coffee out of the cupboard to start a fresh pot.
"What happened?"
"Massive PE. He's pretty bad, but stable for the moment. I started TPA, so if he can hang on until it lyses the clot, he should make it."
"Good." Carter looked like he wished he had a cup of coffee in his hands. Anything to occupy them. He seemed to be searching for what to say next. Finally, "I guess he was lucky that Abby was there." He looked at Susan for a moment, then away again.
"Carter, if you want to know what's going on with Abby and Luka, you'll have to ask Abby. Or Luka." It wasn't hard to guess what he was really asking.
"I'm not jealous. I'm glad ... I'm glad they have each other to rely on right now."
"Then maybe you should lose the 'whipped puppy' look. It isn't becoming."
A wry smile. "Is it that obvious?"
"I was beginning to wonder if it was tattooed on. Or maybe it was one of those Greek theater masks."
"They're spending a lot of time together." It wasn't a question.
Susan just shrugged, continued to busy herself with the coffee. She wasn't, to be quite honest, quite sure herself what was happening with Luka and Abby. And she wasn't going to try to guess out loud. At least not in front of Carter.
"Come on, Susan. She's staying with you and you're good friends. She must have told you something."
"She isn't staying with me anymore. She moved out at the beginning of the week."
"She's back home?"
"Talk to her, Carter!"
"I will. This isn't exactly the best time for it though."
"No, it isn't," Susan agreed.
"I'm not stupid," Carter said quickly. "I know we've been having a lot of problems, and I know that we're ... done. I just wish ...." He shook his head.
"It wasn't Luka?" she suggested with a smile, finishing her coffee.
"No! That it had been under different circumstances. I don't want either of us to be left with the feeling that ... I dropped her when things got rough. And I don't want other people to think that either."
Another smile, one without much humor in it. "They won't. I think everyone knows that she dropped you, Carter." Susan dropped her cup in the trash. "Talk to her," she said again. "Figure out where you stand." She returned to the trauma room.
The monitor readings were unchanged, as was the worried look on Abby's face.
"How is he?"
"He's starting to open his eyes. But still no response to verbal commands," Yosh said quietly. "ICU has a bed when we're ready for it."
"Good." She leaned over Luka, didn't resist the sudden urge to brush a strand of hair from his face. "Luka!" Again, the slight flutter of his lashes. "Come on, Luka, open your eyes. It's Susan. I need to talk to you ... about a patient." Another slight fluttering, then they opened, gazed dully in her general direction for a moment, then closed again.
"That's the best he can do," Abby whispered. Her voice was calm and steady, but there was no question that she'd been crying.
Susan put a reassuring smile back on her face. "And it's the best we can expect right now. He's sedated for the vent, he's getting some pain meds. He's really doing very well." An exaggeration, but he was still stable. He was no worse. They couldn't expect him to get much better until the TPA had done it's job.
"And he was deprived of oxygen," Abby said, still quietly, interrupting Susan's optimistic words and thoughts.
"Not for very long. It shouldn't have any long term ..."
"You were right," Abby interrupted again. "I shouldn't have left him. I'm supposed to be looking after him."
"You couldn't be there every minute. I'm sure you had things ..."
"I didn't! It wasn't anything important. I didn't have to go out." Abby shook her head and lowered her voice a little. Setting down Luka's hand she took a few steps away from bed. Susan knew she didn't want to disturb or upset him if he could hear. "I shouldn't have left him. And I should have noticed something. He just hasn't been getting better as fast as he should. He's been so tired; I didn't push him to get up and move around as much as he should ... as much as I should. If he'd been more active ..."
"This probably would have still happened," Susan said firmly.
"You don't know that."
"And you can't say for sure that it wouldn't have. Abby, let's stop with all the 'if only's' and 'I should have's' and concentrate on what we know. Which is that he's doing well. He's stable, he'll be starting to improve soon. I think he's going to get through this."
A sound from the bed. Luka was stirring a little. The first spontaneous movement they'd seen since he'd been brought in. Abby was back there in a moment, holding his hand, calling his name. He was trying to open his eyes. Looking at the monitor, Susan saw that his sats were starting to come up. His heart beat was more regular. He made faint sounds in his throat as he tried to fight the vent. And Susan breathed a little easier herself. The clot was starting to break up. Abby was still calling his name, blinking back tears of relief.
Luka's eyes finally opened. He focused his gaze on Abby, who smiled at him. He looked at Susan for a moment, then back at Abby.
"Luka? Can you hear me?" Susan said. He nodded, but didn't take his eyes from Abby. "Do you know where you are?" Another nod. "Are you in any pain?" A moment's thought, then a slow shake of the head. "Good. We're going to leave the tube in place for a little while longer. You're going upstairs to the ICU soon. You'll be extubated there, as soon as we're sure you're breathing well on your own."
"You gave us quite a scare," Abby said, her voice shaking a little behind the smile. "But you're going to be fine."
Luka nodded again slowly and tried to smile back at Abby. Susan saw his grip tighten a little on her hand.Then he closed his eyes and went back to sleep, still clutching Abby's hand.