Disclaimer: Neither Ranma ½, nor Ah Megami Sama are mine. They belong to their respective owners, got it?

RANDOM RANMA

Chapter three: Ranma's wish

A beautiful day in Nerima. The sun shines in the sky; birds fly worriessly everywhere, an absolute air of calmness and tranquility hover in the air. Something is definitively not right.

As every citizen of this district knows, whenever things are this calm, disaster is bound to happen.

"RANMA NO BAKA!!!"

The all familiar scream and the visage of a pigtailed form sailing trough the air calmed everyone. Ranma already had problems; nothing new would seek him this time around.

But not everyone was content with the usual predicament. Of course Ranma didn't like being hammered back and forth every time some one decided that it would be a good idea, especially when the attacker was any of his fiancées, and even more especially if it was Akane who hit him.

"Stupid uncute tomboy… why did she hit me this time? I mean, Ukyo and Shampoo always fight over me to see who will give me lunch during school's break; and as almost always Kuno decides to challenge me in the most inappropriate time, just like Mousse, Ryoga, Tarou, yadda, yadda, and yadda. Why did she hit me?" Mused aloud Ranma as he flew away and landed in a pool.

"Great! Just great! It ALWAYS has to be water! Why can't I land in a mine field for a change?" Grumbled the now female Ranma.

Walking in the general direction of her house, the pigtailed girl entered in a tea house. "Good afternoon lady, what could we do for you?" Asked the friendly clerk.

Rummaging trough her pockets Ranma smiled, she had enough money. "Could you please give me hot water?"

The clerk was confused. "Hot water? Don't you mean tea?"

Ranma put the coins over the balcony. "No, just hot water. Look, although I'm paying for the tea, just forget the herbs and bring me the water ok?"

After the clerk went to the kitchen, Ranma patiently waited her return with a steaming cup. "Here it is young lady. But since it's just a cup of water, let's make this one in the house."

"Wow, really thanks!" Beamed Ranma. Even those few cents where hard to have with Nabiki looming near her. Putting the money back on her pocket, Ranma unceremoniously poured the water over herself, becoming a he. "Well, I gotta go, see ya!" Said him leaving the tea house. The clerk just stood there blinking several times, staring at the door in which Ranma went, while a lot of other clients tried to snap her out of that state of shock.

AVAVAVAV

During the night, Ranma finally returned to the dojo, he entered it only to notice that he was alone. Looking at the dining room, he found a note over the table.

Dear Ranma,

I'm deeply sorry that there's no one here to keep you company, but we all went to the theatre. It seems Nabiki owned some debts with them and for payment she gained some tickets. Since you never arrived in time, we went without you, but don't worry. Without anyone noticing, I left some money in the cookie's jar for you to call some delivery. I know it's not enough to satisfy you, but it was all I could leave without raising suspicion.

Have a nice evening,

Kasumi.

Ranma smiled and thanked heaven for this girl. She was the only person on earth that had ever being nice to him, well, that he could remember. Taking the money, he counted it. "Ok, not enough to eat half of what I'm used, but at least I won't starve!" Thought him seeking the phone. "Hmm… okonomiyaki is out of question, at this time Uchan's is already closed… ramen? Better not, if Shampoo arrives here and finds no one she would get the wrong idea. Besides, even if that's not the case, someone is bound to arrive while she's here and then jump into conclusions; don't wanna be malleted again…so what would I call?"

Taking the family phone list, Ranma looked for the restaurant section and randomly choose one. "Guess this will have to do!" Nothing even looking at where he was calling, Ranma carelessly dialed the number.

"Moji, moji. Goddess Relief Office!" Came the cheerful female voice from the other side of the line.

"Yeah, yeah, hello to you too. What can I get with three thousand yen?" Obviously, tact was something Ranma really lacked.

"Please, wait a minute and one of our attendants will soon be with you." Said the voice again and the line went dead.

"HEY! I want my food, get back here! Hello? Hello?" Said Ranma evidently annoyed. He abruptly stopped when his danger senses told his someone was trying to sneak behind him. Turning back with a lighting fast kick, Ranma stopped his foot centimeters away from the face a beautiful girl, who barely had time to cringe.

When nothing happened, the girl opened her eyes to see Ranma returning his leg into place. "Err… sorry 'bout that, I thought it was someone trying to ambush me…" Said him obviously very embarrassed.

She smiled. "Oh, my. Well, there's no problem, we know about your life! And that's exactly why you've earned a wish."

Counting his past experiences with wishes and stuff, Ranma became weary, this still could be bad. Giving a good look at his companion, he stated that she was a gorgeous young woman with long peanut butter hair and sparkling blue eyes, and she was half inside the mirror… HALF INSIDE THE MIRROR?!!!

With a quick punch, the mirror was shattered and the girl was propelled out of there. "Alright Miss. Now you're free. I don't know how some one trapped you inside that mirror but it won't be a problem anymore." Boasted Ranma.

"Oh no, I wasn't trapped there. Mirrors are my way of traveling." Said her.

Predictable, the young Saotome was confused. "How come?"

"Well, let me do this rightly. Greetings mortal, I'm Belldandy, a megami."

Ranma was starting to fell nervous. A megami in front of him could mean only one thing. Heavens were out for revenge against him for killing Saffron. "Err… and what do you want?"

"Since you're a mortal so pure of heart and has a life so perilous, you are one of those few that are gifted with a wish so your life can be better. You can wish just about anything! Just say what you want! No strings attached."

Ranma stopped to think about what she said. "Yeah… my life is really hell. Psychotic fiancées, psychotic rivals, more fiancées, more rivals…and even more fiancées…" After some contemplation, the pigtailed wonder finally decided. "Well Miss Belldandy… All I wanted was to have a little peace in my life for once… hey, I know!" Straightening his voice, Ranma confidently said. "I wish to rest in piece for a while."

Belldandy made a little frown; she didn't like the wish this mortal made. But wishes are wishes…

BANG!!!

Ranma fell backwards, widened eyes in surprise and blood leaking from the bullet hole in his forehead. Belldandy blew away the smoke from her 38. "Well… rest in piece Ranma. Wish granted."

AVAVAVAV

Author's notes: Well, this was supposed to be funny. If you don't appreciate dark humor, well… sorry 'bout that.