Muggle Relations
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we *use* them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).
Chapter 2 - Welcome to Ibiza
Warning: Scary imagery. Proceed with caution. EXTREME Caution. Even we refuse to reread this chapter.
The following morning proceeded with a very organised Gryffindor group (bar the party pooper Hermione, and ever clueless Ron). Draco Malfoy was also very organised and was head of the Slytherin Line Up. Draco was closely followed by Blaise Zabini who had done some thorough research into the place overnight. You don't want to know what was in his trunk!! Or 'up' in his pants, for that matter!
Harry knew though, he went up to Blaise, "You know, you might want to take that tent pole down. I heard that a man passes out after having a day long erection. Better be careful, it's quite a long flight." Blaise blanched at this new development, whilst Draco proceeded to piss himself laughing and high-fived Harry. The two of them looked at each other strangely, blushed and walked off in opposite directions, leaving Blaise to wonder what had just happened, and that if Hell had just frozen over and he'd missed it. He then proceeded to look for Snape in a Tutu. That worked. He suppressed his moan of delight as imagined being able to look up Snape's skirt!
Speaking of the greasy haired bat, in bounced the man, somewhat.um.happy? I'm going to Ibiza, I'm going to Ibiza. People are looking at me happy! Shit! He resumed his dark demeanor.
Harry looked at his dreaded Potions Master, Why's he so happy? Oh, that's right, we're going to Ibiza and people don't know him there. He might get laid! FUCK! Disgusting images! Disgusting Images! Brain SHUT DOWN! ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! Warning: Danger, Danger, Danger Harry Potter! Draco in his boxers, Draco in his boxers. Pardon? Harry looked over at Draco and blushed his usual crimson. When did this start?? *DUH! The dreams you've had over the past two years dumbass!* Who asked you?!?!? *You did.* Oh shut up! (A/N: Anyone remember the mental arguments?).
"Gather round, seventh years!" Summoned Professor McGonagall. "Professor Dumbledore is waiting for you all on the Quidditch pitch to portkey us all to Heathrow Airport."
First to the Quidditch pitch was Harry and Draco with not a millisecond between them. A close second was another draw between Dean, Seamus and Blaise. Hermione lagged behind Professor McGonagall, still muttering at the unfairness of not being able to take books.
McGonagall looked sternly at her, "Get over it Hermione!" and she walked off to catch the others up.
Once Hermione had made it to the Quidditch pitch, everybody transported to the airport in pairs. Coincidentally, Harry and Draco were paired together. When they arrived at the terminal, they landed on the ground, tangled up in each other. "Morning Potter!"
"Aahh!" screamed Harry and he quickly scrambled away, only because of his growing arousal. After-all, they were in public!
"Jeez Potter, I need my hearing!!! You bloody girl!" Draco shook his head, in the vain attempt to retain some hearing.
"Yeah well.um.sorry." Harry quickly got to his feet and made his way over to the growing number of seventh year students, praying to God that no one had seen his brief interlude with the Slytherin Prince.
They checked in their luggage and made their way to the departure lounge. Harry perked up as he came to sit between Seamus and Dean.
"So Harry. What are you going to do when you get to Ibiza?"
"Don't know, Seamus. Bout you?" The three grinned at each other very widely!!!
"Girl, Guy or both?" Piped up Dean.
"Cross that bridge when I get to it I reckon Dean!" And the three laughed. Meanwhile, still across the lounge, Draco looked on jealously. What do they think they're doing? Flirting with my soon-to-be property? Grrrr! I'm gonna rip their balls off and then.
"This is for all passengers boarding British Airways Flight 69 to Madrid. Boarding has now commenced, could all passengers have their boarding passes ready and make their way to Gate 22. Thankyou."
"Come on Seventh Years. That's us!! This way please!" McGonagall pointed the students in the right direction. "Oh, Harry, can you please retrieve Miss Granger. And Draco Mr Zabini is trying to molest that flight attendant. Drag him over here please." Both boys went their way to retrieve their respected assignments.
"Blaise!! Guess what.there's a blonde flight attendant on the plane. If you're quick, you might still catch her!!!" His answer was a black blur bolting past him, and through various other passengers and Seventh Years.
"Come on Hermione. I heard that there's gonna be books on the plane."
"REALLY! Oh, I might be able to do my Charms homework!"
"But Herm, aren't the NEWTS over? Okay. Don't argue. At least she's on the plane." Harry mumbled.
"This is a final call for passengers flying on British Airways Flight 69 to Madrid. The aircraft is in it's final stage of boarding. Could Mr Harry Potter and Mr Draco Malfoy immediately make their way to Gate 22. This is the final call. Thankyou."
"Shite!!!!!!!!! Move it Malfoy!"
"Ladies first."
"Yeah, and arseholes last!"
"Bitch!" Malfoy stuck his finger up at him.
"Wait a minute, shouldn't ferrets be in the cargo hold?"
"Fuck you four-eyes!"
"Careful what you wish for. We're going to Ibiza remember."
"Oh I'm sorry boys, but it seems that the economy section is full, and unfortunately so is Business Class. I'll have to ask the captain if you would be allowed to travel in first class, please excuse me for a moment." The flight attendant disappeared upstairs.
"First Class?" Harry asked. He turned to Malfoy with a HUGE grin on his face.
"Whoa. Scary. Don't do that Potter. But still. SCORE!!!!!!"
The flight attendant returned. "The captain isn't too happy about the idea, but he said so long as you two boys behave yourselves, it should be fine. Right this way please."
They followed her to the upstairs section of first class and nearly died. They were greeted by huge arm chairs for seats with their own TV's, phones, tables.
Malfoy dived forward, "I get window seat!"
"Piss off you Albino Rat!" They scrambled for the window seat and both ended up sitting in it squished. The flight attendant looked at them sternly.
"Get off me Potter! I called window seat!"
Harry reluctantly pried himself from Draco's lap, but not before wriggling around in the seat he had on him.
"Ahem!" called the flight attendant. "Take your seat's now boys and put your seat belts on!" she growled sternly before taking up her position at the head of the cabin.
"So, Potter. What happens now?"
"You haven't been on a Plane before?"
"No, dumbass. Please, do remember my heritage. As if any Malfoy would willingly stoop to this level!"
"Well, oh deprived one. We're going to take off in a minute."
"Explain."
"The Plane will run along the runway, gather speed and eventually take off into the air."
"Like a broom?"
"Higher up. Couple of thousands of feet in the air. And it won't be as smooth either."
"Bloody muggles."
The plane taxied to the runway and the flight attendant displayed the safety procedures, scaring Draco shitless!
"You mean this thing could crash?" Draco was practically clinging Harry's arm.
"It's happened in the past, but I'm sure that it wont happen to us, it's VERY rare that something goes wrong." Harry patted Draco cautiously on the head.
"HEY! Watch the hair!" Draco smacked him upside.
"Hey easy!"
"DON'T touch the hair! EVER!"
The plane had reached the top of the runway and before Malfoy could continue in his lecturing of Harry Potter on the Matters Of Malfoy's Hair Care, he launched himself into Harry as the pilot put the peddle to the metal, so to speak. The engines roared and Malfoy found himself wrapped in Harry's arms as they were only travelling down the runway at 600 kilometres an hour.
Draco also found the ascent rather nauseating as he felt his brain had squashed to the back of his head. Slowly the sensation abated, and he realised his stomach was still back in the lounge.
"Ok, Potter. Not feeling well now. . . ." Malfoy moaned.
"Ewww!! Don't puke on me!!! The airsick bags are right in front of you! Use those! NO! NOT MY. grrr. Thanks Malfoy."
"Shut up Potter. Stop moaning. Bit of magic and it's gone." Draco pulled out his wand.
"Ahhh. HELLO MALFOY!!! We're in a muggle plane! Put the bloody wand away!!!" Harry whispered harshly.
"Too late!"
Harry looked around him, checking that no one had saw Malfoy using his wand. He sighed in relief as everyone around them was emersed in a book or the newspaper or something else rather boring.
It wasn't until the flight attendant brought their in-flight snacks that the two boys noticed that they were still locked in each other's arms.
She looked down at them with a raised eyebrow. "Umm. . .boys. . .your snacks?"
"Oh, right, thankyou." Said Harry as they removed themselves from each other, clearly unaware of their previous position.
"Your stomach settled down yet?"
"Shut up!"
An hour and forty-six minutes later, they had arrived in Madrid Airport, where Draco experienced the delights of 'Landing'!
"Harry! Where have you been??? We thought that you had missed the plane!" cried Hermione as she found them in the Arrivals lounge.
"Draco and I got first class seats."
"Draco?"
"Yeah, you know, Draco Malfoy. Slytherin Prefect, also known as the Slytherin Prince, Sex God."
"I know WHO he is, but why did you call him Draco?"
"It's his name."
"But since when have YOU used it?"
"Hey Harry!!! Where you been?" Ron turned up too late as always in the conversation.
"Oh, just a little place called First Class."
"Huh?"
"The really really really nice part of the plane."
"Yeah, with the ever love-to-hateable Malfoy." Hermione chipped in.
"BUGGER! Bet you that was hell!"
"Yep. Especially when he puked on me! That was interesting."
"Lovely. Thankyou for sharing that Harry." Hermione looked a little green.
"Considering that he puked right in my . . ."
Harry was interrupted as Professor McGonagall called all of the Seventh Years to her. "Now we must all make our way to Terminal 2, which is the Domestic Terminal so that we can transfer planes to Ibiza."
Dean and Seamus were waiting VERY patiently, my arse they were! They were gone in two seconds flat and claimed the two closest seats to the door.
Harry could hear Draco complaining behind him. "You complaining again Dray?"
"I have to go through all of that AGAIN!?!?!?!?"
"So long as you don't throw up all over me this time!"
"Didn't I tell you to shut up about that Harry!?"
"Yep, but you know I love to tease you!"
Harry and Draco had walked off towards the Departure Gate with Harry's arm around his shoulders. Hermione and Ron just looked at them as if Hell had been replaced with Antarctica.
Once on the plane, that was kinda crammed with other horny English people, not that any of them put together could rival that of Blaise Zabini. And there were a lot of blonde flight attendants showing the repercussions of his condition.
Then there was our dear Potions Master, Sevie Snape, sitting at the back of the plane, reading his latest "Potions Book", but WHAT was he actually reading? These are the questions we ask ourselves. . . . Cos he was sure getting a strange 'reaction' to a Potions book.
All the seventh years were chattering amicably to each other, except for two Gryffindors. Herm had found a book.
Ron wasn't happy. Now who was he going to ask when he had a question? 'Stuff it', he thought, as he stuck his head through the two chairs in front to speak to Dean and Seamus.
Bad choice.
"Hey Ronnikins!! What's 'up'?" The two Gryffindor's proceeded to piss themselves laughing.
The Weasley twins had decided to impart their knowledge to the remaining Gryffindors when leaving, of their favourite little brother's favourite little nickname.
"Hey." Ron growled. "Herm found a book."
"Ooohhh. You poor lad. Evidently, 'Nothing's' up then. . ." They chuckled as silently as they could (not very, even Snape looked up and scowled at the interruption).
"What? What are you talking about?" Said Ron, the ever STUPID Gryffindor.
Everyone on the plane pissed themselves at this question.
Even Snape, which scared many locals.
As they neared the airport, a tall sexy blond flight attendant came and spoke to Dumbledore. "Do you think that you could possibly wake up those two boys asleep over there. They really need to be awake for the descent."
"Awww, but they look so peaceful! But if you insist." Dumbledore rose from his chair, but it was a bit difficult as the space between the seats was rather limited, unlike in the Great Hall. Therefore, stumbling to the appointed seats, and after falling over many a student, he final reached his destination.
There was Harry and Draco, cuddled up together, fast asleep. They looked perfect snuggled up in the seats. Harry had his arms protectively wrapped around Draco as Draco had his head buried in Harry's chest.
Dumbledore nudged Harry, "Harry, time to wake up now, we're almost there."
"Huh, wha? No, Ron, five more minutes! Hermione can wait a bit longer, surely!"
Snape's turn: "POTTER! WAKE YOUR LAZY ARSE UP!"
That did it! Harry jumped sky high! Um. . .although he was already there. In the process he startled Draco.
"What the fuck? I was having a good dream! You, and you, and you were there!" He first pointed to Harry, then to Dumbledore and then lastly to Snape, "And you were the wicked witch!" Then he actually woke up and realised that it was Snape he was talking too. "I mean, wicked Wizard (cough)."
Snape just glared at Malfoy, whilst Draco just shrunk back down into Harry's chest, before realising what he was doing. The two looked at each other and the colour of their skin could beat the trademark Weasley hair hands down. So basically they were glowing crimson, just to clarify any confusion.
However, they do not move apart, just stared into each other's eyes.
Snape just walked off in disbelief. Bloody Ibiza! What's it doing to the world? Where's my book gone!?!? Snape stared in shock as he noticed that his beloved book was missing!
"WHICH ONE OF YOU LITTLE SHITS STOLE MY BOOK?????????????" He roared, absolutely PISSED!!!!! He looked around at the dead silent plane, until he heard Blaise.
"WOAH! Now that just can't be possible!"
Snape flew over to them, literally. "I assure you Mr Zabini, that position is entirely possible. Now could you kindly GIVE ME BACK MY BOOK YOU LITTLE THIEVES!!!!!!!!!!"
"Your book?" Asked Seamus and Dean in unison. They all but ditched the book at him, "I was wondering why that was sticky! Ewwww, Snape, that's not right!"
"Entirely possible you say. . . Care to demonstrate?" Blaise was answered with a whack upside the head, and Snape just stormed off, too disgusted to say anything more.
"The captain has switched on the 'Seatbelt Sign' as we are approaching Ibiza. Could all passengers please immediately return to their separate! seats," the flight attendant looked directly at Harry and Draco, who squirmed under her gaze, "and securely fasten your own," another glare, "seatbelts. Thankyou for flying with us today, we all hope that you 'enjoy' your stay in Ibiza. Have fun!" She switched off the intercom and disappeared out of sight.
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.
Rating: R
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we *use* them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).
Chapter 2 - Welcome to Ibiza
Warning: Scary imagery. Proceed with caution. EXTREME Caution. Even we refuse to reread this chapter.
The following morning proceeded with a very organised Gryffindor group (bar the party pooper Hermione, and ever clueless Ron). Draco Malfoy was also very organised and was head of the Slytherin Line Up. Draco was closely followed by Blaise Zabini who had done some thorough research into the place overnight. You don't want to know what was in his trunk!! Or 'up' in his pants, for that matter!
Harry knew though, he went up to Blaise, "You know, you might want to take that tent pole down. I heard that a man passes out after having a day long erection. Better be careful, it's quite a long flight." Blaise blanched at this new development, whilst Draco proceeded to piss himself laughing and high-fived Harry. The two of them looked at each other strangely, blushed and walked off in opposite directions, leaving Blaise to wonder what had just happened, and that if Hell had just frozen over and he'd missed it. He then proceeded to look for Snape in a Tutu. That worked. He suppressed his moan of delight as imagined being able to look up Snape's skirt!
Speaking of the greasy haired bat, in bounced the man, somewhat.um.happy? I'm going to Ibiza, I'm going to Ibiza. People are looking at me happy! Shit! He resumed his dark demeanor.
Harry looked at his dreaded Potions Master, Why's he so happy? Oh, that's right, we're going to Ibiza and people don't know him there. He might get laid! FUCK! Disgusting images! Disgusting Images! Brain SHUT DOWN! ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! Warning: Danger, Danger, Danger Harry Potter! Draco in his boxers, Draco in his boxers. Pardon? Harry looked over at Draco and blushed his usual crimson. When did this start?? *DUH! The dreams you've had over the past two years dumbass!* Who asked you?!?!? *You did.* Oh shut up! (A/N: Anyone remember the mental arguments?).
"Gather round, seventh years!" Summoned Professor McGonagall. "Professor Dumbledore is waiting for you all on the Quidditch pitch to portkey us all to Heathrow Airport."
First to the Quidditch pitch was Harry and Draco with not a millisecond between them. A close second was another draw between Dean, Seamus and Blaise. Hermione lagged behind Professor McGonagall, still muttering at the unfairness of not being able to take books.
McGonagall looked sternly at her, "Get over it Hermione!" and she walked off to catch the others up.
Once Hermione had made it to the Quidditch pitch, everybody transported to the airport in pairs. Coincidentally, Harry and Draco were paired together. When they arrived at the terminal, they landed on the ground, tangled up in each other. "Morning Potter!"
"Aahh!" screamed Harry and he quickly scrambled away, only because of his growing arousal. After-all, they were in public!
"Jeez Potter, I need my hearing!!! You bloody girl!" Draco shook his head, in the vain attempt to retain some hearing.
"Yeah well.um.sorry." Harry quickly got to his feet and made his way over to the growing number of seventh year students, praying to God that no one had seen his brief interlude with the Slytherin Prince.
They checked in their luggage and made their way to the departure lounge. Harry perked up as he came to sit between Seamus and Dean.
"So Harry. What are you going to do when you get to Ibiza?"
"Don't know, Seamus. Bout you?" The three grinned at each other very widely!!!
"Girl, Guy or both?" Piped up Dean.
"Cross that bridge when I get to it I reckon Dean!" And the three laughed. Meanwhile, still across the lounge, Draco looked on jealously. What do they think they're doing? Flirting with my soon-to-be property? Grrrr! I'm gonna rip their balls off and then.
"This is for all passengers boarding British Airways Flight 69 to Madrid. Boarding has now commenced, could all passengers have their boarding passes ready and make their way to Gate 22. Thankyou."
"Come on Seventh Years. That's us!! This way please!" McGonagall pointed the students in the right direction. "Oh, Harry, can you please retrieve Miss Granger. And Draco Mr Zabini is trying to molest that flight attendant. Drag him over here please." Both boys went their way to retrieve their respected assignments.
"Blaise!! Guess what.there's a blonde flight attendant on the plane. If you're quick, you might still catch her!!!" His answer was a black blur bolting past him, and through various other passengers and Seventh Years.
"Come on Hermione. I heard that there's gonna be books on the plane."
"REALLY! Oh, I might be able to do my Charms homework!"
"But Herm, aren't the NEWTS over? Okay. Don't argue. At least she's on the plane." Harry mumbled.
"This is a final call for passengers flying on British Airways Flight 69 to Madrid. The aircraft is in it's final stage of boarding. Could Mr Harry Potter and Mr Draco Malfoy immediately make their way to Gate 22. This is the final call. Thankyou."
"Shite!!!!!!!!! Move it Malfoy!"
"Ladies first."
"Yeah, and arseholes last!"
"Bitch!" Malfoy stuck his finger up at him.
"Wait a minute, shouldn't ferrets be in the cargo hold?"
"Fuck you four-eyes!"
"Careful what you wish for. We're going to Ibiza remember."
"Oh I'm sorry boys, but it seems that the economy section is full, and unfortunately so is Business Class. I'll have to ask the captain if you would be allowed to travel in first class, please excuse me for a moment." The flight attendant disappeared upstairs.
"First Class?" Harry asked. He turned to Malfoy with a HUGE grin on his face.
"Whoa. Scary. Don't do that Potter. But still. SCORE!!!!!!"
The flight attendant returned. "The captain isn't too happy about the idea, but he said so long as you two boys behave yourselves, it should be fine. Right this way please."
They followed her to the upstairs section of first class and nearly died. They were greeted by huge arm chairs for seats with their own TV's, phones, tables.
Malfoy dived forward, "I get window seat!"
"Piss off you Albino Rat!" They scrambled for the window seat and both ended up sitting in it squished. The flight attendant looked at them sternly.
"Get off me Potter! I called window seat!"
Harry reluctantly pried himself from Draco's lap, but not before wriggling around in the seat he had on him.
"Ahem!" called the flight attendant. "Take your seat's now boys and put your seat belts on!" she growled sternly before taking up her position at the head of the cabin.
"So, Potter. What happens now?"
"You haven't been on a Plane before?"
"No, dumbass. Please, do remember my heritage. As if any Malfoy would willingly stoop to this level!"
"Well, oh deprived one. We're going to take off in a minute."
"Explain."
"The Plane will run along the runway, gather speed and eventually take off into the air."
"Like a broom?"
"Higher up. Couple of thousands of feet in the air. And it won't be as smooth either."
"Bloody muggles."
The plane taxied to the runway and the flight attendant displayed the safety procedures, scaring Draco shitless!
"You mean this thing could crash?" Draco was practically clinging Harry's arm.
"It's happened in the past, but I'm sure that it wont happen to us, it's VERY rare that something goes wrong." Harry patted Draco cautiously on the head.
"HEY! Watch the hair!" Draco smacked him upside.
"Hey easy!"
"DON'T touch the hair! EVER!"
The plane had reached the top of the runway and before Malfoy could continue in his lecturing of Harry Potter on the Matters Of Malfoy's Hair Care, he launched himself into Harry as the pilot put the peddle to the metal, so to speak. The engines roared and Malfoy found himself wrapped in Harry's arms as they were only travelling down the runway at 600 kilometres an hour.
Draco also found the ascent rather nauseating as he felt his brain had squashed to the back of his head. Slowly the sensation abated, and he realised his stomach was still back in the lounge.
"Ok, Potter. Not feeling well now. . . ." Malfoy moaned.
"Ewww!! Don't puke on me!!! The airsick bags are right in front of you! Use those! NO! NOT MY. grrr. Thanks Malfoy."
"Shut up Potter. Stop moaning. Bit of magic and it's gone." Draco pulled out his wand.
"Ahhh. HELLO MALFOY!!! We're in a muggle plane! Put the bloody wand away!!!" Harry whispered harshly.
"Too late!"
Harry looked around him, checking that no one had saw Malfoy using his wand. He sighed in relief as everyone around them was emersed in a book or the newspaper or something else rather boring.
It wasn't until the flight attendant brought their in-flight snacks that the two boys noticed that they were still locked in each other's arms.
She looked down at them with a raised eyebrow. "Umm. . .boys. . .your snacks?"
"Oh, right, thankyou." Said Harry as they removed themselves from each other, clearly unaware of their previous position.
"Your stomach settled down yet?"
"Shut up!"
An hour and forty-six minutes later, they had arrived in Madrid Airport, where Draco experienced the delights of 'Landing'!
"Harry! Where have you been??? We thought that you had missed the plane!" cried Hermione as she found them in the Arrivals lounge.
"Draco and I got first class seats."
"Draco?"
"Yeah, you know, Draco Malfoy. Slytherin Prefect, also known as the Slytherin Prince, Sex God."
"I know WHO he is, but why did you call him Draco?"
"It's his name."
"But since when have YOU used it?"
"Hey Harry!!! Where you been?" Ron turned up too late as always in the conversation.
"Oh, just a little place called First Class."
"Huh?"
"The really really really nice part of the plane."
"Yeah, with the ever love-to-hateable Malfoy." Hermione chipped in.
"BUGGER! Bet you that was hell!"
"Yep. Especially when he puked on me! That was interesting."
"Lovely. Thankyou for sharing that Harry." Hermione looked a little green.
"Considering that he puked right in my . . ."
Harry was interrupted as Professor McGonagall called all of the Seventh Years to her. "Now we must all make our way to Terminal 2, which is the Domestic Terminal so that we can transfer planes to Ibiza."
Dean and Seamus were waiting VERY patiently, my arse they were! They were gone in two seconds flat and claimed the two closest seats to the door.
Harry could hear Draco complaining behind him. "You complaining again Dray?"
"I have to go through all of that AGAIN!?!?!?!?"
"So long as you don't throw up all over me this time!"
"Didn't I tell you to shut up about that Harry!?"
"Yep, but you know I love to tease you!"
Harry and Draco had walked off towards the Departure Gate with Harry's arm around his shoulders. Hermione and Ron just looked at them as if Hell had been replaced with Antarctica.
Once on the plane, that was kinda crammed with other horny English people, not that any of them put together could rival that of Blaise Zabini. And there were a lot of blonde flight attendants showing the repercussions of his condition.
Then there was our dear Potions Master, Sevie Snape, sitting at the back of the plane, reading his latest "Potions Book", but WHAT was he actually reading? These are the questions we ask ourselves. . . . Cos he was sure getting a strange 'reaction' to a Potions book.
All the seventh years were chattering amicably to each other, except for two Gryffindors. Herm had found a book.
Ron wasn't happy. Now who was he going to ask when he had a question? 'Stuff it', he thought, as he stuck his head through the two chairs in front to speak to Dean and Seamus.
Bad choice.
"Hey Ronnikins!! What's 'up'?" The two Gryffindor's proceeded to piss themselves laughing.
The Weasley twins had decided to impart their knowledge to the remaining Gryffindors when leaving, of their favourite little brother's favourite little nickname.
"Hey." Ron growled. "Herm found a book."
"Ooohhh. You poor lad. Evidently, 'Nothing's' up then. . ." They chuckled as silently as they could (not very, even Snape looked up and scowled at the interruption).
"What? What are you talking about?" Said Ron, the ever STUPID Gryffindor.
Everyone on the plane pissed themselves at this question.
Even Snape, which scared many locals.
As they neared the airport, a tall sexy blond flight attendant came and spoke to Dumbledore. "Do you think that you could possibly wake up those two boys asleep over there. They really need to be awake for the descent."
"Awww, but they look so peaceful! But if you insist." Dumbledore rose from his chair, but it was a bit difficult as the space between the seats was rather limited, unlike in the Great Hall. Therefore, stumbling to the appointed seats, and after falling over many a student, he final reached his destination.
There was Harry and Draco, cuddled up together, fast asleep. They looked perfect snuggled up in the seats. Harry had his arms protectively wrapped around Draco as Draco had his head buried in Harry's chest.
Dumbledore nudged Harry, "Harry, time to wake up now, we're almost there."
"Huh, wha? No, Ron, five more minutes! Hermione can wait a bit longer, surely!"
Snape's turn: "POTTER! WAKE YOUR LAZY ARSE UP!"
That did it! Harry jumped sky high! Um. . .although he was already there. In the process he startled Draco.
"What the fuck? I was having a good dream! You, and you, and you were there!" He first pointed to Harry, then to Dumbledore and then lastly to Snape, "And you were the wicked witch!" Then he actually woke up and realised that it was Snape he was talking too. "I mean, wicked Wizard (cough)."
Snape just glared at Malfoy, whilst Draco just shrunk back down into Harry's chest, before realising what he was doing. The two looked at each other and the colour of their skin could beat the trademark Weasley hair hands down. So basically they were glowing crimson, just to clarify any confusion.
However, they do not move apart, just stared into each other's eyes.
Snape just walked off in disbelief. Bloody Ibiza! What's it doing to the world? Where's my book gone!?!? Snape stared in shock as he noticed that his beloved book was missing!
"WHICH ONE OF YOU LITTLE SHITS STOLE MY BOOK?????????????" He roared, absolutely PISSED!!!!! He looked around at the dead silent plane, until he heard Blaise.
"WOAH! Now that just can't be possible!"
Snape flew over to them, literally. "I assure you Mr Zabini, that position is entirely possible. Now could you kindly GIVE ME BACK MY BOOK YOU LITTLE THIEVES!!!!!!!!!!"
"Your book?" Asked Seamus and Dean in unison. They all but ditched the book at him, "I was wondering why that was sticky! Ewwww, Snape, that's not right!"
"Entirely possible you say. . . Care to demonstrate?" Blaise was answered with a whack upside the head, and Snape just stormed off, too disgusted to say anything more.
"The captain has switched on the 'Seatbelt Sign' as we are approaching Ibiza. Could all passengers please immediately return to their separate! seats," the flight attendant looked directly at Harry and Draco, who squirmed under her gaze, "and securely fasten your own," another glare, "seatbelts. Thankyou for flying with us today, we all hope that you 'enjoy' your stay in Ibiza. Have fun!" She switched off the intercom and disappeared out of sight.