Disclaimer: Fine! Inu Yasha doesn't love me and I don't own him! Happy?! .....But I -do- own his ears...

A/N: Another wonderful update! o.o;; Okay, I love this story.. I love these tragic romance type thingehs... You can just ask anyone who has a class with me.. I'm just sitting there reading these angst romances and wiping the tears from my eyes... O.o;;

As for who Agent Smith is... Well, you'll just have to see, now won't you?!

SPOILER WARNING!!

12/15/04: The usual revisions.

I hate you!

You're always in my head,

Thought of you keep me awake at night in bed..

You've hurt me, broken me,

Thoughts of you just never let me be!

I hate you...

After all we've been through,

I still mourn over what you do

I barely slept or ate for weeks,

Now I'm unsure of what my heart seeks...

"... That was awfully nice of him to help you out and keep an eye on you afterwards! So, I invited him to stay while his apartment's being renovated!"

Kagome couldn't sleep... Her mother's voice still rang in her head, and she cursed her mom's hospitality towards others. Her mom had been extra nice ever since she had found Kagome at the bottom of the well, curled in a ball, sobbing.

It was almost daybreak...

Daybreak on a New moon... It was always on a New moon that she found it hard to sleep, even now. She only had half a day of school tomorrow, since it was Saturday, and she was considering skipping both it and work. She was so tired, yet couldn't sleep...

Her past had caught up with her... hadn't it?

She cursed under her breath, feeling so weak at the moment, and shoved the covers of her bedspread off of her. She sat up and placed her feet firmly on the floor, standing up and stretching. It was still dark, but she knew that soon the sunlight would wash over the shrine.

She opened her door as she pulled a robe around her shoulders, her eyes dull and unseeing as she silently padded down the hall, her legs moving on automatic. Agent Smith had taken residence in the guest room beside hers, but she knew just where to step so the old boards wouldn't creak with the added weight. She walked down the stairs and pushed back the sliding door, not bothering to slip on her shoes as she stepped outside, closing the door behind her with a small click.

Small lights glowed dimly around the shrine and surrounding neighborhood, lighting her way to a place she had tried so hard to avoid. Her legs moved on automatic, her head bowed as she bit the inside of her cheek, trying to stop her thoughts...

But no, her past had caught up with her and the memory had broke free at last.

She had relived the pain of a broken heart, and now it felt very fresh to her, and she still had the empty feeling in her chest that she had tried so hard to ignore...

Her heart...

Her heart had left with Inu Yasha, leaving her but an empty shell.

She'd never get it back now.. And she'd be cursed to live the rest of her life, trying to fill the void in her being.

Her eyes widened as her feet stopped, her head raised from the ground to take in her location...

The Goshinboku... The thousand year old, sacred tree...

The tree where she had met Inu Yasha... Five-hundred years ago...

She blinked back the tears, a sad smile curving at her lips as she remembered the first time she met him while he was in suspended animation and felt his ears. She shook her head, trying to ward off the memories as she stepped over the small fence around the tree, stumbling closer to the tree. Her vision blurred with tears as she placed her hands against the smooth spot in the bark where Inu Yasha spent fifty years of his life unjustly pinned to the tree.

She closed her eyes tightly, trying to ward off the tears she knew were sure to come and her hands fisted against the tree, memories flying through her mind.

The memory's voices echoed in her head...

"I'm telling you! I'm Kagome! KA-GO-ME!"

"And I'm telling you there's no way you could smell... sniff You're.. not... her..."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

"Keh! Kikyou was cuter... Much cuter..."

A sob erupted from her as she clenched her eyes shut tighter, her hands shaking.

"Here... It'll cover you up, though it's a bit bloody..."

"Thank you.. But that doesn't matter.. Because it's -your- blood, Inu Yasha..."

She sniffed and a tear slowly made it's way down her cheek.

"If I plug the well, you won't be able to go back to that strange era of yours!"

"No, Inu Yasha! Osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, osuwari, OSUWARI!!"

"Gyaaaah!! slam"

Her knees shook and gave way, letting her fall to the ground, her hands slowly sliding down the bark, but not losing contact with the tree.

"I know I can't compete with Kikyou.. Because I am alive...But, Kikyou and I are very different... Though, one feeling is the same.. We both wanted to see Inu Yasha again.. And that thought gave me a sense of comfort.."

"Kagome.."

"But I do ask you something, Inu Yasha.. Can I stay with you?"

"...Will you stay with me..?"

"Hn.."

Another tear joined the first, the two tears circling around each other before joining to drip off her chin down into the dirt. Her shoulders shook uncontrollably as she remembered her silent promise to him that day...

'I just want to see you smile... I don't want you to die.. But, I promise.. I will be by your side forever...'

The impact of that promise caused her eyes to snap open, more tears cascading from them.

'I broke that promise... I made a promise, but I couldn't fulfill it...'

She drew in a shaky breath as she sun began to come up, her hands falling from the bark of the tree, to clench in the dirt beside the tree.

She closed her eyes, not noticing the sound of a leaf crumbling nearby, a memory playing behind her eyelids as the sunlight began to wash over her..

"INU YASHA!!" Kagome screamed, running up to his youkai form to try to stop the transformation. Shippou had just freed her from the star, using the Shikon shards she kept around her neck, and she was trying to stop the transformation before his human half was sealed in the mirror forever and he'd only be a mindless killer.

She lunged for his chest, grasping his haori tightly in her hands as she pressed her head to his chest, listening to the growl rumbling from deep within him. "Inu Yasha! You have to snap out of it! You have to stop transforming!" Tears formed in her eyes as she felt him thrashing, her grip on his haori tightening.

Inu Yasha raised his arms, and she blinked, opening her eyes slightly. His claws quickly dug into her arms, sinking deeply into her flesh. She flinched, a small cry catching in her throat, as she pulled back to look up into his face.

He looked to be in anguish as his head thrashed about, and it tore at her very soul, her eyes watering even more. Crying wouldn't help him! She'd taken an arrow for him earlier that night, and would gladly die trying to save him again. "Inu Yasha.. What can I do to save you..?' She gripped his haori tighter and slowly raised her head to his, her shimmering hazel eyes looking one last time into his crimson ones, before slowly closing.

Her lips met his in a coaxing kiss, and almost instantly he froze. His crimson eyes slowly changed back into soft golden ones. His claws became that of a hanyou's again, and slowly pulled out of her arms. 'Kagome..' he thought as he gently returned the kiss

As they pulled away, both their eyes opened and met. "Inu Yasha.." she whispered breathlessly.

"Kagome!" He cried out her name in a strangled voice, thick with emotion, as his arms encircled her and brought her against his chest, burying his face in her hair....

Harsh sobs racked Kagome's small frame as she mourned her memories. The memories that had tainted her once pure heart and let her know hatred and bloodshed...

...And love..

The memories that were her past. That was -the- past. But she found it hard to put these behind her when they were such a big part of her life.

She clawed at the ground with her fingernails, as if trying to get rid of the pain by molding the dirt in her fists. She clenched and unclenched her hands several times, digging further into the dirt, until she felt her knuckles brush against something.

She opened her eyes, brushing away the dirt to better see what she had come across. She closed her hand over the object and pulled, yanking it out into daylight.

"Oh gods.... Oh gods, why...?" She whispered in a cracked voice.

In her hand was the one thing that connected Inu Yasha and herself more than anything else.

His rosary...

The damned necklace that was capable of making Inu Yasha kiss the ground with one word muttered by Kagome.

"Osuwari.." she whispered softly to herself, clenching the rosary tighter in her hand, feeling a small tooth from the string pricking her palm.

A stick snapped behind her...

"Kagome..?" A voice so familiar called out behind her, and she slowly turned her head, letting her puffy eyes meet his soft violet ones.

Inu Yasha...

No...

Agent Smith..

He was the last person she wanted to see right now...

She wiped her eyes on the back of her sleeves, discreetly placing the rosary in her robe pocket. "What?"

"...Are you okay..?" He softly asked her, stepping over the small fence much like she had earlier. He reached out a hand to place on her shoulder, and she abruptly stood up on wobbling legs, stepped out of reach and wiping the dirt from her hands on her robe.

"Stop asking that..." she mumbled, her gaze lowered to the ground to avoid looking up at him. Her legs wobbled again, threatening to collapse again, and she reached out a hand on the side of the Goshinboku to steady herself.

"Well.. Why are you crying then? Do you know what time it is? You have school." He took another step forward and she backed up slightly, her hand brushing up higher on the tree. Her eyes widened as she felt something engraved in the bark, and turned her head to study the markings.

"What? What is it?" Agent Smith walked over behind her, looking over her at the markings that her fingers slowly traced. His eyes widened and something flashed over his face, but he covered it up before Kagome could notice.

"Gomen..." Kagome read the kanji engravings, beginning to shake. She took her bottom lip between her teeth to stop its trembling.

Sorry...

It was a message from Inu Yasha... She knew that now..

Her hand fisted to the side of the bark, her head bowed as she tried to ignore Agent Smith's presence and not cry at the same time...

But he was so close, that she could feel his warmth... And he felt just like Inu Yasha...

Her hand dropped from the tree and slowly crept in her pocket, her eyes still fixed on the carvings, and she began to gently caress the worn, dirty beads of the rosary that belonged to the man she loved.

'I can't take it anymore...' she thought, a slow smile creeping over her face. 'Something's snapping inside me, and I can't take much more of this.. I can't go on as nothing more than a shell...'

Her knees wobbled and she gasped as she felt them give way. Agent Smith's arms swiftly came up under hers, keeping her from hitting the ground.

"Kagome..?"

She ignored his voice, thinking of how much it sounded like Inu Yasha's. She slowly looked up, looking into his eyes directly this time. She searched them, certain that she saw Inu Yasha. 'I've gone crazy...' she thought, her smile slowly widening. 'I've gone crazy and now I think that this is Inu Yasha.. It makes me wonder if this is even real.. Or is it a dream..?' She slowly reached up and brushed his cheek with her fingertips, twisting a piece of his hair around her finger. 'He feels real though...'

She let her hand drop from him, slowly standing up straight. "Gomen..." she whispered, though it was uncertain if it was directed at him, or if she were just pondering the word on the tree.

"He's sorry.. Sorry for this.." she whispered, smiling a teary smile up at Agent Smith. "But sorry won't save me.. I'm a dead girl walking..."

"What... are you talking about?" Agent Smith raised an eyebrow, though concern was evident in his eyes.

"You look like him, you know.. Just like him... I'm losing it..." She continued on, a small laugh in her voice as she took a step back from him, the hand in her robe pocket still caressing the rosary. "Heh, he's sorry.. But he's happy.. So I'm happy..." Her smile widened some, but it didn't reach her emotionally pained, liquid brown eyes.

Agent Smith looked a bit taken back. "You need some sleep, girl.." he mumbled, taking a step forward.

"I don't... I'm so tired, but I can't sleep, Inu...err... Agent Smith..." She mumbled, taking another step back, then breaking into a sprint for the house. He followed behind her, grabbing her shoulder with ease and pulling her back against his chest.

"You're going to get some rest.. Lots of it." He growled in her ear, dragging her towards the house.

"Gomen..." She whispered, looking up at him. She was thinking of the engravings this time.

He stopped suddenly and bent down. "Get on my back." he commanded with a soft tone to his gruff voice. She complied, leaning on his back and resting her arms gently over his shoulders.

"Gomen..." she whispered again, resting her chin on her arm as he grabbed the back of her knees and began to walk towards the house.

"Gomen... for the sit commands..."

He opened the sliding door and walked in, closing it behind him and starting to walk up the stairs.

"Gomen.. Inu Yasha..."

He flinched slightly for an unknown reason and continued walking down the hall.

"Gomen.. Inu Yasha... for not being able to save you..." She whispered against his neck.

Agent Smith stopped walking and turned his head to blink over at her. Something flashed in his eyes, but as suddenly as it appeared, it disappeared. She opened her eyes suddenly, looking over and noticing that he had stopped at the bathroom. Sliding from his back, she pushed the door open and began to step inside.

She looked back at Agent Smith, her eyes clouded as she looked up at him, her smile tight. "Gomen... because I wasn't able to compete with the dead, you died, Inu Yasha..."

And with that, she walked in the bathroom, the door clicking softly behind her as she locked it.

Agent Smith stood rooted to the spot, his mouth slightly open in shock, as he stared at the closed door.

Kagome stripped from her clothes, pulling the rosary from her robe pocket and stepping in the shower without sparring a glance to the mirror. She curled up in the back of the bath tub, letting the hot water from the shower wash over her back, as if to clense her. She held the rosary tight in her hands, watching the water droplets wash over the cracked beads, taking the dirt with it. She shook all over, though she had no more tears to cry... She just sat there, letting the hot water pound into her back and her now wet hair stick to her cheeks as she tried to smile, just a little.

Agent Smith leaned against the wall by the door, listening to the sounds of the shower running. He stared off blankly, his expression grim. "Oh gods, Kagome.. What's become of you..?" His hand slowly crept down the collar of his shirt and he fingered the dull golden locket that lost its shine so long ago, though two pictures rested side by side inside, still looking fresh.....

A/N: Bah, this was a depressing chapter... Poor, poor Kagome... I promise it'll eventually get happier, but I happen to be very fond of angst stories... The happy WAFF ones with lots of fluff, can't compare to a good ol' tear jerker! Review! O.o;; I better get a review from my friends that read this too! That means you too, Daniel and Bob.. Heather and Mike, too. Reviewing just one chapter isn't enough! o.O ;