WARNINGS: This chapter will get a little more slahy thoughts. Nothing actually 'happens' yet, but...yeah. There will be a brief description of child abuse, I'll warn you when we get there. There will also be drug use and possibly heavy drinking. There is also a VERY brief rape thing. I don't have the heart to write it so I had someone else do it. It's not descriptive but I'll warn you when we get there with this: $. That signals the abuse and rape.
DISCLAIMER: Harry and Co. Belong to J.K Rowling. The plot and various characters belong to me. The band name Wrong Turn is my band. If there are any songs they are by various bands, I'll tell you when we get there. The quote Nothing Gold can Stay from the book The Outsiders is by S.E Hinton. (Its from the poem Nothing Gold can Stay by Robert Frost.)
A/N: Wow, I totally screwed up! In chapter two I had the song Crawling by Linkin Park and he performed it. Then, in the last chapter I had Harry write it! I can't believe I did that! I'm not sure how to fix it, though. So I'll just repost the last chapter here before going on to the next chapter. THIS IS THE FIXED VERSION!
WARNINGS: This chapter will have slashy feelings from a certain HOT blonde to an also good-looking rocker raven-haired teen. This chapter might also get into the whole child abuse thing. No mentions of rape yet...I think I'll save that for later. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!
DISCLAIMER: Sadly Harry Potter does NOT belong to me...if it did I would NOT be here writing cheesy stories for people...though I have to say this is a kick-ass way to waste my time...I love it. There might be more singing in this and I am currently working on a song especially for this fic...its not done yet so the song will be from another band...most likely Linkin Park. (Their songs fit Harry so well)
A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews! This is my first fic and I would have to say that I am doing sorta well. I even get reviews from my fav author (who also writes my fav fic!) It's awesome. Um...about some spelling in the story...things from HP...I don't currently have my books with me so I can't check the spelling, so please don't get annoyed. Oh, and I would like to say that just because Harry is pretty much a bad ass now he will NOT be the dominate one once he and Draco get together! I HATE it when he is!
Chapter Five: The Reasons Why...
"Well, Snivillus," Harry emphasized Snape's nickname that Sirius and the other Maumurders gave to him, making Severus scowl, "I give you kudos for have a fuckin' huge place." And it was. Snape Manor was larger than Malfoy Manor, which had often gotten Malfoy Sr. jealous of Severus. It was a huge cobble stone building that looked to be about five stories tall, ivy vines growing its way up the sides like another skin.
The yard was not very well kept but Harry thought it looked better that way. Wild and free the gnarled plants wound together in bunches, seeking life from each other until you couldn't tell where one started and another ended. Thorns jutted out from various plants that Harry had never seen before and guessed they were magical. In front of the manor, cutting it off from the rest of the world was a tall metal gate; all-eerie looking yet having a sense of honor and history, if that made any sense.
Atop the manor was a window room and Harry instantly knew he wished to sleep there, to stay there every waking and sleeping moment. The aura of the circular tower room pulled him and he gapped at it.
"I see you've found a place you would like to stay," Sev drawled, trying to do a Draco impression but failing...no one can do it half as decant as Draco himself.
"Could I?" Harry breathed, still not able to tare his eyes away from the room.
"Yes, you may, and I will also give you an extra room where you can set up your musical items...where you can practice. I understand how much it means to you."
"You...huh?" Harry was baffled. Snape...the same Snape that was always so rude to him was being..."Nice? You're being nice? To...me? Harry Potter?"
"Mr. Potter, contrary to what you believe I do not hate you." Harry scoffed but Severus pretended to ignore it, "I hated and still hate your father." Pausing for a moment, trying to decide where he should take this conversation, he began again, "Tonight, and every night, directly after dinner, we will all discuss you, Mr. Potter, and what has happened in your life. We will start tonight small...with your current outer appearance, but then we will slowly work our way to more personal things, your emotions. We need to learn to trust each other, especially you and Draco."
"Whatever." Harry really had no urge to discuss his life because he tried to pretend it didn't exist unless he was singing. That was the only time he let out his feelings. Then he had an idea, "No."
"What do you mean-?" But Harry cut him off,
"Stuff it, Snape, and let me finish before you get your knickers in a twist." Draco stifled a laugh. "I will not discuss my life with you once it gets to my past and my emotions. I will perform for you. I have music recorded so all I have to do it sing with it. That's the only way I could do it. Take it or leave it."
"If that's all you can give it is all I can take, now isn't it, Mr. Potter?"
"Why yes, Snape, it is. Oh, and before school starts I need to go to Muggle London."
"Why?" Draco asked.
"New clothes...another tattoo...and maybe a piercing." Draco's stomach did a front flip. Harry was going to get more of those sexy things?!
"Yes, you may go, but we will all be going."
"Who gives a damn?"
"Mr. Potter?" Sev ground out, giving him a warning.
"Fine! I wont swear in front of you...at least I'll try not to. If I smoke I'll go outside and I'll try not to get high. It's hard, you know." Draco felt saddened by Harry's words...it was as if he didn't want to quit.
Maybe he doesn't, Draco.
Shut up!
Talking to yourself now, huh?
You ARE myself...so if I am then...you are too!
DAMN!
Draco pushed the fight with himself out of his head and he chuckled softly at how crazy he sounded.
"Draco," Draco was broken out of his thoughts by Sev's voice, "You know your way around. Stay with Mr. Potter. Bring him to his room, help him settle in, and bring his down for dinner. I know it is late," He looked at his watch (A/N: I know he probably wouldn't have one of those, but...hey...my story, my rules...lol.) "Yes, it is quite late, almost mid-night. We all need to eat so...be on your way."
Harry slung his cased guitar over his shoulder and grabbed his bag but it was quickly snatched out of his hands.
"Thanks, Malfoy."
"Don't call me that," Draco responded a moment later as they entered the manor.
"Why?" Asked Harry, honestly wanting to know why.
"I'm not a Malfoy anymore. My father disowned me when I refused the Dark Mark."
"Really? I'm impressed, good job, Draco." Draco starred at him for a moment, trying to decipher if he was making fun or not. When Draco found no sarcasm in Harry's beautiful green eyes- Wait...did I just call his eyes beautiful? Draco was shocked. He knew he had feelings for the Gryffindor...but this? This sounded like he was in love.
"I don't like muggles or muggle-borns but I don't want to kill them. And I sure as hell don't want to be controlled by someone...especially a psycho maniac."
"Have you met him?" Asked Harry softly.
"No...I know you have though." Draco paused for a moment, "What was it like?"
"You're crossing the line, Draco."
"Sorry. So," Draco said, changing the subject, "Do you write all of your music?"
"Yeah. I write the songs but the whole band usually writes the sheet music. And obviously I sing. Dashiell raps when rapping is needed, and he also does keyboard. They are all really close to me...lately they-"But Harry stopped himself. He was about to cross the line. They finally reached Harry's room (There were a lot of stairs) and they set his things down.
"No need to put anything away, I don't have much."
"Ok." Harry sat down on the unmade bed and pulled out his worn-out lyrics notebook and began writing, finishing a song he began writing about a month ago.
(This is called Pantomime by Incubus.)
In
my fantasy I'm a pantomime
I'll just move my hands and everyone
sees what I mean
Words are too messy
And it's way past time
To end in my mouth
Paint my face white and tried
Reinvent the sea
One wave at a time
Speak without my
voice and see the world by candlelight
I ain't afraid to let
it out
I'm not afraid to take that fall
But I have found
beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all
In
my fantasy no such thing as time
Minutes bleed into days
Avant
garde
Show me your heresies
And I'll show you mine
We only
speak in pantomimes on this carpet ride
I ain't afraid to let
it out
I'm not afraid to take that fall
But I have found
beyond all doubt
We say more by saying nothing at all
In
my fantasy you look good entwined
In my hair and skin and spit
and sweat and spilled red wine
You're my deep secret
I'm your
pantomime
I'll just move my hands
I promise you'll see what I
mean
Setting his pencil down Harry took a long shaking breath. That song has been his project for so long and it was finally done. He smiled at that but at the same time he wanted to cry. It was one of his favorites.... something that was very important and was special. It wasn't his favorite, granted, but it was on his top five list. He hadn't found his favorite yet.
"Harry...time for dinner." Draco said, looking at Harry with a questioning glance. He wanted to know what he was writing and why he all of a sudden looked so...glum. Harry sighed and they both walked in a comfortable silence to dinner.
A/N: There you go! Chapter five and I do hope you liked it! Its five pages! Yay! Again, please send your suggestions. It wasn't much but I just wanted to show how Harry and Draco could easily get along...it will become important. Thanks again! I NEED YOUR HELP!!! I want Harry to get another tattoo...what should it be of? And please, no Silver Dragon...a lot of people have that. I also want him to get another piercing...lip or nose? Please, I need your suggestions. Thanks again!
-Cherry
A/N: Ok, that was the reposting of the last chapter (chapter 5) with the new song. I still cannot believe I did that! Oh well, sorry about the confusion! I'll be much more careful. Ok, now onto chapter 6:
WARNINGS, DISCLAIMERS, AND A/N FOR THIS CHAPTER AND THE VERY TOP BEFORE THE REPOST OF CHAPTER FIVE! I ALSO THINK I AM GOING TO BE DOING SOME POV'S. BEAR WITH ME. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT TELL ME AND I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
Chapter Six: Nothing Gold can Stay
HARRY'S POV:
Draco and I walked slowly down the many steps. Goddamn! How many stairs does one man need? I thought. I mean, come on, Snape is one person, he no way in hell needs all of this room! And even if he has two people over he still doesn't. There are rich snobby people for you, always thinking they need to be superior to everyone else. But I can't say I'm not impressed. This place was enormous and most everything was some form of polished wood or marble.
Taking a sideways glance at Draco I noticed how his hair had grown longer and for the first time it registered in my head that he no longer slicks back the blonde strands. His straight blond/white hair hung loosely in his eyes, framing his finely defined face and high cheekbones. EW! What the fuck? Did I just describe Dra-Malfoy like that? What has the world come to? Sadly, with a sigh, I knew there was no denying it...Draco was sexy. He was gorgeous; he was a god, for fucks sake. One look at him and no madder what gender or sexuality you are, you just want to pin him to the wall and ravish him.
Uh-oh. Those thoughts were doing a little something to me that I didn't want to be happening. Surprising myself I blushed slightly. No matter how many times I had gotten drunk and high (I know, I should stop. I try...its just so hard!) I have never...um...bedded anyone. I am still a virgin...yeah, I know, yuck it up. The great Harry Potter a virgin. Well, you want to know something even more shocking? I'm gay...or maybe bi. I guess bi, I'm still attracted to girls. But I have to say I prefer guys. NO! I can NOT have a crush on Malfoy, it just...NO! Stop thinking these thoughts!
I noticed then that Draco...no, MALFOY was looking at me funny.
"What?" I snapped.
"You were mumbling to yourself...kind of."
"Sorry."
"So, anything you want to talk to me about?" I scoffed. Talk to Malfoy about my sexual preference, no thanks. He'd probably just point, laugh, and tell the paper so I can be utterly humiliated.
"No, there is nothing to talk about." We were silent for a bit longer when I finally got fed up. I stopped in the middle of the hall and yelled, "WHAT THE FUCK! WHY IS EVERYTHING SO FAR APART?" Malfoy just chuckled, a real chuckle, not his scoff. Then he smiled...and my god was a great smile it is! A real smile, for once, not that smirk...though that is kind of sexy.
"What?"
"The door is right there." He pointed to the oak door and right before I entered I said,
"You should do that more often," Smooth, Harry, real smooth, you sound so smart, your brilliance astounds me...'You should do that more often'? Wow, I really need help!
"What?" he looked confused.
"Smile," And with that I walked in, leaving a, what I was hoping to be, stunned Draco Malfoy. That time I thought smooth, real smooth, for real. No sarcasm. Smirking I sat down and looked at Snape. Greasy basterd.
DRACO'S POV:
Harry likes my smile. I am so confused. Is he gay, bi? I'll have to ask him. That smile he gave me right before he walked in, to die for. GOD! Why am I acting like a love-struck school-girl? I'm a Malfoy.
No, I'm not.
Well, technically, your not but still... I'm not a Malfoy! Temper, temper, Draco. Shut the fuck up!That thoroughly stopped my conversation with myself. God, I am going crazy. Taking a deep breath I walked into the dinning hall to find Sev and Harry just...looking at each other. Strange, huh? Ph, yeah right, strange. Sitting down I cleared my throat, breaking Harry and Sev out of their death glare contest. With a pop the food appeared and Harry eyed it.
"I won't poison you, you know," Sev ground out. Harry glared.
"I know, I'm still not used to eating a lot of food, that's all," said Harry dishing himself a small pile of mashed potatoes. I hoped to whatever God was listening that that wasn't going to be all he was going to eat.
"What do you mean, Mr. Potter?" Harry's eyes widened and he realized, I could tell, that he had crossed his only line.
"Nothing, I meant nothing. I just don't eat this much where I live. Bob and I aren't exactly rich, as you could tell. We usually get pizza or something." I knew Harry was lying. He was lying through his beautiful perfect teeth. I saw Sev eye him and study him carefully. I could tell that he, too, knew Harry was lying, but he let it go...for now.
"Now, Mr. Potter, would you like to share with us your new...change?"
"Happily," Harry smiled brightly and I noticed something glittering on his tongue.
"Harry...is that...?" But I never got around to finish asking because Harry smirked and stuck out his tongue.
"A tongue piercing? Uh-huh. The first one I got. Hurt like a bitch." I winced just thinking about it. A needle going through you tongue...ouch. Harry stood and...took off his shirt! I had to have been dreaming.
"I got my nipple pierced second. That was one of the most painful things I have ever felt," He laughed. I noticed something peeking out of his pants that looked gold. On his left hipbone.
"That's a tattoo...one of my three. It's a snitch, see?" He pulled his pants down slightly to reveal a tiny snitch.
"How did you get muggles to do that?" I asked.
"I drew it and said it was something I invented. I drew all of my tattoos original sketches. On my back I have a phoenix, see?" He turned and both Sev and I gasped at the brilliant phoenix we saw. It was fairly large, covering the entirety of his left shoulder blade. Its wing outstretched, almost going onto hi left shoulder. The other wing splayed out onto his right shoulder blade to almost the middle of it. The phoenix spouted from flames. (A/N: Think of the OOTP British cover.)
"You drew that?" I head Sev asked.
"Yeah...why? Do you think its bad?" Harry sounded uneasy.
"No, on the contrary, I like it very much. You have talent." Harry's mouth dropped at Sev's nice comment. Sev decided to ignore it and stood. "Well, we should all be off to bed."
"Come on, Golden Boy," I said as Harry and I walked up the stage.
"Don't call me that." He stopped in his tracks. Oops.
"Why? Isn't that what you are?" There you go, Draco, that's the way you get him to like you.
"Does it look like I'm the Golden Boy?"
"No, I guess not. Not anymore. This is a very Slytherin side of you." I smirked as we continued up the stair. My room was just down the hall from Harry's.
"The Sorting Hat wanted me in Slytherin, you know." We stopped in front of his room.
"Really?" To say I was shocked was a very large understatement.
"Yes, really. Tell me...do you really think I'm golden?"
"No, not anymore." He smiled for some unknown reason, opened his door, and before he closed it he said,
"'Nothing gold can stay'," And then he was gone. I went to my room and went to bed.
NORMAL POV:
When Harry stepped into his room he took a deep breath. This was too much to take. Everything...he was putting down his walls, letting his mask slip. He couldn't have this. Quickly he went to his bag and dug hastily for something. Finally he found what he was looking for...his lovely drugs. He took one hit and went to sleep, his nerves calm, and singing to a song that helped him go to sleep:
(A/N: This is All at Sea by Jamie Cullum)
I'm
all at sea
Where no one can bother me
Forgot my roots
If
only for a day
Just me and my thoughts
Sitting far away
Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave
me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with
me
If you want to, all at sea
I'm all at sea
Where
no-one can bother me
I sleep by myself
I drink on my own
I
don't speak to nobody
I gave away my phone
Like a warm
drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my
own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want
to, all at sea
Now I need you more than ever
I need you
more than ever now
If you don't need it every day
But
sometimes don't you just crave
To disappear within your mind
You never know what you might find
So come and spend some
time with me
And we will spend it all at sea
Like a warm
drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my
own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want
to, all at sea
Ooooh
If you want to, all at sea
If
you want to
$$$$: "Boy! Get your lazy ass down here now!!!" Yelled Vernon. Harry hastily stuffed his potions book under the loose floorboard and yelled,
"One second, Uncle!" And ran down the stairs as fast as his feet would take him. That summer had done worlds of wonder for him. He was no longer the scrawny kid, but stood at almost 6'. He was still skinny but all the yard work had done him good. His muscles were lean and hard, giving him definition and a tight six-pack that went with his skinny body. He wasn't bulky, though, he had the perfect seeker's body. But, no matter how much stronger he was, didn't prepare his for this.
As soon as Harry went through the kitchen he was slammed into the wall, his head hitting picture, the glass shattering, pieces of it getting jammed into his scalp. With a yelp of pain Harry's hand immediately darted there but before he could do a thing a fist plowed into his face. And then a kick, two, three, a rip snapped. The pain. That's all he could feel. Pain. Pain. Pain. His pants were pulled off, he could tell. Then he felt as if he was being ripped in two. He was raped...by his Uncle...he felt dirt.
Harry woke with a yell, quickly covering his mouth with his hand. As fast as he could he turned on the light, grabbed his lyrics book, and wrote a song:
(A/N: This is Replica by Fear Factory. They rock! They are an 80's metal band.)
There is no love
I am a duplication
Innocently
I was conceived
So violently
There was no love
There was no love for me
There was only hatred
I am rape
I am hate
I am rape
I am hate
Everyday I feel anonymous hate
Forever in the shadow of disgrace
I am rape
I am hate
I am rape
I am hate
Filled with pain
A bruised and darkened soul
Spare me from the
Life that's full of misery
I don't want to live that way
I don't want to live that way
There is no love
Everyday I feel anonymous hate
Forever in the shadow of disgrace
I am rape
I am hate
I am rape
I am hate
Filled with pain
A bruised and darkened soul
Spare me from the
Life that's full of misery
I don't want to live that way
I don't want to live that way
I am so
Filled with pain
A bruised and darkened soul
Spare me from the
Life that's full of misery
I don't want to live that way
I don't want to live that way...
Filled with pain
A bruised and darkened soul
Spare me from the
Life that's full of misery
Spare me from the
Life that's full of pain
Spare me from the
Life that's full of pain
I don't want to live that way
I don't want to live that way
And when Harry was finished...he cried. He cried for the first time since Sirius died. And unknown to him a pair of silver eyes were watching him, tears were shredded there as well.
A/N: Ok, there isn't a lot but I have had a LOT of tests in school lately. There are three songs, I know, but I found them all a little important. That's really all I have to say. Oh! I was REALLY thinking about an industrial piercing in Harry's ear for a piercing. I'm still thinking about a tattoo. I want it to actually mean something to him, you know? Any good fics? Share with me please!Well, send your suggesting, comments, and of course constructive criticism.
-Cherry
PS: GHOST OF THE ROBOT ROCKS!!! I AM SOOOOO MAD THAT THEY BROKE UP!!!!!!!!!