WARNINGS: SLASH, a little sexual, nothing huge. Swearing is a big in this chapter. Talking about drug use and cutting. DRUGS ARE BAD, MM-KAY!

DISCLAIMER: Song written by me. Harry and Co. belong to the, as always, wonderful J.K Rowling. You rock!

A/N: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Raven!! I love you!! You're the best! Thank you for betaing all my stories! Just...THANKS! I don't know what I would do without you! Oh, and aren't our convo's just SO interesting? Crazy minds think alike. Well...ahem, I am OK, I SWEAR IT! (Raven: lol Right...just keep telling yourself that.) cough Enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter 10: Waking up warm for once.

Harry woke up yet again.

Smells like cinnamon

Arms hugging me

Tired

Open your eyes

Light

Pain

Head-ache

Blonde...hair...?

What the hell happened?

Drugs

Cutting

Bad trip

Draco...?

So warm

Holy shit...head...

Light too bright

Turn it off

Moan

I feel like I'm dying

Maybe I am?

Draco awoke to a pain-filled moan and looked down. The teen in his arms that was fidgeting slightly, moaning in pain.

"Sh, Harry, it's okay, I'm here," He whispered and tightened his arms around Harry slightly, emphasizing his point.

"Draco?" Harry whimpered, and snuggled in closer to Draco, his words muffled in the blonde's chest.

"Yeah Harry, I'm here. Does your head hurt?" The only answer he got was another whimper and a head trying to bury itself in his chest further than it already was, if that was possible. Draco ran his hands through Harry's raven locks and massaged his scalp, trying to sooth the pain in the other boy's head. Draco's actions elicited a moan, which Draco found as a sign to continue.

"Better?" He whispered.

"Mm –hm," Harry moaned, relaxing under Draco's touch. It felt so wonderful to have someone hold him like this, touching him in this way, like someone loved him. Draco's body was warm next to him, and he felt secure, like a child with a blanket they've had since they were in diapers. Harry had never had that though, so he was just guessing. He had seen Dudley before when they were small children, snuggling up to his care bear blanket when he had a nightmare, which, to Harry's amusement, he still has to this day.

All of this baffled Harry. How could he be having these feelings so soon? He had just had his first kiss with Draco yesterday...at least he though it was yesterday, and now he thought he was in love with the blonde boy. It was, if Harry didn't have such a headache, laughable. Granted, in sixth year, he and Draco had stopped their petty fighting, but they were far from friends.

Now Harry lay in bed with the said blonde boy, curled in his embrace, and snuggling his head into the other's chest.

"Draco?" Harry asked after a while, his headache receding quite a bit.

"Yeah?" Draco said softly.

"What happened?" Harry felt Draco tense at this question, but Harry ignored it for now. There was a long pause while Draco thought about what he should say, where to start. While he pondered he shifted Harry in his arms slightly so it was more comfortable for both of them. Then, taking a deep breath, he said,

"Do you remember the article in The Prophet?" He asked.

"Yes." Harry answered.

"Well, you read it and got very upset. You stormed off to your room and by the time we go there you- you-"Draco stopped for a moment, remembering what had met his and Sev's eyes.

Harry was sitting on the ground in a heap, blood all over the floor. The dark haired boy had long slits on his arms and he had just snorted something, a bag of white power at his feet. When he looked up Draco could see the sadness and the loneliness in his eyes, and the pain of being along and confused for far too long. The once glowing eyes were just, for lack of a better word, dead.

Then he and Severus had rushed forward and healed his wounds and the older wizard forced a blood-replenishing potion down the disgruntled teen's throat. Draco embraced Harry and they sat there for 10 minutes before Harry had calmed enough to even talk too, and then he had freaked out.

"You cut yourself, Harry," Draco finally said, holding the other teen closer.

"I did?" Harry whispered. He seemed as though he didn't know it, like he didn't realize it.

"Yeah, don't you...don't you remember?"

"No," He whispered again. Draco felt him tense slightly, grasping to the back of his shirt, trying to hide in his chest. Then he continued, "I've always had control over that. I've never had to worry about not realizing I'm doing it, or losing so much blood. That's the one thing I have always had control over...and now that's gone." Harry said sadly.

"Then when you calmed and you were healed," Draco continued his story after a moment's silence, "We got you to talk, and you yelled. You finally admitted you were scared," Harry scoffed when Draco said this, causing the blonde to frown, "Being scared is nothing to be ashamed of, Harry. It shows that you're human." Harry froze, looked angrily into Draco's eyes, and stood.

"That's the second time someone told me that, and I'm fucking sick of hearing it." His voice was shaking and when he stormed out of the room, guitar, amp, and music in hand, Draco didn't take it personal. Harry was screwed up right now, and Draco struck a nerve, Harry wasn't actually mad at him.

Harry stormed down the hallway, his things in his hands, and looked for the room Draco had shown him the other day. He needed to play. He needed to play right now before he needed to cut or shoot up. He hadn't meant to be rude to Draco, but when he said that, he remembered Dumbledore saying the same thing to him in his office after Sirius died, and again last year. He was so fucking sick of people saying that to him.

No, scratch that, he was sick of people controlling his life. He was sick of being a damn pawn. He could complain, but people would only tell him that life wasn't fair. They would say he was an attention-seeking brat. No, Harry didn't need any of that anymore, especially now. All Harry wanted was to be back at Bob's flat, playing music with his friends, the people that like him for just being Harry, not Harry Potter boy-who-lived, just plain old Harry.

Finally finding the room he walked in and wished for some chairs, a couch, drinks, recording machines, a microphone, and a larger amp. Sitting down in one of the chairs (without armrests) he began to strum his guitar, creating various heavy metal rhythms. Finally he just escaped in his music, banging his head up and down, all of the relentless thoughts in his head pouring into his fingers and the result came out in the large amp. His eyes came to tears but he wouldn't grant the salty tears freedom.

The music could be heard all over the room, echoing off the walls, expressing the sadness and hurt in Harry, without him even singing a verse. Loud and powerful it pumped out of the amp and loudly into Harry's ears. Even as he sang he felt better, yet worse. He was getting his feelings out, but he was also reliving things he wished had never happened. Then the lyrics came, very much out of nowhere, and Harry was completely unaware when the door to the room opened and Severus walked in, looking at the teen pouring himself out.

I sit here

Wondering where to go

You tell me what to do

I have no control

I'm a pawn

You all look at me like I'm innocence itself

I am anything but

My darkness is coming out

You're losing your fucking control

And finally I'm here to shout!

I won't take it anymore

I'm taking control

I've let you hold me long enough

I'm no longer the pawn

I am death itself (you better watch out)

I can see the dawn

It tells me it's my time

I've let the fear take over far too long

Telling me that what you say is right

But now I know that what you say

Is just a fucking lie

You keep me out of the circle

Telling me I'm too young

You say I won't be ready

Then everything goes wrong

And who's to blame?

Who does everyone sneer and point to?

I'm the fucking pawn (Aren't I?)

I'm here to tell you

I won't take it anymore

I'm taking control

I've let you hold me long enough

I'm no longer the pawn

I am death itself (you better watch out)

I can see the dawn

It tells me it's my time

It's my time to lead

It's my time to say what's right for me

It's my time...

TO TELL YOU TO FUCK OFF!

(Raven: Awesome song Cherry!)

Harry stopped abruptly and sobbed once, but soon gained control of himself. Severus cleared his throat and Harry looked up, startled, and then got slightly angry.

"How much did you hear?"

"All of it." Sev admitted, though slightly ashamed with himself. Harry looked away, very embarrassed with himself. He never liked to perform new songs in front of people before he actually practiced them. He was also embarrassed because of last night's events. He had cried, cut himself, snorted his drugs, and also had a bad trip...talk about looking like a total loser. What would Snape say to him? No, think Severus.

"Harry, I think we should talk." Hearing his own first name out of Sn-Severus's mouth was strange, foreign even. Harry looked down at his feet, setting his guitar aside, and sat down in a chair, motioning for Sev to do the same.

"Yes, sir," Harry mumbled, still not meeting the older man's eyes as he sat down opposite him. Then a finger was on his chin, tilting his head upwards, until he was eye-to-eye with the onyx-eyed man.

"Harry, do not be ashamed, I am not angry with you," Severus paused for a moment, thinking of the best way to speak with Harry. Softly, not even believing himself at first, but knowing it was the truth, he said softly, "I'm worried about you."

(hfjshfj Harry, jjsahdjhd Harry's subconscious)

Worried? Snape, worried about you?

Shut up, of course he's worried about me. And you dumb...you are me!

Whatever you say, Harry.

Stop talking to yourself as a second person!

You should stop talking to yourself, period.

Damn...

"Please, Harry, talk to me." Severus said.

"I don't know if I can, sir," Harry replied in all honesty. He truly didn't know if he could talk

again so soon.

"I understand that your uncomfortable, but you almost killed yourself...was that what you were planning?" Harry's head snapped up at the question. Was he trying to kill himself?

"No sir," Replied Harry after thinking it over, "No, I was not trying to kill myself. I, uh..." Harry cut off, truly embarrassed now, red coloring his cheeks. He held his arms up to Sev. Severus slowly took off the many bracelets Harry wore on his arms, reviling a few thin lines. He could not control the gasp that escaped his lips at that moment. Quickly Harry withdrew his arms and bolted from the room.

Oh, man...that was embarrassing...he was so disgusted...why did I even show him? And Draco, I can't believe I snapped at him like that! I am such an arse! Oh, man,

Harry was beginning to hyperventilate as he made his way back to his room, where he would try his hardest not to shoot up or cut. He wisely didn't make any promises...just look at what happened before. As soon as he came to his door he hoped to god Draco was in there, but when he opened it, the blonde-haired Slytherin was nowhere to be found.

Immediately Harry went for his knife that lay in his pants pocket. It was just a swiss army knife, but would do just fine. Swiftly he opened the blade and brought it to his arm, his hands shaking, and hesitated. No, this was wrong, he knew it. He couldn't let anyone down, he had to be strong. A small sob escaped his lips. NOT AGAIN! He hated crying, it made him feel weak. And why was he beginning to cry so much, was this place having such an affect on him?

Decision made, Harry rushed out of his room, blade still in hand, to Draco's door. By then he was silently crying, shaking violently, and trying as hard as he could not to slice open his tan skin. He began to pound frantically with his left, uninjured hand, his other, which had gone unnoticed, gripping painfully the knife. The door opened, showing a Draco that looked as though he had just woken up, his hair mussed slightly.

"Harry?" He asked urgently.

"Please, Draco," Harry whispered, almost a sob.

"Please, what?" Draco was far too worried about the state Harry was in to notice the knife.

"Please, don't let me!" Harry yelled, holding up both his hands. The moment Draco saw the knife it clicked. He reached a hand out, swiftly swiping the knife out of Harry's quivering hands, and pulled Harry in a tight embrace. Draco, still holding the other teen, walked inside and closed his door, tossing the knife away in the process.

"Sh, Harry, it's alright. Everything is going to be all right. I've got you don't worry." Draco sat on a chair and pulled Harry onto his lap, holding his close, whispering words of comfort in his ear, and stroking his back in a calming matter. After about 10 minutes Harry's shaking stopped and the sobs calmed to small gasps for breaths. Finally, Harry whispered,

"Sorry."

"For what?" Draco asked

"For being so weak." Draco pulled back to look Harry in the eyes, saying firmly,

"Never, ever believe you are weak, Harry. You are not weak." Harry looked away, not quite believing the blonde's words. Then he added,

"And for getting mad at you earlier. It just..." Harry sighed. He didn't want to dig up the past but he wanted to explain to Draco why he got upset. He continued, "In fifth year, after Sirius died, well...right after I went to Dumbledore's office, and I got pissed because he told me something...I don't really want to say, but he told me it was his fault Sirius had died. He kept something really big and important from me, and that was when he lost my trust.

"Well, I got angry, began to cry a little, and started thrashing his office," Harry chuckled slightly at the memory, "He said that I should just keep doing that, that he didn't care. That just got me angrier. Then he said that crying and being afraid just meant I was human. I just...I'm sick of people telling me things like that. No human should have to go through some of the things I have."

"I know, Harry, but please, understand, crying and being afraid does not make you weak. Being able to cry is a very powerful gift, no matter how horrible it makes you feel. At least you know you have something to live for, you have some feelings left. I don't want you to shut yourself off, Harry. Like now, when you came to me when you felt like cutting, I was so proud of you." Draco captured Harry's lips in a heated kiss, holding the other teen's neck and tilting his own head to deepen the kiss.

Harry responded immediately, re-situating himself so he was straddling Draco, his hands on the blonde's shoulders. There was a soft knock on the door that neither of them heard, for Draco had grasped Harry's arse and pulled him in, grinding slightly into the raven-haired teen. A soft "Ahem" brought them out of their full on snogging session.

"Hello, Sev," Draco greeted cheerfully. Severus scowled and said,

"Food will be ready soon," And then he was gone, and Harry and Draco soon went back to their 'business'.

TBC...

A/N: Ok, what do you think? (Raven: awesome!) That went a bit fast, but they won't be doing anything more than snogging for a long time, I swear. I've been a little busy lately, and I have a concert tonight, so I am SO nervous, and we've been having practice everyday to get ready, and everything has been hectic! I broke my guitar again and had to get it fixed and had to get a new amp...again! I blew it...again! (Raven: lol) I play too loud on my practice amp, which, by the way, just shows my stupidity. I think I will be updating this story once a week every week, so they can be a little longer like this one, about 6 and a little pages. To keep you guys occupied I will be doing some short chappies for my new story A Second Chance, since you asked for Harry to not die. Also, my lovely beta (I love you!) Blackraven13 will be continuing The Other Side for as long as she wants. The song in this story was written by me, though, I must warn you, not one of my best. (Raven: but it's very, very good.) I honestly wrote it on the spot for the story, so it really isn't my true feelings so it isn't all that good, but I tried and thought I did ok for doing it on the spot. What did you think of it? Please review, and thank you SO much to all my reviewers! Suggestions would be SOOO wonderful, also!

-Cherry

PS: Soon, maybe even the next chapter, will start going a couple of days, then maybe weeks into the future. I'm not going to be doing a one day one chapter kind of thing. Some of the chapters are even one day then the next chapter is the rest! It will speed up and bit, and if I do things right it will go through their whole 7th year, you all said you wanted that.

Remember: Smurfs are you friends not you enemies.