Happy 2005!!!
REVIEW PLEASE!!!!
Snuffles208
Disclaimer- I OWN DEA!!! MUAHAHAHAHHA!!!!
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"No, keep your back straight. If you bend it, you'll fall. Try again." Butler had returned and decided to help the kids with some kicks. Better than sitting around anyways. He was down in the basement with some kids trying to teach them exactly how to do a flying kick.
"But if I straighten, I'll fall backwards."
"That's why you lean forward. Try again."
One of the kids groaned and said in a kidding tone "You're worse than Charlie."
"Well, we could always do push-ups..." Butler trailed off as a collected NO rose from everyone.
-------(AN: okay that was random but it kinda comes into play later...well it might)--------
"Got them yet?" Asked an annoyed Artemis. (AAAA LOL...)
"Mrump screw grrrr..."
"Maybe not then?"
"Don't rush me pumpkin face if you're so eager why don't you get your bloody ass down here."
"Language, Miss. Nuhad"
"Listen, you be thankful I haven't decided to string your guts across the room, okay? Why don't you think of a plan to get Butler back once I get the file up?"
"I already have." Dea sent him a death glare which Artemis received with his usual icy glance.
"Well then Mr. I'm-so-much-better-than-you, I'm all ears."
"I do not reveal important plans to people of lower rank."
"And I don't give important files to people who are rude," said Dea as she jumped up onto Artemis's desk.
"Give me those," Artemis lunged for her. She swung away and landed behind him.
"Nahhhhh!"
"That is about the most childish thing I've ever heard." he replied crossing his arms.
"I like that word so don't-HEY!" Artemis had lunged out and hit her behind the knees, causing her to fall.
"Now would you give me the file?"
"No,"
"Miss. Nuhad I must insist that you hand it over." Dea sat up and pretended to be pondering his words.
Well, I have to say, neesh!" Dea called as she ran out the door.
Artemis gave a groan and ran after her. He wasn't in such bad shape that he couldn't chase her.
"Catch me." Dea swerved and headed for the main hallway.
"Miss. Nuhad! Get back here!" Artemis said.
"No!" Dea turned back and looked at him. Then turned around and slid down the long banister.
"Wha-"
"Come on. Slid down and I'll give you the file." Artemis frowned at her then sat down carefully on the banister.
"Must I-"
"Yea-but I could just..." Dea turned around to leave when WHAM Artemis hit her in the back, knocking her to the ground.
"Surrender?"
"Yea, just one question. Where did you learn to slid like that."
"It's all a matter of the law of gravity, really."
"Forget I asked," said Dea sighing defeat and heading back up. "Sure there's no loophole in the law of gravity stating crazy teens can slid up stairs?" she asked.
"Certainly positive," Artemis smiled and jogged to catch up with Dea.
--------(AN: hehehe I get the most OC Artemis Award)------------------------------
"Father?" Artemis knocked on the office door.
"Eh?"
"May I come in?"
"Yes. For God's sake, boy. Hurry up."
"Ah, yes. Good evening Father. I have some upsetting news."
"Eh, well spit it out I have no time for you."
"Yes, sir."
"Well?" Artemis Sr. spun in his chair to face Artemis
"I discovered this file in my room. I thought you should take a look at."
"Give it here." Artemis handed the folder to his Father.
"Eh..." Artemis Sr. scanned the page as his eyes slowly widened.
"Your employee? Your employee?"
"Yes, sir."
"When did you do this?"
"When I was five, sir. I believe you were in Australia that year on a business venture."
"This is all very well, but do you have my signature on the document stating that I am no longer employing him?"
"Yes sir."
"Impossible. I've never signed anything of the sort."
"Yes you did. On the nineteenth of-"
"Listen, Artemis. I do not have time for your games. Now fine. I signed that document. Butler will be back here in two weeks, As you wish. Can you please leave and close the door on your way out?"
"Yes sir." Artemis paused for a second watching his father work.
"Why are you not gone yet? I have very important business to attend to, legal business."
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."In two weeks? Are you nuts? What if someone tries to attack you between now and then?"
"I know how to defend myself."
"Not against professionals."
"Who would attack me?"
"And the bazzilion death threats that come everyday are just normal lifetime experiences?"
"Yes, and none of them have gotten past the Manor defenses." Artemis frowned a little voice in his head was saying most haven't, don't forget about the fairies.
"Aww...poor Ary gets death threats. Personally I would like that. Makes you feel special."
"You are right."
"I always am. But enlighten me. What am I right about?"
"I need a bodyguard. I have a meeting coming up."
"Go hire one."
"Yes, but they need to be good." Artemis sat down on a chair. "Very good."
"Get one of Butler's friends."
"Butler's friends?"
"Yes, O smart one. Friends."
"I suppose you want me to break into Butler's room and see if he has an address book?" said Artemis is a you've-got-to-be-kidding-me tone.
"Yep! I'll help."
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It was later that evening. Dinner was finished and being cleared away by a lesser maid. Dea was waiting for Artemis by the entrance to the Lodge.
"You're later," she snapped.
"I had to walk," Artemis sniffed.
"Oh yes and two minute walk is such a difficult thing."
Artemis glared at her. He had changed into another suit. One more suited to the cooler August evenings. Dea was still in jeans and a T-shirt.
"Move," he ordered.
"No! Why?"
"Because I need to open the door," Artemis stated in the tone of one explaining that two plus two is four.
"Well fine then." Dea moved to the side allowing Artemis to unlock the door to the Lodge.
"I have disabled all other security measures so we should have no problem getting in."
"That's good then. Goddess knows I wouldn't wan to get blown up because I flipped something I thought was the light switch."
Artemis frowned at her and led the way into the Lodge. There wasn't much to see. Just a long hall way, a staircase and three doors. "The one on the right is Butler's room," said Artemis.
"What's the code?"
"I'm not sure," said Artemis fiddling with the lock on Butler's door. "Probably something impossible to guess."
"Let me try."
"Try what?"
"To open it."
"What for?" Asked Artemis, smirking.
"So we can get in."
"Why do you want to open the lock if it's already open?"
"Wha-? Grrr, you're pure evil," Dea said as she walked past the opened lock and into the room, smacking Artemis on the arm. "Okay, were do we start?"
"I would suggest the desk?" There really wasn't much in Butler's room. A desk, a bed, a closet, a TV and a bookshelf were just about it.
"You try the bloody desk. I'm busy," said Dea.
"And what are you busy with?"
"Watching you go through the desk."
Artemis glared at her and opened on of the desk drawers. Inside was a pencil, piece of paper and address book.
"What do you think?" He asked holding it up.
"Uh I dunno. Which way did he go George. Which way did he go?" Said Dea in a stupid sing song voice. "Try opening it."
"I was just asking if you think we should try it or keep looking."
"Uh huh. Yeah. This will do. Lets look these people up." Artemis pulled out his laptop from his briefcase and started to type. After a few minutes he sighed.
"Most are dead."
"Anyone left?"
"Three people. Cayl Ashfords, Virginia Collins, and Liam Smith."
"Which one?"
"Ashfords is in England, Smith lives some where near by, Collins is in also England. I suggest we visit Smith first."
"Okay, can I drive?"
"No,"
"Please?"
"No, and no more discussing it."
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They pulled up to an tired, old-looking, cottage with a barbed-wire fence surrounding it. Three giant mastiffs were in the yard and security cameras covered every inch of the yard. Dea hopped out as Artemis pulled to a stop. Artemis then got out and proceed to ring the gate bell.
"Who's there?"
"Artemis Fowl Junior along with Dea Nuhad. Please do let us in so we may have a civilized conversation rather than yell across a fence."
"Step on through. And hurry up."
They stepped through the gate, passed by the mastiffs, who on closer examination looked to be ancient, and gingerly opened the front door.
"Hello? Who the hell is home?" Called Dea.
"Come in, come in. Artemis Fowl, Butler's charge? Where is he? Not here? Ah, that is to bad we haven't talked in ages. I believe the last time we talked we were discussing, and my who are you? Oh you must be Dea. What a pleasure it is. And why are you here?" The man, Liam Smith was around forty. His faced was lined and a few scars covered his arms. He looked to be about six feet in height, and paranoid.
"You are an acquaintance of Butler?" It was more of a statement that question.
"Well, yes I am. Why don't we head into the video room. I'm sure we would be much more comfortable." The man led the way into a little room filled with screens that were all blank.
"Do any of these things work?"
"Why of course they all work! See here you can see the front gate, look!" The man pointed at on of the blank screens "And there are the doggies! Watching the gate like always. Such good security."
Artemis looked at the screen once more, definitely blank.
"Do you mind if we ask you some questions? Have you graduated from Madame Ko's academy?"
"No and no. I dropped out to worked at a security center. You see this camera?" He pointed to one of the top screens, "Got that one for free, one of the best there is."
"Have you ever worked as a bodyguard?"
"No, but I am very skilled in security. Take a look at this..." the man headed of towards yet another blank screen.
"Well someone's off their rocker," Dea hissed. Artemis turned towards the man.
"Thank you, but we are in no further need of your services." The man didn't notice.
"Let's just go, he'll never notice."
They pulled up to the next residence, a large townhouse. When the rang the bell they were greeted by a large number of shouts and a high pitched squawk.
"Hello?" A man peered out the door.
"I am Artemis Fowl, I am here to interview you for a possible position as my bodyguard."
"Oh. My goodness. No, no. no! I sing now."
"Can we just ask you a few question?" Dea stuck her foot in the door.
"Oh very well. Well, well, well, WELL!" The man sang going up the scale. Artemis winced.
"Have you had any body guarding experience at all?"
"Oh of course I should have played the part of the guard in my latest musical, but no! I was a stage hand! Me with my beautiful singing skills! Ah what has this world come to? But you will listen to my songs? Listen? Okay here I go." He started to sing a very long opera note. Artemis stood up.
"Thank you but I believe we shall be going now."
"What you don not want to listen to me sing? Ah curses on you!" The man picked up a book and threw it at the floor. "Ah why you no listen to me? MY life is a misery, ah, ah, ah!" the man started up the scale again.
"Okay bye, bye Mr. I need a life," said Dea as they quickly exited the building.
As Artemis started the car Dea started to wonder out loud.
"Are all of them going to be this weird?"
"How would I know? Does it seem to you that I can tell the future? Because I cannot."
"Well what do you know about this person?"
"Well Virginia Collins, graduated from Madame Ko's academy. She currently resides in England She does not work. Check to see if she's home."
"How the heck would I do that?"
"Open the computer and go to the folder that says surveillance. The click on the file that says VIRGINIA COLLINS. Really, I was hoping you would be able to figure that out on your own, but apparently I overestimated your thinking capabilities."
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AN okay that was seriously blah but im having a writers block so I think I'm gonna focus on one shots....I should get the next ch up by Feb...hopefully....OKAY ALL REVIEWERS!!!
PLEASE HELP ME !!! My friend came up with a theory...tell me what you think and if I should work it into the story. Okay Butler would be twenty two when Juliet was born? We never find out anything about their parents so it could be possible that Butler is Juliet's father but he never told her....whaddya think? OKAY REVIEW!!!