Usual disclaimers – but Shay's mine! Mwahahahaha!

A warning for a nasty scene in this chapter and a little fun with Jack and Patience… ;)

Sincere apologies to Hilary for forgetting to thank her for editing and reviewing last time – wrist is duly slapped.

Pen, you had me crying (yet again) with your review, especially the 'foot' bit!!

KillerK, I'm British, so the Thanksgiving holidays didn't affect me. I know what you mean about RL intruding on your fun though.

Roxula's Bride – your wish is my command!

Thanks to Ginny, galleria, tru spirit, beatlechicksteph, and A Depp Girl, for your reviews.

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Chapter Twelve: 'Ya think yer can turn me into a eunuch?'

'Ya lookin' forward ter havin' a house again?' Jack nestled himself back into Jenny's arms as she sat on the window seat, after overseeing the last of the supplies on board. They would be setting off soon.

'In a way, I am,' she admitted. 'It will be nice to have a garden again, grow flowers and herbs. I can stock Mr. Cotton's medicine chest,' she chuckled. 'But I will miss you dreadfully. I shall miss life on board ship.'

'You'll get used ter it again. You've spent longer on land than ya have on th'sea,' he reminded her.

'Yes, but as you have said so many times, the sea gets into your blood.'

'Nothin' ter stop ya comin' on board again when th'nipper gets older.'

'I don't know,' she sighed, kissing his unruly hair. 'We might have more children.'

'Aye, we might. How about getting' in some practice… we don't wan t ya forgetting how babies are made now, do we?' he grinned.

'I don't think there's much chance of that, Jack Sparrow,' she snorted, moving his hair to one side and kissing his neck. 'Although they do say, practice makes perfect…'

'Well what are ya waitin' for?' he demanded, standing and pulling Jenny to her feet. 'Undress me luv,' he growled huskily, watching her face intently as her deft fingers set to work on first removing his clothes, then her own.

'Sit down Jack,' she instructed, straddling him once he was seated and lowering herself onto him, gasping as he took a nipple in his mouth as she did. She arched her back and leaned her hands on his knees as she rode up and down on him, moaning as his mouth sucked on her breasts, her neck, her collarbone, whatever part of her body he could reach.

'Hold me, Jen,' he whispered, wrapping his good arm around her as she did and latching his mouth to hers, his tongue exploring deep inside.

Jenny moaned deeply into his mouth as she came, breaking away and crying out as the feelings became too strong to hold in. Her cry was joined by Jack's as he reached his own release and they flopped into each others arms, satiated and panting.

…

'Father, I don't think it is a good idea to torture Bailey,' Richie Page said nervously. 'Some of the men are a little edgy having you on board. This might spook them even more.'

'They have good reason to be,' Valentine smiled thinly. 'Very well. I won't have him tortured. Just fed to the sharks.'

Richard Page sighed heavily. He had got used to being in command of Le Brestois, practically from the time she had been taken, but now his father was on board, he had automatically taken command, even though he always referred to Richie as Captain.

'Can we not just shoot him and toss him overboard?'

'After the merry dance he led me? I think not, son. If the crew see what happens when I am crossed, they will be less likely to cross me themselves.' He turned, looking for his right hand man and finding him on the poop deck. 'Tobias, time to fetch Bailey, I think.'

'Oh? Very well.' He hurried himself down to the brig, wondering at the change of plans. Absolon Valentine had been very angry with him when Job Bailey had escaped after being paraded around Tortuga on a leash. He had sworn that when Bailey was re-captured, that the man would suffer and suffer for a long time until he screamed for death. And now it seemed, that was not going to happen.

'Time ter go, Bailey,' he snarled as he looked through the bars at the downtrodden man on the floor.

'P-please,' he begged. 'Please kill me now an' get it over with.'

'Can't do that, you bastard. You made me look a right fool when you escaped and I have been looking forward to punishing you. Well now here's my chance.' He unlocked the door and hauled the chained man to his feet, shoving him out of the cell. 'Move!' he ordered, prodding the prisoner forward and sneering at the whimpers of fear coming from him.

'Well, well, well,' Valentine drawled as Bailey appeared from the hatch. 'Thought you could get away from me, did you? You should have gone a lot further than Tortola, you fool.'

'I-I… please. I will do anything you ask of me.' Bailey fell to his knees in front of Valentine, a pleading look in his eyes.

'You bloody coward,' he sneered, kicking him. 'You can't even face your own death like a man.' He nodded at Hoskins, who picked him off the deck and dragged him to the side of the ship, the watching crew parting as they approached.

Hoskins took a rope off Page and looked down at the helpless man. 'Help me,' he ordered the nearby crew and two men came forward and helped him tie it around Bailey's middle, laughing evilly at their former captain. 'Hold him steady.' Tobias Hosksins took his sword from its scabbard and held it, blade first, against the groin of the stricken man.

'N-no,' he whimpered. 'P-please… no.'

'Too late for that,' he mocked, then thrust the tip of the blade into the thigh of Job Bailey and ran it down his leg, enjoying the screams from the man. 'Shall I do the other leg, Sir?' he asked his employer.

'No, we don't want him passing out or dying too soon,' he remarked. 'Lower him down.'

'No…!' The scream echoed around the ship as Bailey was lifted up then lowered down the side until he was about three feet from the water, his blood dripping into it. 'No, ya bastards,' he cried. 'I'll see ya all in hell.'

'You'll be there long before the rest of us,' Valentine called down, scornfully.

'Nooooo!'

Valentine smiled as he saw a couple of fins circling and waited, wanting to draw out the agony further. He saw three more fins coming towards the ship and nodded, watching as Bailey was lowered. A gasp went around the ship as the water boiled and frothed and turned crimson, the screams of agony lost as the stricken man was pulled beneath the water.

'Get this mess cleared up,' Valentine ordered, nodding at the blood on the deck. 'We head for Port-de-Paix.'

…

'Best say yer goodbyes,' Jack said, striding across the deck to stand next to Patience. 'It won't be safe fer ya t'return fer a while.' He glanced at her in surprise, noticing that she was not only clean, but reasonably presentable in a new dress. 'Well…' he sighed, turning back to observe the men working on The Black Pearl. 'Better be getting' yer arse down to th'galley an' help John prepare th'dinner.' He looked down at her, surprised that she had not moved and was still staring at the pirate town. 'Go on… shoo! Off ter work!'

'Work?!' Patience whirred around from taking one last look at her home and faced the captain of The Black Pearl. 'I've lost everythin', got brought here against me will, and I've got to move to another island because of you! Yer can't seriously expect me ter work aboard yer bleedin' ship?'

Jack rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically for good measure. 'I've had this conversation before,' he mused. 'You want to eat - work or I'll throw ya in th'brig, like I did with Jenny.'

'Piss off Sparrow!'

'Th'brig it is then…'

'Ya can't throw me in th'bleedin' brig!' she screeched. 'Damn ya ter hell, ya bastard.' She turned around and stared at the sea. 'All mouth an' no breeches,' she muttered under her breath.

'Oh yeah?' Jack countered, reaching for his belt. It was time this young woman was taught a lesson. Nobody, absolutely nobody, sassed Captain Jack Sparrow on his own ship.

Patience turned around in time to see Jack's breeches drop to his ankles. 'Seen one, seen 'em all... not very big, are ya?' she sneered turning her back on him once more and not seeing the look of outrage on his face.

'Shay,' he called, pulling his breeches back up and lacing them, with some difficulty due to his injury. 'You bought this hellcat onboard - you take her!'

'M-me, Ja… Captain?' Shay gaped in shock at the action of his friend and captain and could still feel the various bruises the small woman had already given him. He had a feeling that more were about to follow.

'That is an order,' Jack snapped, glaring at the young Tortugan woman's back then at Shay.

'Yes, Cap'n,' he replied meekly.

'Just you try it, Erinman…'

'C'mon cailin, the captain has ordered it.'

'Sod off!' she retorted.

'I'll pick ye up again if I have to.'

'I'll deck ya again if I have to…' she warned, looking around for something to use as a weapon. 'No!' she shrieked as Shay plucked her from the deck and slung her over his shoulder again. 'Put me down, ya stinkin' gutter rat. Ya worthless piece of horse shit. I'm goin' ter make yer life a livin' hell fer this.'

'Ye already are, cailin,' he winced as her shouts got louder and kicks got harder.

'Ya ain't seen nothin' yet!' Patience tried to grab onto the sides of the hatch as Shay carefully carried her below, then pounded on his back with her fists when she failed. 'I hate ya, ya bastard!'

Shay started jogging along the corridor to the next hatch, wishing the brig was not quite so far down. He tried to grin at his crewmates lining their way, whistling and jeering, but it was too much effort, so he just concentrated on getting the headstrong woman to the brig in one piece. But the lower they got, the more she struggled.

'I'm warnin' ya, Erinman.' Patience grabbed a handful of his long black hair and yanked hard, sinking her teeth into his shoulder blade at the same time.

'Ah! Fer Christ's sake!' he cursed, dropping her to the deck floor. 'Ye little…' He dodged out of the way as her foot came towards his groin, then ran after her as she belted along the corridor for all she was worth, ignoring the men who were thoroughly enjoying the spectacle. She skidded to a halt as she came face to face with the tip of Jack's sword, pointing straight at her.

'Ya whore's son! Ya could've stabbed me!'

'Maybe I wanted to…' he drawled, smiling sardonically.

'I ain't goin' in no brig.'

'Oh yes ya are, young missy.'

'Bollocks!' she swore, snarling at him.

'Yep, got those,' he grinned, winking broadly at her.

'Fer now…'

'Ya think yer can turn me into a eunuch?' he sneered.

'A what? Oh, one o'them. P'raps that shot should've been lower!' she smirked, the smile being wiped off her face by Shay who slung her over his shoulder once more and carried her to the brig without dropping her, but gaining a few more bruises to his ever growing collection.

'In ye go, cailin,' he grinned putting her down.

'I don' bleedin' think so, Shay Connelly!' she snapped, diving for the door.

He caught her just in time and pulled her back and she cannoned into him, making him lose balance. 'Bloody hell…' he cried as they both fell to the deck floor.

Patience frantically tried to break free from his grasp, clawing and scratching at him. 'I… am… not…being… locked… up...' She hissed, crawling along the deck, kicking him as he pulled her legs.

'Well do as yer told then,' he panted, smiling as he found himself straddling her. Quick as a flash, he pressed his lips against hers, savouring the taste of her mouth for just a moment. Pulling away, amidst the raucous cheering of his crewmates, he leapt from the cell, slamming the door shut and turning the key just as she reached it, handing it to Jack who was grinning at the entertainment she had given them. Pocketing the key, he raised an eyebrow and turned, heading back up onto the deck.

'Ya scum. Ya filthy, stinkin' slimy toad! Ya need think yer'll get away with that. I ain't openin' me legs fer ya. Ever!'

'Are but ye will, me lovely Imp, ye will.'

'Ya probably a eunuch too. Just like yer captain.'

'D'ye want me ter show you as well?' he chuckled, reaching for the laces on his breeches.

'Let me borrow yer captain's spyglass... I'll probably be needin' it!' her voice dripped with sarcasm.

'Ye wound me, Patience,' he grinned, turning away to leave her as he pushed past the throng of men, wincing as some of the claps on his back connected with where Patience's fists had pummelled him. He glanced back as he reached the bottom of the stairs, surprised to hear no response from her. His crewmates dispersed, chuckling to themselves as they went, but as he looked at her, he was surprised to see her silent, her face pale as she turned away from him. Shrugging, he climbed back up the stairs, following the others to the main deck.

…

Jenny sat on the floor in front of Sarah, the goat, and placed the pail in position then started milking her, singing softly as she did. Her ears pricked up at the sound of John and some others coming into the galley, all in high spirits and she wondered what about.

'Gawd she's a right one an' no mistake,' Pete Symmonds laughed. 'I'd love ter see Shay's back an' ribs.'

'Poor sod,' Billy Wheeler sympathised whilst laughing along with his mates. 'I can't believe the Cap'n did that though!'

'Did ya hear what she said to him?' The men roared with laughter. 'Ain't very big are ya?' Jonh mimicked, holding his sides.

'What is going on?' Jenny asked from the doorway of the side cabin where the animals where kept.

'Ah… nothin' Jen, just havin' a bit of a laugh, ya know,' Pete smiled nervously at her.

'What did Jack do?'

'Nothin', nothin' at all…'

'I am waiting…' she warned, folding her arms and tapping her foot.

'He-he drew his sword on Patience!' Billy put in, pleased that he had found a plausible reason to give to her.

Jenny arched an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. 'He drew a sword on her…? Why?'

'He ordered Shay ter take her down th'brig an' she managed ter escape from him,' John explained, having the good grace to look embarrassed.

'So he ordered her to the brig? Why?'

'She refused ter work.' Pete gulped as he remembered that Jenny had been thrown into the brig by Jack a couple of times and threatened at least once more that he could remember.

'So, he ordered her to be locked up because she refused to work, he ordered Shay to take her down there, he drew a sword on her when she managed to escape Shay's clutches. Anything else I should know…?'

'Ah… erm… no. Nothing Jen.'

'You're all liars, the lot of you!' she spat angrily. 'What did you find so funny earlier?' The tapping foot almost took on a drum beat as she waited for one of the hapless men to reveal what they clearly did not want to. 'You have a count of three. One…. two… th…'

'He'll kill us fer sure,' Billy fretted, fidgeting about anxiously.

'And just what do you think I will do to you if you don't tell me?' she asked, glowering at the young man.

'He dropped his britches in front of her,' Pete said in a small voice.

'He did what?!' she exploded. 'Do you mind informing me as to why?' she asked icily, the glower getting darker by the minute.

'They were arguing, she made some comment. I didn't hear what exactly.'

'Right! That does it!' She pushed her way past the three men and stormed from the galley and along the corridor.

'Here we go again…' Pete said, then grinned and the men raced to get out of the door to follow her.

'Jack Sparrow!' she yelled at the top of her voice. 'Where the hell are you, you bloody dog?' She clambered up the steps to the deck and looked around for him, spotting him by the mizzenmast, talking to Mr. Gibbs.

'Jack Sparrow!' she called once more, marching over to him.

'Wha…?' his words were cut off as Jenny slapped him soundly then slapped him again when he straightened up.

'You dropped your bloody breeches in front of Patience?' she shrieked, advancing on him as he backed away.

'Whoa. Hold on Jen… Jen, I'm sorry luv. It was a spur of the moment… Jen!' he turned tail and ran as she picked up a bucket of dirty water and flung it towards him, missing him by mere inches.

'I'll give you spur of the moment, you dirty bastard,' she shouted, chasing after him as he ran as fast as he could down the steps to their cabin.

Jack cursed as he realised he wasn't going to shut the door in time to stop her coming through and so moved quickly to the far side of the cabin, smiling sheepishly. 'Jen…' He reached out a placating hand towards her as she moved slowly across the cabin, a menacing gleam in her eyes. 'Look luv, I didn't think. She just got me riled, savvy?'

'I'll give you bleedin' savvy in a minute,' she snarled, picking up a large stone that he used to weigh down the charts, from the table and hurling it at him, smiling with satisfaction as he ducked out of the way, a look of alarm on his face. She looked around to see what else she could use and grinned wickedly as she saw the heavy silver candlestick that she so admired. She picked it up and dangled it from her fingers, watching as his eyes grew wider in alarm.

'No Jen. Now that's enough, eh?'

'Nowhere near enough, Jack Sparrow.' She drew her arm back and pitched it at him, jumping in spite of herself as it crashed into the bulkhead, making a dent in the wood.

'I'm sorry,' he pleaded, moving around the cabin to try and reach the door. 'I won't do it again.'

'Damn right you won't. And just why have you locked Patience up?'

'She refused ter work.' He inched around a little more.

'And if I refuse to work? Will you lock me up as well?'

'If ya carry on like this, I might be tempted,' he retorted, realising, too late, that it was entirely the wrong thing to say.

'You might be tempted? I'd like to see you bloody well try and lock me up, you uncaring sod. And you need think you are getting out of that door,' she snapped, racing across the cabin and locking the door, dropping the key down the front of her shirt. 'Now just what happened with you and Patience? And don't you dare leave anything out.'

'I told her she had ter work, she refused. Vehemently.' He eased his aching shoulder slightly. All the running around and dodging missiles had taken their toll on it. 'I threatened her with th'brig an' she still refused. Vehemently.'

'Why did you drop your breeches?' Jenny had to admit to being surprised at his action, for although Jack could be vulgar and uncouth at times, he wasn't usually this bad.

'She accused me of being all mouth an' no breeches,' he pouted, looking hurt.

Jenny crooked an eyebrow and looked at Jack's groin with some amusement. 'Did she now? And you thought you'd prove otherwise?'

'Huh! The little madam said I wasn't very big…'

Jenny bit her lip hard to stop from laughing but it was a helpless task and she put her hand up to her mouth and sniggered into it, finally giving in and laughing out loud. 'She said that?' she grinned, thoroughly enjoying his discomfort.

'Aye,' he admitted, the pout turning into a sulk. 'In front of th'crew an' all.'

'Oh Jack…' she giggled, shaking her head. 'You've met your match in that one. What happened next?'

'I had ter get someone ter take her down, Shay seemed as good an option as any, so he carried her down to th'lower deck, everyone else followin', me included. She's poundin' hell out of him an' he eventually drops her. She tries ter escape and I draw me sword ter stop her. She refused me command, Jen. If I didn't have her locked up I would lose th'respect of th'men.'

'She's not a member of the crew though,' she reminded him, slowly starting to relax.

'Neither were you, but you obeyed me an' worked.'

'Only just,' she snorted, remembering the argument they had had on the same subject. 'Shall I go and have a word with her, see if I can talk her around?'

'Nah, let's see if Shay can first, eh?'

'You think he has set his cap at her?'

'He's followin' her around like a bloody puppy! Be interestin' ter see if he can tame th'little hellcat.'

'Before you two manage to kill each other,' Jenny smiled sardonically.

'I can't help it. I hate Tortugan women – they're all th'same.'

'Ah! That's why you kidnapped me then?'

'Maybe…' he mused, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes. 'Now, where did ya put that key…?'

'Jack…' she warned, backing away from him and pulling a face as she came against the door.

'Ya've got nowhere ter go now, missy,' he grinned, reaching out for her.

Jenny frowned and turned around, looking at the door. 'Bugger off!' she yelled, smiling as she heard the pounding of feet as the crew hurried to get away from the scene.

'I see your arm is getting better,' she remarked as he wound both arms around her waist.

'Hmm,' he murmured as he kissed the nape of her neck, grateful that she had her hair pinned up for once. 'Much, much better…'

'Are we still talking about your arm here?' she enquired, running her hands down his buttocks, feeling them tense the lower she got.

'Hmm. Perhaps not,' he chuckled, moving to her ear. 'Why don't we make ourselves more comfy, eh?'

'What has got into you lately? We're copulating like rabbits.'

'I hope that isn't a complaint?' he grumbled, good naturedly as he led the way to the bunk.

'You know it isn't,' she murmured, stroking his face as he turned to face her.

'We're goin' ter be seperated soon and yer goin' ter be too big fer it to be comfortable, so I'm makin' th'most of every opportune moment, savvy?'

'Savvy,' she smiled as he started to undress her.

…