Usual disclaimers but I hope to get round them for Christmas!

I am going to quote three figures for you all, see if you can work out what they are: 54, 73, 6…

With thanks to Hils, beatlechicksteph, Orlando's Hot Chick, Galleria, A Depp Girl, Mrs Depp, Roxila's Bride and Chesley for reviewing. Chelsey, I'm glad you found the chapter funny, no-one else seemed to… :(

…

Chapter Thirteen: 'Arguing wi'one woman is more than enough, even fer me!'

Jenny watched through her eyelashes as Jack sat up on the bunk and gently eased his shoulder around. She knew it troubled him more than he let on and she was worried for him. He hissed with pain and she opened her eyes fully, frowning in sympathy.

'You have to take things easier Jack,' she chided.

'How can I?' he asked. 'If th'crew think I'm unfit ter lead then they could vote me out. What'd happen ter me then? What would happen ter you?' He sighed heavily and sank back down beside her, stroking her belly. 'All that's gone before, all the good plunder an' the fact that I'm one o'the best pirate captains will count fer nothing if they don't think I'm capable any more.'

'I see,' she replied quietly. Jenny hadn't thought of the consequences of Jack's injury. 'They wouldn't, would they?'

'I honestly don't know,' he admitted. 'There are a couple of men who like ter stir trouble. It would only take one o'them ter start whisperin'… That's why I'm goin' ter give th'men extra booty when we get to Isla de Muerta. Sweeten' them so they stay keen, stay loyal whilst I'm with you.'

'You can't stay. It's too risky.'

Jack closed his eyes. He wanted to stay with her for a time. He needed to stay with her to have a chance to heal properly. But he also recognised the truth in her words. It was risky.

'Please Jack,' she begged, looking at him beseechingly.

'Only I know how ter get to th'isle. If they mutiny, they lose everything. I doubt they're willin' ter risk that.'

'Surely others know the bearings?'

'No. After Barbossa, I never revealed ter anyone else what th'bearings are. I always take th'helm when we get in th'vicinity.'

'You won't be able to this time,' she reminded him.

'Yes I will,' he replied determindly. 'I have to. Now…' Jack rolled over and latched onto her mouth, stopping any more arguments from forming. 'Where were we?' he asked between kisses.

…

Jack lay in Jenny's arms, dozing, when a knock on the door interrupted his reverie. 'What?' he snapped.

'Can I have a word, Jack?' came Shay's voice.

'Is it important?' he demanded, trying to decide whether to get up and deal with Shay or stay where he was.

'It's about Patience,' the Irishman began.

'Get up…' Jack thought to himself and clambered from the bunk, picking up his breeches from the floor.

'She's agreed t' work her passage...'

'Eh?!' Jack thought, knocking the stone from the table as he overbalanced whilst pulling on his breeches. He retrieved the key from his pocket and unlocked the door.

'She's what?' he gasped in disbelief, looking at his crewman suspiciously. 'You been usin' yer Irish charm on her?'

'Well I might have done,' Shay grinned. 'An' she has agreed ter be polite ter ye, if ye are polite ter her.'

'Pah! Aren't I always, despite her provocation?'

'Well she's had a hard time of it, ye can't blame her fer being defensive,' he countered.

'Defensive?! That hellcat? All right, all right. Let's go an' see her then.'

'That's right,' came Jenny's voice from within the cabin. 'Leave me for another woman!'

'Well if ya want ter continue ter work in th'galley…'

'Not really,' she admitted, pulling on a dress hurriedly. She wanted to go and see if any more sparks would fly between Jack and the young Tortugan woman.

Patience looked up as she heard footsteps, none too happy at the sight of the man who had ordered her locked up but feeling a little better when she saw Jenny standing at the bottom of the stairs. At least it meant that Jack might be on his best behaviour.

'Do ye still hold ter yer promise?' Shay asked her, praying that she would.

'I gave me word, didn't I?' she retorted.

'Let's hear ya say it then. Jack stood in front of the cell, arms folded across his bare torso.

'I want ter know what I'm agreein' to first,' she sniped, standing up and facing him through the bars. 'What exactly d'ya mean by work?'

'Yer t'do anything I tell ya to, th'same as everyone else on board this ship. If I want ya ter cook, ya cook. If I want yer t'scrub th'decks, ya scrub th'decks. If I want ya ter mend sails, ya mend sails, savvy?'

Patience nodded slowly, relieved to see him reach for the brig keys and unlock the cell door. 'But anythin' doesn't include me body, just work - right?'

'Of course it doesn't include yer body. Unless Shay finally charms his way around ya,' he grinned, winking at his friend.

She snorted derisively. 'He wouldn't know what ter do wi'me…'

'Ah, d'ye want me ter show ye, cailin?' Shay teased. 'I'd make ye never want another man again.'

Patience looked at him and cocked an eyebrow before walking to him and pulling him down to a long and passionate kiss. 'I owed ya that one,' she said before she turned sharply and walked away. 'Now, where's this galley, Sparrow?'

'That's Captain Sparrow ter you. Remember, politeness is part of th'agreement.'

'Captain Sparrow…'

'That's better.'

Shay shook himself from his reverie, his lips still tingling from this kiss. 'I'll show ye where th'galley is,' he called, dashing past an amused Jenny and bounding up the steps two at a time, finally catching up with Patience halfway along the corridor.

'Well, well, well.' Jack and Jenny exchanged glances and burst out laughing. 'Sooner him than me, thank ya very much,' he grinned, wrapping his arm around her. 'Yer more than enough ter keep me on me toes.'

'Do I take that as a compliment?' She looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

'I think ya'd better luv,' he laughed. 'Arguing wi'one woman is more than enough, even fer me!'

…

'Th'galley's this way,' Shay announced smiling, pausing to look at Patience. 'Any chance o' another kiss?' he ventured as he led the way down another corridor.

'Ya couldn't handle a Tortugan woman,' she cautioned.

'If ye can handle an Irish woman, ye can handle anything,' he retorted. 'I'm Irish an' not afraid o' th' challenge.'

'I thought ye said ye were from Erin?' Patience puzzled.

'I am, cailin,' he smiled. 'Erin is the poetic name fer Ireland.'

'Ain't one fer Tortuga,' she shrugged.

'There's not much ter be poetic about in Tortuga,' he remarked dryly.

'There's nothin' wrong with Tortuga!' Patience retorted, defending her home.

'Apart from th' fact that it is over-run with pirates, whores an' other dregs of society… apart from the fact that th' terrain is about as inhospitable as ye can get…' He grinned at her. 'No, there ain't too much wrong wi'Tortuga.'

'It was my home!' she argued.

'Yer th' only good thing ter come out of it,' he grinned.

'Yer tryin' ter flatter me again?' she frowned.

Shay put his hand to his chest, looking at her from beneath his long lashes. 'Me? Of course I am!'

'Why?' she demanded. 'I don't understand yer Erinman! I'm not used t' people bein' nice.'

'Well get used ter it, Imp, 'cos I'm rarely nasty,' he said softly.

Patience looked up at him, confusion clear on her face. 'Why do you want me?' she asked bluntly.

Shay leaned towards her. 'Ye've got beautiful golden hair, beautiful Irish eyes an' fire in yer belly,' he replied, a smile flitting across his face. 'What's not ter like?'

'I said why do you want me, not why do you like me! Answer me straight Erinman!' she demanded.

'Apart from ye body?' He grinned at the flare of anger in her eyes. 'I want ter look after ye. I want ter make sure that th' likes of Hoskins can never hurt ye again.'

'Yer mean like a relationship, a proper relationship?' she puzzled. 'Ya want me ter be yer woman?'

'Yes,' Shay admitted. 'What's wrong wi' that?'

'I've never had… I don't know how…' she said, clearly flustered.

'Ye want th' truth? Neither have I, so let's learn together, eh?' he ventured.

'Perhaps,' she replied, judging his words carefully. 'I could try…'

'Does that mean I can kiss ye whenever I want?' he asked eagerly.

'Maybe - but never lie to me!' she warned.

'I wouldn't dare, cailin,' he assured her. 'Not that I'd want to anyway.' He looked at her hopefully. 'Can I kiss ye now?' he asked, praying for an affirmative answer.

'Do ye want to?' she frowned.

'That's a daft question!' he laughed. 'Of couse I want to!' He paused, the two of them standing apart as two crewmen he did not know well walked past them. 'Shall we go somewhere a little more private?' he suggested.

'I have to go to the galley. Spar… Captain Sparrow said so,' she said, smiling uncertainly at him.

'Ah, that can wait a while longer,' Shay retorted blithely. 'I'll tell him we got lost.'

'As long as I don't get thrown in th' brig again,' she worried.

'I'll say I led ye astray,' he grinned, unlocking a nearby store room and pulling her into it, taking the key from a hook at the side of the door.

'It's dark in here!' Patience protested, worrying on hearing him putting the key into the lock from the inside. 'Please… no!'

'Yer not afraid of th' dark, are ye,' he murmured, his warm breath tickling her face.

'No, should I be?' she retorted, her voice waivering. 'But I am afraid o' bein' locked up,' she admitted.

'Why?' he asked softly, clearly puzzled, her behaviour in the brig slowly making sense to him as she spoke.

'I got shut in a cupboard when I was five. A man attacked me mother an' I couldn't get out. I didn't know if she was alive or dead until th'morning when th'other whores came ter look fer us. Please, unlock th' door,' she begged.

'Ye don't have t' be afraid with me here,' he assured her, but unlocked the door anyway. He leaned down, kissing her deeply, smiling to himself as he felt her kiss him back. His hands reached about her, holding her close and caressing her back. He frowned, feeling a number of ridges on her back through the thin fabric of her dress. 'What's this?' he asked.

'Valentine's kisses,' she said bitterly, moving his hands away from her back. 'An' I thought yer were kissin' me?' she reminded him.

'I'm sorry, cailin,' he chuckled. 'Yer can't blame me fer gettin' carried away with such a gorgeous woman in me arms now, can ye?' He reached for her back again, stroking the ridges. 'What did th' bastard do t' ye?' he asked softly.

'He beat me an' dismissed me,' she said, clearly not wishing to talk about it further.

'I'm sorry, me darlin',' Shay apologised. 'I wish we could have killed them for ye.'

'They'll find me eventually,' she said quietly. 'I know it. Valentine ain't one ter let a betrayal like mine go unpunished.'

'Then I'll just have ter look after ye. I won't let him hurt ye, Patience,' he assured her. 'I swear.' He felt her nod, her lips moving against his. 'Come on,' he muttered regretfully. 'I'd best get yer to th' galley before Jack comes lookin' fer us an' throws us both in th' brig.'

Patience kissed him once more and followed him out of the store, looking slightly dishevelled, amid a barrage of cheers and whistles. She stopped dead, turning to Shay in dismay before turning on the loitering men who were handing money about between them, grinning at Shay. Clearly bets had been taken and the majority had lost.

'What th'bleedin' hell are you lot gawping at?' Patience demanded, not having wanted her new-found friendship with Shay becoming ship's scuttlebut so soon. 'Ain't th' Captain got any work fer yer useless turds?'

The men scattered, a few pushing cautiously past the couple, patting Shay on the back as they fled Patience's sharp tongue. 'Yer made me a fortune!' Billy Wheeler grinned as he hurried by. 'They didn't think yer'd have th'courage!'

'Ye knew?' she gasped, turning on Shay in shock.

He held up his hands in surrender. 'Not a thing, I promise ye!' he defended. 'Honest!'

She glared at him for a moment, before following him down the corridor to the galley, where she stopped dead, staring in horror at the goats and hens in the side cabin nearby. 'Tell me he doesn't expect me ter care fer them?' she asked him in dread. 'I don't do animals!'

'Then what ya doin' with Shay here?' a voice laughed from nearby and she turned to see John the cook leaning against the doorframe. 'You!' he accused, pointing a finger at Shay. 'You cost me money!' Shay merely grinned innocently.

'He was showin' me th' way here,' Patience evaded, recognising the man from amongst those in the corridor. 'Captain Sparrow says I'm ter help ya. An' Shay's not an animal!'

'That's not what Giselle…' He broke off at the look in Shay's eyes. 'Ahem, can yer cook?' John asked, with some reluctance. He enjoyed working with Jenny and the last thing he wanted was this sharp tongued Tortugan woman in his galley.

'I can cook,' she replied. 'Giselle never complained when she ate at m' house.'

John raised his eyebrows at her. Things were certianly not going to be as quiet as with Jenny, that much was certain. 'Right – well, if yer t' help me then ye can start on th' pile o' dishes!' He pointed to an enormous pile of dirty wooden bowls from the evening meal. 'An' I expect th' Captain has chores fer yer too!' he told Shay with a sarcastic tone, smirking as the young Irishman leaned down to kiss Patience before leaving.

…

'Mornin' Connelly!' Jack drawled, leaning against the bulkhead of the corridor and grinning broadly as Shay sneaked from Olabisi's cabin, leaving Patience sleeping.

'Ah… um… mornin' Ja… Captain,' the young Irishman grinned sheepishly. 'I'm not late fer me duties, am I?'

'Nah, not late at all,' Jack smiled. In fact, yer a little earlier than I expected ya ter be.'

'Right… well I'll get along then.' Shay flashed another rueful smile at his older friend and hurried past him.

'Ah… Shay!' Jack called. 'Yer shirt's hangin' out….'

Shay groaned as he heard the laughter of his crewmates following him down the corridor. He had hoped his liason with Patience would have gone un-noticed.

'Right yer scabrous dogs,' Jack slurred once Shay was out of earshot. 'I believe I won that particular wager,' he grinned, holding his hand out.

'I didn't think he'd be mad enough ter get in her knickers, let alone do it this quick' John muttered, handing over his coins.

'Or brave enough,' Billy put in, adding his coins to those piling up in Jack's palm. 'Who wants ter bet that another crewman'll have her?'

'I'll give it a try!' Davy Phillips laughed. 'Although I might get some chainmail from somewhere…'

The men roared with laughter until Jack held his hands up. 'Nah.' He shook his head. 'No more wagers on th'girl. Besides, I've a feelin' Shay'd kill 'em before they got a chance.'

…

The figures quoted were I'm on the favourites list of 54 members, author alert list of 73 members and yet only 6 of you reviewed the last chapter – it can get a little disheartening. I know RL intrudes on peoples lives, but it also intrudes on mine and yet I always find the time to update more regularly than a lot of authors do.

Ani gets off her soapbox…

Hilary and I have done the Shay and Patience story in more detail, told from their point of view. If anyone is interested in it, email me and we will arrange to send it you, chapter at a time.