Chapter Title: My Immortal
Rating: PG
Summary: Harry finds himself haunted by nightmares of Sirius as things in the wizarding world reach a dangerous boiling point.
"I've tried so hard to tell myself you're gone
And though you're still with me
I've been alone all along"
-- "My Immortal" by Evanescence
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The floor cold against the soles of his feet, Harry felt his way down the darkened hallway. He walked slowly, the palm of his hand trailing carefully across the wall as he moved. Feeling for the change of texture from the roughened walls to the smoothness of a wooden door.
He needed to find the door.
His pace quickened as the feeling of running out of time took a hold of him. He squinted, trying to will his eyes to suddenly find light where there was none. His breathing seemed unusually loud against his eardrums, bouncing back and forth against the walls as he continued his search.
He needed to find the door.
His breath caught in the back of his throat as he felt his hand finally trail across smooth wood. He blindly felt for the doorknob, still holding his breath as he feared the door would be locked. To his relief, however, the knob turned and he carefully pushed the door open.
Light blinded him, and he raised his hands to shield his eyes, to give them time to adjust. He lowered it slowly, peering over his fingers into the center of the room. He could hear only his heart pounding in his ears as he lay eyes on the archway, the black veil laying perfectly over it.
Harry found himself standing arm's length from the archway and glanced over his shoulder towards the doorway. He couldn't recall taking the steps from one point to the other, and yet here he was. He turned his eyes back to the veil, his mouth dry.
Harry.
Harry blinked.
The veil simply fluttered against some unseen wind.
Harry.
He had heard it that time; he was certain. Had heard his name. Had heard the voice. Sirius's voice.
"Sirius?" he asked, his voice full of hope and his stomach full of butterflies.
Harry.
Harry reached out with a tentative hand, his fingers hovering over the veil. All he had to do was touch it, pull it away. Just one simple move of his fingers, his wrist, and he would have Sirius back.
He would have his life back.
Harry grabbed the veil in his hand and froze, the fabric bunched between his fingers. He watched as the edge of the veil slowly raised itself, drifting up to his arm and coiling itself around him. His heart racing again, Harry tried to pull away but found the veil only tightened as it continued to wrap itself around his arm.
Harry.
Harry held his breath at the voice, tugging even harder on his arm to free it. That was not the same voice he had heard earlier. No, this voice he had heard many times before. This voice he had heard in his own head the previous year, had heard it tell Dumbledore to end Harry's pain.
This was not the voice of his godfather.
This was the voice of his enemy.
This was the voice of Voldemort.
Harry tugged fiercely at his arm, as the voice called out to him more tauntingly. The veil wrapped itself up to his shoulder, quickly snaking its way around his neck. With his free hand, Harry tried to pry the fabric away but found his efforts useless as the veil only constricted more tightly around his throat. He gasped for air as he clawed at the fabric.
If he could just get it off….
If he could just get one more breath….
If he could just….
His last thought fell away as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he lost consciousness.
Harry awoke with a start, covered in a cold sweat and gasping for air. He held in a frustrated groan as he tried to untangle himself from his sheets, which he had somehow managed to wrap himself up in during the course of the night. Free of his sheets, he laid still for a moment, the heels of his hands pressing against his eyes.
He'd thought he was past the nightmares, the haunts. He had apparently thought wrong.
With a sigh, he kicked the sheets away and sat up. Trying not to wake his roommates, he slipped from bed and opened his trunk. He pulled on a pair of sneakers and grabbed his invisibility cloak, gently closing the lid of the trunk back into place.
He needed to get out, to clear his mind. He was certain he wouldn't find sleep again tonight anyway so there was no real point in lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, and waiting for the sun to rise.
Harry grabbed his glasses from the side of his bed and quietly made his way out of the room, hoping that by the time he returned, the sun would be up and the night would be behind him yet again.
----------
Harry took his normal seat across from Hermione and Ron at the Gryffindor table with a yawn.
He had returned to his room that morning just as the sun had begun to rise. Locking his cloak up in his trunk, he had returned to his bed, but he didn't sleep. He had laid and stared out the window until he heard the familiar sounds of his roommates waking and shuffling sleepily around the room. Even though he had been the first one awake, Harry had been the last to drag himself from bed and get ready, telling Ron that he'd just meet him in the Great Hall when he was ready.
Harry began to fix his plate and pour himself a glass of juice as Ron greeted him with what could have been a "good morning" but was slightly muffled by a mouthful of eggs. Hermione glanced up from her Daily Prophet (which she had taken to studying every possible free moment she had after reading about the missing people over a week ago) and smiled as she greeted him.
"Rough night?" she asked as Harry yawned again.
He shook his head. "Just tired is all."
She nodded and returned to her paper as Ginny appeared and took the remaining empty seat beside Harry. "Morning," she offered up with a weak smile as she poured herself a cup of juice.
Ron raised an eyebrow at his little sister in response. "You've been sleeping in a lot lately."
"Didn't realize that was a crime," she frowned back.
Without even looking up from her paper, Hermione sighed. "Could you two please leave all sibling bickering 'til after lunch?"
Harry poked at his food as he watched Hermione intently reading her paper. He frowned slightly. "Any news from Rita?"
Hermione finally looked up, exhaling deeply. "No, not yet. I'm hoping to get an owl from her by the end of the day."
Harry nodded as Ginny spoke up from beside him. "Wait, why are you writing that lady?"
"Because of the missing people, Ginny," Ron replied before taking a large gulp of juice. "The ones I told you about a few days ago. Keep up with us here."
Ginny threw him a look before turning her gaze to Hermione and then Harry. "You guys really think he's behind it?"
Hermione and Harry shared a look across the table before Hermione gave Ginny a tentative nod. "It's a possibility," she said. "Which is why we're trying to find out as much information as possible."
Ron frowned. "I feel like a prat saying this, but I kinda hope they're just random missing people."
"I think we all do," Harry replied, returning his friend's frown.
Hermione simply nodded and returned to her reading. They all ate in silence for a while, no one sure what else to say. It wasn't until Hermione nearly knocked over her glass of juice that the silence was broken.
"What?" Harry, Ron, and Ginny all asked at once.
Hermione looked up at her friends and then folded her paper carefully and handed it to Harry. "Two Aurors were killed last night," she said quietly.
Harry held her stare for a moment before finally glancing down at the article for himself. He read silently as he felt his pulse begin to race.
"But, but that's a dangerous line of work, right?" Ginny asked, as if to convince herself that this was nothing out of the ordinary.
"Yeah, especially when you're dealing with Death Eaters," Harry replied darkly, handing the paper back to Hermione.
Ron choked on his drink. "Death Eaters?"
Hermione nodded, slowly refolding her paper back to its original state. "The Ministry of Magic is looking into it, but they're considering it as a possibility." She sighed before continuing. "Which unfortunately seems like a likely possibility. With Voldemort back, his followers are more than likely to come out of the woodworks. Old and new."
Ginny shifted uncomfortably in her chair but said nothing.
"Which makes the whole random disappearances seem even less random," Harry concluded.
"It does," Hermione replied with a nod. She quickly began to gather her things, slipping her copy of The Daily Prophet into her schoolbag.
"Where are you going?" Ron asked as he watched her stand.
"To owl Rita again. We need to find out what's going on before we're too late." She swung her bag over her shoulder. "I'll see you all in class."
With that, she hurried out of the Great Hall, her friends watching her depart. Once she was gone, silence took over the table again. Ron poked at his food for a moment before slowly making a move to finish off his plate. Ginny followed her brother's actions, eating quietly and avoiding looking at either boy. Harry stared at his plate, his stomach suddenly feeling as if it were full of lead. He pushed the plate away with a frown before grabbing his bag from the floor.
"I'm heading to class," he mumbled.
Ron simply nodded, understanding Harry's need to be away at the moment. Grateful, Harry gave his friend a small smile before leaving the table, and with every step he took, all he could think about were the two dead Aurors and what it would mean in the long run.
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"So you don't know anything?"
Ginny sat on the floor of the hallway, tapping her fingers against the concrete. She watched as Malfoy leaned against the wall opposite of her with an irritated sigh.
"What am I supposed to know?" he asked, crossing his arms.
"I don't know," she frowned. "Your family is full of Death Eaters; you should know something."
"Hate to disappoint you, Ginny, but I don't know anything about the two dead Aurors."
Ginny stood with a frustrated groan. "Nothing at all? I'm supposed to believe that?"
"Believe what you want," he shrugged. "It's the truth."
"I didn't know you knew the definition of that word."
Malfoy stepped up to her, sneering. "Funny how that doesn't bother me coming from the girl sneaking around behind her brother's back."
"I'm not sneaking."
"Really?" He took another step towards her, and she took an instinctive step backwards, her back running into the wall. "So what do you call this then?"
"A horrible lapse in judgement," she spat back.
She made a move to leave, and he threw his arm up, blocking her exit.
"Is it? Let's not forget that you owled me, Ginny."
"Because I wanted information," she argued. "Not because I wanted to snog you in some nasty grimy hallway."
Malfoy simply grinned and leaned in, kissing her roughly. Ginny returned the kiss for a moment before pushing him away, hard. Malfoy stumbled away from her with a chuckle.
"G'night, Malfoy," she frowned, starting away.
"Night, Weasley," he laughed, arms folded.
Ginny threw him a hateful glare before quickly making her way out of the corridor.
----------
Harry and Ron sat quietly in the Gryffindor common room, Ron working on his recent Transfiguration assignment and Harry staring blankly at the open Defense Against Dark Arts text in his lap. He glanced over at the empty chair by the fireplace that Hermione usually occupied this time of night.
After dinner, she had informed them that she was going to check the owlery to see if she had received any late night post from Rita.
Harry both needed and feared what new information that Rita could provide for them. With one simple letter, she could verify that this was all the work of Voldemort. Verify that Harry's worst fears were correct and that the time was now or never.
Harry opened his mouth to ask Ron how long it had been since they and Hermione had parted ways but found the question unnecessary as she walked into the common room, a letter bunched in her right hand. She wore a slightly worried look that did nothing to ease the queasiness in Harry's stomach.
Ron instantly pushed his work to the side. "Did she reply?"
Hermione nodded and sat in her chair, each boy's gaze focused solely on her. "She replied."
"And?" Harry asked, trying his best to ignore the sickening sensation in the pit of his stomach.
"The five missing people? They are connected," she sighed. "All five are graduates of Hogwarts and all five worked at the Ministry of Magic at some point in time."
Harry blinked. "Why wasn't that in the paper?"
"Because five random missing people doesn't strike panic in a population. Five people with connections to the Ministry?" She frowned. "Instant panic."
"So the Ministry was hiding that fact from the press?" Ron asked.
"Not the press," Hermione corrected with a shake of her head. "The public. They ordered that the Prophet not mention anything about the social status of the missing people."
"Which explains why their names weren't even in the article," Harry frowned, sitting back in his chair.
"So what do we do now?" Ron asked, his brow furrowed. "Tell Professor Dumbledore?"
"He probably already knows," Harry mumbled, thinking back to the previous year when Dumbledore seemed to already know everything he didn't.
"I don't think there's really anything we can do," Hermione frowned. "Not yet anyway."
"Not until he brings the war right to us," Harry replied, closing his book angrily.
Hermione and Ron shared a look, neither really wanting to be the one to provoke their friend by saying anything else. Before either could even form a proper response, Harry stood, gathering his things.
"I'm heading to bed."
Hermione watched him sadly. "Night, Harry."
"See you in a bit, mate," Ron replied quietly.
Harry simply nodded at his friends before disappearing up the stairs to his room.
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Harry woke abruptly, nearly falling out of his bed as he wrestled with the demons of his dreams. He sighed loudly, kicking his sheets away in anger. All he wanted was one night when he didn't wake up covered in sweat, gasping for air. Just one night where his dreams didn't physically drain him to the point of exhaustion. Just one night where he could sleep without incident until the sun rose.
Just one.
Harry climbed quietly out of his bed, going through what had become a nightly routine recently. He grabbed everything he needed as he moved around the room in the dark. Shoes. Cloak. Glasses.
Harry wrapped the cloak around his body before slowly opening the door and sneaking out of his room, out of the tower.
He had wandered the halls so much the past week that he knew Filch's nighttime stroll through the hallways by heart. He knew which corridors he investigated first, which he paid very little attention to. He even knew at what times Filch and Mrs. Norris would take their breaks from the stroll and return to his office to rest for a bit.
Harry wandered the halls, his thoughts not on his nightmares as they usually were. Tonight, all he could think about were the five missing wizards and the two dead ones. He knew it had to be the work of Voldemort, and if not him directly, then some of his followers doing his bidding.
And there was nothing he could do about it.
He couldn't stop the murders that he was certain would continue to come. He couldn't bring back the missing people. All he could do was sit like a proper boy and wait for Voldemort to decide that it was time for Harry to be brought into the grand scheme.
Gritting his teeth, Harry fought to hold in the scream of frustration that he wanted so badly to release.
All these things were happening because of him, because Voldemort wanted to finish what he had started sixteen years ago. Innocent people were dying because Voldemort wanted to prove a point, and there wasn't a damn thing that Harry could do about it.
Harry stopped in his tracks as he heard a faint noise coming from one of the connecting hallways. He held his breath, trying to make out the sound.
Whatever it was, it was melodic….
It was humming.
If there was one thing Harry was certain of, it was that Filch didn't have a musical bone in his body and more than likely wouldn't be caught dead humming any tune. So who else would be roaming the halls at these hours and humming in a way that, if they weren't careful, would surely get them caught?
Harry quickly followed the sound, wondering whom he'd stumble across. He found that question answered as he noticed Luna further ahead in the hallway. She didn't seem too worried about getting caught as she continued on her way, oblivious to the way her humming seemed to echo in the stillness of the castle.
"Luna!" he called out quietly to her, hoping to catch her attention before Filch made his nightly round through this corridor.
He watched her turn at his voice and stare for a moment, trying to pinpoint where the voice had come from. Only then did Harry remember that he was wearing the invisibility cloak and quickly uncovered himself.
"Oh, hello Harry," she smiled as soon as he was visible.
He quickly made his way over to her, throwing a cautious glance back over his shoulder for Filch. "What are you doing out here?" he asked as soon as he was standing in front of her.
"Talking a walk," she stated casually. "I find it helps when I'm restless."
Restless.
He could definitely understand that feeling at the moment.
"Maybe you shouldn't hum when you take your walks," Harry offered. "Filch doesn't exactly like for us to be out of our towers after hours."
"That's a very neat trick you did," she replied, ignoring his warning.
"It's not a trick really." He shrugged, "Just an old cloak of my dad's."
"Do you use it often?"
"Um, well, only when I need to."
"You need to now?"
"Well, this way Filch won't see me. He's sorta had it in for me since day one." Harry frowned. "Like quite a number of people around here actually."
Luna raised an eyebrow at that. "I don't have it in for you."
Harry laughed quietly. "You're one of few."
Luna opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted by the sound of quiet meowing. Harry quickly glanced back down the corridor and could see Filch hastily making his way in their direction, muttering to Mrs. Norris under his breath.
Harry instantly moved out of the center of the hallway, grabbing Luna's arm and dragging her with him. "Quick, hold on to this!" he said quietly as he wrapped the cloak around both of them, Luna holding onto her end.
Mrs. Norris trotted by them, Filch right behind her. "Students roaming the halls all times of night," he growled. He turned to his cat. "Where'd you see them?"
Mrs. Norris stopped for a moment, her tail swishing slowly back and forth, before turning and trotting back over to them. Harry held his breath as Mrs. Norris seemed to be looking right through the cloak and at him and Luna. The cat took a tentative step towards them, and without thinking, Harry wrapped his free arm around Luna and pulled her back with him until his back was against the wall.
"What is it?" Filch asked the cat. He looked curiously at the spot Mrs. Norris seemed to be studying.
Go away. Leave. Go away.
Harry kept repeating the words in his head in some vain attempt for Mrs. Norris to read his thoughts and do as asked.
Just as Mrs. Norris raised a paw to bat at the cloak, a distinctive squeak came from further down the hallway. Her ears perked, she cocked her head in the direction of the sound. She quickly forgot about the two students that she had cornered as she turned and made her way to find the mouse that had made that noise.
Filch gave a disgusted groan. "Bloody cat," he muttered under his breath and started in the opposite direction in which Mrs. Norris had disappeared.
Harry watched Filch disappear, unaware that he had been holding his breath the entire time.
"That was interesting."
Harry instantly turned his head at Luna's voice, his nose bumping up against her forehead. In his need to not get caught, he had forgotten that he was still holding her body against his. A warm flush creeping up his neck, he instantly removed his arm from around her.
"Interesting?" he asked as Luna stepped out from under the cloak.
"That Mrs. Norris seemed to be able to see us," she replied, glancing in the direction in which the cat had disappeared.
"Yeah, she's done that before," he said with a nod. "She's the only one I've seen do that."
"They say cats have their own magical abilities," she said, turning back to him. "Perhaps that's one of them. To see things which humans can't."
"Who's they exactly?" Harry smirked.
"The rhetorical they who seem to have expert knowledge on everything of course," she stated matter-a-factly.
It was only when Harry saw her grin that he knew she was teasing him.
"Are you restless?" Luna asked as she brushed by him, walking in the direction from which Harry had come earlier.
Harry followed after her, soon walking in step beside her. "Restless?"
"The reason you're walking," she said, glancing at him.
"Oh that. Nightmares," he admitted with a shrug. "So I suppose you could say I'm restless."
"Oh!" she replied, excitement in her voice. "Is it the kind where you're falling?"
"Um, no…."
"Or perhaps it was the kind where you arrive naked to Potions class?"
Harry felt himself blush. "No. Though that will probably top my list of nightmares from now on."
"You know, I don't know why they're called nightmares," she said, pushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "They're just dreams like any other. No one says all dreams have to be happy."
"No, I suppose not," Harry frowned. "I just wish I could get rid of them."
Luna shrugged. "You can't get rid of them. You just have to learn to face them."
Harry's frown deepened. "And if I can't?"
"Well, it's quite easy really. Just remind yourself that it's nothing but a dream. That it's just your subconscious playing tricks on you."
"That simple, huh?" he asked, not entirely convinced.
She nodded. "That simple." She stopped, glancing in the direction of her tower. "I better head back. Have a good night, Harry."
"G'night, Luna."
She gave him a small wave before turning and making her way towards her tower, humming the song he had interrupted earlier in the night. Harry watched her disappear into the darkness before draping his cloak over himself again, starting off towards his own tower.
When returned to his room, he safely locked his things away in his trunk before climbing back into bed. He stared out his window with a frown. He still didn't feel like sleeping, but he didn't feel like roaming the hallways anymore tonight either.
He stared at the heather blossom Luna had given him the first week back to school. For good luck, she had said. Harry was beginning to think that he'd need an entire field in order to survive this year.
With a sigh, he closed his eyes, hoping to simply shut out the world for a few hours.