(A/N: I don't own Jewel or any of her music. Teeheeeee.)
Hitomi held tight - but not too tight - to the bundle in her arms as her and Gabriel stepped out of the hospital's dark interior and into the bright sunlight. When the light hit Tomo's face, he turned in Hitomi's arms. Turning back, she saw Steve's huge smile and him still waving from a window. She waved back as she clutched the paper with his phone number on it and slid into Gabriel's car.
When they arrived back at their flat, Hitomi immediately put the sleeping baby into his crib and came back out into the kitchen where Gabriel was cooking something on the stove. She wrapped her arms around him from behind and he set down his cooking utensils and turned to her. They stood silent for several moments, just holding onto each other.
For the first time, Hitomi noticed how weary her friend looked. "You should go shower then sleep," she said. "You look like hell."
He rolled his eyes. "Thanks, that's exactly what I needed to hear a day after birthing a baby."
"Need I remind you that I was the one that actually did the birthing?" Hitomi asked.
Gabriel shrugged and said, "So what? You actually had the kid but I had to deal with all the fatherly stress."
Hitomi's smile faded a bit at that. Knowing exactly why, the blonde man came closer to her and wrapped her in a one armed hug. He kissed her gently on the forehead. "I'm gonna go shower, take over the cooking, will you?"
She nodded and picked up the formerly abandoned utensils to finish his concoction that slightly resembled a scrambled omelette. As she went to check on her son, she heard the shower start up. What she couldn't figure out was how she could feel so happy, yet empty at the same time. She had something new to live for. But she couldn't help thinking that her original reason was long gone.
I hear the clock, it's 6 a.m.
I feel so far away from where I've been
I got my eggs, and my pancakes too
I got my maple syrup, everything but you
I break the yolks and make a smiley face
I kinda like it in my brand new place
I wipe the spots off of the mirror
Don't leave the keys in the door
I never put wet towels on the floor anymore 'cause
"I still miss you Van," she whispered quietly as she looked down at their son. "And I love you."
- - -
Dreams last so long, even after you're gone
I know that you love me
And soon you will see, you were meant for me
And I was meant for you
"Yes, Merle's up in her room." Merle's older brother looked out their front window. "Oh, and Dilandau's car is here so he's probably chilling up there too."
"Thanks," Millerna replied before she led the other three through the house.
She opened the door of their friend's room after knocking quietly. As soon as she entered, her eyes softened and she admired something. When Van, Allen, and Dryden stepped into the room, they could see what she was looking at.
Merle and Dilandau were curled up on her bed sleeping. The way that he was holding onto her let Millerna see, though only one of the boys caught it, that something had changed. Allen came up behind his girlfriend and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. For several minutes, no one did anything except admire the sleeping couple.
Van scuffed his foot on the ground roughly. He was happy for his friends, sure, but that didn't mean he didn't envy them. And it wasn't the fact that they had someone now, it was that he missed his former life. His life had left him and run to another city. For all he knew, she could be with another man. The thought agitated him and he pounded his hand on the side of his leg.
I called my momma, she was out for a walk
Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk
So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news
More hearts being broken or people being used
Put on my coat in the pouring rain
I saw a movie it just wasn't the same
'Cause it was happy, oh I was sad and
It made me miss you oh, so bad
Dryden rolled his eyes and walked forward towards their sleeping friends. "We gonna stand here all day and watch them sleep or are we actually going to go see this movie?"
"What?" The stars faded from Millerna's eyes. "Oh, yeah. We should wake them."
Her old ex-boyfriend shook his head, smiling. He reached out and shook Dilandau's arm lightly. "Hey man, we wanna go see this movie. You guys coming?"
Dilandau sat up which, in turn, work Merle. She rubbed her eyes and blinked up at her friends with large eyes. "Sorry," she muttered and stretched. Dilandau helped her off of her bed and within five minutes, they'd all tramped down the stairs and out of her house, her calling goodbyes over her shoulder.
The movie they went to was an old horror. The people on the movie screamed as zombies chased them down streets. Most of the people in the theatre - them and a handful of others - laughed as the camera zoomed in on the faces of the walking dead.
Van laughed along with his friends, but only on the outside. Since the accident, he had become more withdrawn. His family and friends had thought that only natural after sustaining memory loss and losing his partner. They could see he was slower to laugh or enjoy things and it had worried them until they realized that he was bound to change after the mental and physical injuries he had experienced.
After the movie, he walked home by himself, insisting he would be alright. Once he had entered his room, he lay on his bed and studied the picture of him and Hitomi. He found himself looking at it more and more often, wondering each time how someone who had claimed to love him so fully had left him in his one time that he needed her more than ever.
I brush my teeth and put the cap back on
I know you hate it, when I leave the light on
I pick up a book, and turn the sheets down
And take a deep breath and a good look around
Put on my PJs and hop into bed
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead
I try and tell myself it'll be all right
I just shouldn't think anymore tonight
For the first time, he let the grief he had felt since he remembered everything overcome him. Rolling onto his side, he bit his lip until he thought it would bleed. He brushed at his eyes brutally once and then sat up. Wandering over to his window, he could see the tree beside Hitomi's house. It only took him moments to crawl out his window, move to the tree and climb up into its branches. He sat there until he thought he would fall out of it from exhaustion.
"Goodbye Hitomi," he whispered before he crawled down from his vantage point. "I'll miss you."
- - -
Within the next several weeks, Hitomi, Steve, and Gabriel watched Tomo flourish. His weight doubled and he opened his eyes more often to look at them. Hitomi was happy her baby seemed healthy but she couldn't help but wonder why she had yet to see him smile. He would make noises and cry but neither had heard anything that resembled a laugh.
His hair darkened until it was a dark brown - somewhere between the colour of hers and Van's - and sometimes, when she saw his eyes, she would burst out crying. Gabriel came running in, on more than one occasion, to see her holding onto her son and sobbing.
"His eyes," she would gasp out each time. "So much like Van's." And she would cry again.
Gabriel would try to sooth her, knowing that it really wouldn't do much but he felt unable to watch her cry and sit helplessly. Sometimes he wondered if she actually was recovering. He knew her baby gave her another reason to be happy, but he couldn't help but think she was missing something else.
One night she was sitting on the couch, watching a television program and Gabriel was watching her. She was curled up and playing gently with her hair. When she turned and saw him staring at her, she smiled gently and stood up. She sat herself gently on his lap and put her head down on his shoulder. He hugged her and brushed her hair back slowly.
After a while she looked back up at him and he saw the tears streaming slowly down her face. He didn't think before leaning forward slowly and kissing her. Feeling her hesitate, he pulled back and looked into her eyes. She opened them and stared at him for a second before kissing him this time.
This went on for almost a quarter of an hour before Gabriel finally came to his senses. When he removed his mouth from hers, Hitomi took a deep breath.
"Please don't stop. I don't want to be cold anymore."
When he heard her say that, his heart almost broke. She watched as the pain he felt played across his face. Knowing she was the cause of it, she wanted to comfort him. Watching him uncertainly, she moved so she could kiss him again. He didn't respond, but pulled back again.
"Hitomi," he said seriously. "I'm not what you need. No matter how much you or I want me to be, I'm not."
Her eyes filled again but she didn't cry as he picked her up and carried her to her room. He set her in her bed and covered her with her blankets. She looked so small as he leaned down and kissed her softly beside her mouth.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly as he got up to go.
"Don't be. Ever."
You were meant for me and I was meant for you
(A/N: Hey guys. This chapter was a li'l sad. Mostly cuz I'm kinda sad. We won't go into it, okay? Okay. Well, here's a poem I wrote about a certain someone; I think it fits this chapter quite well. Please ask permission if you want to use it or take it or anything!
When I see you walking
I still cannot believe
How I can't stop staring
How I can hardly breathe
I've never met a person
Who can make me want to cry
Yet when I'm truly falling
Save me before I die
I know you don't get it
But I truly do
I mean it every time
I tell you I love you
How can I tell you
How I truly feel?
I know that if nothing else
You and me are real
I wish you would hold me
I wish I'd never gone
You can still deny it
But my love will still go on
I don't think I've ever missed anyone this badly
Review please. Cheer me up, will you? And cudos to all that guessed the coupling the last chapter was Merle and Dilly.)