Danny: No

Me: C'mon!

Danny: Never!

Me: Please?

Sam: What's going on?

Me: I'm planning on rewriting "A Series of Unfortunate Events" with DP characters, and I want Danny to be Klaus Baudelaire.

Danny: And I am saying no.

Me: There could be worse fates.

Danny: Like....

Me: Well, this disgusting thought of your dad hooking up with Vlad occasionally plagues my mind...and I do wanna make a sequel to MAAPOL

Danny: (glum) I'm all yours. (I'm draggin him off stage) At least it can't get much worse.

Disclaimer: I don't own Danny Phantom, or A Series of Unfortunate Events, or Cirque du Freak.

Like Mom and Apple Pie

It was two days since Danny and Sam last went to the Shadow Shoppe, and the entire school looked extremely different. Every person Sam saw was wearing some sort of black apparatus from the store. Even Dash and Paulina got caught up in the goth craze. Sam was walking to her fifth period class and noticed that Dash and his clique were just...hanging around in the hallways. The majority of what they were saying was "Blah blah blah Goth, blah blah blah punk, blah blah Evanescence, blah blah blah blah NNY."

"Dash." Sam asked raising an eyebrow. "You do know that 'blah' isn't a real word, and that you can't have a meaningful conversation if you just use it all the time."

"Why are you talking to me?" Dash asked nonchalantly.

"Because the fact that you're wearing stuff from Hot Topic is scaring me." Sam answered.

"Not Hot Topic." Quan corrected. "All About the Shadows."

"Yeah whatever," Sam said "Hot Topic, Shadow Shoppe what's the difference?!"

"There's plenty of difference!" Quan shouted. "Hot Topic's decent! All About the Shadows is like Heaven!!! And Malorie's our God!"

"Goddess," Dash corrected.

"Whatever!" Quan and Sam shouted as they threw their arms in the air. As they were yelling, Paulina ran down the hallway towards Dash and his clique. She was wearing a pleated hot pink skirt with black x's on every other pleat, a midriff tank top with translucent sleeves, tights with black and hot pink stripes, calf high boots with hot pink and black laces.

"Uhh..." Sam sputtered "Nice...outfit?"

"Yeah thanks whatever." Paulina said rudely as she walked towards Dash and the others. "Hey guys, wanna hear my new poem?"

"Sure," they all answered in a bored tone. Paulina took out a stained piece of paper, smoothed it out, and cleared her throat.

"I'm really bored. What interested me before no longer does. I'd kill myself but I like All About the Shadows too much." There was a bout of silence after Paulina's poem was recited, then Dash and Quan reluctantly applauded. Sam was just staring at Paulina bug-eyed, flabbergasted at the mere thought of a popular Hot Topic nut. The popular kids were staring at Sam strangely.

"What?" Paulina asked suspiciously, "You don't like my poem?"

"Um...erm..." Sam sputtered as a bead of sweat rolled down her face while she looked around for an escape route. The pack was closing in, confused and suspicious about the fellow goth. Suddenly, Sam whipped out her finger, pointed it down a hallway, and shouted "Look! A distraction!" While the others looked in the direction on Sam's finger, the frightened goth ran in the other direction.

A transfer student was walking to his locker. He wore a gothic outfit, strangely similar yet different to the outfits everyone else was wearing. He opened his locker, and had gotten a few textbooks out of his storage space decorated with bohemian baubles and bangles. There was a poster of Good Charlotte, a poster of Evanescence, patches of Blink-182 and Emily the Strange, and an Invader Zim plushie stuffed in the back. Amidst all of the blackened clutter, there was a broken mirror with a gilded frame and ornate carvings. The mirror glowed green and reverberated violently, as a young gray boy crawled out through the mirror.

He looked at what used to be his old locker, and grimaced at the unusual décor that now inhabited it.

"I've seen less black in a coal mine," he muttered as he phased through the locker door. He looked at his surroundings, and noticed that practically every kid in school was wearing some sort of punk or goth outfit. However, one student stuck out like a sore thumb, because she was whimpering running from a group of goth kids. As she saw the gray boy in the hallway she screamed in surprise.

"Poindexter?" she yelped. "What're you doing here? I thought Danny destroyed your mirror!"

"It still had some glass on it." Poindexter explained. "So I could still get through the mirror."

"That still doesn't explain what you're doing here." Sam countered.

"Umm...you know that one ghost Penelope Spectra?" Poindexter asked.

"Yeah, what about her?"

"Well, you see...She kinda came to my ghost school and is feeding off of the misery of my fellow students and I didn't wanna be constantly miserable so I fled here." Poindexter lied. Sam wondered briefly if a ghost could feed off other ghosts, but she dismissed it. Poindexter was about to continue talking when a young woman in a tight red outfit with a black visor and decals aimed a pistol-like object at him.

"Don't move, freak." The woman in the red outfit warned, "There's a ghost right behind you!"

"What?" Poindexter yelped as his eyes frantically darted around. "Where?" The woman just raised her silver pistol and shot out a beam of red ectoplasmic energy. It hit Poindexter, sending him flying into a row of lockers. When he finally got up, Poindexter was dazed and slurred, "I think she means me."

Oh joy. It's Valerie the Ghost Slayer. Sam thought irritably to herself. "Why'd ya do that? And I'm not a freak!"

"Listen, goth geek," the ghost hunter sneered, "I'm a ghost hunter. It's my job to make sure the citizens of Amity Park can sleep soundly at night without any ghost attacks. If you can't appreciate it, then maybe I shouldn't have saved you from that ghost."

"Saved?" Sam retorted, "I wasn't even in danger! This ghost's just a dead nerd."

"I'm not a nerd!" Poindexter retorted.

"He's not just any nerd." The ghost hunter said, "He's Sydney Poindexter, a self proclaimed nerd defender. A force to be reckoned with if you tease anyone."

"Yeah, but I know about the new ghost in here!" Poindexter interrupted. Both ladies turned and looked at him with astonishment.

"You know about the emotion eating mall ghost?" Valerie asked, surprised that the ghost knew about her next target.

"You know about Malorie?" Sam asked, just as surprised.

"You got it!" Poindexter said happily, "And I'm here to help!"

"What can you do to help?" the woman in red asked, "She eats emotions; You defend losers."

"Well," Poindexter began, "Between my intellect, your ghost hunting prowess, Sam's oddball originality, and—" The ghastly geek turned to Sam, "Say, where is the halfa anyway?"

"The what-a?" both girls asked.

"It's slang for a half ghost half human." Poindexter explained, "Sam—"

"I've seen him once!" Sam said quickly while covering Poindexter's mouth, which was a bit complicated since her hand could go right through the ghost. "C'mon! We need to find Danny, he could help us!" They ran down the hallways desperately searching for Danny's next class.

"Good idea, freak." The red women agreed, "Fenton's ghost hunting parents might know how to stop this emotion eating ghost!"

"I'm not a freak! And that's not why I'm looking for Danny!" Sam snapped.

"If it's 'cause you need emotional support from your boyfriend," the ghost hunter said, "Then you're out of luck! He's just as emotionless as everyone else in this school."

"Whaddaya—YEEEEAAAAAUUUGH!!!" Sam howled as she stepped into the classroom.

Danny: Guess what? It got much worse.

Tucker: How?

Danny: ZAGRH8R also wants us to reinact Cirque du Freak.

Tucker: Holy crap! Not Cirque du Freak! What's Cirque du Freak.

Me: The greatest vampire series ever made. Now I shall give out rewards to reviewers.

Divagurl227: No, because Sam took the Fenton Flashlight, not the Fenton Thermos. You get a Darren Shan plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Ghostly Hamburger: ...I'm not sure what to say about Sam's parents. Cougar intestines were the most different things I could think of. Sorry you missed Invader Zim. You get every episode of Invader Zim ever made.

Firehedgehog: They're worth that much, eh? You get a Mr. Crepsley plushie (Cirque du Freak)

WormmonABC: Not sure where Ember got the guitar. You get a Steve Leopard plushie (Cirque du Freak).

Cheerin4danny: Thanks. You get an Evra plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Khyrstiana: I can always count on you for short reviews. You get a Mr. Tall plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Cyborgtoy00: Yep, I bailed her out of jail. You get a Sam Grest plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Jacks Ghost Gal: Yeah, what if...You get a Little Person plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Anomoly: No, that's not the special thing. But good eye, and thanks for the compliments. You get a Gavner Purl plushie (Cirque du Freak)

Cybertoy00: You shall soon see....you shall soon see...And the Love Bug first appeared in MAAPOL. Since you reviewed twice, you get a Debbie Hemlock plushie and a Mr. Tiny plushie (both from Cirque du Freak)

Thanks for your continued patronidge!!! Seeya next chapter!