Killa woke up with a throbbing headache and only a patchy idea of what
happened last night. Rolling over onto her back, she stared up at the
ceiling and tried to remember how she came to wake up wrapped in a very
nice leather jacket several sizes too big for her. Whose was it? At least
she still had all her clothes on; so far limiting her partying to groups
had kept her out of that kind of morning surprise.
Oh, God, now she remembered. The singing. The fall. Both kisses. The jacket- she had to go back to the IHOP. Ohhhh. Killa rolled up into a ball of embarrassment, then looked at the clock to see what time it was-11:30 AM. Ohhhh, a final in four hours, plus she was supposed to go to the dojo with Kiko and her uncle at noon to work out. Great. She rolled out of bed and staggered over to the closet to grab her workout gear.
Killa lived in the attic apartment of a big three story Victorian house. The way it worked was each person had a locked suite of three rooms of varying sizes, but had to share the kitchen, common room, balcony, porch, and laundry room. First and second floor bathrooms only, nothing on the third floor, which sucked. But, it also meant she had the attic to herself, since there was only the one apartment up there. The rest was storage. Her living room also had a small balcony, just big enough for four people, or one very lazy Killa in a hammock. The place rocked, and it was cheap considering the space and privacy she had.
But, she had to share the house with: six cats(two belonged to her), a parrot, a ferret, two dogs, five regular roommates and their various boyfriends and girlfriends; and one insane landlady who lived in the backyard in the former servants quarters. On the one hand, she always had a funny story to tell, but on the other, she was living in the funny story and that wasn't always so funny, sometimes it was just crazy. As soon as the lease was up in August she planned to move in with Toby and Kiko.
Killa stumbled downstairs and into the bathroom that was, thankfully, empty. After her shower she felt better, but she really needed to hoof it if she was going to catch the subway and be to the dojo on time. Kiko talked about her uncle all the time and Killa couldn't wait to meet him. If he was as good as Kiko said, she should get a good workout.
Bob was in the kitchen, God he was slow, and making another of his disgusting raw egg shakes. Ewww. No smoothie then. Opening the freezer with her foot, she scanned the contents at the same time as she poured a cup of coffee.
"Killa, would you please keep your feet off the appliances. You know it repulses me." Bob said wearily.
"Sorry Bob. I forgot."
"You always forget. You do that all the time." Bob replied grumpily. He just didn't, probably couldn't, understand what it was like to have feet nearly as useful as hands, Killa mused. Ever since her ex-boyfriend Kolby introduced her three years ago to Shotokan karate, jujitsu, and a variety of other forms of Martial arts, Killa had learned to use her entire body. She all but hummed with health and energy.
"Sorry Bob, See you later!" Killa ran out the side door holding two hotpockets, a cup of coffee heavily laced with sugar, and her backpack along with a couple of apples and a handful of string cheese shoved in the pockets of the leather coat she'd borrowed. She liked the coat and figured she'd wear it until she had to give it back. It smelled nice, like leather and mint. Fresh, clean, masculine.
Two kept thinking about the kiss. It hadn't been much of a kiss, but he'd felt, hmm, amused by it? He couldn't put his finger on it, but it was different from the women at Club Hell and the Merovingian's restaurant. Many of them were no older, some were even younger than Killa but they felt somehow weary? Jaded? He wasn't sure what the difference was. One felt the same way, they both thought about the IHOP girl off and on all morning.
"She will return our coat." One thought to Two. "We will see her then."
"She may leave it with Betty." Two thought back.
"Yes, but she will be curious. We will see her again." One's quiet confidence soothed his twin. Two was nervous; the Merovingian was in a snit about their repeated refusal to accompany him on his holiday. The twins worked for the Frenchman, they were not exactly his slaves. They had free will, but there were consequences for their actions, and some consequences were quite unpleasant. The Merovingian generally did not push them because they were powerful, and they generally obeyed the Merovingian because it was likely that he was more powerful than them. Not certain, but very likely. The arrangement wasn't perfect, but it was better than deletion or running from agents all the time.
This time the Merovingian was stuck. He promised them last year they would not be required to accompany him and Persephone on vacation this summer. That duty was supposed to be rotated out among the bodyguards, as it was particularly awful. The Merovingian snatched and grabbed at any nubile female in reach and as a result Persephone could be depended on to initiate any number of plots and strategies designed to hurt, main or kill the Merovingian. This was not unusual at the chateau as well, but on vacation you added unfamiliar circumstances, a variety of kitchens(all of which could potentially be bribed to poison the Merovingian), a variety of sex partners(any number of which could be assassins) and all the other unexpected travel trials that even humans had to deal with. The twins had accompanied the Merovingian the last two years in a row, and, to be fair to the Merovingian, were given hefty information bonuses that boosted their knowledge and skills. The Merovingian did pay well in the coin of programs: information and power.
The twins were his most efficient, powerful and conscientious bodyguards, so of course he wanted them with him at all times, but they also hated vacation duty with a passion and recently had begun to feel unhappy with their duties in general. It was time for a break. This morning they told him to take Cain and Able, it was their turn. The vampires hissed at them when they told them the news. The duty really was a chore.
So, for the next few days, the Merovingian would be hard to deal with. He would send them out on fool's errands, like laundry or any number of what he thought were humiliating duties. The twins didn't care, work was work and there were always people around to annoy, infuriate or just plain scare the hell out of. Right now they were having what Two liked to call Fun With Laundry. Rather than do the Chateau's laundry at the Chateau, they picked a downtown Laundromat that served alcohol and did it there.
They did a bang up job at laundry, like anything else, and they actually liked the duty better than some others. They had several requirements for the Laundromat: one it had to be really really busy, two it had to cater to a varied clientele, three it had to have a bar in it, four it had to allow park and load/unload on a very busy street preferably in front of the Laundromat's big plate glass window, five it had to be unattended except for the bar, six it had to be really really big as they would have a ton of laundry to do.
Right now the Chateau had about fifty or so occupants. It was, simply put, a truckload of laundry. So they rented a truck. A long, wide truck perfect for blocking traffic.
They arrived right as the Laundromat was opening, 7:30AM, rush hour, and parked half in, half out of the loading zone parking space. This closed down the road from three lanes to one and one half, almost enough to squeeze two cars through. This was guaranteed to cause a wreck, as at least one human would get frustrated enough and convince himself his car would fit through the half slot. The twins then loaded up every single washing machine in the entire building. This took a little while, and they saw no reason to hurry. Usually there was at least one wreck, sometimes an entire pile-up would occur, and they would emerge from the building to screams and honking horns and cursing. Laundry was fun!
After they moved the truck, they went to the bar and ordered beer after beer and proceeded to act hammered. They spilled soap on people. They sang. They hit on any adult female who came in the building. They practiced karate moves. As new patrons entered, they would size them up and figure out how best to annoy them, bring them to tears or cause a fight. Their finest moment today came when they provoked a fistfight between two senior citizens over which was the best laundry soap. Mostly they told people they were almost done, for hours.
It was now 11:30 and the Laundromat was filled with angry people. The twins were mostly done; the final load was in the dryer. Two looked over at One and thought "Now?"
One thought back, "Sure."
Many Americans were homophobes, and incest is a taboo for nearly every culture. Although the twins were basically two aspects of one program and functioned as one person in many ways, they were not sexually intimate. But they learned quick that pretending to be was a sure fire way to make everyone uncomfortable as hell. It kept EVERYONE out of their quarters at the chateau, it worked like a charm. Two peeled off his shirt and turned his back to One. One ran his hands over his brother's shoulders and began massaging them. Two started moaning. "Yes, that's it. We like that."
"Mommy, what are those two men doing?" The young mothers cracked first, hurried out with their children's eyes covered.
Two started moaning louder. "Oh, yes. I can't wait 'til we get home." The men grabbed their stuff and headed out.
Everyone else headed for the door when One leaned in and acted like he was going to kiss Two. After the Laundromat was empty, the twins packed up the rest of the laundry and went out to look for a summer place.
The Twins didn't think a lot about their motivation for staying, or for deciding to get an apartment in the city away from the Chateau for the three months the Merovingian would be gone. Part of it was the infighting that would start as soon as the Merovingian's car pulled out of the driveway. When they returned last year, half the other exiles were dead. But part of it was the sudden need for privacy the two felt almost instinctively. They knew that Killa would not be safe at the chateau, and it also wouldn't be safe if the exiles at the chateau learned of what they hoped, with luck, would be their relationship with her. They were looking at available flats right now.
"This one looks good, Two. Listen to this: Large loft over downtown dojo. Free workout privileges. Karate instructors given reduced rent in exchange for classes taught." Both twins grinned evilly at the thought of teaching humans karate.
Oh, God, now she remembered. The singing. The fall. Both kisses. The jacket- she had to go back to the IHOP. Ohhhh. Killa rolled up into a ball of embarrassment, then looked at the clock to see what time it was-11:30 AM. Ohhhh, a final in four hours, plus she was supposed to go to the dojo with Kiko and her uncle at noon to work out. Great. She rolled out of bed and staggered over to the closet to grab her workout gear.
Killa lived in the attic apartment of a big three story Victorian house. The way it worked was each person had a locked suite of three rooms of varying sizes, but had to share the kitchen, common room, balcony, porch, and laundry room. First and second floor bathrooms only, nothing on the third floor, which sucked. But, it also meant she had the attic to herself, since there was only the one apartment up there. The rest was storage. Her living room also had a small balcony, just big enough for four people, or one very lazy Killa in a hammock. The place rocked, and it was cheap considering the space and privacy she had.
But, she had to share the house with: six cats(two belonged to her), a parrot, a ferret, two dogs, five regular roommates and their various boyfriends and girlfriends; and one insane landlady who lived in the backyard in the former servants quarters. On the one hand, she always had a funny story to tell, but on the other, she was living in the funny story and that wasn't always so funny, sometimes it was just crazy. As soon as the lease was up in August she planned to move in with Toby and Kiko.
Killa stumbled downstairs and into the bathroom that was, thankfully, empty. After her shower she felt better, but she really needed to hoof it if she was going to catch the subway and be to the dojo on time. Kiko talked about her uncle all the time and Killa couldn't wait to meet him. If he was as good as Kiko said, she should get a good workout.
Bob was in the kitchen, God he was slow, and making another of his disgusting raw egg shakes. Ewww. No smoothie then. Opening the freezer with her foot, she scanned the contents at the same time as she poured a cup of coffee.
"Killa, would you please keep your feet off the appliances. You know it repulses me." Bob said wearily.
"Sorry Bob. I forgot."
"You always forget. You do that all the time." Bob replied grumpily. He just didn't, probably couldn't, understand what it was like to have feet nearly as useful as hands, Killa mused. Ever since her ex-boyfriend Kolby introduced her three years ago to Shotokan karate, jujitsu, and a variety of other forms of Martial arts, Killa had learned to use her entire body. She all but hummed with health and energy.
"Sorry Bob, See you later!" Killa ran out the side door holding two hotpockets, a cup of coffee heavily laced with sugar, and her backpack along with a couple of apples and a handful of string cheese shoved in the pockets of the leather coat she'd borrowed. She liked the coat and figured she'd wear it until she had to give it back. It smelled nice, like leather and mint. Fresh, clean, masculine.
Two kept thinking about the kiss. It hadn't been much of a kiss, but he'd felt, hmm, amused by it? He couldn't put his finger on it, but it was different from the women at Club Hell and the Merovingian's restaurant. Many of them were no older, some were even younger than Killa but they felt somehow weary? Jaded? He wasn't sure what the difference was. One felt the same way, they both thought about the IHOP girl off and on all morning.
"She will return our coat." One thought to Two. "We will see her then."
"She may leave it with Betty." Two thought back.
"Yes, but she will be curious. We will see her again." One's quiet confidence soothed his twin. Two was nervous; the Merovingian was in a snit about their repeated refusal to accompany him on his holiday. The twins worked for the Frenchman, they were not exactly his slaves. They had free will, but there were consequences for their actions, and some consequences were quite unpleasant. The Merovingian generally did not push them because they were powerful, and they generally obeyed the Merovingian because it was likely that he was more powerful than them. Not certain, but very likely. The arrangement wasn't perfect, but it was better than deletion or running from agents all the time.
This time the Merovingian was stuck. He promised them last year they would not be required to accompany him and Persephone on vacation this summer. That duty was supposed to be rotated out among the bodyguards, as it was particularly awful. The Merovingian snatched and grabbed at any nubile female in reach and as a result Persephone could be depended on to initiate any number of plots and strategies designed to hurt, main or kill the Merovingian. This was not unusual at the chateau as well, but on vacation you added unfamiliar circumstances, a variety of kitchens(all of which could potentially be bribed to poison the Merovingian), a variety of sex partners(any number of which could be assassins) and all the other unexpected travel trials that even humans had to deal with. The twins had accompanied the Merovingian the last two years in a row, and, to be fair to the Merovingian, were given hefty information bonuses that boosted their knowledge and skills. The Merovingian did pay well in the coin of programs: information and power.
The twins were his most efficient, powerful and conscientious bodyguards, so of course he wanted them with him at all times, but they also hated vacation duty with a passion and recently had begun to feel unhappy with their duties in general. It was time for a break. This morning they told him to take Cain and Able, it was their turn. The vampires hissed at them when they told them the news. The duty really was a chore.
So, for the next few days, the Merovingian would be hard to deal with. He would send them out on fool's errands, like laundry or any number of what he thought were humiliating duties. The twins didn't care, work was work and there were always people around to annoy, infuriate or just plain scare the hell out of. Right now they were having what Two liked to call Fun With Laundry. Rather than do the Chateau's laundry at the Chateau, they picked a downtown Laundromat that served alcohol and did it there.
They did a bang up job at laundry, like anything else, and they actually liked the duty better than some others. They had several requirements for the Laundromat: one it had to be really really busy, two it had to cater to a varied clientele, three it had to have a bar in it, four it had to allow park and load/unload on a very busy street preferably in front of the Laundromat's big plate glass window, five it had to be unattended except for the bar, six it had to be really really big as they would have a ton of laundry to do.
Right now the Chateau had about fifty or so occupants. It was, simply put, a truckload of laundry. So they rented a truck. A long, wide truck perfect for blocking traffic.
They arrived right as the Laundromat was opening, 7:30AM, rush hour, and parked half in, half out of the loading zone parking space. This closed down the road from three lanes to one and one half, almost enough to squeeze two cars through. This was guaranteed to cause a wreck, as at least one human would get frustrated enough and convince himself his car would fit through the half slot. The twins then loaded up every single washing machine in the entire building. This took a little while, and they saw no reason to hurry. Usually there was at least one wreck, sometimes an entire pile-up would occur, and they would emerge from the building to screams and honking horns and cursing. Laundry was fun!
After they moved the truck, they went to the bar and ordered beer after beer and proceeded to act hammered. They spilled soap on people. They sang. They hit on any adult female who came in the building. They practiced karate moves. As new patrons entered, they would size them up and figure out how best to annoy them, bring them to tears or cause a fight. Their finest moment today came when they provoked a fistfight between two senior citizens over which was the best laundry soap. Mostly they told people they were almost done, for hours.
It was now 11:30 and the Laundromat was filled with angry people. The twins were mostly done; the final load was in the dryer. Two looked over at One and thought "Now?"
One thought back, "Sure."
Many Americans were homophobes, and incest is a taboo for nearly every culture. Although the twins were basically two aspects of one program and functioned as one person in many ways, they were not sexually intimate. But they learned quick that pretending to be was a sure fire way to make everyone uncomfortable as hell. It kept EVERYONE out of their quarters at the chateau, it worked like a charm. Two peeled off his shirt and turned his back to One. One ran his hands over his brother's shoulders and began massaging them. Two started moaning. "Yes, that's it. We like that."
"Mommy, what are those two men doing?" The young mothers cracked first, hurried out with their children's eyes covered.
Two started moaning louder. "Oh, yes. I can't wait 'til we get home." The men grabbed their stuff and headed out.
Everyone else headed for the door when One leaned in and acted like he was going to kiss Two. After the Laundromat was empty, the twins packed up the rest of the laundry and went out to look for a summer place.
The Twins didn't think a lot about their motivation for staying, or for deciding to get an apartment in the city away from the Chateau for the three months the Merovingian would be gone. Part of it was the infighting that would start as soon as the Merovingian's car pulled out of the driveway. When they returned last year, half the other exiles were dead. But part of it was the sudden need for privacy the two felt almost instinctively. They knew that Killa would not be safe at the chateau, and it also wouldn't be safe if the exiles at the chateau learned of what they hoped, with luck, would be their relationship with her. They were looking at available flats right now.
"This one looks good, Two. Listen to this: Large loft over downtown dojo. Free workout privileges. Karate instructors given reduced rent in exchange for classes taught." Both twins grinned evilly at the thought of teaching humans karate.