An Harry Potter Fanfiction written by- RoyalJester
Disclaimer- I do NOT own Harry PotterA/N- Now I'm not exactly sure how long it takes Remus to be fully 'recovered' from his transformations. It prolly stated in the series but I suppose I don't remember. So please bare with me . Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!! Also!! This chapter is…VERY twisted! Many people will be angry at me for this…. But when you are angry and your awfully confused, don't you end up doing something rather foolish that you wished you could take back?? This would be it!
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Remus's POVI'm beyond weary as I stagger along the hallways that are pitch dark except for the dim light from the torches that led my way through Hogwarts. It had been two days since I've transformed into my monthly horror, but for some reason, this one took longer for me to get over.
I stumble suddenly as I didn't notice I had finally reached the steps. It being winter, it grew dark sooner then expected. It was only seven when I had left the Hospital Wing, as I carry melting chocolate in my hand.
How chocolate could make you feel better, I won't understand. In my theory, its just to give to students who are whining about pain, it's a way to get them to be settle down. I snicker in the slightest at remembering a first-year asking for more chocolate because of his tummy ache. Oh well, he'd learn.
I place the 'sweet desire' back in the wrapping and into my pocket as I enter the common rooms where it's dark as well. The fireplace cackles as I glance at Lily who was snuggling up close to James who put an arm around her. I shake my head with a weak smile as I casually walk up the stairway to my room when I hear a peculiar noise coming from in side.
The sharp coldness rushed through my body as I place my shaking hand on the doorknob and open it; I totter back in hurt at what I see before me.
Sirius was in his bed, with a girl below him, kissing her overpoweringly. My eyes linger over their positions as I note they were only kissing, but as I saw his eyes flash open and meet with mine, still kissing her, I lost it.
I could tell he smirked, he wanted this to happen. I am struck as his hand slowly rides up the mysterious girl's thigh and under her skirt. I step back as I crash into the already closed door behind me. My face pales as I find that I couldn't remember my motor skills as I try to open the door.
Laughter reaches my ears as I hear a figure come up behind me.
"I suppose I should help you. You seem pathetic looking Lupin," A malicious voice whispers as his voice strikes me, I take a step back as I watch his hand tighten over the handle and open it. His body slightly touches mine as lightning shoots up my body. He beckons me out as I feel my eyes water as I stare at the ground. "What's the matter?" he asked full of venom as I couldn't help but look at him, his dark eyes that I adore, pierced me. I turn my gaze from his as I swiftly ran out. How I ran, I don't know, but I had.
"Mooney, what's wrong?" A voice calls out from behind me, James no doubt as he had heard me run down the stairs.
I ignore his call as I hear the echoes of my feet slamming against the ground. My eyes blind as the tears I wish to conceal had revealed themselves.
I slam my body against the wooden doors of the entrance hall as I cast a 'lumos' spell. Using the new light, I reach for a branch as I poke at the knot of the Whomping Willow where my hideout was. My secret place. My steps echo through the hallway as I reach the main room where I transform.
My eyes linger over the torn furniture as I light the torches slowly. I find a torn up cot in the corner of the circular room as I sat down, my back against the wall. So many memories. Of Sirius and I.
On this very cot, we would rest in each other's arms after my transformation; I would be drained as I remember falling onto my knees as I gain my own body back. I would always hear a creak of the door as a figure would walk in, and pick me up, carrying me to the cot where he would snuggle up close with me. How brave and loyal he was.
But that didn't happen this time…
And possibly never again.
How I miss his warm arms circling around me as we escaped the gaze from others. How he would warmly press his lips against mine at random moments, always making the remark, "I was just making sure you're real,"
I still hear his voice whisper that sentence as I feel warmth pass through my body. I close my eyes, as I didn't even bother with the tears that tainted my face.
I had made a terrible mistake.
But it was what had to be done.
Soon, we will both move on…find new people to love, share our life's together with that one special person.
I shake my head.
Sirius is my special someone…
I bring my knees against my chest as I lay my forehead on them.
I would give anything for things to be different, for the world, especially a world like this, to have an open mind. Why would others care? I have found love and should be able to express it. He was my soul mate. Forever and always. If we couldn't be together in this existence, then we could in the next.
I laugh deeply at my childish thoughts. But I couldn't prevent them. I can't deny love. I bring my legs down as I gaze along my hidden secret. I held many secrets…
I let out a deep breath of air as I think about us. If only I hadn't said those words that had ruined out lives. Maybe, if Sirius hadn't done what he did, we would still be together. But then again, I had allowed him to. It was my entire fault. I had let him date others while we were together…
I shake my head. I wish to take the blame, some how find something that I had done to make everything my fault, but the truth is, I found none. I let a deep sigh escape.
Everything would work out…it would have to. I know Sirius is in pain, and he is only expressing it his way. Betrayal, and heartache. He didn't care about that girl that he was using, I knew he was thinking of me as he pressed his body against hers. But then again, how did I know? I smiled. I knew.
At the thought of the chocolate melting in my pocket, I remove it and instantly savor the taste as it reaches my mouth. Doesn't taste as good at Sirius, but it was still good. I smile in the slightest.
Maybe Chocolate worked after all…
A/N- Hmm…what a sad chapter. Poor Remus…Darn you Sirius!! Stop this act!! Do you hear me!! DO YOU HEAR ME!!! Wait…are those tears? I'm sorry Sirius…wait…they aren't cause of me? Why are you out so late at night anywayz? Whats going on through your head?? Regret?!
Next chapter- Sirius's feelings and thoughts. YAY!!!