A Fine Mess

Monica and Chandler stood in Phoebe's doorway, staring.

Hey Emily,' Chandler said, You're back.'

Yes, I was looking for Ross,' Emily said, I can't find him anywhere.' She looked at Monica's blank face. I suppose he's on the honeymoon, only I don't know where it is, so I can't contact him. I was wondering, did Ross tell you the name of the hotel we were supposed to be staying at? I've got to join him.' She looked as though she was about to cry but suppressed tears and said, Everything's been a disaster but if we can salvage one little bit of this honeymoon then maybe everything will be all right.'

It will be,' Phoebe soothed.

So do you know?' Emily asked.

Er,' Monica said. ' Chandler frowned and then improvised.

Yes he did, but she's left the name of the hotel at home, so she'll have to go back an get it for you.'

Aha, yes,' Monica said, That's right, I did. Tell you what, I'll go and get it now, you wait here.'

I'll come with you,' Emily said eagerly.

No, no, it won't take long. Stay here with Phoebe and Chandler,' Monica retreated and ran for her apartment, leaving Emily behind.

She had already called the hotel and found that Rachel was there with Ross. Ross was sounding miserable without Emily, so he was in the right frame of mind to join up with her. But Rachel being there was a disaster.

What do you think you're doing?' Monica had hissed, Isn't Ross in enough trouble?'

I'm just keeping him company Monica,' Rachel said.

Rachel,' Monica warned, He's married. Please tell me you two are in separate rooms.'

Oh come on Monica, you can trust us.'

You're in the same room?!' Monica had exclaimed.

He slept in the bathroom,' Rachel said, and Monica could hear her resentment.

Oh no, couldn't you get another room?'

No,' Rachel said. He tried.'

Why didn't you sleep in the bathroom?'

Because he made the decision,' Rachel said, Look, nothing happened.'

How could you do this? If Emily finds out, that's it, my brother's marriage is over.'

Isn't over already?' Rachel said. She didn't come to the airport. That means she's given up on the marriage.'

Don't be too hasty,' Monica said. What if she was late? What if she's upset? That would only be natural. She and Ross have got to talk, but now you've made it complicated.'

Don't blame me, Ross asked me to come.'

He what?'

He asked me to come — as a friend.'

You shouldn't have gone with him,' Monica said. He was feeling down.'

That's exactly why I went, because he was feeling down. How could he go on a honeymoon on his own, feeling so bad?'

I know, Rach, but this is going to cause so much trouble.'

Nothing's going to happen, and if Ross feels better, it will be worth it.' Having just spoken to Ross, Monica thought that he hadn't started to sound better.

Now in her apartment, she wondered what to do. As soon as she gave Emily the number, Emily would call and then she would find out that Ross and Rachel were together and there would be divorce number two.

She dialled the hotel and Ross picked up.

Ross, thank God, it's you,' Monica said. Emily's here.'

She's with you?'

With Phoebe.'

Oh thank God, she went to New York, that means she still wants to see me.'

She does,' Monica said.

Oh thank God for that,' Ross said sounding relieved, If only we can talk so that we can clear up misunderstandings.'

Including the one about Rachel being there with you?' Monica interrupted.

Oh no,' Ross said.

Oh yes.'

If she comes out, she's going to expect to find you alone in the honeymoon suite.'

But there aren't any other rooms,' Ross wailed. And I can't just ask Rachel to leave and have Emily take her place, the people at this hotel will remember Rachel — they'll say something to Emily about her if she turns up. Oh Monica, my marriage is over.'

I can't stall her for very long,' Monica said, Maybe only a few minutes. So think of something. Fast. And whatever you do, don't let Rachel pick up the phone.'

And returning to Phoebe's Monica gave Emily the number. Monica tried to stall her, Chandler and Phoebe following suit without understanding why, but they couldn't think of a good reason to stop Emily from going back to Ross's flat and calling him from there. When Phoebe heard what was going on, she said,

I just hope Ross can think fast.'