Don't Say it With Flowers!
By Starhopper
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my sketchbooks and DVDs. Everything else belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki and many other respected businessmen who make RK available to the masses.
Now what about Buddha Boy and Ninja Gal?
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- Say it With a Smile!
The hustle and bustle of the train station split and ran around the tall man, like the current of a raging river. And Aoshi, ever the immobile face of granite, planted himself in the walkway, refusing to move. Why should he? This was the vantage point, perfect for spotting his Misao-chan who would be running along in the undercurrent. It wouldn't be hard to miss her. Ever since they had received the invitation, the ninja couldn't stop bouncing from here to there, springing on the balls of her feet, the braid swinging from side to side, the two pools of cerulean blue sparkling up at him as she pleaded with him to let her go . . .
And how could he say no? He could never say no to her, but she would need some chaperoning of course. Omasu and Okon were too busy tending the Aoiya, while Kuro and Shiro were out on assignment. So that left either himself or Okina, and the Grandfather wouldn't enjoy such a long train ride, with no passing young ladies to squander his time away with.
Now that old man would never learn.
So, being the kind hearted leader that he was, he volunteered for the mission: to shepherd Misao to the Kamiya Dojo in Tokyo, sit aside her while she celebrated this 'anniversary dinner' Battousai's woman was going on and on about, and then return her back to Kyoto with a smile on her face. If not a smile on his.
A cool breeze ruffled his bangs and Aoshi welcomed the resulting shift in his thoughts; from Misao to the natural world. Closing his eyes, he slipped into meditation, mentally preparing himself for the remainder of the day. There would be children laughing, women cackling, the ever- persistent clack of the wheels on the tracks, the gentle swaying of the train cabin as the steam engine chugged across the countryside. He would be praying for his temple of repentance during that time.
At least, that had been his intention, but as soon as his eyelids shut, Misao became the natural world. He imagined her breath was the wind, her voice the song of the birds as they flitted high overhead. With eyes still closed, he turned his head to the sound of her toes sliding against the pebbles on the road, or the roar of the ocean in his mind, and was met by her eyes shimmering back at him. Oh, he could finally find peace by diving into those waters, he was sure of it.
He reawakened only to hold his mouth in a straight line. No way was he going to smile a smile that wasn't completely and wholly hers. And he wasn't about to pull back the corners of his lips in a broad grin if she wasn't there to see it.
And he had just heard her. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes screened the crowd for her likeness. They darted to the vendor's carts, the ticket booth, and back again to the torrent streaming around him. So where was she already? His little ninja was nowhere to be found.
"Think of something else Shinomori," he whispered to himself. "And don't let it be - "
"Aoshi-sama!"
He bowed his head then turned on his heel to face her. "Misao-chan,"
Kami-sama, it was so hard not to smile when her Genki grin was plastered on her face. She stood before him, head cocked endearingly to one side, her hands clasping a flat box in front of her.
"Are you ready to go now?" he was careful not to let his tone sound too annoyed. "The train has already arrived,"
"Hai!" She nodded and the braid bounced behind her, "I just had to pick up some sweets for Kaoru-chan." She blushed, "as well as something for Megumi- san,"
The tint to her cheeks threatened to leap off her face and flush his. Kaoru-san had mentioned something about the annoying Rooster and that equally annoying little fox being somewhat of an item, a secret one at that.
No one was supposed to know, but the boy had blabbed and all was common knowledge. Fools. Everyone close to the group at the dojo was privy to the fact that their whole affair was anything but secret, except for the couple harboring it.
Suppressing a chuckle, he covered it with a cough, and took a step forward. "Good, then let's go," starting to walk against the current; he was assured that the waters would part for his person, allowing Misao to trail behind in the gap. She chattered sweetly about the weather, her chirpings mingling with the chorus of finches gathering on the roof of the station.
"Is that a new coat?" her voice drifted up to him from far away.
He paused in his step and caught himself before letting the surprise creep upon his seemingly cold countenance. She had noticed?
Aoshi no baka, of course she had noticed. Anyone on the street who knows you notices. Misao is simply no exception to the rule. Yes, that's right, she's just a person on the street. Not someone who knows you better than you know yourself. Not someone who melts your heart every time they say your name. Not someone that you lo -
Don't act like the common lovesick fool around her! Just after you chastised those barnyard enemies for playing hide and seek and now what are you doing? Counting till ten before your little weasel can find you. And she knows you so well; she'll happen upon your shadow of solitude, pounce at your slightest hesitation, leaving you completely defenseless in your weakest moment.
Absently, he shoved a man out of their way to cover the time lag in his thoughts. "Yes, it's new," he threw over his shoulder, pretending not to notice her look of astonishment.
But the look soon flickered to one of inert interest, "Aoshi-sama, is there something wrong with you today?" she asked with those eyes that drove him to meditate over how he could possibly cleanse himself enough to live, much less to deserve her.
He sniffed, laughing off any possible implications creeping through her question. "Nothing of the sort." Shinomori you liar. Remember the game? Well tag, you're it. Really, it couldn't be farther from the truth my little weasel. Strangely enough, his refusal to embrace his feelings put an end to any other questions pressing in on her mind and they walked the rest of the way in silence. He didn't even see the dejected little ninja trailing in the wake of his trench coat, hiding behind each huge flutter of the fabric.
At last they came to the train, a large fuming thing that reminded Aoshi more of a dragon than any wonder of technology. But his Misao-chan was enamored with it. She rushed right up to the edge of the platform and bent to examine it with wide-eyed interest.
The smile was pressing in on him now, so that he could feel every one of the muscles around his mouth tense in anticipation. She looked just like the little girl he had trained, the little girl he had cradled against him when the lightning threatened to strike her good dreams.
"Come on Aoshi-sama!" she turned and the wind caught the loose strands of her hair in its fingers, twirling them about her face. For a brief second, she gave into the caress and closed her eyes, her chest rising as she breathed in the scent of the flowers riding the air, giving herself over to the tender touch of nature. He felt himself inhale simultaneously, hoping to experience whatever sense of calm she received as the wind whipped around her. It was so easy for her, how he wished he could get that peace of mind by just standing in the breeze, letting the world enfold him in its embrace. Closing his eyes as she opened hers, he tried to let himself go as she did, to let the air carry away the massive weight on his shoulders.
Misao recovered faster than he did. Pinned on her left toe, she spun with the grace of a ballerina and ran over to him. She stopped, almost falling over her own feet when she found him frozen in place, watching the train seething steam. "Aoshi-sama, you all right?"
With a start he looked down at her and nodded wordlessly. Feeling the pallor of straight terror stretching itself over his features, Aoshi put a palm to his forehead and massaged the peak at his hairline with a pointer and thumb. He was a man, twenty-seven years old, and a well-respected leader of one of the greatest ninja bands in all of western Japan. He should be able to cover his tracks well enough, but for some strange reason, this girl was and would always be able to dust the sand he had kicked over his footprints away. Considering his current mental state, he was beginning to forget to walk in the steps of others, hiding his trail from his pursuer. Had he made sure to curb his enthusiasm in front of Okina at the very idea of escorting Misao to Tokyo? Was he forcing his voice to remain calm, instead of letting it come naturally monotonous, when she asked him a question? Questions second-guessing how he continued to hold himself in her presence flooded through his mind.
Even if he couldn't be sure of his ability to keep this secret, one thing was for sure: if he wasn't careful, this was going to be one catastrophic journey.
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Yet another green hill flew past their cabin at the speed of light and Aoshi blew a disinterested stream of air between his teeth. How could anyone enjoy seeing the country like this? Wiggling his toes, he reminded himself of how wonderful it was to walk, to wander in the nature that now buzzed by him like an insect. He wanted to swat it away. 'Please, go bug someone else with your artificiality,' he thought to himself, 'I'm not in the mood.'
A flicker of black with emerald highlights played at his peripheral vision as Misao glanced over at him from the window seat. "Isn't it beautiful, Aoshi-sama?"
He brightened, pulling himself up from a slouch into an alert position. Yes, now this was a much better view than the blur of Japan's rice patties.
"Yes Misao," he eyed her coolly from beneath his bangs. The reflection of the passing countryside reflected in her eyes, those smiling happy eyes that always shined up at him. Staring at the phenomenon, he felt the seat he was perched on slide about beneath him, the train taking a turn north. Before his cat-like reflexes could claw him back into place, he had slid across the bench to tower over her, the happy eyes now wide in apprehension as he whispered, "Very beautiful."
She looked up at him, body still twisted over her torso to ask him about the view. "Nani?"
With his arms splayed out at the sides in a desperate attempt to keep him from crushing her, Aoshi was frozen. And try as he might to unlock his elbows, the more he struggled, the closer he was pressed to her. Panic flashed across his eyes briefly before he twisted his left shoulder forward, his chin brushing along the feathers of her bangs, and wrenched himself free of the compromising position.
"Aoshi-sama, what just happened?"
"I slid." Never mind the fact that his head was spinning, his skin slightly burning with the remembrance of her hair tickling it, the heat that had been squeezed out between them still draped about his chest and neck like a comforting old blanket. Never mind that deep longing to go back in time and seize her in his arms, pull her closer until the heat engulfed both of them and they were swallowed by flames.
Yes, Shinomori. Never mind all of that.
"Oh, alright," she turned back to the window and set her sights on the passing farmlands. But this time he heard the dejected tone she cradled so thoughtfully against her apathy.
He looked down at his hands and fisted them in his lap. "I'm sorry,"
'If I couldn't help but to not stop myself from colliding into you. If I can't tell you that I lo-'
From around her back that was turned to him, she sighed. "I told you, it's alright."
But it's not right, Misao. It's not right that you don't feel loved even though you are. And not just by an elder brother who raised you to be a fighter, but by a man who told you that the Oniwaban must be brave and he can't even follow his own advice.
His eyes traced the motions of her bored fingertips as she drew out something on the glass. And look now she's uncomfortable and it's all your fault . . . once again.
"Misao, I-"
"I said I'm fine, Aoshi-sama," she paused as if mulling over the past events and how he had just apologized for something completely out of his control. Turning on her side, she set a lowered blue eye on him over her shoulder and smiled. "But thanks,"
Aoshi suddenly realized that since discommoding himself, he hadn't moved away from her seat. He was so close that he -
CATASTROPHE! The little alarm went off in his head as his mind seriously drifted off into wild daydreams involving himself and the little ninja steaming up their corner booth.
Aoshi shook his head, clearing his mind of all thoughts having to do with fire and burning over Misao. Nope. Nadda. Not gonna happen. Not in a million years would he ever overcome his cowardice. He could become the Okashira at the age of fifteen, defend Edo Castle from the fires of the Revolution, and attempt to kill the craziest man in the world, but for the life of him, he couldn't express his feelings. Coward, coward, coward. And you berate the Chicken-head for hiding his feelings for so long? Or the Battousai, who continues to live with the woman of his dreams, but fears for her safety? Are your doubts really so well unfounded?
But with Misao, she always knows your feelings. Maybe you don't need to show them then, she would just . . . know. Is it really that easy?
Easy or not, it would be difficult, a new adjustment. His knees began to shake as he sat there, so close to her. "Misao?"
Having cooled off from her personal rebuke, Misao turned around fully to face him. "Yes?"
"I -"
Dammit Shinomori! Just say it. You may think she knows you better than you know yourself, but you know her just as well, if not better. You remember what makes her smile, (you) and what makes her frown, (you). You remember every time she had a nightmare and came running into your bed, seeking salvation from the bad dreams. You remember that night you left, and you like to think you don't remember her leaning out the window, crying out your name as you marched off to achieve certain glory for the Oniwabanshu. You know how she loves to stand in the wind and feel the fabric flutter against her legs and you know the way the sun shines upon her hair, making her glow from head to toe. And you know how she revels in the power she receives from nature. You know the world around her sings when she leaps through it, and you know that your heart beats when she smiles at you. So just give it all back to her, how well you understand her and what makes her cry a hundred-fold and it will be easy, just wait and see.
Reaching for her hand, he found it, and pulled it down to fill the space on the bench between them. Then, feeling the muscles tugging at the corners of his mouth, he gave into their pulling, relentless in their effort to chisel away his rocky exterior and break him away to the true being he was.
He smiled.
And not only did he smile, he said her name. It wasn't just 'Misao'. The two syllables that slipped past the curve of his lips were ground deep in longing, accompanied shortly after by his thumb stroking the skin between her forefinger and thumb. Turning over their clasped hands, he brought them up to his smile and softly pressed the back of her hand to his mouth, barely even touching his lips to her skin. It was so soft, smoothed by the oil rub she applied every night. The one that made him know that she had danced through the house even after she had long departed.
"Aoshi," she breathed at the intimate display as he set their hands back down on her lap, her brilliant blue eyes following the path of her hand wrapped in his like a child amazed at a magic trick.
But did the trick ever overwhelm the magician at the same time?
"I'm sorry for the first half of this year," he squeezed her hand. "But I am hoping that I can make it up to you with the second half."
"H-Hai," She smiled, the look on her face screaming uncertainty and disbelief. "Do anything you wish, I trust you."
She trusted him after all he had done to her. After all the pain he had caused, and she had not drawn her hand away when he had grasped it. And now she said 'anything'. Trust came first, nothing could possibly break that trust.
No matter how much he wanted to test its boundaries.
With a tug on her hand, he brought her close enough to rest her head on his chest. She was so fragile, as delicate as a feather. Bringing up a hand to clasp her shoulder gently he breathed a sigh of relief. He was worried that if he moved any faster, he would create a sudden gust that would sweep her out of his arms and out the window.
He swallowed. "I'm not really sure how this will work," as close as he had gotten to her, he was determined to control his voice. There was no wavering or emotion. His admittance was as smooth and icy as ever. "But if you're willing to trust me as you already do and try,"
"Try?" She practically leapt out of his tentative embrace to set her wide ocean set eyes on him. She frightened him with that look complete with pursed lips and a cautious glare. Then she broke his brief moment of sweating panic with a smile of her own. Coyly, she drew their hands up to her cheek and grinned even wider. "Do you even need to ask?"
"It's all a gentleman can do," he blinked back, smiling freely now for her. "It's all that," he gulped again, the full effect of his cowardice struggling to color his cheeks, "I can do,"
"Oh, Aoshi-sama," she fell back over his chest, the hand wrapped about her fingers pressing dangerously close against her breast. "I just wanted to find you, and instead I found your smile,"
Pulling his free arm about her shoulders, he hugged her to him. "You've always had it, Misao-chan," Dropping his cheek down onto her hair, he whispered, "You've always understood me,"
"I feel the same way," she mumbled blissfully into the fabric of his shirt.
He started to rub her shoulder in thought, "You never gave up on me," he stopped with a frown. Even after he had abandoned her, even after he had told her, straight to her face, 'I never want to see you again, leave'. And even after he had taken to seclusion in the temple, even then she had not given up hope that someday her Aoshi-sama would return to the land of the living breathing human being who realizes he was wrong and strives to make up for it. Yes, she and she alone believed in him, believed that he would someday recover and be her protector and mentor once more.
"I couldn't. I love you." She drew herself up within the confines of his embrace to look him eye-to-eye, or as close as that would allow given their obvious height difference. "I still love you Aoshi, don't you know that?"
'What a coincidence, I love you too'. That's what he should say, instead of letting himself be held in the hands of panic/shock/distress/oblivious exultation. "Do you really?"
She must have interpreted his obvious trepidation for she shook her head and ground her teeth. "How could you not know? Yes, this little sister of yours has adored you for many years, but now she loves you, has truly loved you since the moment you held her has a baby." She gripped his arm, the very arm that had shielded her from the cold as an infant. "She loves you, and you don't know it."
"I do know it," the train swerved again, lurching to the right, curving not only itself about the ocean, as well as a very nervous former Okashira about his own. When the motion had settled, he was kneeling on the floor, the rest of his body arching over hers, supported by the two arms that shook violently under the pressure of the moment. Aoshi stared into those blue eyes of hers, those endless depths that he longed to dive within and come out purified. "And I return your feelings a hundred-fold," Slowly, he leaned his head forward to hers, kissing her softly before drawing back, a wide smile on his face.
" . . . " For the first time in her life, Misao was speechless, and Aoshi somewhat gloried inwardly over that fact. But she soon recovered, "So now what?" she bit her lip endearingly.
He leaned back on his heels, and casting his eyes off to the side, set his face to the familiar hard granite as he pondered. "Well," he started casually, staving off the emotion. Just wait a bit longer. "I think I should kiss you a little more, then hold you until the train stops." His eyes flicked over to hers and he pulled his lips back over his teeth, flashing her a brilliant smile as he moved to sit back on the bench. Dropping the monotone, he pulled her into his lap, "Is that alright with you?"
It was quite alright, as he knew it would be.
And all it took was a smile.
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A/N: YAY! Hope that satisfied all the hopes and whims of all you fans out there! (30 reviews, I'm so happy for DSIWF! Boy, this was a hard story to write . . . I constantly struggled to make this different from 'Tears of Buddha', and it turned out a little different, not quite the stretch I wanted, but I started fairly realistically in 'Tears' that it would be hard to change him for any other story I write . . . actually, he turned out just a little looser, at least that's what I think. -_- zzz sleepy. Anyway, now onto the Dinner, which I hope to have soon. I have so many ideas, now that all the couples are cute together, kissy kissy and all. The girls are gonna visit that fountain they visited in ep "To My Angel Misao" to thank the god of that fountain. Kaoru's feelings crossed to Kenshin, Misao saw Aoshi smile, and Megumi will throw herself down at its feet to thank Kami-sama that Sano finally got a brain. It wasn't impossible afterall. And don't you worry, blackmail will abound, thanks to Yahiko and a nervous Sanosuke . . . I'm so evil. So now while I go and work on reading for English, you go off and REVIEW if ya like! A REVIEW is always appreciated! ^_^
By Starhopper
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my sketchbooks and DVDs. Everything else belongs to Nobuhiro Watsuki and many other respected businessmen who make RK available to the masses.
Now what about Buddha Boy and Ninja Gal?
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
- Say it With a Smile!
The hustle and bustle of the train station split and ran around the tall man, like the current of a raging river. And Aoshi, ever the immobile face of granite, planted himself in the walkway, refusing to move. Why should he? This was the vantage point, perfect for spotting his Misao-chan who would be running along in the undercurrent. It wouldn't be hard to miss her. Ever since they had received the invitation, the ninja couldn't stop bouncing from here to there, springing on the balls of her feet, the braid swinging from side to side, the two pools of cerulean blue sparkling up at him as she pleaded with him to let her go . . .
And how could he say no? He could never say no to her, but she would need some chaperoning of course. Omasu and Okon were too busy tending the Aoiya, while Kuro and Shiro were out on assignment. So that left either himself or Okina, and the Grandfather wouldn't enjoy such a long train ride, with no passing young ladies to squander his time away with.
Now that old man would never learn.
So, being the kind hearted leader that he was, he volunteered for the mission: to shepherd Misao to the Kamiya Dojo in Tokyo, sit aside her while she celebrated this 'anniversary dinner' Battousai's woman was going on and on about, and then return her back to Kyoto with a smile on her face. If not a smile on his.
A cool breeze ruffled his bangs and Aoshi welcomed the resulting shift in his thoughts; from Misao to the natural world. Closing his eyes, he slipped into meditation, mentally preparing himself for the remainder of the day. There would be children laughing, women cackling, the ever- persistent clack of the wheels on the tracks, the gentle swaying of the train cabin as the steam engine chugged across the countryside. He would be praying for his temple of repentance during that time.
At least, that had been his intention, but as soon as his eyelids shut, Misao became the natural world. He imagined her breath was the wind, her voice the song of the birds as they flitted high overhead. With eyes still closed, he turned his head to the sound of her toes sliding against the pebbles on the road, or the roar of the ocean in his mind, and was met by her eyes shimmering back at him. Oh, he could finally find peace by diving into those waters, he was sure of it.
He reawakened only to hold his mouth in a straight line. No way was he going to smile a smile that wasn't completely and wholly hers. And he wasn't about to pull back the corners of his lips in a broad grin if she wasn't there to see it.
And he had just heard her. Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes screened the crowd for her likeness. They darted to the vendor's carts, the ticket booth, and back again to the torrent streaming around him. So where was she already? His little ninja was nowhere to be found.
"Think of something else Shinomori," he whispered to himself. "And don't let it be - "
"Aoshi-sama!"
He bowed his head then turned on his heel to face her. "Misao-chan,"
Kami-sama, it was so hard not to smile when her Genki grin was plastered on her face. She stood before him, head cocked endearingly to one side, her hands clasping a flat box in front of her.
"Are you ready to go now?" he was careful not to let his tone sound too annoyed. "The train has already arrived,"
"Hai!" She nodded and the braid bounced behind her, "I just had to pick up some sweets for Kaoru-chan." She blushed, "as well as something for Megumi- san,"
The tint to her cheeks threatened to leap off her face and flush his. Kaoru-san had mentioned something about the annoying Rooster and that equally annoying little fox being somewhat of an item, a secret one at that.
No one was supposed to know, but the boy had blabbed and all was common knowledge. Fools. Everyone close to the group at the dojo was privy to the fact that their whole affair was anything but secret, except for the couple harboring it.
Suppressing a chuckle, he covered it with a cough, and took a step forward. "Good, then let's go," starting to walk against the current; he was assured that the waters would part for his person, allowing Misao to trail behind in the gap. She chattered sweetly about the weather, her chirpings mingling with the chorus of finches gathering on the roof of the station.
"Is that a new coat?" her voice drifted up to him from far away.
He paused in his step and caught himself before letting the surprise creep upon his seemingly cold countenance. She had noticed?
Aoshi no baka, of course she had noticed. Anyone on the street who knows you notices. Misao is simply no exception to the rule. Yes, that's right, she's just a person on the street. Not someone who knows you better than you know yourself. Not someone who melts your heart every time they say your name. Not someone that you lo -
Don't act like the common lovesick fool around her! Just after you chastised those barnyard enemies for playing hide and seek and now what are you doing? Counting till ten before your little weasel can find you. And she knows you so well; she'll happen upon your shadow of solitude, pounce at your slightest hesitation, leaving you completely defenseless in your weakest moment.
Absently, he shoved a man out of their way to cover the time lag in his thoughts. "Yes, it's new," he threw over his shoulder, pretending not to notice her look of astonishment.
But the look soon flickered to one of inert interest, "Aoshi-sama, is there something wrong with you today?" she asked with those eyes that drove him to meditate over how he could possibly cleanse himself enough to live, much less to deserve her.
He sniffed, laughing off any possible implications creeping through her question. "Nothing of the sort." Shinomori you liar. Remember the game? Well tag, you're it. Really, it couldn't be farther from the truth my little weasel. Strangely enough, his refusal to embrace his feelings put an end to any other questions pressing in on her mind and they walked the rest of the way in silence. He didn't even see the dejected little ninja trailing in the wake of his trench coat, hiding behind each huge flutter of the fabric.
At last they came to the train, a large fuming thing that reminded Aoshi more of a dragon than any wonder of technology. But his Misao-chan was enamored with it. She rushed right up to the edge of the platform and bent to examine it with wide-eyed interest.
The smile was pressing in on him now, so that he could feel every one of the muscles around his mouth tense in anticipation. She looked just like the little girl he had trained, the little girl he had cradled against him when the lightning threatened to strike her good dreams.
"Come on Aoshi-sama!" she turned and the wind caught the loose strands of her hair in its fingers, twirling them about her face. For a brief second, she gave into the caress and closed her eyes, her chest rising as she breathed in the scent of the flowers riding the air, giving herself over to the tender touch of nature. He felt himself inhale simultaneously, hoping to experience whatever sense of calm she received as the wind whipped around her. It was so easy for her, how he wished he could get that peace of mind by just standing in the breeze, letting the world enfold him in its embrace. Closing his eyes as she opened hers, he tried to let himself go as she did, to let the air carry away the massive weight on his shoulders.
Misao recovered faster than he did. Pinned on her left toe, she spun with the grace of a ballerina and ran over to him. She stopped, almost falling over her own feet when she found him frozen in place, watching the train seething steam. "Aoshi-sama, you all right?"
With a start he looked down at her and nodded wordlessly. Feeling the pallor of straight terror stretching itself over his features, Aoshi put a palm to his forehead and massaged the peak at his hairline with a pointer and thumb. He was a man, twenty-seven years old, and a well-respected leader of one of the greatest ninja bands in all of western Japan. He should be able to cover his tracks well enough, but for some strange reason, this girl was and would always be able to dust the sand he had kicked over his footprints away. Considering his current mental state, he was beginning to forget to walk in the steps of others, hiding his trail from his pursuer. Had he made sure to curb his enthusiasm in front of Okina at the very idea of escorting Misao to Tokyo? Was he forcing his voice to remain calm, instead of letting it come naturally monotonous, when she asked him a question? Questions second-guessing how he continued to hold himself in her presence flooded through his mind.
Even if he couldn't be sure of his ability to keep this secret, one thing was for sure: if he wasn't careful, this was going to be one catastrophic journey.
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Yet another green hill flew past their cabin at the speed of light and Aoshi blew a disinterested stream of air between his teeth. How could anyone enjoy seeing the country like this? Wiggling his toes, he reminded himself of how wonderful it was to walk, to wander in the nature that now buzzed by him like an insect. He wanted to swat it away. 'Please, go bug someone else with your artificiality,' he thought to himself, 'I'm not in the mood.'
A flicker of black with emerald highlights played at his peripheral vision as Misao glanced over at him from the window seat. "Isn't it beautiful, Aoshi-sama?"
He brightened, pulling himself up from a slouch into an alert position. Yes, now this was a much better view than the blur of Japan's rice patties.
"Yes Misao," he eyed her coolly from beneath his bangs. The reflection of the passing countryside reflected in her eyes, those smiling happy eyes that always shined up at him. Staring at the phenomenon, he felt the seat he was perched on slide about beneath him, the train taking a turn north. Before his cat-like reflexes could claw him back into place, he had slid across the bench to tower over her, the happy eyes now wide in apprehension as he whispered, "Very beautiful."
She looked up at him, body still twisted over her torso to ask him about the view. "Nani?"
With his arms splayed out at the sides in a desperate attempt to keep him from crushing her, Aoshi was frozen. And try as he might to unlock his elbows, the more he struggled, the closer he was pressed to her. Panic flashed across his eyes briefly before he twisted his left shoulder forward, his chin brushing along the feathers of her bangs, and wrenched himself free of the compromising position.
"Aoshi-sama, what just happened?"
"I slid." Never mind the fact that his head was spinning, his skin slightly burning with the remembrance of her hair tickling it, the heat that had been squeezed out between them still draped about his chest and neck like a comforting old blanket. Never mind that deep longing to go back in time and seize her in his arms, pull her closer until the heat engulfed both of them and they were swallowed by flames.
Yes, Shinomori. Never mind all of that.
"Oh, alright," she turned back to the window and set her sights on the passing farmlands. But this time he heard the dejected tone she cradled so thoughtfully against her apathy.
He looked down at his hands and fisted them in his lap. "I'm sorry,"
'If I couldn't help but to not stop myself from colliding into you. If I can't tell you that I lo-'
From around her back that was turned to him, she sighed. "I told you, it's alright."
But it's not right, Misao. It's not right that you don't feel loved even though you are. And not just by an elder brother who raised you to be a fighter, but by a man who told you that the Oniwaban must be brave and he can't even follow his own advice.
His eyes traced the motions of her bored fingertips as she drew out something on the glass. And look now she's uncomfortable and it's all your fault . . . once again.
"Misao, I-"
"I said I'm fine, Aoshi-sama," she paused as if mulling over the past events and how he had just apologized for something completely out of his control. Turning on her side, she set a lowered blue eye on him over her shoulder and smiled. "But thanks,"
Aoshi suddenly realized that since discommoding himself, he hadn't moved away from her seat. He was so close that he -
CATASTROPHE! The little alarm went off in his head as his mind seriously drifted off into wild daydreams involving himself and the little ninja steaming up their corner booth.
Aoshi shook his head, clearing his mind of all thoughts having to do with fire and burning over Misao. Nope. Nadda. Not gonna happen. Not in a million years would he ever overcome his cowardice. He could become the Okashira at the age of fifteen, defend Edo Castle from the fires of the Revolution, and attempt to kill the craziest man in the world, but for the life of him, he couldn't express his feelings. Coward, coward, coward. And you berate the Chicken-head for hiding his feelings for so long? Or the Battousai, who continues to live with the woman of his dreams, but fears for her safety? Are your doubts really so well unfounded?
But with Misao, she always knows your feelings. Maybe you don't need to show them then, she would just . . . know. Is it really that easy?
Easy or not, it would be difficult, a new adjustment. His knees began to shake as he sat there, so close to her. "Misao?"
Having cooled off from her personal rebuke, Misao turned around fully to face him. "Yes?"
"I -"
Dammit Shinomori! Just say it. You may think she knows you better than you know yourself, but you know her just as well, if not better. You remember what makes her smile, (you) and what makes her frown, (you). You remember every time she had a nightmare and came running into your bed, seeking salvation from the bad dreams. You remember that night you left, and you like to think you don't remember her leaning out the window, crying out your name as you marched off to achieve certain glory for the Oniwabanshu. You know how she loves to stand in the wind and feel the fabric flutter against her legs and you know the way the sun shines upon her hair, making her glow from head to toe. And you know how she revels in the power she receives from nature. You know the world around her sings when she leaps through it, and you know that your heart beats when she smiles at you. So just give it all back to her, how well you understand her and what makes her cry a hundred-fold and it will be easy, just wait and see.
Reaching for her hand, he found it, and pulled it down to fill the space on the bench between them. Then, feeling the muscles tugging at the corners of his mouth, he gave into their pulling, relentless in their effort to chisel away his rocky exterior and break him away to the true being he was.
He smiled.
And not only did he smile, he said her name. It wasn't just 'Misao'. The two syllables that slipped past the curve of his lips were ground deep in longing, accompanied shortly after by his thumb stroking the skin between her forefinger and thumb. Turning over their clasped hands, he brought them up to his smile and softly pressed the back of her hand to his mouth, barely even touching his lips to her skin. It was so soft, smoothed by the oil rub she applied every night. The one that made him know that she had danced through the house even after she had long departed.
"Aoshi," she breathed at the intimate display as he set their hands back down on her lap, her brilliant blue eyes following the path of her hand wrapped in his like a child amazed at a magic trick.
But did the trick ever overwhelm the magician at the same time?
"I'm sorry for the first half of this year," he squeezed her hand. "But I am hoping that I can make it up to you with the second half."
"H-Hai," She smiled, the look on her face screaming uncertainty and disbelief. "Do anything you wish, I trust you."
She trusted him after all he had done to her. After all the pain he had caused, and she had not drawn her hand away when he had grasped it. And now she said 'anything'. Trust came first, nothing could possibly break that trust.
No matter how much he wanted to test its boundaries.
With a tug on her hand, he brought her close enough to rest her head on his chest. She was so fragile, as delicate as a feather. Bringing up a hand to clasp her shoulder gently he breathed a sigh of relief. He was worried that if he moved any faster, he would create a sudden gust that would sweep her out of his arms and out the window.
He swallowed. "I'm not really sure how this will work," as close as he had gotten to her, he was determined to control his voice. There was no wavering or emotion. His admittance was as smooth and icy as ever. "But if you're willing to trust me as you already do and try,"
"Try?" She practically leapt out of his tentative embrace to set her wide ocean set eyes on him. She frightened him with that look complete with pursed lips and a cautious glare. Then she broke his brief moment of sweating panic with a smile of her own. Coyly, she drew their hands up to her cheek and grinned even wider. "Do you even need to ask?"
"It's all a gentleman can do," he blinked back, smiling freely now for her. "It's all that," he gulped again, the full effect of his cowardice struggling to color his cheeks, "I can do,"
"Oh, Aoshi-sama," she fell back over his chest, the hand wrapped about her fingers pressing dangerously close against her breast. "I just wanted to find you, and instead I found your smile,"
Pulling his free arm about her shoulders, he hugged her to him. "You've always had it, Misao-chan," Dropping his cheek down onto her hair, he whispered, "You've always understood me,"
"I feel the same way," she mumbled blissfully into the fabric of his shirt.
He started to rub her shoulder in thought, "You never gave up on me," he stopped with a frown. Even after he had abandoned her, even after he had told her, straight to her face, 'I never want to see you again, leave'. And even after he had taken to seclusion in the temple, even then she had not given up hope that someday her Aoshi-sama would return to the land of the living breathing human being who realizes he was wrong and strives to make up for it. Yes, she and she alone believed in him, believed that he would someday recover and be her protector and mentor once more.
"I couldn't. I love you." She drew herself up within the confines of his embrace to look him eye-to-eye, or as close as that would allow given their obvious height difference. "I still love you Aoshi, don't you know that?"
'What a coincidence, I love you too'. That's what he should say, instead of letting himself be held in the hands of panic/shock/distress/oblivious exultation. "Do you really?"
She must have interpreted his obvious trepidation for she shook her head and ground her teeth. "How could you not know? Yes, this little sister of yours has adored you for many years, but now she loves you, has truly loved you since the moment you held her has a baby." She gripped his arm, the very arm that had shielded her from the cold as an infant. "She loves you, and you don't know it."
"I do know it," the train swerved again, lurching to the right, curving not only itself about the ocean, as well as a very nervous former Okashira about his own. When the motion had settled, he was kneeling on the floor, the rest of his body arching over hers, supported by the two arms that shook violently under the pressure of the moment. Aoshi stared into those blue eyes of hers, those endless depths that he longed to dive within and come out purified. "And I return your feelings a hundred-fold," Slowly, he leaned his head forward to hers, kissing her softly before drawing back, a wide smile on his face.
" . . . " For the first time in her life, Misao was speechless, and Aoshi somewhat gloried inwardly over that fact. But she soon recovered, "So now what?" she bit her lip endearingly.
He leaned back on his heels, and casting his eyes off to the side, set his face to the familiar hard granite as he pondered. "Well," he started casually, staving off the emotion. Just wait a bit longer. "I think I should kiss you a little more, then hold you until the train stops." His eyes flicked over to hers and he pulled his lips back over his teeth, flashing her a brilliant smile as he moved to sit back on the bench. Dropping the monotone, he pulled her into his lap, "Is that alright with you?"
It was quite alright, as he knew it would be.
And all it took was a smile.
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A/N: YAY! Hope that satisfied all the hopes and whims of all you fans out there! (30 reviews, I'm so happy for DSIWF! Boy, this was a hard story to write . . . I constantly struggled to make this different from 'Tears of Buddha', and it turned out a little different, not quite the stretch I wanted, but I started fairly realistically in 'Tears' that it would be hard to change him for any other story I write . . . actually, he turned out just a little looser, at least that's what I think. -_- zzz sleepy. Anyway, now onto the Dinner, which I hope to have soon. I have so many ideas, now that all the couples are cute together, kissy kissy and all. The girls are gonna visit that fountain they visited in ep "To My Angel Misao" to thank the god of that fountain. Kaoru's feelings crossed to Kenshin, Misao saw Aoshi smile, and Megumi will throw herself down at its feet to thank Kami-sama that Sano finally got a brain. It wasn't impossible afterall. And don't you worry, blackmail will abound, thanks to Yahiko and a nervous Sanosuke . . . I'm so evil. So now while I go and work on reading for English, you go off and REVIEW if ya like! A REVIEW is always appreciated! ^_^