A/N: I don't own ER or any of it's characters. This story takes place during season 6 during "All in the Family." Yes, this is a Cary fic because, yes, I believe it that episode should've ended up differently. I'm a Carcy lover and if you aren't, that's fine too. Anyhoo, this is my interpretation on what should've happened. (if Kellie Martin didn't leave to complete college.) Also, all of the opening quotes are from the song State of Mind by Merril Bainbridge.
Chapter 4: Leaving?
"Everything seems so strange
Try but I can't seem to make a decision
That's right
I feel it pounding like a drum
Inside my brain
I feel it
If it doesn't stop I'll go insane
I feel it
Tearing at my soul."
"Hey, Lucy." Mark said coming in the room with Carter close behind.
"Hey, Dr. Greene." She whispered in a raspy voice. She mentally cursed herself and started to rub her throat in pain.
"How you feeling?" He asked while starting to perform a check-up and Carol wrote on her chart. Carter just stood next to Carol and looked on in amazement.
"About as good as can be expected." She said more pain coming to her throat.
"Here. Drink this." Carol said handing here a glass of water. Lucy gave her a small smile taking the glass and Carol returned the smile before going back to writing on the chart.
"Lucy, I need you do me a favor." She shook her head and handed the glass to Carol. Mark uncovered her and revealed her legs. "I need you to tell me when you feel the pin." She shook her head knowing the procedure. He started at her toes and slowly made his way up. She was scared because she couldn't feel the pin at all. Lucy licked her lips because they were so dry and sighed heavily. Mark looked up to Carol and Carter and they knew what he was thinking, even Lucy was thinking it. She was until she finally felt the pin, it was a small pinch but it was there and that was a good sign. They all smiled and she gave a sigh of relief. "That's good, Lucy. Great. We'll be right back, okay?" She nodded and Mark motioned for Carter and Carol to follow him outside. After Carol set the water down on a table, she followed the two worried doctors.
"Is she gonna be alright, Mark?" Carter asked after Mark motioned for Carol to shut the door.
"As far as I can tell, she's gonna be fine. She's awake, eyes are responsive and she still has feeling in her legs. She'll need to take a lot of physical therapy, maybe 3-5 months worth, but I think she'll be fine."
"What about her voice?" Carol asked looking back into the room seeing Lucy close her eyes and lay her head back down on the pillow.
"I'm not sure. I think she'll be fine. Mr. Sobriki didn't get the knife in far enough to puncture any major arteries but it will take time to heal. All in all, I think you've got your student back." He smiled at Carter who had the same "ear-to-ear" smile on his face. Mark patted Carter's shoulder as he and Carol went back into Lucy's room and told her the good news. Carter watched them for a second before going back downstairs and telling the others she was alive, awake and well.
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1 Month Later (April):
Everyone was glad to see Lucy alive. They were even more glad to see Carter not moping around. Now he was on Cloud 9 almost 24/7, this was all well and good except for the fact that he never left Lucy alone. Kerry allowed Lucy to work in the hospital since she, like Carter refused to lie in bed all day. She would be working from a wheel chair and on small cases, but there was nothing that could be done about that. Being a student wasn't as much fun as it had been. The main reason besides her temporary wheel chair was that she was never left alone with a patient and could only do thinggs like apply a cast or a small suture.
She was in physical therapy at the moment, alone. Dave was her doctor, per his request--he'd beaten Carter to the punch. Lucy was on some parallel bars when Carter walked into the room. He looked at her before speaking. He watched her struggle to stay standing and saw the pain in her eyes while doing so. He felt so guilty that he only had a months worth of what she was going through because Sobriki felt that Lucy deserved a more severe punishment.
"Hey there." He said cheerfully walking towards her. She looked up and smiled at him.
"Hey. What are you doing up here?" She said trying to concentrate.
"I'm on break. Where's Dave?"
"I got a little hungry so he left to get some lunch."
"You do know that your not supposed to be on these bars without a spotter, right?" He said with a smile knowing she knew the rules.
"Well, I'm not gonna get any better by sitting in that chair and laying in bed all day." He nodded respectfully understanding what she meant. He thought he was going to die the whole time he was in therapy. Lucky for him though, it only lasted a month. She was near the end of the bars when she suddenly lost her footing and tripped. Carter knelt down to help her but she stopped him. "No, Carter. I have to do this on my own."
"You're right." He said getting up and bringing her wheelchair to her. She was up again by that point and she looked up him.
"I hate this." She said shaking her head while making her way closer to the wheel chair.
"I know. I did too. But it gets easier. Look on the bright side, according to your chart you've only got 5 months left in here. By then, you should be up and walking around." He smiled at her while she hopped into the wheel chair.
"You don't understand." Disgusted, she shook her head and wheeled away from him.
"What?" He said confused as he watched her move away from him and toward the door.
"Nothing. Never mind."
"No. Lucy, what's wrong?" He said following her then stepping in the way of her path toward the door. "Talk to me." He said kneeling down to face her with a coaxing smile. He wasn't really being serious because he didn't think she was--what with her talking to him and all. They had been avoiding each other since she woke up.
"Get out of the way, Dr. Carter." She said harshly looking up at him.
""Dr. Carter?" Since when do you call me that?" He said a little worried getting up.
"Since I'm mad at you, now get out of my way." She said pushing his legs out of her way forcefully.
"Lucy, what's wrong? Seriously, tell me." He looked down to her with concern in his eyes. She sighed and shook her head again.
"That. That right there--that look." She said with disdain.
"What look?" He said not understanding what she was insinuating.
"That look of pity. Don't think I don't know what you're thinking. I can see it in your eyes, Dr. Carter. I can see it in everyone's eyes."
"Lucy, I don't know what your talking about." He said half truthfully. He knew what she was talking about. Everyone gave him looks of pity at times. Not about his condition, but on what happened and how guilty he felt about Lucy.
"Don't lie! You think I don't know what everybody says behind my back? "Aw, look. There goes Lucy. Poor thing. She was lucky but who knows how long it's gonna last.""
"Nobody thinks that!" He replied shocked by how little she thought of everyone. No one would ever think that about someone, at least no one in the hospital--unless you count Romano. He was the only exception.
"Yes, they do! I hear it all the time. Because I'm in this god damn chair, no one can see me when I walk…roll by." She emphasized her hate of the word "roll." "I'm the latest piece of gossip, Dr. Carter. You think that would be pretty cool--make someone feel special. Well, it doesn't! I wake up and I go to bed and all day I can see people pitying me. I can hear in their voices. Even the patients do it!"
"Lucy--" He started trying to comfort her.
"No! I won't hear anyone else say things are gonna get better and that I'll be okay because I'm not!" She sighed heavily a little embarrassed. She looked him in his eyes and started again, only more softly as not to damage her trachea any more then it was. "Look…I'm…I'm going away for a while."
"What?" He replied indisbelief not understanding. "You can't be serious? Lucy, you can't leave! You'd be disrupting your recovery."
"I'd be disrupting it here, Dr. Carter. I'm going back home."
"Lucy, I have to tell you that I don't agree with this."
"I don't care. I'm tired of being here and knowing that the people I care about most, including you, pity me. I don't want or need it." She finished cruelly.Lucy lowered her head, putting her hands on the wheels ashe moved out of her wayand she pushed the door open. "A friend of mine is flying in tomorrow and when my shift and therapy session are over, I'm going." They looked at each other for another second before she left the room. Dave met up with her a moment later down the hall with a turkey sandwich for her.
"I'm sorry." He whispered to himself.
Chapter 5: Friends
Preview: Lucy tells Carter how she feels.