A/N: I don't own ER or any of it's characters. This story takes place during season 6 during "All in the Family." Yes, this is a Cary fic because, yes, I believe it that episode should've ended up differently. I'm a Carcy lover and if you aren't, that's fine too. Anyhoo, this is my interpretation on what should've happened. (if Kellie Martin didn't leave to complete college.) Also, all of the opening quotes up to chapter 5 are from the song State of Mind by Merril Bainbridge.

Chapter 6: Thoughts

"Where do I go from here?
Or am I just like a clock spinning round
Everything seems unclear."

Everyone felt the sting of the dark cloud hovering over the hospital since Lucy left. She had been gone now for 3 months and things seemed slower than usual. A gunshot wound here, borken leg there--the procedures were the same but the hospital was missing it's once happy workers. The surgical ward had been packed more often since graduations had occured. Many of it's patients had been drunk teens. Not all that surprising when they thought about it. Seeing so many kids die in front of them made coming into work even harder for Elizabeth. Romano on the other, was surprisingly upbeat and it sickened everyone to no end.

Mark, Kerry, Luka and everyone else in the ER was having a hard time as well. The surgical ward thought they had it tough, but for the patients that did survive sugery, they'd end up in recovery or intensive care. Some would even be stable, then out of no where need to go into the OR or ER again. Those were just teenageers. Adults and kids weren't fairing any better. The doctors weren't doing so hot either.

Everyone had to pick up the slack with so many patients now and were working till all hours of the night. Mark, Luka and Dave were on call all the time and never went home. Chuny and the rest of the nurses had almost no time to gossip. Though a little dissappointed they couldn't discuss why they thought Lucy really left, it was probably for the best that they didn't.

Carter had been effected more than anyone. He had retreated to his sulking state again and barely spoke more then two words to anyone. Not only that, hewas sent away to Atlanta for a drug addiction. He couldn't get Lucy's words out of his head to whole time he was gone, "I do blame you." It was one thing for Carter to blame himself but for Lucy to blame him was something else entirely. He felt so guilty; well, guiltier. Carter blamed himself for happened to Lucy, not Sobriki, but himself. He was hoping that when Lucy woke up she would tell him that it wasn't his fault and that there was nothing he could have done. But that, apparently, would never happen. Not now, not ever. She was gone. He'd returned but now had to go to AA meetings with Abby as his temporary sponsor; since she was a 5 year recovered alcoholic, take medication,take random urine testsand meet with Kerry and Mark as check ups on how he was doing.

Among other things, Jerry and Carol had left as well. Jerry was replaced by Frank, a former PI. While Carol had left for Seattle to be with Doug. Kerry was on the war path, especially with new Med students coming in the next month and a half. She wanted Cook County to be in tip-top shape. In her opinion, everyone seemed to be slacking off. Understandably so, all of them were sleep deprived.

So much had been going on. Mark and Elizabeth were engaged and moving into a new home together. Chen, or Deb as everyone called her, told Kerry she was 22 weeks pregnant without telling her who the father was. But that didn't stop Dave and some of the nurses from prying and asking some of the hospitals employees if they knew who he was, or if they were he himself. She eventually decided to put the baby up for adoption and visited the child's father, Nurse Frank Bacon. Abby was now a full-time nurse since her ex stopped paying for her Med school tuition, and sees a side of Luka she never expected when he beats a mugger to death while they're on a date.

Benton had "fired himself," in the words of Romano, because of a fine he got while refusing to perform surgery on a homeless man named Fletcher. Romano blackballed Benton all around the nearest counties so he couldn't find work until Elizabeth nailed him a job in Philadelphia. He turned it down and he and Cleo broke up because of his decision to almost leave with telling her. He stayed at County working a no-bebfit job down in the ER.He had also lost his nephew Jesse after he was shot and killed, and because of a few comments Dave made without knowing who Jesse was, Benton beat the shit out of him.

But other than all that, things were pretty much normal.

Chapter 7: Return

Preview: The ER gets a big surprise.