Don't Say it With Flowers!
By Starhopper
Disclaimer: Don't want to write the same disclaimer that I've been using for the previous chapters . . . nor do I feel that I have to say this every time: NO!
SPOILER WARNING! For the OAVs. A slight one, but a spoiler nonetheless. (It's a spoiler for anyone who hasn't learned about Tomoe and what she *wink* 'did' for our little Kenny-chan.
Well, back to the mush. There had to be SOME introspection and character analysis in this story. I'm working with too many different characters that I have to "Or else I'll overflow". And slip in some opinions of my own in the attempt. ^_~ (Cookies for those who know who said that quote and from what series!)
TERMS: Hoshi - star, Hikari - light, Anata - dear, more intimate form for 'you'
I think everyone's getting sleepy, sans the chicken and fox who just slipped out the back door with wicked looking grins on their faces. Time for beddy-by!
Angst, fluff, more angst, more fluff, and a futon ahead!
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- Say it With a Celebration Part 7: Celebrate the Comfort of a Futon
The stars. Too many to name, too many to know, but each had a special charm.
And the former rurouni counted himself lucky to be sitting on the porch of his permanent home, staring up into the wonders the heavens held. Every star seemed to be out tonight to brighten his dark skies. How had he earned the trust of his world to let him feel tiny and small, dimming his insignificance to the point of utter extinction? Just crush him between the thumb and forefinger of an ancient god, and his past would dissolve out of existence.
But then he would shift his gaze and let it wander over the garden and woods beyond and realize how important his life was to this world. To this world he had dimmed many stars. Not in the cycle of nature, but by his own human divination . . . and prematurely.
Shutting his eyes quickly as a tear collected at the corner of his left eye, Kenshin forced his head down to stare at the earth between his feet. So many lights suffocated, so many vengeances seeking to be wrought on this golden-eyed candlesnuffer.
No, they were lives, not lights. That was a correction that had to be made. Lights had no brother who tormented them as children. Lights had no intense passions coursing through them as they made love for the first time. Lights couldn't cry as their daughter took her first breath. Lights couldn't mourn the form of life lying in shreds at the base of shrine steps and lights couldn't read the assassin's note pinned to what used to be that husband's favorite gi.
Just as his head was sinking in his hands and the tears started to finally fall, the soft shuffle of her sandals politely stamped out the silence of a scream cut short as a blade, his blade, halved the vocal chords.
He had to be strong for her.
He had to protect her.
And he couldn't do this by crying.
Kenshin shot his head up and turning, regarded Kaoru pensively.
"Kenshin," with those lyrical syllables, she knelt down beside him. It was obvious from the look of concern marring her beautiful face that she knew this smile. And she knew it was a fake. "Daijoub - "
Her light, her marvelous light; he only wished he could bottle it and drink in this elixir of innocence that she was swimming in. Here again she was guiding him from the darkness to the wonderful warmth of a bright, vibrant star.
"Hoshi," Kenshin breathed before letting the emotions flood to the surface in an embrace that knocked her to the ground. He wanted to touch a living star and drench her in his tears. "Hikari,"
She in turn just let him hold her, humming softly
"You blind me sometimes Kaoru," he whispered as the embrace was tightened with the urgency of a man losing his heaven. It wouldn't slip out of his hands, regardless of the memories dripping from them like blood. The weight of his lithe body rolled him over her heavily-clad-in-kimono one, and an arm shot out over her head to brace himself against the floor. "When I look at you, I can never see my past," he continued, staring deep into her wide sapphire eyes, "Or watch agony draw its last breath." His lips captured hers hungrily, wanting nothing more than to completely inhale that light as dark tears curved off his chin and splattered her porcelain complexion.
When at last the ex-hitokiri somewhat begrudgingly broke the kiss, he nuzzled her nose with his, teasing her head into following every movement of the nod to proceed with the tenderness that was she entangled in. Catching the moment before she snatched it, Kenshin whispered, "Arigatou," before easing himself onto the floor, the intense strength of his embrace never waning.
They lay together face to face on the porch, his bracing arm pillowing her head, Kaoru's palms flat against his chest in every gesture of how much trust she placed in this man pouring his heart out to her. It was rare to hear him talk about his past laden with such pain that she kept her lips pressed together and let him cry over the strong blows fate had dealt to him. This was the man she loved, she would share his burden, she would be there for him. He deserved an ear to hear his problems and a body to hold on to for dear life.
Suddenly a hand sprang to life and wriggled out of her love's hold to dance along his arm, stopping as she approached a pronounced muscle, and giving a reassuring squeeze as her fingers went over them.
"So much strength," she marveled aloud, eyes locked onto the velvet softness of his eyes. "So much sadness," her other hand palmed a tear thoughtlessly forging another trail down his face. "So much."
"Aa," he returned her touch with a tentative massage at the base of her neck.
"Let me share it," Kaoru bit her lip at the thought. If he was understanding how truly devoted she was to his own pursuit of happiness, the idea wouldn't repulse him.
"Iie. You deserve happiness de gozaru na," Kenshin answered her reproachfully with a slight shake of his rust-crested head.
"Ano," Kaoru's eyes flashed in defiance, but curled deeper into his embrace regardless with a whimper, breaking their eye-contact, "Ai-aishiteru,"
"Oro?"
She smacked him in the chest half-heartedly, then unfurled herself to stare him in the eyes. "Aishiteru Kenshin," the caress of her hand on his arm stopped and was overcome by it bending around his neck and her mouth moving against his without hunger, but a soft, tentative passion.
Love. It was the brightest light of all.
No wonder she shined in all its brilliance.
As she cut off the kiss by taking unfair advantage of the dizzy-state his mind was in, Kaoru started to wiggle off the constraining embrace, but stopped midway as his left arm darted out and grasped her wrist.
He sat up, amethyst eyes pulsating with a serious intention that both scared and thrilled her at the same time.
Kaoru shook her head girlishly, "Iie, I-"
"Aishiteru Kaoru," and dropping her wrist, Kenshin traced the outline of her face with his finger; the mischievous grin of the rurouni who'd captured her heart curling his lips. "If you'll have me,"
The girl paused, the words weighted down by hope and heart sinking into her very being . . . before cuffing her boyfriend lightly over the head. "Kenshin no baka,"
Before Kenshin could inquire as to why he'd been hit and batted over the head, Kaoru shook her head and grabbed his hand. "C'mon Anata, let's watch the stars,"
"Iie," he balked at her insistence to dangle his feet off the edge of the porch again, staring up into the infinity that made him contemplate the deeper meaning to his existence. "I have all the starlight I need,"
Her eyes began to water, a fitting smile forming upon her red lips. "Kenshi- "
"Let's go to bed de gozaru," His night did not have to end because of exhaustion. He could have the brilliance of the heavens in his arms in the less-demanding atmosphere of his room.
"Hai," Kaoru cast a longing sapphire gaze towards his room down the walk, then with a sigh dutifully set those eyes in the direction of her room and shifted in that direction.
"Iie," a hand found her shoulder and turned her back to face him. Kenshin shook his head slightly, becoming aware that she meant go to HER bed. "With me, de goz-"
However, Kaoru went red at the thought. "We can't," Pressing the tips of her fingers together, she reasoned silently that no matter how much she wanted to fall asleep in those strong and scarred arms of his, it would be scandalous, sinful . . . and all the more appealing. She blushed, recalling her dreams of late, and their involvement with the red-haired rurouni.
Kenshin sighed, then it hit him with the force of Saitou's Aku-Soku-San. "Dame! Not," blushing himself silly, he thought over the million daydreams he had had of committing such an act with the Kamiya Kasshin Master. Kaoru lying beneath him, moaning his name, driving him further and further over the edge. She'd finally be his, he'd make her his, it was only right that two lovers make lo –
"Ano," and shaking his head, whipped such thoughts out of it with earnest. He could not think that way if he wanted her to literally sleep next to him and have her wake up in the morning still pure, still innocent. "Just with me," stroking her cheek with the back of his hand, he whispered pleadingly, "I want you near,"
Kaoru could feel her eyes widen in disbelief of what he was offering her. His room was private, a sanctuary, or so she conjectured between after breakfast and before her lessons in her passings in front of the modest space. It seemed so vacant with the futon always folded in the corner and the floor impeccably clean, but the shoji left ajar signaled his presence. And it was his presence that she felt in that room, as barren and unloved as it appeared to the eye at first glance . . . very much like it's owner.
Fanning herself, the nineteen year old prepared to stand when she found Kenshin already up on his feet and bending down to lend her a hand. Once pressed close to his chest, she found no reason to say no. After all, he HAD proposed the idea himself.
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Tiptoeing through her own house made Kaoru uncomfortable enough, but when her wary gaze settled on the guest room with it's shoji wide open, she just wanted to take his hand and run to his room. But she couldn't help but pause and tilt her head at the sweetness of her friend's repose. She was genuinely happy for Misao, who had finally managed to tame that wild, stand- offish man she had loved all her life. And, just like the rest of their relationships, it was a breathtaking mutual exchange of affections.
Kenshin saw them too, but was too focused on his goal at hand to stop and gaze upon the slumbering couple. However, when he felt Kaoru anchor his progress, he turned back and finding her smiling with the kindness of her lovely heart, moved to press her back into his chest and settle his chin on her right shoulder. The scene that greeted his disinterested gaze was one of Aoshi Shinomori lying flat on his back with Misao curled over his side, sleeping peaceably under his left arm. Resting on the ninja's chest were entwined right and left hands, the right thumb stroking the left's knuckles. But the smiles both wore told much more of how wonderful it felt to be in love and be loved.
With a grin, Kenshin caught Kaoru's hand and stepping away with a husky whisper of, "Sleepy yet?" spun her back to him.
The teenager yawned in reply and with one last look upon what she hoped would be herself and Kenshin in a few moments, followed his steps down the hallway, their hands linked between them.
Pushing aside the shoji, Kenshin took a breath then turned back to take both of Kaoru's hands in his. "This is what you want, right Kaoru?" he asked her with the tone hinting at his disbelief that she was really here. "Are you sure you-"
A finger over his lips caught him off-guard. "Kenshin, I love you," her features softened, yielding a dazzling smile. "I trust you."
If she trusted him, then it was time to finally use that futon.
Memories of a winter night darkened at the thought of waking up alone, his innocence lost with an absent Tomoe. It wouldn't happen again, Kaoru wouldn't leave him and he would not leave her.
Reassured, the twenty-nine year old skidded to a stop in the corner and began to lay out the futon for her – er – them, and once it was fluffed just right, turned back to kneel in front of Kaoru. "You honor me," fires of amethyst flitted up to send her oceans of blue boiling. "For letting me sleep with one of the heavens de gozaru na."
Feeling her own knees give, Kaoru sunk to the floor in front of him, palming his scarred cheek in the process. She drew his face closer to hers and pressed to his lips a kiss as soft as the down of a feather.
"You honor me," she breathed in the intimate space between them, her fingers still trailing his jaw-line, "for letting me make you so happy,"
A smile of relief flashed over his features before his hands rose from their pressed position on the floor and gripped her shoulders. "Aishiteru Kaoru . . . hoshi no hikari,"
"Aishiteru Kenshin," Kaoru sighed in delirious euphoria as he pulled her tight against his chest, and rocking back on his knees, brought them both to lie on the futon. Her fingers gripped the neckline of his gi as her head nestled into the crook of his neck and shoulder.
"Sleep," the word rolled off his tongue and smoothed her position against him into an utterly trusted relaxation.
Once her breath settled into a drowsy pattern, the ex-hitokiri lay awake with his arms wrapped about his beloved, eyes unblinking at the ceiling that captivated his attention. He felt as if he was spinning on the ground, the rhythm of her exhalations and inhalations catapulting him into a realm of dream-filled sleep. But if he followed every line in the ceiling he might stay grounded. His embrace tightened slightly, pressing Kaoru to every inch of his skin, reaffirming her existence in his life/dream.
She was here.
She was close.
She was his.
Kenshin scared himself to think in those terms and believe every possessive word of it with his all of his heart. Perhaps it was the ten years of ignored loneliness screaming through his subconscious, or the primal need to have physical contact with the human race, but he was prepared to kill anyone who tried to pull her away from him at this very moment of soulful peace. He could slice the bastard's throat open without giving him a chance to scream and destroy the few traces of him before the crows could fight over the best pieces of carrion in the morning. It was a feeling that he hadn't felt since his one and only night with Tomoe so many seasons ago. When he had first touched her and realized that the life he had been pretending to live was entirely fabricated, there had been a balance, an end. That end had been fleeting in the hours of night, and when he awoke next morning, his heart was ripped out through his throat.
She was gone.
His piece of reality had slipped through his white-knuckled grip. The moment when his soul had found completion in that futon, everything had fallen apart. Tomoe left and died because he had been allowed to relax and take so much pleasure in the euphoria of sleeping with reality. It was that brutal morning that the appeal of sleeping in something that gave him so much comfort was lost entirely. Tree trunks, walls, and finally foregoing sleep altogether kept him on the edge of prescient thought. He could anticipate the worse from a position with sword at hand and with reflexes that were sharpened to a point.
Kaoru murmured something low in her dreams that stirred Kenshin's conscious out of its useless musings. With a smile, he shifted her into the moonlight so that her face shone like his envisioned starlight, marveling at the simple way her hair fell over her face. It was simple, yet somehow extraordinary that her raven black hair could reflect any color that touched it.
Maybe without knowing it or maybe he had been witness to his own mind's antics, the swordsman knew that by forcing himself through the hell, heaven awaited.
Time.
There would be a time where that peace he had discovered would rise from the ashes of the mountain hut like a phoenix and wing its way through his life. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the promise of returning to that soul-filling happiness hung. Covered in cobwebs as it was, it still sparkled under the moonlight of the reality he had single-handedly molded. To protect others, to devote his life to those he loved, that was his reality.
He could feel the tears that had previously stung his senses trickle down the sides of his face. Hugging Kaoru even closer, nearly suffocating the girl in her slumber, Kenshin smiled up at the ceiling of his home. Could this be it? Was the present his time in the clouds of Kami-sama's paradise?
Time, stars, hell, the screaming dead, heaven, Kaoru, futons, chaotic images taken from his past, peaceful visions of the future, all these thoughts and more swirled down into a spiral, at last dragging Kenshin into the whirlpool called sleep.
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A/N: Well, that was fun. Angst is fun, writing fluff is very fun, and plenty of time to write over Spring Break makes for the most fun. The next chapter is gonna be so much fun to write . . . think ep 89, "To My Angel Misao" and you've got the basic themes for the next chappy. Or am I gonna attend to Yahiko and Tsubame first? I don't know, I hope I've updated this story more by the time this is posted so that question can be answered! :P (Just got done watching the Cowboy Bebop movie, Ed's rubbing off on me.)
Hope y'all liked! REVIEWS are always appreciated to let me know how I'm doin in this story. I'm having a blast regardless!
By Starhopper
Disclaimer: Don't want to write the same disclaimer that I've been using for the previous chapters . . . nor do I feel that I have to say this every time: NO!
SPOILER WARNING! For the OAVs. A slight one, but a spoiler nonetheless. (It's a spoiler for anyone who hasn't learned about Tomoe and what she *wink* 'did' for our little Kenny-chan.
Well, back to the mush. There had to be SOME introspection and character analysis in this story. I'm working with too many different characters that I have to "Or else I'll overflow". And slip in some opinions of my own in the attempt. ^_~ (Cookies for those who know who said that quote and from what series!)
TERMS: Hoshi - star, Hikari - light, Anata - dear, more intimate form for 'you'
I think everyone's getting sleepy, sans the chicken and fox who just slipped out the back door with wicked looking grins on their faces. Time for beddy-by!
Angst, fluff, more angst, more fluff, and a futon ahead!
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
- Say it With a Celebration Part 7: Celebrate the Comfort of a Futon
The stars. Too many to name, too many to know, but each had a special charm.
And the former rurouni counted himself lucky to be sitting on the porch of his permanent home, staring up into the wonders the heavens held. Every star seemed to be out tonight to brighten his dark skies. How had he earned the trust of his world to let him feel tiny and small, dimming his insignificance to the point of utter extinction? Just crush him between the thumb and forefinger of an ancient god, and his past would dissolve out of existence.
But then he would shift his gaze and let it wander over the garden and woods beyond and realize how important his life was to this world. To this world he had dimmed many stars. Not in the cycle of nature, but by his own human divination . . . and prematurely.
Shutting his eyes quickly as a tear collected at the corner of his left eye, Kenshin forced his head down to stare at the earth between his feet. So many lights suffocated, so many vengeances seeking to be wrought on this golden-eyed candlesnuffer.
No, they were lives, not lights. That was a correction that had to be made. Lights had no brother who tormented them as children. Lights had no intense passions coursing through them as they made love for the first time. Lights couldn't cry as their daughter took her first breath. Lights couldn't mourn the form of life lying in shreds at the base of shrine steps and lights couldn't read the assassin's note pinned to what used to be that husband's favorite gi.
Just as his head was sinking in his hands and the tears started to finally fall, the soft shuffle of her sandals politely stamped out the silence of a scream cut short as a blade, his blade, halved the vocal chords.
He had to be strong for her.
He had to protect her.
And he couldn't do this by crying.
Kenshin shot his head up and turning, regarded Kaoru pensively.
"Kenshin," with those lyrical syllables, she knelt down beside him. It was obvious from the look of concern marring her beautiful face that she knew this smile. And she knew it was a fake. "Daijoub - "
Her light, her marvelous light; he only wished he could bottle it and drink in this elixir of innocence that she was swimming in. Here again she was guiding him from the darkness to the wonderful warmth of a bright, vibrant star.
"Hoshi," Kenshin breathed before letting the emotions flood to the surface in an embrace that knocked her to the ground. He wanted to touch a living star and drench her in his tears. "Hikari,"
She in turn just let him hold her, humming softly
"You blind me sometimes Kaoru," he whispered as the embrace was tightened with the urgency of a man losing his heaven. It wouldn't slip out of his hands, regardless of the memories dripping from them like blood. The weight of his lithe body rolled him over her heavily-clad-in-kimono one, and an arm shot out over her head to brace himself against the floor. "When I look at you, I can never see my past," he continued, staring deep into her wide sapphire eyes, "Or watch agony draw its last breath." His lips captured hers hungrily, wanting nothing more than to completely inhale that light as dark tears curved off his chin and splattered her porcelain complexion.
When at last the ex-hitokiri somewhat begrudgingly broke the kiss, he nuzzled her nose with his, teasing her head into following every movement of the nod to proceed with the tenderness that was she entangled in. Catching the moment before she snatched it, Kenshin whispered, "Arigatou," before easing himself onto the floor, the intense strength of his embrace never waning.
They lay together face to face on the porch, his bracing arm pillowing her head, Kaoru's palms flat against his chest in every gesture of how much trust she placed in this man pouring his heart out to her. It was rare to hear him talk about his past laden with such pain that she kept her lips pressed together and let him cry over the strong blows fate had dealt to him. This was the man she loved, she would share his burden, she would be there for him. He deserved an ear to hear his problems and a body to hold on to for dear life.
Suddenly a hand sprang to life and wriggled out of her love's hold to dance along his arm, stopping as she approached a pronounced muscle, and giving a reassuring squeeze as her fingers went over them.
"So much strength," she marveled aloud, eyes locked onto the velvet softness of his eyes. "So much sadness," her other hand palmed a tear thoughtlessly forging another trail down his face. "So much."
"Aa," he returned her touch with a tentative massage at the base of her neck.
"Let me share it," Kaoru bit her lip at the thought. If he was understanding how truly devoted she was to his own pursuit of happiness, the idea wouldn't repulse him.
"Iie. You deserve happiness de gozaru na," Kenshin answered her reproachfully with a slight shake of his rust-crested head.
"Ano," Kaoru's eyes flashed in defiance, but curled deeper into his embrace regardless with a whimper, breaking their eye-contact, "Ai-aishiteru,"
"Oro?"
She smacked him in the chest half-heartedly, then unfurled herself to stare him in the eyes. "Aishiteru Kenshin," the caress of her hand on his arm stopped and was overcome by it bending around his neck and her mouth moving against his without hunger, but a soft, tentative passion.
Love. It was the brightest light of all.
No wonder she shined in all its brilliance.
As she cut off the kiss by taking unfair advantage of the dizzy-state his mind was in, Kaoru started to wiggle off the constraining embrace, but stopped midway as his left arm darted out and grasped her wrist.
He sat up, amethyst eyes pulsating with a serious intention that both scared and thrilled her at the same time.
Kaoru shook her head girlishly, "Iie, I-"
"Aishiteru Kaoru," and dropping her wrist, Kenshin traced the outline of her face with his finger; the mischievous grin of the rurouni who'd captured her heart curling his lips. "If you'll have me,"
The girl paused, the words weighted down by hope and heart sinking into her very being . . . before cuffing her boyfriend lightly over the head. "Kenshin no baka,"
Before Kenshin could inquire as to why he'd been hit and batted over the head, Kaoru shook her head and grabbed his hand. "C'mon Anata, let's watch the stars,"
"Iie," he balked at her insistence to dangle his feet off the edge of the porch again, staring up into the infinity that made him contemplate the deeper meaning to his existence. "I have all the starlight I need,"
Her eyes began to water, a fitting smile forming upon her red lips. "Kenshi- "
"Let's go to bed de gozaru," His night did not have to end because of exhaustion. He could have the brilliance of the heavens in his arms in the less-demanding atmosphere of his room.
"Hai," Kaoru cast a longing sapphire gaze towards his room down the walk, then with a sigh dutifully set those eyes in the direction of her room and shifted in that direction.
"Iie," a hand found her shoulder and turned her back to face him. Kenshin shook his head slightly, becoming aware that she meant go to HER bed. "With me, de goz-"
However, Kaoru went red at the thought. "We can't," Pressing the tips of her fingers together, she reasoned silently that no matter how much she wanted to fall asleep in those strong and scarred arms of his, it would be scandalous, sinful . . . and all the more appealing. She blushed, recalling her dreams of late, and their involvement with the red-haired rurouni.
Kenshin sighed, then it hit him with the force of Saitou's Aku-Soku-San. "Dame! Not," blushing himself silly, he thought over the million daydreams he had had of committing such an act with the Kamiya Kasshin Master. Kaoru lying beneath him, moaning his name, driving him further and further over the edge. She'd finally be his, he'd make her his, it was only right that two lovers make lo –
"Ano," and shaking his head, whipped such thoughts out of it with earnest. He could not think that way if he wanted her to literally sleep next to him and have her wake up in the morning still pure, still innocent. "Just with me," stroking her cheek with the back of his hand, he whispered pleadingly, "I want you near,"
Kaoru could feel her eyes widen in disbelief of what he was offering her. His room was private, a sanctuary, or so she conjectured between after breakfast and before her lessons in her passings in front of the modest space. It seemed so vacant with the futon always folded in the corner and the floor impeccably clean, but the shoji left ajar signaled his presence. And it was his presence that she felt in that room, as barren and unloved as it appeared to the eye at first glance . . . very much like it's owner.
Fanning herself, the nineteen year old prepared to stand when she found Kenshin already up on his feet and bending down to lend her a hand. Once pressed close to his chest, she found no reason to say no. After all, he HAD proposed the idea himself.
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Tiptoeing through her own house made Kaoru uncomfortable enough, but when her wary gaze settled on the guest room with it's shoji wide open, she just wanted to take his hand and run to his room. But she couldn't help but pause and tilt her head at the sweetness of her friend's repose. She was genuinely happy for Misao, who had finally managed to tame that wild, stand- offish man she had loved all her life. And, just like the rest of their relationships, it was a breathtaking mutual exchange of affections.
Kenshin saw them too, but was too focused on his goal at hand to stop and gaze upon the slumbering couple. However, when he felt Kaoru anchor his progress, he turned back and finding her smiling with the kindness of her lovely heart, moved to press her back into his chest and settle his chin on her right shoulder. The scene that greeted his disinterested gaze was one of Aoshi Shinomori lying flat on his back with Misao curled over his side, sleeping peaceably under his left arm. Resting on the ninja's chest were entwined right and left hands, the right thumb stroking the left's knuckles. But the smiles both wore told much more of how wonderful it felt to be in love and be loved.
With a grin, Kenshin caught Kaoru's hand and stepping away with a husky whisper of, "Sleepy yet?" spun her back to him.
The teenager yawned in reply and with one last look upon what she hoped would be herself and Kenshin in a few moments, followed his steps down the hallway, their hands linked between them.
Pushing aside the shoji, Kenshin took a breath then turned back to take both of Kaoru's hands in his. "This is what you want, right Kaoru?" he asked her with the tone hinting at his disbelief that she was really here. "Are you sure you-"
A finger over his lips caught him off-guard. "Kenshin, I love you," her features softened, yielding a dazzling smile. "I trust you."
If she trusted him, then it was time to finally use that futon.
Memories of a winter night darkened at the thought of waking up alone, his innocence lost with an absent Tomoe. It wouldn't happen again, Kaoru wouldn't leave him and he would not leave her.
Reassured, the twenty-nine year old skidded to a stop in the corner and began to lay out the futon for her – er – them, and once it was fluffed just right, turned back to kneel in front of Kaoru. "You honor me," fires of amethyst flitted up to send her oceans of blue boiling. "For letting me sleep with one of the heavens de gozaru na."
Feeling her own knees give, Kaoru sunk to the floor in front of him, palming his scarred cheek in the process. She drew his face closer to hers and pressed to his lips a kiss as soft as the down of a feather.
"You honor me," she breathed in the intimate space between them, her fingers still trailing his jaw-line, "for letting me make you so happy,"
A smile of relief flashed over his features before his hands rose from their pressed position on the floor and gripped her shoulders. "Aishiteru Kaoru . . . hoshi no hikari,"
"Aishiteru Kenshin," Kaoru sighed in delirious euphoria as he pulled her tight against his chest, and rocking back on his knees, brought them both to lie on the futon. Her fingers gripped the neckline of his gi as her head nestled into the crook of his neck and shoulder.
"Sleep," the word rolled off his tongue and smoothed her position against him into an utterly trusted relaxation.
Once her breath settled into a drowsy pattern, the ex-hitokiri lay awake with his arms wrapped about his beloved, eyes unblinking at the ceiling that captivated his attention. He felt as if he was spinning on the ground, the rhythm of her exhalations and inhalations catapulting him into a realm of dream-filled sleep. But if he followed every line in the ceiling he might stay grounded. His embrace tightened slightly, pressing Kaoru to every inch of his skin, reaffirming her existence in his life/dream.
She was here.
She was close.
She was his.
Kenshin scared himself to think in those terms and believe every possessive word of it with his all of his heart. Perhaps it was the ten years of ignored loneliness screaming through his subconscious, or the primal need to have physical contact with the human race, but he was prepared to kill anyone who tried to pull her away from him at this very moment of soulful peace. He could slice the bastard's throat open without giving him a chance to scream and destroy the few traces of him before the crows could fight over the best pieces of carrion in the morning. It was a feeling that he hadn't felt since his one and only night with Tomoe so many seasons ago. When he had first touched her and realized that the life he had been pretending to live was entirely fabricated, there had been a balance, an end. That end had been fleeting in the hours of night, and when he awoke next morning, his heart was ripped out through his throat.
She was gone.
His piece of reality had slipped through his white-knuckled grip. The moment when his soul had found completion in that futon, everything had fallen apart. Tomoe left and died because he had been allowed to relax and take so much pleasure in the euphoria of sleeping with reality. It was that brutal morning that the appeal of sleeping in something that gave him so much comfort was lost entirely. Tree trunks, walls, and finally foregoing sleep altogether kept him on the edge of prescient thought. He could anticipate the worse from a position with sword at hand and with reflexes that were sharpened to a point.
Kaoru murmured something low in her dreams that stirred Kenshin's conscious out of its useless musings. With a smile, he shifted her into the moonlight so that her face shone like his envisioned starlight, marveling at the simple way her hair fell over her face. It was simple, yet somehow extraordinary that her raven black hair could reflect any color that touched it.
Maybe without knowing it or maybe he had been witness to his own mind's antics, the swordsman knew that by forcing himself through the hell, heaven awaited.
Time.
There would be a time where that peace he had discovered would rise from the ashes of the mountain hut like a phoenix and wing its way through his life. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the promise of returning to that soul-filling happiness hung. Covered in cobwebs as it was, it still sparkled under the moonlight of the reality he had single-handedly molded. To protect others, to devote his life to those he loved, that was his reality.
He could feel the tears that had previously stung his senses trickle down the sides of his face. Hugging Kaoru even closer, nearly suffocating the girl in her slumber, Kenshin smiled up at the ceiling of his home. Could this be it? Was the present his time in the clouds of Kami-sama's paradise?
Time, stars, hell, the screaming dead, heaven, Kaoru, futons, chaotic images taken from his past, peaceful visions of the future, all these thoughts and more swirled down into a spiral, at last dragging Kenshin into the whirlpool called sleep.
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A/N: Well, that was fun. Angst is fun, writing fluff is very fun, and plenty of time to write over Spring Break makes for the most fun. The next chapter is gonna be so much fun to write . . . think ep 89, "To My Angel Misao" and you've got the basic themes for the next chappy. Or am I gonna attend to Yahiko and Tsubame first? I don't know, I hope I've updated this story more by the time this is posted so that question can be answered! :P (Just got done watching the Cowboy Bebop movie, Ed's rubbing off on me.)
Hope y'all liked! REVIEWS are always appreciated to let me know how I'm doin in this story. I'm having a blast regardless!