Love Life, or Lack Thereof

What is it with me and Slytherins?

Maybe I like the cunning and ambitious.

But then again, there are exceptions to every rule.

Perhaps it's the silent brooding type.

No, that's not it.

It's probably just because my brain is so out of order, but what do I know about my own head, right?

I can't help it. The whole green-ness of it all just appeals to me.

I've had these stupid infatuations since I was fourteen years old.

First it was that prefect a year above me. What was his name? I don't even remember any more.

Then it was Lucius Malfoy. Yes, kiddies, Malfoy. Finally my best friend talked me out of it. She's dating the git right now. Ha, some friend.

A few months after that it was...

Oh, bother.

You don't really care, do you?

So here I sit pondering my lack of love life...

And the Gryffindors stare. They stare because they know my secret...

I think Severus Snape is sexy.

I remember in fifth year, some girl in my dormitory got partnered up with him in Potions class. She burst into the dormitory in tears because Severus accused her of tampering with their potion. And when she denied it he called her a liar and a whore. I vaguely remember hearing the term "Neanderthal" during the argument.

Clearly Severus is not very accepted...because he is an arsehole...possibly the result of not being hugged enough in his childhood.

You know what amazes me?

The boys in my year all have notches on their bedposts...except maybe Pettigrew, but that's not the point.

I, too, have notches on my bedpost. But mine are not the same kind of notches. Theirs represent their "conquests," whereas mine are for my infatuations. I have two separate columns. One is the "Slytherin" column and the other is the "Everything Else" column. The "Slytherin" column has outnumbered the "Everything Else" four to zero. Doesn't that say something?

Slytherins!

They're everywhere! There's one right over about five yards away.

Wait a minute...

That oily hair looks familiar...

A/N – You know, 3:00 AM is a very productive hour... I should do this more often.