(A/N: Pushing a microphone down Alan Rickman's trousers while he's singing Christmas Carols for autism, was entirely Daniel's idea, so you can blame him for it)

Chapter 10: A Hard Man Is Good To Find

Snape had just come dancing into the first-years' first potions class, and was standing imposingly before the trembling eleven-year-olds, about to commence his speech, when a boy who was looking slightly older than the rest, came running up to him, grabbed him, and pushed what looked like a muggle microphone down his trousers.

"Heeheeheeehee!" said the boy, and ran off so fast, that Snape's well-aimed curse bounced off the thick wooden door instead of off a curly-haired head.

"COME BACK HERE, YOU!" Snape bellowed after him, trying to get the microphone out of his trousers. But it appeared to have a Sticking Charm on it, because it wouldn't budge, so he set out on the chase.

"COME HERE AND I'LL……" Snape was shouting as he ran after the boy, who was far quicker than him, owing to not having to lug 500 pounds of robes around, right before he suddenly ran into a large black shape. "AHA! I HAVE YOU NOW!" he said, grabbing hold of some robes and pushing the shape down onto the ground….. only to find Lucius Malfoy staring up at him.

"Say, Severus," Lucius said, "is that a microphone down your trousers, or are you just happy to see me?"