Don't Say it With Flowers!

By Starhopper

Disclaimer: Nope, nu-uh, nothing, natta, zippo, SHIPPOU! (Hee hee, I've got my rhyming dictionary open now )

Chapter 16: One Startling Confession
"Sanosuke,"

As she ran through the marketplace, Megumi couldn't help but fall through the cracks of memory spreading like tree branches along the glassy surface of now. With each step, she was racing for her life, running until her lungs burned for fresh oxygen, escaping from a life she didn't deserve, had never deserved.

"It's different, I'm running to him now. I wish he could see me,"

A slow group shopping through the stand's wares shifted her thoughts back to actually getting to the clinic. Dodging yet another shuffling crowd, the doctor turned the opposite corner and nearly ran into a short couple wandering along the riverside. The twist of the shoulder to sidle past them threw off her balance and would have sent her crashing into the girl's side. Would have, but she fell through air when the contact should have been made.

"Sorry!" she called out as she spun around and took off in the opposite direction of the Kamiya Dojo. There was no stopping the tears this time, they came flying off her cheeks and whistled through the air past her ear like missile shots. Closing her eyes, she bolted a full speed down the street, a sandal flying off at the quick gear-change in acceleration.

But she didn't care. All she wanted was to fall into Sanosuke's arms and wrap herself around his safe and steady form. He would surely hold her up even in this time of weakness.

'I'm almost there,' Megumi heard herself thinking before she rounded the familiar corner and sped up her exhaustive pace to bound up the stairs and through the door of the Genzai Clinic.

Tsubame didn't quite know what to do. One minute she had been walking at Yahiko-kun's side, smiling at every juicy detail about his time in Kyoto. Then the next, a grip wound so tightly around her wrist that she squeaked in protest, before she was yanked sharply to the left. Her eyes and ears had popped as the samurai lost his balance and yelled.

And then the blushing . . . oh the blushing.

She was sure she was doing exactly that as she stradled his knees and trying with any means in the world not to look him in the eye.

As he came to, he lurched up at his waist, his forehead colliding with hers. Cringing, she nodded to his questions. Forget his eyes, now his hand was clasped about her fingers.

"Are you sure you're alright?" he asked her again and this time, don't ask her why, she looked into the bashful brown eyes and swallowed her answer. "No,"

"No?"

"Iie, Yahiko-kun. My wrist hurts."

"Ah, kuso," He grabbed for the other hand she was cradling against her chest, fingers brushing over the disheveled hem of her neckline. But Yahiko was too busy inspecting her wrist to notice the fluttering of Tsubame's eyes and acknowledge the spreading of butterflies deep in his stomach. "I'm so sorry Tsubame. This wouldn't have happened if some person had been watching where they were going,"

The young samurai paused as he looked up into her eyes, then swung his head about to glance to at either side of them. He swallowed audibly as his gaze was drawn back to hers, blushing the same shade of red as the trim on her kimono.

"Eh, how long have you been . . . um,"

"Since you pulled me out of the way."

Long silence stretched like taffy between them. "Ah, aso . . ."

"Yahiko-kun, can I get up now?"

Her hands remained in his tight grip as she moved off his legs and allowed him to stand. He pulled her up with him, swallowing again when she refused to let his fingers go free, even though he'd taken care to let her have her space. She would not be pulled close to his chest this time.

The smile at seeing him blush drifted off Tsubame's face as Yahiko moved away from her, forcing his eyes to something only he could see by looking away from her. Tears that had been pounding behind her eyes for some time now became too hard to ignore. Bangs shielding her eyes, she felt three teardrops curve down the apple of her right cheek.

She wasn't sure if her companion had heard or even seen her disappointment, but as the silence between them stretched, she let go of his hand.

"Tsuba – me-chan?" His voice questioned from outside her currently hair-ridden vision. "Does your wrist hurt that much?"

She shook her head, casting the old tears into the air about her with a choked, "Iie." Looking up at him, she found that he had moved closer, the hand she'd been clinging to out and offering for her to grasp. The gesture took her by so much surprise, that she actually leapt forward to take his hand.

Before she could see the blush and relieved smile, Yahiko turned and began to march up the riverbank. "Uh, let's get going then . . . don't want busu and Kenshin to worry." As an aside, he added with a duck of his head in her direction, "Sorry again," When there was no sound of affirmation, he chanced a glance back over his shoulder.

A wide smile and her soft voice to match met his look of confusion. "You've already apologized enough, Yahiko-kun."

"Sanosuke!" Frantic, Megumi used her voice to search the back rooms where Dr. Genzai and his granddaughters lived. Finding no sign of her fiancé, she then crossed the porch, thundered down the stairs, and ran down the path to the small storage shed that had been recently remodeled as their separate residence.

She repeated his name upon swinging the door open with a bang.

He was seated at their foyer table, perfectly calm and nibbling on onigiri that, no doubt, had been prepared by Ken-san. He looked up as she stumbled through their door, panting and gasping for air.

"Megumi?" Standing immediately as she collapsed like a puppet severed from her strings, Sanosuke crossed the small space between them, coming to a kneel in front of her. "What the - "

"San – o – suke," she breathed as he gathered her to his chest and sat back against the nearest wall. Nosing her way into the crook of his neck, Megumi wrapped herself around him in the attempt to press herself into his every pore. "You're here,"

"I'm always here for you kit," that's when he felt her cheek against his neck. It was damp. "Have you been crying?" he asked her, his tone bridging between sincere concern and the bubbling anger associated with protection. If something or someone had dared to make his Megumi cry . . .

"Maybe a little," she sniffed sourly against his bare skin. It disgusted her to admit to something so shameful. "It's nothing now, I'm feeling better. Just hold me tighter," as if showing him how, her arms crossed behind his neck and tickled the sensitive spot between his shoulder blades. "And let me know that I'm safe," As soon as the words left her mouth, Megumi's face faltered.

Until then, Sano had been enjoying her embrace and whisper-soft words. Now, he unwound her arms from around his neck and set his eyes to a determinedly serious search of her own. "Who threatened you?"

"No one threatened me." She knew better than to try to wrench her wrists out of his iron-death grip.

"Then why question your safety? Was it that yakuza leader Yamoko Seguchi?"

"Who?"

"Not him then," Sanosuke threw off to the side, then turned his head back to meet Megumi straight on. "I've never seen you so upset, except for - " Cresting only the dawn of horror, the color drained from his face and his eyes became as wide as a frightened rabbit's. It was as if the barrel of a gattling gun had been pointed at his heart and he was awaiting the pull of the trigger. "But they said he was dead. Shinomori took care of the job and slaughtered the bastard the first night he was in jail,"

Seeing the man she loved in such a terror-ridden state scared Megumi more than the prospect of Kanryuu's resurrection. Feeling his grip loosen, she wriggled her wrists free from their organic cuffs and slid her hands along his arms to catch him securely at the elbows. Giving him a little shake, she said, "He lives only in my memories Sanosuke, and that's only the beginning of the problem,"

"I don't understand,"

"I know you don't, and it's all my fault. In all the time that we've been together I never told you what happened BEFORE Kanryuu and his opium syndicate. I never told you about who I was then, who I became . . . and who I was with." She stopped as his eyes widened and his mouth became a little tighter. "If you love me, you'll love all of me and my past."

"I do, but I still don't understand, why would you think it matters now? I mean, we're engaged for Kami-sama's sake. You know about my life, the women I've been with,"

"All two of them,"

Clearly growing impatient, Sano bit off his next words with malice, "What makes you think I CARE about the men who've known you the way I have? I'm not that petty, I know you're not as pure as your principles,"

Megumi paused, mouth agape . . . before soundly punching him in the arm. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and expounded the air she'd been holding in, along with her tongue. "I would think you care to know WHY your fiancée is acting up over a silly little argument and has just fallen into your lap looking for salvation, TO-RI-A-TA-MA!" each syllable was made that more unforgettable with a well-placed slap on his shoulder. "I don't do this! This isn't ME. I'm not irrational, or emotional, or weepy-eyed like this! I think karma is telling me to finally come clean with this soiled past I've been dragging about like rotten garbage, trying to live my life as someone redeemed and born again. But I can't! The present is pressing on me now, the past has almost slipped away, but I won't let it! I won't let it go by without some sort of acknowledgement, to let him know that I don't think about him and curse his name for getting me into such despicable shit that NO Takani would ever get involved with! I'm NOT letting his memory DIE with such despair and blame etched into his gravestone. Never, never, never," throwing herself against his chest, Megumi twined her fingers in any fabric or skin she could get a hold on and let herself sob.

"You can't be talking about Kanryuu," Sanosuke whispered, that same shock of horror vibrating the timbre of his voice. Carefully, he shifted Megumi to the center of his chest and wrapped his arms around her. The way she curled closer to fit the shape of his body told him to squeeze tighter, reassure that no one would come and get her, least of all that bastard who was by now rotting in hell and begging for a bath in the molten lead.

"No, I'm not," her voice was small, more scared than he'd ever heard it before. "I'm talking about his partner, Uedo Shintaki . . . the doctor I apprenticed under. Such a brilliant man, but so very ignorant of the bad-side of Tokyo."

"I know it well," Sanosuke breathed, and at once tried to forget the montage of gruesome images the memory dredged up.

The woman in his arms turned her face up to him, her eyes red and cheeks puffy. Between sniffs, she tried to get her breathing back to normal, and finally took a breath before sitting more confidently up in his embrace. "I met him on the first day I arrived in Tokyo. Imagine, I was only eighteen and homeless. I had made a pretty decent living in my journey, stopping at the farmhouses to help people with what little knowledge of medicine I had, in return for food and a dry place to sleep. But I always kept my sophisticated air that I had breathed in Aizu, and was determined to finally realize my dream of becoming a respected doctor like my father. I come walking into town, looking like I'm out to rule the world in a ragged working smock and scabby knees, and the first person I see walking down the street is Shintaki, coming back from a house-call. He stops me on the spot, asks if I had been to see a doctor lately, then offers to have a look at my lacerations. During the actual visit, I corrected him on a choice of painkillers and I guess he saw some potential. I offered to become his apprentice, if he wanted a female working as his eventual competition. He laughed and patted me on the head, saying 'I'm sure you will Takani-san,' and that was it.

"Our relationship was simple for the first few months. I assisted him in healing minor afflictions first, then moved onto surgery, and finally mixing pharmaceutical concoctions. Like all the Takani's that came before, I was quite proficient at grinding powders and administering medications that Shintaki decided to teach me how to make opium. He first explained that this was a drug with the potential to save lives." She paused to snort derisively. "And I believed him. I had no idea what was going on because by then I had lived with him and studied with him for nearly a year, and," Megumi swallowed, looked at the ground, then back up into her beloved's eyes. "and by then I was blinded by my adolescent love for him. I had never met anyone like him before, so kind, and caring, always concerned about the continuing health of his patients. And he loved me too. He doted upon his 'little flower' and was there for me when I needed someone the most. He took a chance on me, and I misinterpreted it as being fated to be with him. I was so childish, I should have seen Kanryuu standing by the doorway, taking the opium I had produced for the money that Shintaki used to buy flowers to pretty up the clinic with. And I just sat there like a dutiful wife I was soon to become, making opium and smiling sweetly as my darling doctor skirted death with a crimelord.

"Then came the night of his proposal. He was so nervous, and endearing as ever. He was shorter than me, and older by about ten years. But I didn't care. I just wanted to accept his offer and have a life already set out for me, already easy and comfortable.

"But then Beshimi broke in and stormed the way for Kanryuu. The argument ensued after Kanryuu refused to accept a month's worth of drugs and demanded that Shintaki come up with something before he slit his throat. I crouched in the corner as Shintaki argued in my defense, and with horror discovered that he had never told Kanryuu about me. I was his supplier and a valuable commodity. I could see the gears turning in that wicked brain of his before Kanryuu decided to draw his katana and cut him across the chest. He knocked over the table I had set out for him, and the food I had prepared as he fell. I rushed over to him, and looked up into Kanryuu's eyes for the first time. It was then that I realized I had given away my hiding spot, and was in clear line for Beshimi to grab me. He used some sort of narcotic to keep me unconscious and when I awoke, I was sitting in the observatory room of Edo Castle, exactly four years before you stopped me from killing myself.

"But as I told you then, that wasn't the first time I had tried, no. The first time Kanryuu touched me with those money-grubbing paws I immediately went to my room and grabbed a scalpel. I was so determined to kill myself, afraid of what Kanryuu might do next, that I nearly went through with it too. But at the second the blade cut my skin, I stopped and clotted the blood with a scrap from the curtains in my room.

"Kanryuu didn't stop touching me. He kept saying I was his property, his woman now that he had killed my first man, and that it was only proper to let him have his way. But I put up a fight each and every time, even when he did eventually rape me."

Sanosuke knew he had heard the words, heard them from the mouth he had kissed seven hundred times and more, but . . .

Megumi. HIS Megitsune had been raped. RAPED. The word was foreign to his lips, and even as he mouthed it over and over again, he couldn't believe that it had happened. It didn't sound right; it didn't make any sense. HOW, how could this happen? HOW could Megumi sit there calmly and tell him that despicable bastard had done the one thing he had feared would happen to any woman in his life? HOW?

Megumi was not sitting quietly anymore. The tears had started to fall again, and cupping a cheek, Sanosuke moved her face closer for him to kiss. He barely tasted the salt, only lapped up the sadness in her voice as she continued through a throat constricted with emotions left untold:

"It all started with a dispute over opium. He wanted more, I didn't make enough. He touched me again like he always did when I turned away from him in a huff, and this time didn't let go when I slapped him. He pushed me down on the floor, tore my kimono, and had one of the guards pin my wrists above my head. That ball-less coward, I watched his eyes as Kanryuu publicly raped me. He saw my pleading, winced as I whined – I just wanted to scream Sano. I just wanted it to all end. But I knew that's what he wanted to hear. Kanryuu wanted me to suffer and feel his dominance over a lowly female."

Sanosuke bristled and pulled back, thus ending the ministrations. He wanted to shower her in pity, but he knew she would take it as an insult. He had learned long ago that her pride would always come first. It was something he both loved and hated about her, for he both loved and hated himself for the same personality flaw. Ignoring the instinct to cuddle her close to his chest and draw her into a pitying gaze, Sanosuke merely stared hard into her eyes and waited for her response.

"But that was something I could never give him. I kept my mouth shut and let him have his fun. That same guard helped me up afterwards, and I soundly punched him in the mouth. He looked at me with a look that said, 'I deserve it' and shrugged. At that moment, I knew I never wanted to see another man ever again, much less let him get close enough to take advantage of me." Her fingers were suddenly gliding over his jaw and lips were brushing his ear. "That's why it took so long for us to become us. You, my hero, arrived a week too late for me to show any gratitude. I just hated you for being not Kanryuu or Shintaki either. You were completely different from both ends of the spectrum, and I didn't know if I could trust a man so soon after him. I'm sorry,"

"Megumi," He caught her hand and leaned out of the kisses to his neck. Looking into her frightened Bristol eyes, he licked his lips and pulled the captive fingertips to his mouth to kiss in reassurance. "I love you, I proposed to you, and nothing's gonna change in that department." He smiled at the peace that flickered over her features. "I just wish you would've told me all about this earlier. Didn't you trust me? Didn't you know I loved you too much to let you go? Even if I'm not your first love," he couldn't hide the longing from his voice. His boyish naivety had been hoping against all odds that he was. Now that he knew he wasn't, the truth did sting a little in the absence of that foolish dream. Seeing how much his voice grated over her frazzled nerves, he cleared his throat and changed course. "All I'm sayin is that I'm gonna need some time to let all this sink in. But I still want to know why you're telling me all this now."

Megumi sunk back on her knees, steadying herself with a hand on his knee. Hiding under the curtain of her hair, she made sure he couldn't see how her other hand touched her stomach briefly before moving to push the barrier behind her ears. "I suddenly realized that I needed to tell you about the woman you were marrying. I was ashamed! I don't know if you've ever met an abused woman before, but we don't go telling complete strangers about something very private and very embarrassing that happened to us. That's why, for the longest time, I had myself convinced that I was in love with Ken-san. He was safe, and sweet, the most likely to stay a gentleman. But I wasn't head over heels, the way I was every time you came walking through those doors with a sheepish grin. I got dizzy and excited, and worried that I was falling again for the wrong reasons. I've had kindness shown to me and love given, but I've also been deceived, hit, raped, and lied to."

"You telling me that you were attacked doesn't change how I feel or how I'll treat you," he barked defensively, hunching his shoulders in a manner of protection. "I don't think I know anyone else as deeply as I know you,"

"You know me, but now you really know me. That's the greatest gift I can give you after you've done so much for me." Again, she drew her fingers across her stomach, but this time in a deliberate, eye-catching gesture.

Sanosuke felt something akin to a butterfly glide low in the pit of his stomach. Lips again dry as stone, the ex-fighter-for-hirer began to run his tongue over them, but suddenly decided to shut his mouth and lean in to hear her confirm his suspicions. Memories of the past week filtered through his present vision of this woman who was glowing brighter and brighter with an unidentifiable strength by the minute. While her moods had swung wildly about, her appetite had increased. And then there were the mornings where she had sprung out of bed and sprinted out of their room, coming back looking more tired than when she had left. They were both young, and -

He really didn't want to wait any longer or cause further delay. He wanted her to say it fast before he could get the chance to hopeful or disappointed.

Drawing upon her reserves, Megumi looked him in the eyes, her own brimming with tears. "You have to know about the past, in order to accept the future," But he knew those particular words were not for his benefit. She nearly whispered a perfect copy of them to herself before facing him loud and clear. "I didn't know if . . . if there was enough trust in the world to make me fall apart like this. I still don't believe it, because Kanryuu was so," her nose wrinkled and her lips curled in disgust. "so brutal during that first time, that I didn't think it was possible, nor would I actually think I could con – but apparently it's possible. VERY possible. And I hate to ruin this traditional fairytale of love that we've got going, but it seems that it can't be helped." She shrugged her shoulders, trying to laugh, and crying with every forced chuckle. "I'm pregnant Tori-atama,"

"You don't look that happy about it," Sanosuke deflated as he let out the breath he'd been holding in anticipation.

"It's not that," she sobbed, pulling back as he tried to hold her. "It's just, I wanted to be a good wife, one that could show up Shintaki's young one, and – I let myself get pregnant,"

"Hey, I was there too ya know," he smirked, leaning forward to follow her as she moved away again. "It's not like you had the choice,"

The tears stopped abruptly. Megumi looked more assertive and sure of herself than ever before. "But I knew the risks, and I'm a Takani, not some common and careless prostitute,"

Catching her chin with his pointer, he sighed. "There's that pride again. You're no whore, you're engaged to the one man that you've been involved with for nearly two years,"

"And I'm not married to that man yet," she growled back, calling upon that banked irritation she had shown when they were arguing about his bathing habits. "How will I look with this big belly come my wedding day?" pointing to her stomach, she was just entreating him to palm it himself . . .

. . . and so he did.

Too stunned to retaliate, Megumi froze, her finger still long and gesturing to the area under her working smock. "Bu – eh, you,"

"You'll look beautiful," he breathed, catching her unawares as he kissed her mouth gently. "Besides, if we do it soon, your belly won't be that big for anyone to notice. And really, who's going to judge you? Not me, and certainly not Kenshin and Jou-chan. The itachi and Shinomori might make some sniff of disapproval, but who cares? You are happy that you're having my baby, right?"

"Sanosuke, I didn't know I wanted a family, much less a child until I fell in love with you," She smiled and placed both of her hands on either side of his face. "I'm so happy, happier than I've ever been. You are everything I didn't know I wanted, and this child is something I didn't know I needed."

"That's a yes, right?"

Megumi shook her head in disbelief and rolled her eyes. "Yes," the 's' was lost in his mouth as she pulled him close for a kiss.

"Let's get married next week," Sanosuke offered between kisses as he eased her onto her back.

"I'm almost two months pregnant,"

He paused. "..."

"Sanosuke?"

"This weekend then."

A/N: I did it. I followed cliché . . . but I've been wanting to do this for awhile now. How adorable would their children be? I mean, look at Kenji – best of both parents.

As you all can tell, this story has to be winding down, just like Despite Fate. But I'll make the most out of what's left. More Kenshin, Yahiko, and Aoshi moments with their significant others!

Please REVIEW to tell me how I did, and if I sucked, then give me some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I positively LOVE that stuff.

Peace and love,

Starhopper