The Seemingly Neverending Antics of Lucius Malfoy

by Duchess of Inkling

The fifth series of The Story That Will Not Die, and it brings you everything you want so, so much; idiocy, gratuitous slash suggestions, filth, decadence, blond hair, and, of course, absolute pleasure.

19. Chapter 19: Goody Two Nose

(A/N: Everybody should watch 'Allo 'Allo, if only for Crabtree. Or Herr Flick and his Gestapo pipm cane. Title courtesy of the brilliant Adam Ant song Goody Two Shoes, which I am hereby pipming to all of you shamelessly.)

Chapter 19: Goody Two Nose

Lucius Malfoy was strutting down a street in muggle London one morning, when a muggle policeman accosted him. "Good moaning," the policeman said to him.

"Well, a good moaning to you too," replied Lucius, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. The policeman bent over to him slightly, and went on in a low voice.

"I have good nose for you," he said. Lucius looked at him insultedly.

"I already have a good nose, thank you," he said, and strode off, huffing indignantly.