Chapter 6
Accepting the Truth
AN: I hope you all liked the last chapter, I'm sorry for the cliffhanger; I just wanted to leave you guys in suspense. Thank you to CountryButterfly0102, and Christina for reviewing, it means a lot. Also, this is going to be the last chapter until at least December 28th or the 29th, it's only because I have three projects for school that I have been putting of, because I'm too lazy to do them…I'll try to get done with my projects quickly, but I need to give them my full attention as well, because each one of them are worth a large chunk of my mark, in three different subjects. Also because this weekend is Christmas, and Christmas equals: Gifts, parties and food…mmmm food…lolz! Please don't hate me…I'll try to make this chapter as long as I can, so at least it can sustain until said date. Also I'd like to wish you all a Merry Christmas (if you celebrate), and I wish you the best in the New Year! Finally, thank you for the reviews, they mean so much to me, please keep reviewing it makes writing worthwhile!
Peyton sat there on the stairs of the club crying her eyes out. She rubbed her red eyes, trying to wipe the look of hurt on Jake's face out of her eyes, but it was like it was etched into the lids of her eyes for all eternity. Just to remind her of the pain she caused him, and not only him but Brooke as well. Peyton had never felt more disappointed in herself as she did right now. She shouldn't have let Adam kiss her, but it was as much his fault as it was hers, if not more of his than hers. She, Peyton didn't actually initiate the kiss, Adam did, and he pulled her into that horrible kiss before she could stop him. Even so she should've pulled away faster, or something, she just shouldn't have let their little unwanted chat go on so long. Guilt filled her, coursing through her like her very own blood did. The fact that she was sitting out in the cold, with no jacket finally hit her, and so she got up, dusted her pants off, and headed back into the club to get her jacket. Once she had gotten it, she bid the others goodbye, saying that she was going back to the cabin.
"Yeah, uh…you want us to come with you sweetie?" Haley asked in a worried voice. When Haley had seen Peyton walk back into the club, tears staining her face, eyes red, she felt for her. It wasn't to long ago she was in a situation much like this one, but she had worked through it, and she knew that Peyton would as well. No matter how long or what it took, Peyton would get through it.
"No, no, no, you guys stay here, have fun, I'm just…I-I'm not feeling this scene anymore, you know?" Peyton said, tears forming in her eyes again. She refused to let them fall.
"Okay, well bye," Haley said, nudging Nathan in his ribs, so that he would say something.
"Oh, right, um…yeah, we'll be back at the cabin soon, just after I get a dance with my wife…what do you say Hales? Dance with me?" Nathan said, getting down on one knee, head bowed, hand out waiting for Haley's. When she finally put her hand in his, he kissed it, got up and walked Haley towards the dance floor where Ludacris's song, Get Back, was currently playing.
With a small wave to Peyton, the two left. Peyton then turned around heading towards the exit, but instead she bumped into Adam.
"Get the hell out of my way Adam!" Peyton said loudly. "You've done enough damage for tonight…too much perhaps…" and with that Peyton brushed past him, her shoulder colliding with his, as she finished her journey to the exit. As she turned on last time to look back at the club, she saw Brooke with a sour expression set upon her face. With a final look back she left the club, and hailed a cab which she took back to the cabin.
After paying the driver, she opened the door of the cabin, feeling a blast of heat greet her, thanks to the blazing fire in the grate. It warmed her body, from the frigid cold. Feeling drawn to the fire, she changed into a pair of sweats, and put on her dog slippers, finally settling down in front of the fire, covering with a blanket. Peyton starred absent mindedly into the fire, thinking about the nights events. Who did Adam think he was, telling her that he loved her, and then he kissed her, she could just imagine how badly Brooke and Jake were hurting? She had lost two of the most important people in her life, all in one minute. It's true what they say she thought to herself, you always hurt the one you love, well in this case it's ones, she thought bitterly to herself.
How did this happen, I had it all, my best friend, a great boyfriend, and now in the blink of an eye it's all slipped away, because of one foolish person, she thought heatedly. Peyton was so lost in thought that she didn't hear when the door opened, and closed. It wasn't until after she saw Jake sit down on the couch opposite her did she acknowledge his presence.
Jake just sat there, contemplating her, what happened back at the club. In his heart of hearts, he knew that Peyton loved him; he never doubted it for a minute. But when he saw she and Adam kiss at the club, doubt and anger and pain and even hate had filled him. When she had followed him out of the club, he just couldn't stand to be around her, because when he saw her face, the face that he had fell in love with, the face that he had kissed, he saw her and Adam kissing. The scene just kept replying over and over again in his head. Jake just couldn't stop it; he wanted to, he wanted to rid himself of all emotions so he wouldn't have to feel anything. When he had walked in, he thought that she would still be at the club, but on the contrary, she was laying on the couch, wrapped in a red blanket, starring deeply into the fire, obviously lost in her thoughts. Because she hadn't so much as moved as hair to see who had entered. Jake just couldn't bear to look at her right now, it hurt too much, it showed him that maybe him coming back to Tree Hill, to Peyton, though it had been a good idea, maybe it wasn't as good as it had seemed before.
Looking straight into the crackling fire, that was oblivious to the surrounding world, Jake started, "Peyton…I'm-I-Maybe us – maybe…What the hell happened tonight Peyton, I thought you loved me, and when you love someone you don't exactly go make out with other guys now do you?" Jake stated straightforwardly.
"Do you honestly believe what you just said?" Peyton asked incredulously. "Do you truly believe that I would go make out with random fools, when I have or had you?"
"If I knew I wouldn't be asking now would I?" Jake asked scornfully. "I mean, when I saw you talking to him, it was fine, because I trusted you, but then you kissed him…and it hurt Peyton, it's killing me…I keep seeing your lips on his, every time I look at you…" Jake told her, his voice breaking.
"Okay, first things first, is that I did not kiss that disgusting excuse for a human being. He kissed me, because he had just told me that he still loved me from way back when we dated, and I told him that I didn't love him that I loved you. And that if I had loved him I would've gotten in contact in him when his dad had to relocate to another state. But he just wasn't getting it, so after he proclaimed his love for me, and I rejected him, he told me to kiss him to see if I was in fact telling the truth, that I really wasn't in love with him. Before I could move away from him, he kissed me, with that filthy mouth of his and I pushed him away as quickly as I could…but the damage was done…," Peyton told Jake, all the while starring straight into the fire, stealing glances at Jake every now and then, to get a glimpse of how he was reacting to her summary of what happened tonight at the club.
It was a lot of information to process all at once, but Jake stomached it all, so to speak. Jake, feeling slightly ashamed, that he had accused Peyton of a crime that she had been the innocent victim of. Nevertheless, it had hurt him to see her lips upon Adam's. Even though he now knew the true story of what had happened between Adam and Peyton, he couldn't help it; he had to ask her, finally not being able to hold back any longer, the question came bursting out of him.
"Did you feel anything when you kissed Adam?" Jake said, not being able to take it anymore.
Peyton didn't even need to think about the answer for this question, she knew the answer, and she herself had been thinking this very question before, during the ride back to the cabin.
"Jake, do you in all honesty believe that I could feel anything in a kiss with Adam? I mean think about it…when he kissed me, it felt so wrong, it felt as though I was kissing my grandfather, or something, that kiss had absolutely no passion in it, no fire behind it, nothing, it was a totally platonic kiss…a kiss that meant nothing to me, a kiss that is now just a reminder of the day that I lost my best friend and my boyfriend all in one day…" Peyton whispered, her voice trailing off.
Jake had finally turned to look at her when she was talking about the kiss, and when she said those last few words, his heart broke, and he ached for her. He still should've been mad or upset or something about what had happened at the club, but now that he was looking into Peyton's gorgeous, charming, orbs of blue, he knew that she loved him, and only him.
"Oh god, I feel like such an ass…because I saw you two kiss, and that was all I needed, I grabbed my coat and I left…I didn't see you push him away…and even if I did, after the kiss, my eyes were only seeing what they wanted me to see, and not what was really happening, or what I should've seen…" Jake stated.
"Well…you can't really blame yourself can you? I mean, if I had seen you kiss another girl, I would've been so mad…even if you trying to push her off, of you I wouldn't see it…because I would probably have been blinded by anger and even jealousy, which is not an emotion I express often…" Peyton said.
"Maybe so, but I jumped to all the wrong conclusions, I mean I shouldn't have dismissed you like that outside of the club…I was just worried that maybe you had chosen Adam over me…and it scared me because you're the only person that I've let in since Nikki…" Jake told Peyton miserably.
"Jake…I know how you feel, since my mom died not including Brooke you're the only person that I've ever talked to about my feelings, or anything like that…it would've scared me too Jake…losing the one of the people who really understands you, who really loves you…" Peyton finished. She quickly broke her gaze away from Jake, and starred into the fire again, tears on the verge of falling. Peyton didn't want to let Jake see her cry again, soon enough he would think of her as the girl who cried for everything, or the girl who wasn't strong enough, and she didn't want that at all.
"Peyton…I'm sorry, I just don't know-I mean when I saw you with him, kissing him, I felt as though you had betrayed me…the person who I loved with every ounce of my being, had betrayed me. Once she'd had enough of me, she'd moved on…I never thought of you as that kind of person before, but at that moment that was all that was running through my head…and I'm sorry." Jake said starring at her, knowing full well that she had tears in her eyes.
"Jake-it's okay-really" Peyton said her voice barely a whisper.
"No Peyton it's not okay! It's not, because I should've trusted you, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like that, I shouldn't have given you the cold shoulder when you came to me outside of the club trying to explain to me what had happened I can only assume. I guess I was just hurt and jealous even…and I was afraid to lose you…I can't lose you Peyton, next to Jenny, parents, and some friends your all I've got…And I couldn't bear to lose you Peyton!" Jake finished finally.
"Jake you're not going to lose me, I'm right here, I haven't gone anywhere, and I'm going anywhere anytime soon. You're all I have as well, even though I have awesome friends, and I hope I haven't permanently ruined my friendship with Brooke…my friendship with her means a great deal to me…and I've got my dad, and my mom right? Peyton said tearfully.
"Right…Peyton I'm sorry…I love you…" Jake said to her, emotions he had never felt before were flooding through him at this moment, and he didn't know what to do with them.
"I'm sorry too Jake and I love you too…" Peyton said to him, she felt it too, this particular bump in their relationship had changed a lot, and they were both feeling it. She felt different somehow, not physically but emotionally.
With that, he took her in his arms, and embraced her in a warm, comforting, and loving hug. Their bodies molded together, like a perfect match. He leaned down, and kissed the crown of her head.
The two just stood there, holding each other until Brooke came crashing through the door, Adam on her arm. It was obvious to all three of them that Brooke was drunk off, of her ass. Each of them were just as confused at the fact that she could possibly string together words, let alone walk, mind you she did stumble quite a bit.
Jake and Peyton let go of each other at the sudden sound, standing side by side, looking at Brooke, who was starring Peyton down with a very sour look set upon her face.
"Well look that it is…my FORMER best friend." Brooke said, emphasizing the word former.
"Brooke c'mon, just listen to me please! I didn't kiss Adam, he kissed me, and I pushed him away! Brooke I wouldn't do that to you again! I would never want to lose you as my best friend, but maybe I already have…" Peyton said, her voice trailing away.
"Whatever! I don't believe you anyway, I mean give me one reason why I should, and plus Adam here has already told me what happened…didn't you sweetie!" Brooke said going from a cold voice to a cherry one.
"You did, did you? Well what exactly did you tell her? I have to hear this!" Peyton said disbelief filling her voice.
"I told her that I told you that I loved you still and then you kissed me to see if you still loved me or not…"Adam said lying through his teeth.
"You son of a bitch, you and I both know that, that's not what happened!" Peyton said livid with anger. "YOU CAME ONTO ME! TELING ABOUT HOW YOU STILL LOVE ME, AND I SAID THAT I DIDN'T LOVE YOU, I NEVER DID, BUT I DO LOVE JAKE! AND THEN YOU TOLD ME TO PROVE THAT I DIDN'T LOVE YOU AND YOU KISSED ME! I PUSHED HIM AWAY BROOKE! I did I would never want to hurt you like I did before!" Peyton shouted.
"What the hell Peyton? Why'd you tell her? I was about to get some tonight! But I'm obviously not getting anymore!" Adam exclaimed throwing his hands up in the air.
"EXCUSE ME! GET SOME! YOU ARE SO LUCKY THAT I'M DRUNK, OTHERWISE I WOULD'VE KICKED YOUR ASS, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND ONE MORE THING! IS WHAT SHE SAID TRUE? ALL THAT CRAP YOU FED ME BEFORE, TRYING TO MAKE ME THINK THAT SHE WAS THE BAD GUY WAS ONLY TO IN MY PANTS!" Before he had a chance to answer her, she had opened the door, and was motioning for him to get out. "GET THE HELL OUT! I CAN NOT BELIEVE THAT I EVER HAD EVEN THE TINIEST FEELING FOR YOU! WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE, GET THE STEPPIN'! GO!
When he finally walked through the door, before he could even look back Brooke slammed the door in his face.
"Brooke are you alright?" Peyton asked concern filling her voice, as she watched her friend sink down to the floor, leaning against the door, crying.
Both Jake and Peyton walked forward, and knelt down on the floor next to Brooke. Peyton couldn't stand seeing Brooke like this; she embraced her in a comforting hug, telling her that whatever it was that was bothering her, she always had her, and that it was going to be okay. Jake just watched Peyton, hug Brooke and comfort her, all he could think to do was put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
"Peyton I'm sorry! I…I was j-ju-just...hurt…I didn't k-k-know what had h-h-hap-happened. I just I wish I could take it all back…when I saw you two kiss, it brought back the memories of what happened…and all I could think was that you'd done it again, everything I wanted you seemed to want too, I just…I'm sorry Peyton…I still love you, you're my best friend after all how could I not right?" Brooke said into Peyton's shoulder, the tears finally ceasing after awhile.
"Brooke, its okay…I'm just glad that were okay…" Peyton told her friend. "Come on, let's make some hot coco, and talk girl talk, and Jake can talk with us too, because he needs to know," Peyton said looking at him, "You have a daughter after all, and soon enough she'll be thinking about this stuff too…" With that both Brooke and Peyton burst out laughing, Jake on the other hand had a very worried look on his face.
After the coco was made and drunk, all the while Brooke and Peyton talked about cute celebrities, guys, people they disliked, people that annoyed them, movies, music, and anything else that popped into mind. All the while Jake just sat there listening intently, thinking to himself, that when his daughter was all about maybe 10 years old, this is what she'd be thinking about, and that seriously bothered him.
It was until Brooke started talking about his relationship with Peyton did he snap out of thought.
"So did you and lover boy have get down an dirty yet?" Brooke asked wiggling her eye brows, laughing as she did so.
"BROOKE! What's up with you and Lucas, you both asked me that question, mind you, you used different words. And the answer is no…we haven't…I dunno whenever Jake's ready, and I'm ready we will, but until then I don't want to rush it you know?" Peyton said all the while looking at Jake, who had his eyes fixed upon her.
"Yeah, I guess I understand, but how are you going to know when your ready?" Brooke asked logically.
"I don't know, I guess your heart just tells you that you are…" Peyton said to Brooke, still staring at Jake.
"I see…so uh…what's wrong with Lucas; he seemed pretty bummed about something when I left the club with Adam…" Brooke asked Peyton curiously.
"I don't know, I guess he just wasn't having a good time…" Peyton lied quickly; finally breaking eye contact with Jake. She just didn't think that tonight would be the right time to tell Brooke that Lucas was probably jealous that she was leaving with Adam, because he still loved her.
"Oh, well I'm beat, I'm off to bed…night all!" Brooke said suddenly, leaving both Jake and Peyton thinking about Brooke's earlier question concerning them.
"I agree with you Peyton, I think we should wait until our hearts tell us that it's the right time…" Jake said abruptly.
"And what if my hearts telling me that it is time?" Peyton stated simply. But that sentence was not as simple as it seemed.
"What if my heart agreed, that I'm ready, that I love you, and I want to show you that in the most amazing way ever…" Jake whispered to Peyton.
"Then maybe we should…" Peyton started saying, but she never got around to finishing that sentence because in came Haley, Nathan and Lucas who looked rather peeved. They could all only guess about what.
"Nathan all this partying has taken its toll on me, so what do you say we hit the hay?" Haley asked Nathan; the truth was that she had to tell Nathan something. Something big, something that would have a great effect on both of their lives, but it was something that Nathan had to know.
The two walked up the stairs, and headed off to their room, where once the door was closed, Haley started sobbing hysterically.
"Haley, babe what's wrong?" Nathan asked concerned.
"Nathan, I've got…to tell you something…and I hope…that after I tell you…you'll stay with me…" Haley said to Nathan, the hysterical sobbing coming to an end.
"Haley c'mon tell you, whatever it is, you know I'll be there for you…" Nathan urged Haley, but he meant what he said.
Haley had to tell him, she had only found out the day Lucas had come to their apartment hurt, and she had been afraid to tell him. But she couldn't be afraid anymore, it was now or never.
"I'm pregnant…" she blurted out. It felt like a huge weight off, of her shoulders now that she had told him. Haley waited anxiously, for Nathan's response, she saw as he wrinkled his forehead.
"Nathan, you don't have to stay…" Haley told him, not being able to take the silence anymore.
"Haley I…" he wasn't be able to finish his sentence when a loud crash was heard downstairs. The pair ran down to see what had caused the disturbance.
Brooke came scuttling out of her and Lucas's room as well, coming to see what all the ruckus was about.
Everyone's jaw dropped when they saw Lucas and Felix battling out, while Jake tried to break up the fight, only to give up after realizing that these two weren't going to stop.
"FELIX!" Brooke screamed, "What the hell are you doing here?"
With the mention of his name, both boys stopped their fighting to look around to find the person who had screamed. They both spotted her, Lucas promptly got off, of Felix, had had a bleeding lip, and black eye. Lucas on the other hand was also sporting a bleeding lip and a cut on his forehead.
"Brooke, I…can we talk?" Felix asked hopefully.
"NO!" Brooke yelled. "Why are you even here? How'd you know I was here? You know what I don't even want to know, all I want is for you to go!" Brooke said outraged.
"Brooke, there's a storm out there, and I asked your mom where you were, and she told me…if you want me to go I will, but my death will rest on your conscience not mine." Felix told her, knowing that she was bound to crack.
"Fine, you can stay here for the night, but it's only because I don't want to be the reason of your death, because I'm better than that…you sleep on the couch, you touch nothing, you sleep and then you leave as soon as the storm dies down! Got it?" Brooke asked impatiently. Without waiting for an answer, she stalked back into the room she shared with Lucas, who made his way up the staircase and walked into the room as well.
"Lucas, are you okay?" Brooke asked.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine don't worry." Lucas reassured her.
Jake and Peyton went up to their room, both thinking about what had just happened, and also about what they were talking about before they were interrupted. Maybe they both though, we should just take it all one day at a time see where everything leads too. They both wanted more with each other, but now that they had stopped talking about the previous topic of conversation, neither Jake nor Peyton wanted to bring it up again. It'll come up again, they thought, until then they'd just be…
Nathan and Haley also returned to their room, and though neither wanted to talk about Haley's pregnancy they had too, and they both knew it. Just maybe not tonight, Nathan needed some time to think.
Back in Brooke and Lucas's room, the two slept on their sides of the bed. Maybe this was a sign, Lucas lay there thinking, a sign that him and Brooke shouldn't be together. Maybe it was, or maybe it wasn't, who knew. All they knew is that if something was meant to be, it would happen when it was supposed too. And even that they weren't sure of.
Okay that's it until either the 28 or the 29th of December. I need to start my work, anyways please review and tell me your thoughts on this chapter. It took me quite a few hours to type it up, because different ideas kept coming to me, and I was forced to choose just a few. However I hope the finished product of my hard work will make you happy. Once again thanks for the support it means a lot to me.
No spoilers sorry, I'm leaving you in suspense. I'm so mean.