Tenchi Muyo Fanfiction:
These characters don't belong to me.
Comments? Thearchive1@hotmail.com
If you are new to this story, please start with chapter one named accordingly like the title. Other than that enjoy!
" The Sea Of Change "
Author's Notes: I offered Ryoko's point of view and in some small parts other character's as well.
My place in the world:
Why should it bring me grief?
Mountain cherry
Blossom in my sight,
Were it ever so...
Murasaki Shikibu
GSIS I: 104
Chapter 11: Taking Flight
* * *
From the moment I stepped through the elevator's sliding doors, I felt everything around me slow down to a snail's pace. Felt my blood had turned to lead as it strained to pump the liquid all through my veins. Making every step I took feel as if I was struggling upstream against a heavy current of water.
I tried to focus on all the things Serla had taught me back at the okiya.
"Keep your back straight. Don't swing your arms or you'll look like a dancing jellyfish." My eyes looked down, seeking a glimpse of how my arms were behaving themselves. I breathed deeply, thankful my hands were well hidden within the endless folds of my sleeves.
"And for heaven's sake, remember to keep your eyes in check, you give yourself away every time with those marvelous eyes of yours Cat."
I plastered a smile on my face, as I briefly heard the funny looking mustache man introduce us. I felt my eyes flicker, and in a panic looked down, seeing Ichima's shadow shift to my right, knowing he was there, waiting.
I felt all the blood rush to my face, and fought the urge to bite my lip, knowing any little thing I did, would give me away. I had to think of something quick, something that would freeze my features, calm my nerves, and give me a will of steel.
It really wasn't that hard to think of a situation where my emotions had been tested. All my life under Kagato's horrendous wing, had been nothing short of a nightmare. Much like the fish's futile efforts of evading the Cat's paw as it frantically swims around and around in it's fishbowl.
The time had come though, and as I looked up I instinctively held my breath. Good thing I did, as it kept me from gasping at the marvelous sight of him. He looked exactly as I last saw him in Haruna's world.
The first thing that came to my mind was to smile, and put all my fluttering thoughts together to finish that simple task. Waiting any moment for my head to start spinning and my heart to leap out of my chest. I even had a horrific vision of him cradling my bleeding heart as I knelt on the floor clutching the empty hole in my chest.
His hair was long, down his shoulders, and the distinctive angularities of a man had taken dominance in his features. His broad shoulders and tone build impressed me, yet I had seen it before with Haruna. Looking into his face, I recognized a whisper of something new, a distinctive aura about him that had not been there before.
His eyes no longer held gentleness, they were full of … fear.
I willed myself to look away, and address the man who introduced himself as Takumi.
* Takumi? Isn't that Kukune's Takumi? *
I searched his features, feeling sympathy at the lost gaze in his eyes. A smile creeped it's way into the corner's of my mouth, making them edge their way upwards. My smile flourished completely at his pure sincerity and thanks. My mind was in too much chaos to remember exactly all he blurted out to me in nervousness, yet I recognized the words 'thank you' were used quite often.
"Don't thank me Takumi. Thank Lady Mihoshi," I smiled while tilting my head in Mihoshi's direction to my right.
"She's is the one who stirred my heart hard enough to make me want to help this incredible woman of yours."
I bowed my head, displaying the respect I felt at the love he held for Kukune in his heart.
"Thank you Geisha Catara."
My eyes raked the room, travelling swiftly from Takumi to Kiyone, Tenchi, Sasami, the Doctor and intern standing next to him, and finally to Ayeka.
* She looks as skinny and pail as she did in my dream. *
* * *
Ryoko's eyes raked the room, not displaying a single emotion in her golden orbs.
Her eyes held such indifference it made Sasami's blood run cold.
She had witnessed Ryoko's iron will in past times, but never directed at her or any of the family before.
"Hello Geisha." Sasami boldly stepped out from Tenchi's comforting hand and looked up at Ryoko with a shy smile.
Ryoko looked down to find Sasami looking up at her with a strained expression on her face.
Ryoko breathed slowly, not knowing exactly how to act with the younger princess.
She finally grinned back and bowed her head while moving to stand next to the doctor. As she passed by Tenchi, she accidentally brushed up against him, making both their bodies tense from the fleeting caress.
She looked down quickly, regaining her composure before talking to the Doctor.
"Where is it that I have to sign?" She asked while revealing her hands and arms, making the giant folds of her sleeves roll like waves over the ocean.
"It's an honor Geisha." The Doctor nervously said before handing her the pen, and holding the clipboard firm in his hands so she could write clearly.
She smiled to the intern gaping at her and with a smooth, flawless movement of her hand and wrist, she signed her name next to Takumi's.
"Will you be operating on her Doctor?"
"Ye.. Yes I will Geisha." The doctor stuttered.
Her other hand, still hidden by the sleeve, appeared almost magically, giving the doctor a swift caress on the hand holding the clipboard, before the other dangled the pen in front of him, waiting for him to take it back.
His breathing became coarse at her touch, and he almost lost sense of where he was if it hadn't been for Ayeka's cough behind him.
"You better get to it then." Came the crown princess' reply.
He took the pen, aiming to touch Ryoko's hand a little longer. Ryoko shook her head ever so slightly and let the pen drop in his hands before stepping back.
"Yes. Yes. Here I go." He mumbled out the words before he quickly headed to the operating room, followed by the intern. Both glancing several times behind them, making sure that Ryoko was really there and not a hallucination. Ryoko used to such responses to her presence waved back and smiled until they had gone through the swinging doors at the end of the hall.
Ayeka had no idea what was going on or what game Ryoko was playing with them, but she wasn't about to play dumb. As Ryoko waved to the Doctor, she stepped up and encircled her wrist with her fingers.
Ryoko turned instantly towards Ayeka, shrinking back from her touch as if Ayeka were venom.
"Hello."
She had stepped back a considerable distance and massaged her wrist with her other hand slowly, too slowly to ease the pain. Ayeka, still owner of her Jurain powers, held for the first time more strength than the pirate.
Ayeka opened her mouth to say something a few times, but Ryoko's eyes stopped her.
Even though Ryoko's demeanor projected nothing but grace and goodwill, her eyes held nothing but distrust for the princess.
"Where have you been?" It wasn't Ayeka that asked but Tenchi.
Ryoko's features revealed nothing but the most superficial kindness as she turned to face Tenchi. With the grace she used the last moments before a kill, she made her way to him. Her pace was slow and steady, meant to drive her opponent mad in expectancy. And that's exactly what was happening to Tenchi. As Ryoko acted more and more controlled and kind, Tenchi acquired all her old characteristics, and judging from personal experience, Ryoko knew it wasn't long before he would explode with pent up emotion.
* All those times my insides twisted in anger, and all I had to do to get under Tenchi's skin was control my urges. Serla was right. *
She breathed in deep and closed her eyes momentarily as she tried to bury her anger. Turning to Tenchi with disdain she smiled again and looked at him.
"Ha! I did that too. No she's not her but she sure looks it huh Tenchi? Who would have thought." Mihoshi observing the conversation was taking a lethal turn, stepped in to give Ayeka and Tenchi time to cool down.
"You know Geisha Catara Madam?" The man with the funny mustache asked interested.
"Oh no. I was saying how she resembles a friend we once knew." Mihoshi explained with a tiny touch of embarrassment.
"It's uncanny really." Ayeka added while moving to stand next to Tenchi who kept glaring.
* * *
There they were, the magnificent couple looking down at me. If this would have happened to me in the past, frankly put, I would have been devastated. Back in Okayama, Tenchi was the universe to me, he cradled my very soul in his hands, yet he mistreated it so badly…
I can honestly say those three years with him, they were more damaging to me than the millennia spent with Kagato. At least he never pretended to be something he wasn't. He was a killer, pure and simple and everybody knew it. Tenchi on the other hand … he fooled me with his kindness. Much like a hunch back whale, such a gentle creature, gives it's confidence to a shamoo. Letting the much smaller animal, tag along as they both glide happily over the ocean. Breaking the waves with their dives. But as soon as the hunch back is distracted the shamoo, the killer whale is a more appropriate name, calls his pod, attacking the gentle creature unmercifully until it's left bleeding and dying. Filling the ocean red with betrayal.
That killer is Tenchi, and his little friend is my so called faithful friend the princess.
My body again felt weighed down, as if a heavy boulder was being maliciously placed over my shoulders. To see if I could survive this encounter, knowing full well all the odds were against me.
Well, I was no longer that naïve hunch back, and I made up my mind that no matter how big the boulder over my shoulders felt, it would simply full of hot air.
* * *
Ryoko looked from one to the other, finally having them in the flesh. Her chest burned with frustration at having them placed in front of her, and she unable to do anything but stand there looking pretty. She hated it. She hated them.
"I couldn't have possible known you. Why I don't have such common attributes."
Ryoko regretted saying it even before the last syllable rolled of her tongue, yet it was said. A slap with a satin glove but a slap none the less.
Ayeka gasped at the extreme change in Ryoko. She clutched Tenchi's arm and huddled closer, not wanting to fly of the handle in front of these people and reveal who they really were.
Ryoko feeling ashamed at her words, instantly praised them as she followed Ayeka's hand.
* I thought you were my friend. I should have known better than to trust royals. You are all the same. A pack of back stabbing liars. *
Ryoko's lips were pressed together so tightly that the heart shape her lips were suppose to represent was turning into an odd shaped mass of red. Fei took that signal to interfere before Ryoko's delicate restrain snapped. Fei envisioned her friends emotion as a thin, quivering spider web string. So strong and unbreakable, yet with a tiny swat of the hand, and it would all crumble.
"What a tangled web we weave, when we first practice to deceive." Fei couldn't help muttering under her breath as she stared at her friend, and the undeniable confrontation about to take place.
Before Ryoko could utter a single syllable, a wave of noise made it's way from the end of the hall. Followed by incessant flashing of light and short, frantic clicks.
Before anybody knew what was happening, Ryoko saw a mass of people, pushing and pulling each other. Some even using their teeth as an elbow hit someone's jaw, or a knee flew up to end up into someone's stomach.
All trying to make their way to Ryoko and Fei. Before the first reporter was able to shove a microphone in front of Ryoko's face, Ichima with the help of an orderly, literally dragged the two stunned geisha into an empty hospital room. The same one used to try to cool down Takumi's enraged temper awhile before.
* * *
From the moment I heard the waves of chaos of the reporters, my eyes I felt, became as big as rice cakes. To me, that mass of people, represented all those armies, trying in vain to confront the powerful Oni Ryoko.
I've always had trouble with large crowds, especially ones who force you into a corner.
By Tsunami, if ever I was a cat stuck in a cage full of rabid, hungry dogs that was me then.
My senses made a sudden come back as Takumi slammed the hospital room shut.
"What are we going to do?" Fei asked as she scrunched her face up, and clasped her hands over her chest.
"We need to find a way out of here fast." Ichima answered as he instantaneously addressed the orderly.
The orderly's jaw dropped open, as he realized Ichima was waiting for a solution from him. And giving a Sumo champion a wrong answer and suffer the results was not something he wished to do.
"I… I there is no way out."
The poor man's shoulders tensed and he hid his face with his arms, expecting Ichima to slam him against the wall.
I looked around the room swiftly, noticing the Masaki clan had followed our lead.
"What is the problem?" Mihoshi asked, much to the my relief as the same question ran circles in my mind.
"The problem is that a geisha cannot be so … public. Her career will be tainted-".
I didn't bother to listen to the rest of Ichima's words. I had heard a similar speech from Serla before I made my introduction as a geisha in Kyoto. Of course men adored a sought after geisha, I knew that before Serla explained it to me. What was news to my ears was that there was a fine line dividing a popular geisha and a vulgar geisha. By no means was a geisha to 'show of', that is show of when she wasn't entertaining or performing a dance or something of the sort.
Serla made an entire afternoon discussion of this as I practiced preparing matcha for my future tea ceremonies. Mixing carefully the powder and hot water with the tiny bamboo whisk.
By the end of the second hour, my mind ached with her incessant chatter. I don't really remembered all she said to me after that second hour to be quite frank, but I do fleetingly remember a story of a popular Gion geisha who suffered the consequences of giving in to the unrelenting press.
Mitsui Ichiguro thinking herself a very wise geisha, wise far beyond her seventeen years, had landed the lead role in the winter Noh theater recital in the Kyoto National theater. Instead of acting humble and appreciatively to her big sister and past teachers, she blushed at all the attention the press were
doting on her, and relented to give an interview as she practiced her role. With one condition of course… that there be no cameras rolling while inside the theater. A geisha considered her rehearsals sacred, and were extremely superstitious in anything and everything that happened within the theater's walls. Besides, no one had ever witnessed the graceful creatures stumble rather awkwardly as they learned their steps. Ryoko stifled a laugh as she pictured a bunch of squawking chickens trying to act like swans. When the interview aired, it made the national news and the whole of Japan witnessed the clumsy geisha hop around the stage. It even made some news in China and several countries in Europe.
Some of the prize winning shots were of poorly dressed geisha with loose robs and kimono that revealed in long glimpses intimate parts of their bodies. Safe to say that particular performance was full of eager men wanting to get "entertained" in the vulgar sense of the word.
Mitsui was banished and it took quite a while before the incident was forgotten.
I pressed my hand against the door as I carefully turned the knob, trying to make the least possible noise as I looked out into the hospital corridor. That funny looking man was in the middle of the throng of reporters. All I could make out was the top of his head and his hands waving wildly in the air, very much animated as he spoke only Tsunami knows what.
I bit my lip as I widened the crack, trying to peer further down the hall.
An idea hit me so suddenly, I understood perfectly what having an epiphany meant.
His navy suit, his hair slicked back, his grin as he greeted Fei and I… He had planned this all along!
"He did this on purpose the little rat!" I muttered under my breath as I closed the door with less noise than when I opened it. Looking back at the group, I noticed everyone was too wrapped up in Ichima's story to pay much attention to me.
* * *
"… my job is to keep Catara and Fei safe and out of trouble and so far tonight Cat has run off, and now this." Ichima said with an overemphatic sigh as he finished his speech.
Ryoko's eyes widened at the details he had revealed to the Masaki clan. Everyone looked from Ichima to Ryoko, Sasami grinning at realizing this Catara was more like the Ryoko she remembered.
"Well the only thing left for us is to sneak out." Fei said as she sat down on the bed next to Ayeka.
"I'll help anyway possible." Takumi said confidently, followed by the nods of the rest of the party, including Tenchi and Ayeka.
"Then I suggest we move now." The intern said as he opened the door a crack, trying to see how many press had actually shown up. He could make out quite a large crowd that made the wide expanse of hallway seem like a tiny tunnel.
"No." Ryoko said as she shut the door.
"What do you mean no? If you stay you'll be finished." Ichima said exasperated.
Ryoko laid her hand on his shoulder, calming him down.
"That man, whatever his name is, he knew they were coming. Most likely he called them before we even stepped out of the car."
Ryoko paused to catch her breath and Tenchi recognized she was planning something. Ryoko's eyes always shined and a breathtaking grin over took her lips, much like Catara had on now.
He waited anxiously for her plan to present itself, missing those days when she lived back in Okayama with him and everyday was an adventure.
"The press already knows we are here. If we sneak out that rat will win and whatever he says to the press about us be the truth. I won't let that rat win. If he wants me to cower he has another thing coming." Ryoko narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest in annoyance.
"Fine you stay and talk. You will no longer be considered a serious geisha Catara. You don't even have a danna yet to solidify your position." Ichima said trying to knock some sense into Ryoko before she ruined her career.
At her danna being mentioned, Ayeka looked at Ryoko with a whole new light. All she had witnessed, the lavish kimono, feminine manners, to Ayeka were only an act to make her suffer for her betrayal.
But now, being a geisha Ryoko would have had to have slept with someone. Ryoko would not give her body to a man if it was just an act. Her old friend was gone, her best friend was really gone.
Tenchi had another reaction all together. He fumed at the idea of Ryoko giving herself to another man. For once he wished with every fiber of his body that Ryoko go out there, talk to the press, and her career be over. Not being touched by another man that wasn't him ever again, and he meant never, ever again.
Ryoko guided Ichima to the inner right corner of the hospital room, silencing his protests with a violent stare.
"What exactly is so wrong with being a public figure?" Ryoko rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest as she spit out her question.
"What do you mean what's exactly wrong'?" Ichima flared as he mimicked her voice.
"Everything is wrong. Being a geisha is a custom that has been created by centuries of geisha. If you go out there tonight and do this, your Tokyo visit is ruined. Nobody will call on you again. You would have wasted everybody's time, Serla's time." Ichima finished with a sigh.
Ryoko looked at him and frowned. She bit her lips and cringed at her open wound she had accidentally made earlier in the night.
She touched it lightly with her fingertip, judging to see how bad the wound really was, not accustomed to having artificial wounds of any kind.
She looked up to Ichima's tired stare and offered a sigh of her own as she shrugged and tilted her head.
"I understand that a geisha is suppose to be someone who is untouchable, a goddess of some sort. The more rare and less accessible you are, the more men you will attract," Ryoko paused to see Ichima nod in agreement.
"But ultimately it is a popularity contest. And above all a geisha is an entertainer right?"
Ichima was caught off guard at her question, but nodded quickly.
"Well then what's wrong with making a public appearance and letting the viewers get to know me a little? Wouldn't that make me more popular? Especially since I am here trying to save someone's life! And even if I didn't ask for it, it's a golden opportunity. I don't see any fall in this Ichima. I just don't. What's so wrong about trying to help someone?" Ryoko asked sincerely.
"Nothing is wrong with having a kind heart Cat. But the rules for a geisha are many and arduous indeed."
"Well then I will just have to break these arduous rules." Ryoko said in a tone meaning 'conversation finished'.
"What are you going to do Catara?" Ichima caught her arm just as Ryoko was turning away.
He recognized the defiant look in her eyes and shuttered as he imagined the type of ideas running through her mind.
It was incredibly really, how completely she could convince someone she was shy and calm. Looking at the woman before him now, she could stand up to the emperor of Japan with more courage than the bravest samurai.
"I will not be bullied or dared by that rat! And if I go down, by hell I'm dragging him down with me!"
* * *
It was a gamble on my part. A gamble where the stakes were all my work at building a life of my own.
And if I lost … I couldn't even entertain the thought. Thinking like that would bring me down for sure. Always think like the victor, and you will win. I looked at Ichima's face, and hid my fears from him. He needed to see me confident so he could conjure up courage in himself as well. Who knew a sumo wrestler was such a worrier?
I looked towards Fei, and my confident streak came to a halt. I could not jeopardize her career as well as mine. It was my gamble not hers, yet I knew she would not let me go at it alone.
Yet, I could not let her take the fall if I was wrong. Enough for one of us to take the risk, not both.
Fei made her way to me, her frown being replaced by a worried furrow of eyes.
"What's the plan Cat?"
"The plan?"
"What are we going to do?"
"Well … You are going to sneak down to the car as I divert that mob."
Fei looked at me with surprise and shook her head vigorously. Her hairstyle finally beginning to escape it's beautiful mold, and in strands cascade down to her shoulders. Like a waterfall would look like in the black of night.
"No Cat. I'm going with you."
"Listen," I tried to sound as soothing as possible, "You are my responsibility Fei. Keep in mind you just premiered tonight, no matter if this will harm me or not, it will for sure harm you."
I started convincing her with a lie, but ended with the truth. Even though Fei was no longer the apprentice geisha age of eighteen or younger, she had been allowed to entertain under my tutelage. If she exposed herself so early in the game, her name would be tinted and the teahouses would close their doors for her. Fei knew this too, for her determined brow lost it's edge and her eyes quickly filled up with pity tears.
"Why are you making that face darling? Everything will be alright. We won't let that little rat bite us. Now lets get this over with so we can go rest."
I must have said this with as much confidence on the outside as I lacked on the inside for Fei nodded and her tears disappeared as if by magic.
"Give me a few minutes to get myself together." I told Fei but loud enough for everyone else to hear.
Out of the corner of my eye Ichima nodded and the intern opened the door, waiting to sneak Fei down to wait in the car. The Masaki clan also went out hurriedly, but I couldn't say what thoughts were running through their heads.
I was looking at the wall, and only relaxed when I heard the door close behind me.
* * *
Ryoko bit her lip, ignoring the sharp, stinging pain her tongue and teeth produced. She was too nervous to care. She stood there as she looked in the small hospital mirror hanging of the wall. Perfecting her appearance as much as she could.
She looked at her face, trying to see what Tenchi had seen as she had stepped out of the elevator.
The girl in front of her wasn't a girl at all but a woman. A very beautiful, virile woman. One who wasn't afraid of anyone or anything. She felt in awe of her own reflection, not believing that she was really that woman staring back at her.
* I look … like I am happy." Ryoko muttered under her breath as her fingers traced the outlines of her face and eyes.
* But why shouldn't I? I am happy. Happiness does not only involve the love of a man, but the love of family. Ryo-ohki, Fei, Miki, Serla, Basho … Plus I am finally doing something I'm good at, and that I actually enjoy.*
For the second time that night, Ryoko experienced an epiphany. Always before she had felt happy, but deep down inside wasn't sure if what she felt was true happiness or simply her mind convincing itself it was. Looking at her face in the mirror, there wasn't a trace of doubt left.
"Now I just have to make sure I fight for my happiness." Ryoko told her image.
Her lip quivered slightly, displaying her nervousness. Ryoko forced herself to look down, readjusting her obi with clumsy fingers. There was a knock at the door just as Ryoko extended her arm for the knob and almost bumped head first into Tenchi.
* * *
Whenever you feel pressured the body automatically tenses up. At the sight of Tenchi millimeters from my face, my body felt the strain of my emotions ad in response froze on the spot, and I stumbled with deadly aim into his arms.
As a geisha of course this would be a golden opportunity to blush and giggle and mumble flirting words to enchant him.
Hoping that you would have made a mark in this man's mind so he would inquire about you later.
Now here I was, prepping myself to charm the pants of the press, and what do I do but fall head first into Tenchi's arms. What else could I do than blush, my cheeks redder than my lips, and giggle? Clinging unto his shoulders almost desperately. For a shadow of an instant I marveled at how strong Tenchi really was. Feeling his body like this, so close, I almost lost my bearing as my fingers felt his muscles flex at the unexpected weight thrown upon him.
But this all happened within a matter of seconds, yet in my mind a whole lifetime could have come and past.
"Excuse me," Was all my mind thought to say as my gaze fell to the floor, knowing full well my eyes right now would tell him volumes of my life if he cared to look into them.
"Ryoko."
No one has ever said my name like Tenchi does. I really can't give a detailed explanation of what makes it so unique or why my insides twist in knots. All I could say is that I probably
have 'Too much tea in my personality", as Basho often tells me when I get over emotional.
I peaked at him over the top rim of my eyes, trying to decide how to go about him. Should I yell and cry, telling him exactly how much seeing him kissing with Ayeka hurt me? Or rather tell him that both of them treating me like a fool, and going behind my back pained me even more? That's what really hurt, because I know what it is like to have happiness on the edge of your grasp, yet feeling it slip away. If Tenchi loved Ayeka they should have told me, and not gone behind my back. I don't forgive betrayals. Once you break a promise, breaking another doesn't sound that bad, and before you know it, you're a full blown liar.
"You must have me confused, my name is Sokimobu Catara."
My eyes locked into his and I patiently waited for his reaction. I heard him sigh, his lips parting slightly as his chest moved with the exhale of air.
"Why?"
I knew what he was asking me, yet I didn't know exactly what answer I cared to give him. There were so many reasons why I left. I couldn't list them all down for him, nor did I want to. My sorrows were no longer his concern, my life was no longer his for the asking.
I felt like a bird who had somehow found a way out of it's cage. At first bewildered at the vast expanse of possibility, yet quickly getting accustomed to it's new found freedom both physically and most importantly mentally. But now, being back in the cage, and seeing the door close with a bigger lock than the one before, I panicked and rushed past him, almost knocking him over. I envisioned the hospital door as the door cage, and I would not get trapped again.
I almost yelped as I felt his fingers grasp my arm roughly and spin me around to face him. His features remained calm, yet his voice was strained and he repeated himself.
"Why?"
My mouth made the move to speak, but no sound came out. I had forgotten to breathe and had to catch my breath before answering.
"I wasn't happy."
"What is that suppose to mean?"
Tenchi was taller than me now, even with my zori wooden shoes, he still looked down at me, yet at eye level I was looking at his nose and cheekbones.
"This is no place to discuss such things. I-"
"Are you trying to get back at me or is this act really for real?"
Just as he finished his sentence I felt a very distinct ball of anger rise up from the depths of my stomach, doubling in strength as it sped upwards. I swallowed, willing it back down. I would not loose my temper here, with my career at stake. Tenchi would not get the better of me this time.
"Really Lord Tenchi, you say such funny things. How else would you like me to act? Maybe blow things up or make a fool of myself for you? Is that what you refer to as me being real?"
I intended to let him answer, but my hot headed mouth ran away from me and I kept going.
"Or maybe Lord Tenchi is mad because I did not deem his permission to live my own life? Yes that must be it. But Lord Tenchi is forgetting something very important in all of this, I do not, nor have I ever belonged to your person."
"Stop speaking like that Ryoko!" Tenchi gripped my shoulders with his hands, his fingers trembling over my skin. I would be lying to myself if I said my heart didn't skip a beat at his loss of control, but my excitement was not entirely the same it had been in the past. My heart fluttered at his touch, yet it vibrated at my being able to control him like any other man. After all what had made me think Tenchi was any different than any other man in Japan? My mind regained it's senses as my eyes began to see him in an entirely new light.
"You left without saying a word to anybody! Do you know how worried we have all been, how I've been? I deserve an explanation Ryoko, because no matter how much you change, you will always be Ryoko, you can't run away from yourself."
"Who says I'm running? Lord Tenchi- "
"Stop calling me that!"
"Lord Tenchi", I sweetened the word the best I could, "never knew me."
At this simple statement he released me, pulling back in astonishment. There was something in his eyes that I couldn't read, but it mixed between understanding and regret. Surprisingly I remained as cool and calm as if I were practicing a scene from one of the Kabuki novels Fei loves to read.
"And all those times we shared … mean nothing to you?"
"Don't change my words Lord Tenchi." He flinched at the name. "I am grateful, and I do remember everything about my years in Okayama. I remember you pushing me away, telling me you hated me, hitting me … Shall I go on?"
Tenchi … I can't describe the look he had as I nonchalantly kept on talking, but his eyes never left mine and he swallowed quite noisily. He shook his head slightly at my question.
"What about the rest of the family? They missed you."
"I miss some of them Lord Tenchi. But they will have to understand as my friends that I needed space and time alone, time that I would not have received if they were to have been forewarned."
"I'm not your friend?"
"Lord Tenchi …" My tongue slid across my lips, aching to get the words out to rid myself of his presence once and for all, "once I valued you my best friend. But after all that has passed … I am grateful for the times you have saved me, for letting me stay in your home… but I …"
This was not going the way I had meant it too. All my babbling was getting me no where and I was getting lost in his eyes again. I would start with the end, knowing full well he already knew the beginning and the middle.
"Trust means everything to me, it's the one thing I never really had with anyone. Lord Tenchi held my trust for a long time, whether he knew it or not, but it slowly faded away as your person hurt me time and time again, until none was left. I am sorry, but I do not trust you any longer."
With that I turned around and walked into the hall, quickly being engulfed by the mass of reporters as Ichima fought his way to my side. From the corner of my eye though, I saw him leave the room, yet his face was obstructed from my view as a slender microphone was shoved into my face with a million questions being shouted at me.
I was no longer nervous and worried about my actions on camera. By leaving Tenchi behind me, I felt I was a bottle formerly full of water, but as I turned around and walked away, I was slowly drained of emotions. So much in fact that I felt just as relaxed as if I had just woken up from a long, deep slumber.
"What brings you to Yamito hospital the same night of the National Museum's gala Geisha Catara?"
"Is Matobi here with you?"
"What about the rumors that he has become your danna?"
"Are they true?"
I humbly clasped my hands together and bowed in greeting. Waiting for the onslaught of question to dwindle so I may answer but a few.
"I am quite surprised to see you here tonight. Especially when my visit tonight had been unexpected even to me!"
I was now surrounded by laughter and I gifted them with my warmest smile, not wanting to come of as a flirt on TV and truly ruin my career as Ichima warned me.
"I will only say one thing before I go," the uproar of protest were enormous but as I tilted my head and smiled again, they quieted down considerably.
"I came here tonight to help a woman who has been waiting for a bone marrow transplant and would have died had she not received one tonight. Like her, there are thousands of men, women, and children all over Japan who will not get even one chance to inquire about a transplant. By inviting you here tonight, Iwao Ogiwara has unselfishly committed himself to doing everything in his power to change this and open this hospital's doors to all afflicted with this deadly disease."
I spotted Iwao's enraged expression from the corner of my eye as he observed me against the corridor's wall to my right.
I have not seen a man so overcome with rage while trying to hide it all behind a mask of humble surprise. His face was strained in the corners and I could see tiny lines stretch from his eyes and forehead and travel all the way into his receding hair line. If he would have been bald, I have the distinct impression those wrinkles would be seen going all around the back of his head and meet up on the other side.
Of course I couldn't help but grin. Now that little rat would be forced to
at least help humans who are sick like Kukune for awhile, as long as the press is interested to report how his help is progressing. And I will do all I can to keep them interested for as long as possible, so Tsunami help me.
The flashes of light almost blinded me and left tiny flashes of color dancing in my eyes as Iwao made his way to pose with me. This was exactly what I was trying to avoid, and thankfully Ichima pushed his way and whisked me away. Actually now that I remember, I think he actually lifted me of the ground a few inches and before I knew it I was being hurried down a solitary corridor filled with rows of cruel, fluorescent lights and down four flights of stairs into a well lit parking lot. You can imagine with all that I had on, the obi alone is several pounds heavy, I was out of breath and flushed with a brilliant red staining my cheeks and nose as the cold air assaulted me.
"Ichima you have impeccable timing my friend." I giggled and hugged him tightly, feeling giddy as a child on Christmas morning.
"You sneak! I didn't even see that one coming." Ichima accused me and laughed as he lifted me of the ground once again and spinned me around.
"I have to remember to always be on your good side my lady."
It was my turn to laugh and as I crackled the wind with my giggles it seemed my happiness was infectious. Ichima laughed along with me and pretty soon I heard the laughter triple and quadruple as more crackles traveled their way to my ears from behind me.
Fei had rolled the car window down and was smiling from ear to ear as she strained her ears to here our conversation. Judging from her jubilant expression, she had overheard quite a bit.
"Hurry up and tell me everything! I'm cold!" Fei shouted over to us, shivering exaggeratedly to make her point.
"How long will my visit take Ichima-san?"
"To Tokyo?"
I nodded as we began to walk to the car.
"I will say a couple of months, that is if tonight's little indiscretion goes unnoticed. Why?"
"I can't wait to go home. I miss my little Kitty Kat." I sighed.
And as I finish writing me thoughts down, I can't help but wonder what he must be doing this minute. A thousand images appear and shift as a mist over the forest, yet all the visions assault my heart mercilessly. This feelings I sincerely hope will fade into nothingness soon enough. I fueled my transformation in imagining him green with envy and regret at knowing he could have had me and let me go. But now, I don't feel that way anymore. Perhaps what Fei said is true, I have matured, yet I think me admitting this proves how much I haven't matured at all. In spite of it all, I am glad this meeting has occurred and is now over with. Now I can look forward at my future, and leave him and Okayama behind.
My mind wanders to Kukune and Takumi. From what I observed, he is very devoted to her, and I hope them the best. I am tempted to inquire about her health … Perhaps in a few days, give my heart time to settle down and regain its bearing.
And so here I am, writing into a journal given to me by Serla, in an attempt to better my script and my language. Though I must say that personally I abhor diaries, thinking them useless and deadly to one's inner secrets. Why write intimacies down, when the mind will remember for you? Besides a curious eye won't be able to open your mind and shift it's pages like this diary, at least not here on earth, but I decided that part of my existence will remain of these pages for good.