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Chapter 2: Getting it Together

"Have you gone mad?!" Merry said, massaging his temples. "Wait, you already ARE insane, except now you're just a threat to society…"

Pippin just sat, absorbed in thought (whoa) tapping his head incessantly with his pen. Merry looked at his cousin, and as usual, had absolutely no idea what was going on inside that head of his… and NOT as usual, wanted to know what was.

"Geez, Pip, are you going to say anything? I mean, you've already got me sucked into this whole 'leader of a nation' thing, so you might as well tell me your plan!" Merry got no response except for the sound of pen meeting head, over and over.

"Well, this is going to get annoying pretty darn soon," sighed Merry. After waiting about 45 minutes, he found himself being lulled into a light sleep. His lullaby? The tapping of pen…ah, so relaxing.

"I'VE GOT IT MERRY!!!!" Merry woke with a jolt. Finally, Pip had made some progress! "Gandalf can be campaign manager! I mean, he got a Queer Eye makeover and everything! And…and…we can make our first appearance on Legolas' new talk show, 'The Late Late Late Show!', this…will…be…PERFECT!!" Pippin let out a girlish giggle which earned him a hit upside the head from his cousin. "::cough:: Uh, sorry…"

"Whatever, at least now we have some sort of plan. But now we need to speak with Gandalf and Legolas about this," Merry said with his "I'm-determined-to-make-something-out-of-this" voice.

"OH-MY-COPERNICUS!!!! I would absolutely LOVE to be your campaign manager! But, wait just one teensy second! This calls for my business shoes…complete with matching belt, watch out ladies!! Here comes Gandalf!!!"

"Well, I suppose that went well," said Pippin checking something off on his clipboard.

"I will be forever traumatized by this experience…"Merry shook his head and began to bang it against the wall.

::knock::knock::knock::KNOCK::

"I'm COMING!!" Legolas yelled from behind his front door. Merry and Pippin waited. Finally Legolas appeared looking over their heads. "Hello? Oh, I guess they left. Oh well." He closed the door.

"LEGOLAS!!!! OPEN UP YOU PRISSY ELF-BOY!" Legolas reopened the door, a scowl forming on his face. "Down here you twit."

"Oh, it's you guys…what do you want now? I'm out of low-carb biscuits, Merry."

"Low-carb biscuits?! Sinful, Merry, just sinful…"

"Um, did you two want something or not, I have stuff to do," said Legolas, growing impatient.

"Actually, yes," said Merry. "We were wondering if we could make an appearance on your talk show."

"Oh really? Why's that? You know, breaking the Shire's longest burp record is NOT a good reason."

"Hey! We broke that record 12 years ago!" Pippin corrected, "We want to be on the show, because I'm running for president of the United States!"

"Is there no sanity left in this poor world?" Legolas said quietly in a sarcastic tone.

" 'fraid not, laddie."