I have to appologize, I meant to update sooner, but we went camping and that took a lot of my time (imagine the packing...argggg). Anyway, I didn't get a chance to put this chapter up before we left. Although, hopefully I'll get the next couple up more quickly and this one will be finished...hopefully

Chapter 12: Expect the Unexpected—Tomoyo

"I'm sorry Sakura, but I'm not going to make it to your party tonight."

"But Tomoyo," Sakura whined. "It's at your house, how can you not come?"

"It'll be fine without me, all the servants know the rules and I trust you to handle things."

"But-but—" Her voice trailed off for a moment. "Did something happen?"

'Did something happen?' Oh yes, too much to ever tell. "Umm, no, I just double booked tonight and I can't get out of this thing." Tears ran down my cheeks and I slammed to phone down before breaking into sobs.

If I told anyone, the pain would only multiply. Besides if I could just forget it all, erase everything, life could be normal again. And the first thing to do to achieve that goal was to lock everything back up and remember that other people depended on me.

It took nearly an hour for all the tears to drain away but at least I had one step out of the way. My hands still shook while applying make-up and dressing for the Caged Bird, one step at a time, just one step.

Today's events unsettled me in things I thought secure, but not others. For so long I was sure of my own emotions, but it only took one day and one person to send them into chaos. On the other hand, it was no longer easy to put all of those feelings aside. Instead I wanted to yell and scream. How could I choose between what felt right and what everyone expected?

Alone in my dressing room, I was faced with the reality of my life. It sucked. Period, I didn't enjoy my life with everyone telling me how to life it, but I couldn't give it up either. Could I? Emotions and disguises from the day tumbled around the room, mocking me as I put on one more.

"Miss Tomoyo, you're on in five!"

"Thanks Kikki!" I shouted through the door, having finally shed all the false things about me. "I'll be out in a few!"

Just a few final touches and my hair would be perfect.

"Tomoyo."

I whipped my head around, the curls going wild. "Eriol, why are you here?"

"We have to talk," He said softly. "About Kaho."

Ah yes, her. Knowledge settled over my body, but somehow I didn't resent it. "It's okay Eriol."

"Tomoyo, I-I don't have a choice. I have to choose her."

"It's okay. I understand."

"Wait Tomoyo, it's complicated and I want to explain it to you." I glared at him, but he continued to block the door. "Please just give me a minute to tell you the whole story!" He begged.

"What are saying Eriol? What do you mean? I already gave my consent. What more do you need?"

"I have to choose Kaho; I have to choose her because she's pregnant. Fate has brought us together again, so it seems she's the one for me." He insisted.

"Eriol, you should go, now." His words had yet to make an impact on me. If only I could hold on to that feeling.

"Tomoyo, I'm not finished. The other night—"

"No Eriol, it doesn't matter anymore!" Anything but that night!

"But—"

"It was just a dream, Eriol, just a dream."

Eriol stared for a moment not seeing; he gave a curt nod and left, all without truly seeing my pain. But it was best that way; he didn't need another complication and I could deal with pain after all. Besides, Kaho was the best thing for him and I understood that. He really loved her.

Kikki popped her head in the room. "Come on Tomoyo, you're up next!"

Time to express my sorrow, before hiding it away again.

Several hours later I made my way back to my house, everything like a dream, unreal and hazy with a pinch or horror and sadness mixed in. The scenery passed by as plastic and fake as a scene for a play. Most of my life flowed that way, except for the last few weeks.

Eriol was right. Except for singing at the Caged Bird, I didn't live. Despite my big words, I couldn't go back to that pathetic nonexistence, not anymore. Just a dream? Who was I kidding?

"Tomoyo? Tomoyo, what's this?" Mother ambushed me at the door.

"What?" I caught a glimpse of the paper in her hand. "Is that an acceptance letter?"

"Yes! To a university in America! I thought we agreed it would be best if you remained here, in Japan and that you wouldn't apply anywhere else!"

"At the time I applied, Mother, I only wanted to see if I could get in." I told her while taking off my jacket.

"And now?"

"Now? I don't know Mother. I might decide to attend and I might not. I have some time to make up my mind and now isn't the time to do it anyway." And I scouted around her. "Good night Mama, I love you."

First time in years I had said anything like that to her.

The next morning everything looked better, not great of course, but good. The world had not suddenly decided to end, Syaoran still grumbled over Eriol's rather annoying habits, and Sakura still smiled. It's the little things in life that make every day good, but now I wanted little things to happen to me. And I could make that happen.

"You're certainly happy today." Sakura smiled.

There would be no fooling her. "Something happened yesterday." I returned the smile. "I'll be right back." Nature called and I walked towards the bathroom.

"Wait! Wait, Tomoyo!" Syaoran chased after me. "You do know that Kaho is teaching here now, don't you."

"Yes I do."

"And that she wants Eriol back?" He prodded.

"She has him." I said simply.

"What!"

"Kaho has Eriol. It's not like he was ever mine."

"But—but Tomoyo!" he grabbed my arm. "I saw the way he looked at you and how you smiled at him! That was I smile I'd never seen you make before!"

I stared at him. Okay, so it was true. Eriol brought out sides of me no one ever saw before and I wanted it. I wanted him for his ability to make me laugh and cry at the same time, for how he could make me feel so comfortable even if I was in a den of lions. With Eriol I had freedom. Could lots of little things make up for that one big thing?

"Syaoran?"

"Yes?"

"I really have to go to the bathroom."

"Oh!" He released me and I resisted the urge to run.

Well, he certainly threw a big hairy spider into my day. And to make things all that much better, somebody else occupied the bathroom so I couldn't even scream and rant.

"Oh good, Tomoyo, you wouldn't happen to have any personal Stuff with you?" Kaho asked me.

But wasn't she pregnant? "What?"

"Umm," She looked embarrassed. "It's that time of the month and I didn't bring anything with me today."

"Oh! Umm, yea, sure." I handed over a few pads and Kaho ran into the nearest stall.

"Thank you Tomoyo, you're a lifesaver!"

"No problem." A pregnant woman doesn't get her period; Kaho lied! I had to tell Eriol.

Ha-ha! Now you can't kill me! Ha-ha!

(Eriol in the background: Oh no, they won't kill you! Their just after my blood now! Thanks Allychik6, thanks a lot.)