Disclaimer still stands.

A/N: Ok, so its chapter 15. Wow I can't believe we're on chapter 15 already. How does everyone like it so far? It is coming along I must admit. Thank you for all the reviews and support, especially the ones who have been reviewing from the beginning and sticking with the story although I know it can be utter crap at times. And thanks for all the new reviewers, especially Converses Rolled Down (her story rocks, check it out sometime) so I thank you. I love you all and here is chapter 15.

It was the night before school started back up after the holidays. Marissa, Ryan, Summer, and Seth were lounging around in the pool house not wanting to think about the upcoming days. There would be planning to do, parties to go to, and pretending that their lives were perfect when in reality, it was pretty messed up. New Years had really put things into a new perspective for all of them. Ryan knew now that he had to watch out when he was alone with Lindsay, not quite sure anymore how she would act. Seth though likewise with Alex, although he dared not do anything for fear Summer would leave. Marissa was uncertain about what was happening with Ryan. She still loved him more than anything but was afraid that Lindsay would make him forget that he loved her. She had to keep an eye on him the upcoming days. Summer, although feeling a bit better that Seth had told Alex off, still was doubtful. She loved Seth and he knew it, she, just as Marissa, was hoping that Alex wouldn't make him forget it.

(ok, little intro on the situation; now, let chapter 15 begin)

"Should we head out to the pier or just hang out here for a bit?" Seth began.

"I dunno hon. What do you think Coop, Chino?"

"Maybe we should just stay here, spend time together, and hope that the hell hole we call school will go away."

"Why such bold use of words Coop?" Marissa rolled her eyes. She hated thinking about it.

"Because once we go back, I have to become perfect Marissa Cooper again. I have to plan pointless dances and events and I…" she broke off. Her three friends stared at her wondering if she would break down and cry. Ryan stood up and was debating whether to embrace her or leave her to cry quietly. Her quiet un-harming tears soon turned to sobs and she turned and relaxed her head against Ryan's strong body. She let her weak and frail body fall and let his hold it up. She needed him to be her rock, her strong one. He needed to understand that she needed him now more than ever."

"Marissa…" Ryan was at a loss for words. "Marissa, what's wrong?" he hated seeing her cry. She looked up at him, her eyes red and deathly. There was no sign of life in her blue eyes, they looked miserable and swollen. Seth and Summer sat staring at their friend, not knowing what to do but knowing that Ryan was the only hope to help her. They didn't know what was wrong and they still wanted to help. "Marissa, tell me, tell me now. What's going on? You're scaring the hell out of me. Talk to me Marissa… please."

"Ryan, I just need you to hold me ok?"

"Ok." The rest of the night the friends sat in silence. They didn't know what to do or what to say. Marissa still hadn't said what was going on but they needed to give her time. Finally she spoke after calming down.

"I've…I mean…I can't do this anymore."

"Do what?"

"I can't pretend… I can't pretend anymore." Her eyes started to water again

"Pretend what?"

"I can't pretend I have this perfect life. It sucks. I hate it. I'm so screwed up Ryan. More than you'd ever know and you really don't deserve me."

"Marissa, what are you talking about?"

"At school, with my mom, I don't know, just everything. Everyone thinks I have this perfect life, they don't know what goes on. No one knows." She had said too much.

"Knows what?"

"Nothing, its nothing. I just don't want to go back. I want to get away from this place. I don't want to act like Miss Perfect anymore. This break has been great because I didn't have to worry about anything. I could be myself and now I have to put my mask back on."

"Oh honey…" Summer began. "I know how you feel. But if there is one thing that Cohen has taught me is always be yourself no matter who will laugh at you."

"I know. I just want to go away. I want to leave."

"I know honey, I know. Just take deep breaths. It'll be ok. Soon, it'll be summer and everything is going to be fine. We'll go shopping tomorrow after school ok? Shopping always makes you feel better."

"Ok." But she still hadn't told them the whole truth and wouldn't until she had to.

By midnight she was still in Ryan's arms, not wanting to let go. She knew she needed him but was scared he'd leave after he found out what she was doing. She was afraid to tell him as well as Summer and Seth. They loved her and she knew they'd help but she didn't want to be put in the hospital again. or go to a physiatrist. "I'll be alright. I promise."

"Ya sure Coop?"

"Yea Marissa, you freaked us out."

'That's exactly why I don't want to tell you.' she thought. "I'm fine I promise. Stop worrying. I'm just stressed out."

"Just know that I love you ok?"

"I love you too Ryan." she smiled. It was his love now that she needed more than ever.

"Coop should we get going?"

'I'd rather stay here than go' she thought. "Ok, let's go Sum." They left and Seth and Ryan sat not knowing what to do.

"So that was interesting." Seth began.

"I really don't get what's going on with her. I'm worried and scared and I don't know what to do."

"I know. That was freaky. She suddenly broke down. Like someone told her that Chanel died and wouldn't make anymore clothes."

"Seth…"

"I know, this is serious. I'm sorry."

"I just want her to talk to me. She needs to talk to me. I mean, I can tell something is wrong. I can tell she's not talking about something. I just hope she isn't doing anything stupid."

So that's chapter 15. Some drama happening. I hope everyone liked it. sorry its so short, I wanted to do a quick update. Hope you liked it. please review and be kind.