Disclaimer still stands.
Walking to class, Marissa felt a bit safer, yet at the same time a bit more afraid. She had told someone the secret she had been keeping for the past few months and even though it was Ryan who she told, it still startled her a bit to say the words out loud and to actually explain why. She didn't think that her life would be spinning out of control, yet that's exactly what it was doing. She made her way to her next class and carefully slipped in, hoping she wouldn't be noticed.
"Miss Cooper, glad you could grace us with you presence."
"Sorry Mr. Bradley, I had to take care of some stuff."
"Well next time, it better be all taken care of, I don't want to see you late anymore."
"Right… won't happen again."
"Well I should hope so. Now that Miss Cooper has finally joined us I'll start assigning partners for the geography project. Jamie, Preston…Summer, Seth…Zack, Landon…Marissa, Lindsay…" As the teacher continued naming the partners Marissa realized she was paired with Lindsay. She was also surprised to find Lindsay in the class since she figured that she would be in the AP class. Marissa casually glanced over to her partner, hoping this was a mistake. But sure enough as the teacher finished pairing, everyone had to meet their partners and Marissa noticed Lindsay awkwardly making her way towards her.
"So since we have to be paired like this," Lindsay began, "I think its best if I just do the whole assignment by myself."
"Fine with me. But if you're not wanting me to assist you because you think I'm some valley girl dimwit, well then you're pretty wrong."
"No, I just don't want anything to interfere with your precious shopping time." Marissa rolled her eyes.
"Fine, you're just making it harder on yourself."
"Believe me, I can take it. I just hope you won't be as stupid as Ryan was to tell the teacher that I'm doing it alone."
"Did you just call Ryan stupid?"
"I—"
"Because he's a million times smarter than you'll ever be." Lindsay just sat staring at Marissa. "What, surprised by my "boldness" or something? Or did you forget New Years?"
"No, I wish I could though." Lindsay rolled her eyes. "Listen, this is pointless to talk about, so I'm just going to start researching. Don't you have some make up to fix or some magazine to look at? I wouldn't want to spoil all your pointless knowledge that's just sitting in your brain and taking up brain cells by actually replacing it with something intellectual and worth while." Marissa smirked back at her.
"You must think that you're so funny… well ha-ha. I'm not laughing."
"Whatever," Lindsay shot back and then quickly buried herself in the geography book, pretending to look for information.
The rest of the class was spent with Lindsay and Marissa glaring at each other while Lindsay was pretending to read. Finally the bell rang and Marissa silently thanked it. Since she had basically missed all her morning classes by being outside with Ryan, the next session was lunch. Marissa made her way to the lounge area to buy some coffee. She had secretly stashed some Vodka in her purse to spike it up a bit. Just as she was about to pour a bit in, a hand stopped her.
"Coop, ya gotta leave this stuff alone. Pour it all in and then I'm putting in the trash and actually buying you a good tasting mocha chino."
'Damn,' Marissa thought, 'I almost got away with it.' Summer made her way back and handed her best friend a coffee cup.
"Now drink that, it's actually good." Marissa rolled her eyes.
"Since when have you become my mother?"
"Since you come home and get wasted." Marissa stared at Summer a bit. "Oh you know I'm right."
"I know…" Marissa quietly whispered. Just then Ryan and Seth joined them, sort of interrupting Marissa's thoughts of guilt but they quickly returned when she saw Ryan's face. It was filled with worry.
"Hey hon," Summer greeted Seth. "Come get some coffee with me k?"
"But I just got some… and me and Ryan were talking about a meeting time for the comic—"
"Now Cohen!" Summer dragged him away from Ryan and Marissa.
"Hey…" Ryan began.
"Hi," Marissa responded quietly. She leaned in and kissed him pretty hard and then turned it into something more passionate. Ryan pulled away.
"Whoa… hold on. Not here ok?"
"Right… sorry."
"It's ok, how's your day been so far?" Ryan asked concerned.
"Pretty crappy," Marissa answered bluntly. Then sensing that he wanted an explanation she continued. "I get into geography and surprise! We're getting assigned partners. And just guess who I got paired with?" Ryan didn't want to answer although he knew what was coming. "Lindsay! He pairs me with Lindsay!" Marissa rolled her eyes.
"I'm sorry. She gave you the whole "I'm doing this by myself" speech didn't she?"
"Yea she did. And she hoped that I wouldn't be as stupid as you to tell the teacher that she was doing it alone."
"Well even if you do, she'll still end up doing it alone; it just gives her more work."
"Ya know she's pretty insulting when she wants to be."
"I know. She just hates rich kids."
"Are you defending her?"
"No."
"Are you sure? Because it sounds like you are."
"No, I'm not. I'm just stating it as a fact. But she probably doesn't like you in particular because you're with me."
"Whatever."
"Marissa, don't be like that."
"Like what? Mad? Frustrated? Why shouldn't I? My life sucks."
"Calm down ok…you're vulnerable right now."
"Ryan, don't. Don't tell me what I am or what I'm not right now. I' m pretty pissed off."
"Why? Why are you this mad now? Do you regret telling me?"
"To tell you the truth, I do."
"Why?"
"Because you're treating me like some suicide freakaziod who might kill herself at any moment and I don't need that right now… not from you."
"I'm just worried."
"You and everyone else."
"So you don't want me to worry?"
"Not this much."
"Marissa, I love you, I can't not worry, not when you're harming yourself and it could turn worse."
"Oh yea, what do you know? I'm sick of this." She turned away from him and walked away.
"Marissa, wait!" He grabbed her arm.
"Don't touch me," she replied coldly. Then she stormed off leaving him hurt and confused. She made her way to the bathroom. Lifting up her sleeve she examined her past scars. Each told a story. She remembered the first one and touched it. It was almost healed and gone. She decided to make a fresh one at that spot. Pulling out her blade she examined the sharpness. Then placing it on her skin she felt the coolness of it before making the cut. Letting the blood surface she relaxed a bit. Then taking some toilet paper she wiped it away and pulled her sleeve back down. Then thinking of what had just happened pained her. She hated fighting with Ryan. She knew that he just wanted to help and she felt guilty for snapping at him like that. She seemed to be doing that a lot these days. Just then the girl's bathroom door creaked open, starling her a bit. She recognized Summer's strappy shoes.
"Coop? Coop I know you're in there."
"Go away Summer."
"I saw what happened with Chino, totally out of line for him to be all controlling."
"No, no… he wasn't… don't blame him Sum. It's my fault."
"Coop, what are you doing anyway?"
"Nothing, just wanted to get away."
"Well the bell rang… as I'm sure you don't care right now but just felt like telling you. I'll meet you in Creative Writing if you feel like coming." Summer left the bathroom. Sensing that she was alone again, Marissa slowly put the knife away and unlatched the stall. She walked to the sink and fixed her hair a bit. Then feeling satisfied that she hadn't looked like she was crying, she went to join Summer in the class. She walked in a few minutes late and took her seat next to Summer. The teacher announced that they were doing free write. This meant Marissa could write about what ever she wanted. Quickly she grabbed a pen and some paper and started scribbling down her thoughts. Summer was staring at her quickness and sudden burst of energy. Satisfied with her friend being more into things than usual, especially after what she just went through, she picked up her own pen and started writing as well.
Well that's the end of that chapter. Getting more brutal. Does everyone like this new spin on things or is it totally crappy and I should stop right away? Please tell me your thoughts on this. Especially the description. Did you like it? Was it too graphic? Did you hate it and I shouldn't write it anymore? Please give me feed back!!! I NEED TO KNOW!!!!! K so please review and be kind.