Hey, I'm back. I'm sooooooooo sorry for waiting so long to update, I've
been busy with finals. I also regret to inform you that it might be a
while more before another update, since computer access is limited at home,
where I'll be for the holidays. I promise I'll be writing, though.
Well, read, and please please please review.
Don't own it, never will.
**************************************************************************** **
Ch. 2-Back to Normal . . . Well, Almost
Being that the next day was a Saturday, she was thankfully able to sleep in. For once, she did not have the nightmares that had been terrorizing and shaming her, and, while still being tired, she felt better than she had in a long time. Knowing that she was not alone comforted Hermione to no end.
She snorted as she turned on the shower. *If someone had told me two months ago that I would be comforted by my Potions Professor while being pregnant with an unknown man's baby, they would have been in St. Mungo's faster than they could say Quidditch* she thought.
She had always respected the Severus, despite his cruelty to her and her friends. She had grown to admire him after her fifth year. She had watched him become more gaunt and scathing over the past year or so, but she knew it was a direct result of his role as a spy for the Order and the torture he received from Voldemort and his Death Eaters.
Death Eaters. Her hand came to rest on her still flat abdomen and a pensive look settled on her face. Had a Death Eater done this to her? Or had it been someone else? Who?
She shook her head sharply, trying to dispel her gloomy thoughts. It did not matter who, or why. It had happened, and she knew that she would love the baby despite how this had come about. She already did.
She absently dried herself off with a towel, and spelled her hair halfway dry. She had found that doing that and then letting it dry the rest of the way naturally took a lot of the bushiness out of her hair, leaving a cascade of bouncy curls behind. The rest of her grooming was interrupted by hard knocking at the door.
"Oi!! Hermione!" Ron called. "Come on, it's nearly noon!"
She opened the door still sans makeup, but dressed. "Hermione, have you been crying?" Harry enquired upon seeing her puffy eyes and red nose.
"Yes, but I'm fine now." She smiled at him and gestured them inside.
"Good," Ron said. "Let's go eat, lunch should be being served in a few minutes."
"Oh, Ron," Hermione laughed, voice full of exasperation. She picked up a bottle of foundation and sat down at her dresser, carefully applying it. "All you ever think of is food. I swear, if you were fighting Voldemort and lunch came around, you'd ask him for a time out to go eat."
She hear a squeak behind her. "You said . . . You Know Who's name, Hermione," Ron sputtered.
"You've never done that before," Harry said, meeting her eyes in the mirror where she was putting on her makeup without magic.
"So?" she asked, but was inwardly railing at herself for slipping up. Of course the guys would notice. They weren't supposed to know that she was any different yet. It was just that she had made a deal with herself after Severus had left last night to stop being as afraid as she had been. She refused to let fear rule her life any longer. She would go through with it too. "I decided it's not worth the effort to say the long un-name. Besides, Harry and Dumbledore are right. Fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself."
"Good for you, Hermione," Harry told her.
"Whatever, Harry. Now I have to be around two people that say that name. I'm going to go crazy!" Ron complained.
"Get over it, Ron." Hermione led the way out the door and to the Great Hall. They took their customary seats at the Gryffindor table. Ron immediately started to dig in, with Harry not far behind him. She watched them for a moment and felt her stomach turn over, partly at the sight of Ron shoveling the food into his mouth and partly the smell of aforementioned food. She managed to gasp a quick, "Back in a moment," and bolted to the nearest girls' restroom.
"What's up with her?" Harry asked.
"Who knows?" Ron replied around a mouthful of French fries.
Hermione stared at her pasty gray-white reflection in the mirror of the bathroom. So a waking nightmare was to replace her night terrors? Her morning sickness-she had been wishing ever since she found out about that she was pregnant that she would be one of the lucky few to avoid it.
The Fates must be laughing at her right now; no sooner deal with one problem then another popped up. *Damn them.*
She walked back to the table and clamped her lips together resolutely. Apparently, this wasn't going to get better any time soon. She slid onto the end of the bench next to Harry and avoided the questions in the duo's eyes.
When she felt more in control of her stomach she braved nibbling on a piece of garlic bread. She was halfway through it when a shadow fell across her plate. She looked up and saw Severus. "Professor?" she acknowledged.
Ron looked up and choked on whatever combination of food that was in his mouth; the sickening glimpse she had of it looked like it might be French fries and half-masticated burger, but she couldn't be sure. Harry reached over the table and slapped him on the back.
"Miss Granger," Severus sneered. "I dare say in your excitement last night you left this on my desk." He dropped something onto the table. "I hope it is quite clear, too, that without the Headmaster's . . . input this never would have come about. Mr. Malfoy would have been a more suitable choice, but what the Headmaster says, goes."
Hermione felt wounded for a moment that he would speak so after last night, and insinuate that Dumbledore had forced him to make his appointment. She looked into his eyes, though, and realized that they were playing a dangerous game. No one could suspect Severus of being disloyal and being nice to Potter's Mudblood friend was definitely suspicious. So she simply replied coldly, "Thank you, Professor."
Severus saw the hurt and willed the girl-no, woman- to think for a moment. He nearly smile in relief when he saw understanding flood her eyes. He supposed he had been a little harsh, but he was a bit embarrassed about last night.
Usually he kept a tight rein on his emotions, but Hermione seemed to be in possession of several traits that were his weaknesses. For one, she was brilliant; the brightest student he had ever taught. The weakness here lay in his craving for intelligent company.
They next: he never could handle a crying woman. If Voldemort ever tried to have one interrogate him, all of his secrets would probably be revealed in a frantic effort to stem the flow of tears.
The third-she was pregnant. *Gods, she was pregnant.* He had always had a soft spot for pregnant women. He even envied them, in a way. They would not be alone while they were carrying a child - the baby would always be there. And they were vulnerable, just begging to be protected.
Also, he never really had a chance to help any of the victims of Death Eater activities, and he was almost one hundred percent sure that a Death Eater had done this.
Lastly, she was Hermione. As a young girl, she had intrigued him and he had empathized with her problems. Later, he had feared for her as Potter continually put them in life threatening situations. At the Yule Ball in her fifth year, she had taken his breath away. For the first time he received a glimpse of what she would be in the future. A beautiful, intelligent, and yes, ambitious, witch who would leave her mark on the world. *Damn whoever had pushed him into caring for her. Damn them for making him want what could never be.*
He turned on his heel and strode away, robes billowing behind him. Calling over his shoulder, he said, "Be in my office at six o'clock. Do try not to be late."
**************************************************************************** **
As Hermione stared after the irate Potions Master, Harry picked up what the man had dropped on the table. Turning it over, he nearly dropped it himself.
It was a badge. On the front was a potions flask, with a wand in the back ground. Along the bottom it said 'Potions Apprentice,' with Hermione Granger studying under Potion Master S. Snape' in smaller letter underneath it.
Ron grabbed it from Harry and read it quickly. He shouted, "HERMIONE!! THIS . . . YOU CAN'T . . . YOU DIDN'T . . ."
She turned to him, trying to compose her face into an expression of calm. Surely, if she could tell Severus Snape her darkest secret she could confront Ron. "Ron, you're causing a scene."
"I DON'T BLOODY CARE!! Tell me you didn't, Hermione,"he pleaded. "Tell me you didn't request an apprenticeship with that greasy git."
*So much for the mature approach* she thought. "I did." She stood up and looked him dead in the eye. "It's what I want."
"But Hermione, you have to be around that nasty . . . greasy . . . bastard," he spat, obviously pleased with his explicative.
"He's not that bad, Ronald Weasley, you don't even know the man! So until you do, shut your big fat mouth!" Her face was red. Harry cautiously touched her arm and pulled her back to sitting on the bench as Ron marched away in fury.
She stared at the wall for a moment and burst into tears. *Damn pregnancy hormones just had to kick in too* she thought, and fled the Great Hall, leaving a very confused Harry behind.
**************************************************************************** **
She walked down to the dungeons slowly, wondering how Severus was going to treat her when she got there. Last night he had been tender and caring. This morning he was the same snarky, cruel Professor of the past six years. Which would he be this time? Or would he be someone totally different.
She was ten minutes early, but knocked anyway. "Come in," he barked.
She entered as silently as she had last night . . . had it only been last night? It seemed to be an eternity ago. Severus wasn't anywhere in sight. "Professor?" she called softly.
Her voice must have carried because she was answered with a curt, "In here."
She moved towards the half open door through which the answer seemed to have come. She stepped inside it to see him working on a potion. "Sir?"
He continued to add something to the cauldron as he replied. "Miss Granger?" She wasn't offended - timing in most potions was crucial and couldn't be interrupted for an eye-to-eye conversation. "You are early." His voice was not cruel, but a little distant and stiffly polite.
"Yes, sir." *Well, two could play that game* she thought with a mental sneer.
Slowly, through the course of the evening, the pair's attitudes towards each other warmed, though remained painstakingly civil. He did give her permission to use his given name, however, since they would be working so closely together.
By the time she left, Hermione was confident that things would get better between them. He had shown concern over her breathing in certain fumes and touching certain ingredients, so they had discussed in depth what she should avoid. He wasn't only protecting her; he was protecting her baby-and God help her, she loved him for it.
**************************************************************************** **
Hermione came at the same time everyday, and stayed until curfew. Severus quickly started to look forward to her arrival, not just for her help in the lab, either, though that was more than welcome. No, he looked forward to simply talking to her. It seemed that they had a lot in common. Their tastes in books even ran along the same lines, though Severus never read any romance, while Hermione occasionally indulged herself.
One evening, a week after her confession, she came in and approached Severus where he was working. "Good evening," she said. "What're you making?"
She leaned over to look and got a whiff of the potion. She blanched as Severus looked up and bolted.
She made it only as far as his office. She fell on her knees and puked out her lunch into his trash can.
Severus had followed her. He walked over to her and gently pulled her hair off of her neck and conjured up a cool wet clothe to put there. "I'm sorry," she told him in a small voice when she was done. "Thank you."
He helped her to stand and walked her over to where she could sit in his chair "Morning sickness?"
"I wish." She snorted. "Morning, afternoon, evening, every time except midnight. Have trouble keeping anything down."
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. For the first time since that night, his voice wasn't distant or cool.
"When? 'Good evening, Professor. I keep puking my guts out all of the time. Pass the newt eyes, please.' Really," Her tone was slightly derisive and there was a small sneer on her face.
"Little witch, I do believe you're spending too much time in my company," he chuckled.
"Exactly what Harry and Ron tell me." They looked at each other for a moment, realizing that they were teasing one another, and Hermione smiled tentatively. "Can we be friends in private as well as Master/Apprentice, please?" she pleaded.
He stared at her for a long moment. "Yes, we can, little witch. Indeed we can."
**************************************************************************** **
A/N: I need your help! I can't decide whether Hermione's baby should be a boy or a girl. Please review and tell me what you think!
A/N2: I also would like to know who you think the culprit is in Hermione's attack. Just curious as to whether I've left any clues or if it will come as a complete surprise. Add this to your review too, if you don't mind.
REVIEW!!! Pretty please!
Well, read, and please please please review.
Don't own it, never will.
**************************************************************************** **
Ch. 2-Back to Normal . . . Well, Almost
Being that the next day was a Saturday, she was thankfully able to sleep in. For once, she did not have the nightmares that had been terrorizing and shaming her, and, while still being tired, she felt better than she had in a long time. Knowing that she was not alone comforted Hermione to no end.
She snorted as she turned on the shower. *If someone had told me two months ago that I would be comforted by my Potions Professor while being pregnant with an unknown man's baby, they would have been in St. Mungo's faster than they could say Quidditch* she thought.
She had always respected the Severus, despite his cruelty to her and her friends. She had grown to admire him after her fifth year. She had watched him become more gaunt and scathing over the past year or so, but she knew it was a direct result of his role as a spy for the Order and the torture he received from Voldemort and his Death Eaters.
Death Eaters. Her hand came to rest on her still flat abdomen and a pensive look settled on her face. Had a Death Eater done this to her? Or had it been someone else? Who?
She shook her head sharply, trying to dispel her gloomy thoughts. It did not matter who, or why. It had happened, and she knew that she would love the baby despite how this had come about. She already did.
She absently dried herself off with a towel, and spelled her hair halfway dry. She had found that doing that and then letting it dry the rest of the way naturally took a lot of the bushiness out of her hair, leaving a cascade of bouncy curls behind. The rest of her grooming was interrupted by hard knocking at the door.
"Oi!! Hermione!" Ron called. "Come on, it's nearly noon!"
She opened the door still sans makeup, but dressed. "Hermione, have you been crying?" Harry enquired upon seeing her puffy eyes and red nose.
"Yes, but I'm fine now." She smiled at him and gestured them inside.
"Good," Ron said. "Let's go eat, lunch should be being served in a few minutes."
"Oh, Ron," Hermione laughed, voice full of exasperation. She picked up a bottle of foundation and sat down at her dresser, carefully applying it. "All you ever think of is food. I swear, if you were fighting Voldemort and lunch came around, you'd ask him for a time out to go eat."
She hear a squeak behind her. "You said . . . You Know Who's name, Hermione," Ron sputtered.
"You've never done that before," Harry said, meeting her eyes in the mirror where she was putting on her makeup without magic.
"So?" she asked, but was inwardly railing at herself for slipping up. Of course the guys would notice. They weren't supposed to know that she was any different yet. It was just that she had made a deal with herself after Severus had left last night to stop being as afraid as she had been. She refused to let fear rule her life any longer. She would go through with it too. "I decided it's not worth the effort to say the long un-name. Besides, Harry and Dumbledore are right. Fear of a name only increases the fear of the thing itself."
"Good for you, Hermione," Harry told her.
"Whatever, Harry. Now I have to be around two people that say that name. I'm going to go crazy!" Ron complained.
"Get over it, Ron." Hermione led the way out the door and to the Great Hall. They took their customary seats at the Gryffindor table. Ron immediately started to dig in, with Harry not far behind him. She watched them for a moment and felt her stomach turn over, partly at the sight of Ron shoveling the food into his mouth and partly the smell of aforementioned food. She managed to gasp a quick, "Back in a moment," and bolted to the nearest girls' restroom.
"What's up with her?" Harry asked.
"Who knows?" Ron replied around a mouthful of French fries.
Hermione stared at her pasty gray-white reflection in the mirror of the bathroom. So a waking nightmare was to replace her night terrors? Her morning sickness-she had been wishing ever since she found out about that she was pregnant that she would be one of the lucky few to avoid it.
The Fates must be laughing at her right now; no sooner deal with one problem then another popped up. *Damn them.*
She walked back to the table and clamped her lips together resolutely. Apparently, this wasn't going to get better any time soon. She slid onto the end of the bench next to Harry and avoided the questions in the duo's eyes.
When she felt more in control of her stomach she braved nibbling on a piece of garlic bread. She was halfway through it when a shadow fell across her plate. She looked up and saw Severus. "Professor?" she acknowledged.
Ron looked up and choked on whatever combination of food that was in his mouth; the sickening glimpse she had of it looked like it might be French fries and half-masticated burger, but she couldn't be sure. Harry reached over the table and slapped him on the back.
"Miss Granger," Severus sneered. "I dare say in your excitement last night you left this on my desk." He dropped something onto the table. "I hope it is quite clear, too, that without the Headmaster's . . . input this never would have come about. Mr. Malfoy would have been a more suitable choice, but what the Headmaster says, goes."
Hermione felt wounded for a moment that he would speak so after last night, and insinuate that Dumbledore had forced him to make his appointment. She looked into his eyes, though, and realized that they were playing a dangerous game. No one could suspect Severus of being disloyal and being nice to Potter's Mudblood friend was definitely suspicious. So she simply replied coldly, "Thank you, Professor."
Severus saw the hurt and willed the girl-no, woman- to think for a moment. He nearly smile in relief when he saw understanding flood her eyes. He supposed he had been a little harsh, but he was a bit embarrassed about last night.
Usually he kept a tight rein on his emotions, but Hermione seemed to be in possession of several traits that were his weaknesses. For one, she was brilliant; the brightest student he had ever taught. The weakness here lay in his craving for intelligent company.
They next: he never could handle a crying woman. If Voldemort ever tried to have one interrogate him, all of his secrets would probably be revealed in a frantic effort to stem the flow of tears.
The third-she was pregnant. *Gods, she was pregnant.* He had always had a soft spot for pregnant women. He even envied them, in a way. They would not be alone while they were carrying a child - the baby would always be there. And they were vulnerable, just begging to be protected.
Also, he never really had a chance to help any of the victims of Death Eater activities, and he was almost one hundred percent sure that a Death Eater had done this.
Lastly, she was Hermione. As a young girl, she had intrigued him and he had empathized with her problems. Later, he had feared for her as Potter continually put them in life threatening situations. At the Yule Ball in her fifth year, she had taken his breath away. For the first time he received a glimpse of what she would be in the future. A beautiful, intelligent, and yes, ambitious, witch who would leave her mark on the world. *Damn whoever had pushed him into caring for her. Damn them for making him want what could never be.*
He turned on his heel and strode away, robes billowing behind him. Calling over his shoulder, he said, "Be in my office at six o'clock. Do try not to be late."
**************************************************************************** **
As Hermione stared after the irate Potions Master, Harry picked up what the man had dropped on the table. Turning it over, he nearly dropped it himself.
It was a badge. On the front was a potions flask, with a wand in the back ground. Along the bottom it said 'Potions Apprentice,' with Hermione Granger studying under Potion Master S. Snape' in smaller letter underneath it.
Ron grabbed it from Harry and read it quickly. He shouted, "HERMIONE!! THIS . . . YOU CAN'T . . . YOU DIDN'T . . ."
She turned to him, trying to compose her face into an expression of calm. Surely, if she could tell Severus Snape her darkest secret she could confront Ron. "Ron, you're causing a scene."
"I DON'T BLOODY CARE!! Tell me you didn't, Hermione,"he pleaded. "Tell me you didn't request an apprenticeship with that greasy git."
*So much for the mature approach* she thought. "I did." She stood up and looked him dead in the eye. "It's what I want."
"But Hermione, you have to be around that nasty . . . greasy . . . bastard," he spat, obviously pleased with his explicative.
"He's not that bad, Ronald Weasley, you don't even know the man! So until you do, shut your big fat mouth!" Her face was red. Harry cautiously touched her arm and pulled her back to sitting on the bench as Ron marched away in fury.
She stared at the wall for a moment and burst into tears. *Damn pregnancy hormones just had to kick in too* she thought, and fled the Great Hall, leaving a very confused Harry behind.
**************************************************************************** **
She walked down to the dungeons slowly, wondering how Severus was going to treat her when she got there. Last night he had been tender and caring. This morning he was the same snarky, cruel Professor of the past six years. Which would he be this time? Or would he be someone totally different.
She was ten minutes early, but knocked anyway. "Come in," he barked.
She entered as silently as she had last night . . . had it only been last night? It seemed to be an eternity ago. Severus wasn't anywhere in sight. "Professor?" she called softly.
Her voice must have carried because she was answered with a curt, "In here."
She moved towards the half open door through which the answer seemed to have come. She stepped inside it to see him working on a potion. "Sir?"
He continued to add something to the cauldron as he replied. "Miss Granger?" She wasn't offended - timing in most potions was crucial and couldn't be interrupted for an eye-to-eye conversation. "You are early." His voice was not cruel, but a little distant and stiffly polite.
"Yes, sir." *Well, two could play that game* she thought with a mental sneer.
Slowly, through the course of the evening, the pair's attitudes towards each other warmed, though remained painstakingly civil. He did give her permission to use his given name, however, since they would be working so closely together.
By the time she left, Hermione was confident that things would get better between them. He had shown concern over her breathing in certain fumes and touching certain ingredients, so they had discussed in depth what she should avoid. He wasn't only protecting her; he was protecting her baby-and God help her, she loved him for it.
**************************************************************************** **
Hermione came at the same time everyday, and stayed until curfew. Severus quickly started to look forward to her arrival, not just for her help in the lab, either, though that was more than welcome. No, he looked forward to simply talking to her. It seemed that they had a lot in common. Their tastes in books even ran along the same lines, though Severus never read any romance, while Hermione occasionally indulged herself.
One evening, a week after her confession, she came in and approached Severus where he was working. "Good evening," she said. "What're you making?"
She leaned over to look and got a whiff of the potion. She blanched as Severus looked up and bolted.
She made it only as far as his office. She fell on her knees and puked out her lunch into his trash can.
Severus had followed her. He walked over to her and gently pulled her hair off of her neck and conjured up a cool wet clothe to put there. "I'm sorry," she told him in a small voice when she was done. "Thank you."
He helped her to stand and walked her over to where she could sit in his chair "Morning sickness?"
"I wish." She snorted. "Morning, afternoon, evening, every time except midnight. Have trouble keeping anything down."
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked. For the first time since that night, his voice wasn't distant or cool.
"When? 'Good evening, Professor. I keep puking my guts out all of the time. Pass the newt eyes, please.' Really," Her tone was slightly derisive and there was a small sneer on her face.
"Little witch, I do believe you're spending too much time in my company," he chuckled.
"Exactly what Harry and Ron tell me." They looked at each other for a moment, realizing that they were teasing one another, and Hermione smiled tentatively. "Can we be friends in private as well as Master/Apprentice, please?" she pleaded.
He stared at her for a long moment. "Yes, we can, little witch. Indeed we can."
**************************************************************************** **
A/N: I need your help! I can't decide whether Hermione's baby should be a boy or a girl. Please review and tell me what you think!
A/N2: I also would like to know who you think the culprit is in Hermione's attack. Just curious as to whether I've left any clues or if it will come as a complete surprise. Add this to your review too, if you don't mind.
REVIEW!!! Pretty please!