Okee-day, I've finally got it updated again. This is also unbeta-ed, so if
you see anything wrong, please tell me. Also, if there is anyone willing
to beta, I'd love to know. Umm, I have most of the story done, just a few
tweaks here and there as I go. Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, it
makes me so happy. Oh, and I thought I'd pique your curiousity; someone
has guessed right about her rapist. Keep me informed on what you think,
though. I'm trying to be a better writer. Please read and review. By the
way, I own nothing (duh!).
Jodel- I'm not really sure what you're talking about, I'm sorry if it comes up weird on your screen. It shows up fine on mine. Thanks for reviewing, though, and if you figure out how I can fix it, fill free to tell me.
Enjoy!
Ch. 4-Facing the Music . . . Well, the Gossip, Anyway
Hermione hesitated in the shadows before entering the Great Hall. For a moment, her legendary Gryffindor courage failed her. She was tempted to turn and hide in her room for the entire Sunday, but knew that she would have to face the masses on Monday if she did so. She jumped when she felt a hand on her back.
"Calm down, 'Mione, it's just me," Harry murmured.
Hermione looked at him. His eyes were still shadowed with sorrow and grief from losing Sirius and a few of their other friends this past year, and the extra burden of being responsible for trying to take down Voldemort. The green depths now held concern for her, and pain at the knowledge of what had and would happen to her in the future. "Thank you, Harry," she whispered.
"For what?"
"For sticking by me, for understanding about Severus, and for caring about my baby."
"Why wouldn't I?" he asked, not expecting an answer. "I'm your friend, and I'm going to be the baby's uncle."
"But so is . . . was . . . is Ron." Her voice was raw with pain and betrayal.
"And once he calms down and thinks about everything he will be again, if you decide to let him. Now, we have to face the music, love," he had started calling her that occasionally sometime the previous year. "You can't put it off any longer."
She nodded and wiped her sweaty hands on her robes. Tilting her head up proudly, she stepped into the Great Hall with Harry right beside her. Immediately the noise level dropped and then rose. Hermione noticed that there were many more people attending breakfast this Sunday than she could ever remember doing so before.
"Hey, whore! I hear you don't know who your baby's daddy is! Too many men?!" Hermione couldn't find her taunter.
"Is that how you get your grades, bitch?!" shouted a Ravenclaw from her own year.
The insults were like that and just got worse. Harry's hand hovered encouragingly on the small of her back. Hermione didn't seem to need it, however. She marched straight to her usual spot at the end of the Gryffindor table, never looking anywhere but directly in front of her. She sat down stiffly, Harry taking his customary spot next to her. Ron's usual seat across from her was empty; he was at the other end of the table.
The Gryffindors, for the most part, seemed to be on her side. They were glaring at her accusers, and some of them were even shouting at them in her defense. Among her defenders was Neville; he was standing toe-to- toe with a burly fifth year Slytherin, to Hermione's surprise and gratitude.
She felt a thrill of pride that most of her house was standing on her side, no questions asked, but also grief that they would have to do so.
The noise continued to escalate until Dumbledore let off a loud string of fireworks out of his wand. "That is enough!" His voice, even without magical amplification, filled the Hall. "Miss Granger and her baby are the innocents in this situation, I give you m word on it. Every teacher is hereby instructed to deduct points and assign punishments if they should hear so much as the softest and most mild insult towards this school's Head Girl. Mind your own businesses and go back to your breakfasts."
Most of the students had never seen Dumbledore this angry; he was radiating so much power that it was palpable. He sat down and turned to engage Professor McGonagall in a conversation. The silence hat had fallen over the student body at his outburst remained, however. At least, it did until Ginny asked, "So, Hermione, is it a boy or a girl?"
Hermione let out a shaky laugh and told her that she didn't know. Slowly, conversations started throughout the Hall, though it never reached the level that was normal for so many students being present.
She was still unbearably aware of the looks and the furtive whispers, though. She just prayed that she should get through the day without dissolving into tears again.
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Hermione actively looked forward to Potions class the next day. She knew that no one would dare raise the ire of her Potions Master, and so there would be a period of peace for her.
She was right. Silence reigned supreme but for the small sounds of knives cutting up ingredients and the soft boil of cauldrons. Because of this, she wasn't completely prepared to be approached by Draco, though she had expected it.
It happened just as she crossed the threshold into the hallway. "Mudblood's a whore now, huh? Couldn't keep your legs shut, bitch?" Draco sneered, but there was something in his voice that made her turn around to face him. Actually, it was more of a lack of something in his voice; there was no active malice there.
She looked at him intently. His face was blank as it usually was, except for the small sneer that seemed to always be there. Briefly, she wondered what he would look like if he took off his cold mask, but then his eyes caught her attention. There was no icy emptiness or fury or even hatred; instead, the emotion there seemed to her to be . . . an odd wistfulness. It reminded her of Severus, except Severus also had a look of caring there too. (Hermione didn't dare call it love, even in the deepest recesses of her mind. She did wish it, though.)
So busy was she studying him that she didn't even hear Draco's next half-hearted insult. She also failed to notice the dark shadow just behind him. Consequently, she and Draco both jumped when Severus spoke. Or rather, hissed, "Mister Malfoy, I am assuming that you heard the Headmaster's little speech yesterday. Thus I must deduct 10 points from Slytherin and assign you a detention for this evening with myself at seven. Now leave, Mister Malfoy, before you get yourself into further trouble."
"Yes sir," Draco said emotionlessly, and left without so much as a gloating glance at her for getting off so lightly.
Severus moved closer to her. After glancing around to be sure no one was about, he gently stroked her cheek. "Are you all right, luv?" he asked, the term slipping out before he could stop it.
Hermione's heart jumped with excitement, but told herself to knock it off, he just liked to use endearments. "Fine, surprisingly," she replied, tilting her head so his hand cupped her cheek for a moment before he pulled back. "He . . . I don't think his heart was in it."
"I'm surprised to hear you say he has one," Severus commented.
"Everyone, with the exception of Voldemort, has a heart. I do, you do, he does. In fact, I swear I saw envy in his eyes."
"Is that so?" he sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. "Well, just watch out, my lioness. He might still be dangerous. Now, I believe you should go to dinner before your friends come looking to rescue you from this greasy bat."
"Oh, Severus. My true friends figured out over a year ago what type of person you are; A good, honorable one who, by necessity, hides behind a mask. We may not always like how you act, but we, especially Harry and I, greatly respect you and we do worry about you. I'll see you tomorrow evening, my dark knight." With these final words (which she had been wanting to call him for some time) she rose to her tiptoes, kissed his cheek, and sprinted down the hallway.
Severus stood there, speechless. *She kissed me* was all he could think. *And defended me from myself.*
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It took about two weeks, but things were finally calming down. Hermione no longer had the urge to break down crying every day. She was glad that she wasn't the main topic of most conversations anymore. Actually, she was now able to complain about her situation.
Well, discuss it, anyway. "Sev," she had taken to calling him that lately; he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. He knew that, if anyone else called him that, he would rip them to shreds. "I can take the scorn, the anger, and the misunderstanding. It's pretty easy to ignore. Pass the armadillo vomit, please."
There was a short pause as he handed the flask to her. After adding the required amount to the potion she was working on, she continued, "What's harder to deal with is the pity. I have no clue how to deal with someone who is offering that type of sympathy. Sometimes, it just makes me want to cry."
"I can only advise you to ignore those as you do the others, luv. At least you now know who your true friends are," he told her. He wished there was more he could do for her. "Am I correct in saying that I saw Weasley giving you an apology earlier today?" he inquired.
"Yes, you are."
"And . . .? Merlin's beard, little witch, getting information out of you is harder than pulling teeth from a dragon!"
Hermione threw back her head and laughed at the exasperation he showed. Severus felt as though his breath had been knocked out of him. *She is so beautiful.* "Lord, Severus, do you mean to be so funny? Because I love it when you are." She was breathless and still giggling, a large smile plastered on her face.
"If it gets this reaction from you, then I do," he said the words before he could think.
She beckoned him closer as her mirth receded. He came hesitantly, wondering what she wanted and whether or not he should regret his words. Hermione put a hand on each of his shoulders. Leaning in, she gently brushed her lips against his and pulled back.
Surprised, he stood perfectly still. "You are my very best friend," she said, eyes serious. "As well as my mentor and my teacher, and someday maybe . . ." she didn't finish, leaving Severus wondering if she had been going to say 'something more.' "Yes, Ron has apologized, and I forgave him, but it will never be the same between us. He did a lot of damage to our friendship. And Harry is my brother, I know he'll always be there, and I love him dearly. You, though, are special and different. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Severus stared into her eyes, looking for a hint that she wasn't telling the truth. All he saw was sincerity. "I have to admit," he said slowly, "That you are also my best friend. I am honored to be yours. And I do not begrudge you Harry; he is turning into a fine young man. Tell him I said that and I'll have to hex you." Her lips tilted up in a small smile and the serious mood was lifted somewhat. "Now, it's time for you to go to bed, luv. I know you have a Transfiguration exam tomorrow."
She nodded acquiescence, covering a yawn with her hand. "Can I please Floo, Sev? I really don't feel up to all those stairs." Nearing her fourth month of pregnancy, her energy was starting to wane and her belly had grown a little.
"Of course." Severus escorted her to the fireplace and Floo-ed her to her room. He didn't like to let her go alone; he was afraid she would fall on arrival and harm the baby. "Good night, Hermione," he whispered, and brushed his lips across her brow. "Sweet dreams."
Before she could proffer her own words of parting, Severus was gone in a whirl of green fire. So instead, she smiled at the flames and blew them a kiss, then turned to get ready for bed.
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Severus had been working on the Memory Restoring Draught for a month, and so far everything indicated that the potion would do what it was supposed to. All that was left to do was add the final ingredient, four drops of dragon's blood. He glanced at the timer; 30 seconds to go.
He continued to count down in his head and then carefully dripped exactly four drops of the powerful substance in. There was an immediate, violent reaction. A small cloud of noxious blue smoke rose, nearly choking him.
Fury erupted from him. "Damn it!" he shouted to the empty room. *Hermione can't drink this! It would make her lose the baby!* He swept everything off of the lab table. It crashed onto the floor, the cauldron clanging as it bounced and emptied its contents and the glass vials managed to break despite the UnBreakable Charms on them.
When doing that did not assuage his rage, he let out an inarticulate yell and banged his fist into the wall until his knuckles were bloody. He whirled when he heard a voice at the doorway calling his name.
"Albus?" Severus snarled upon seeing the old man. "What do you want? This isn't exactly a good time."
"Well, I was going to simply invite you to tea, but I sense you need something a bit stronger at the moment." Albus Dumbledore studied the mess and then the man in front of him, his twinkle dimmed but still there. "May I ask what that cauldron has done to deserve its fate?"
Severus merely growled low in his throat. "Come, my boy, let's take this to my office," Dumbledore sighed. "Just be warned, Minerva's up there too. It was she who wanted to have you to tea. I'll send a house elf to clean up this mess."
Severus did not answer, merely fisted his hands and scowled more fiercely. However, he did follow the Headmaster to his office, hiding his injured hand in the folds of his robes when in the hallways.
When they entered, Minerva turned to welcome him with a smile. She wanted to apologize for her recent treatment of him. She faltered, though, upon seeing the expression on his face.
Severus threw himself into a chair. Dumbledore sent Minerva a look filled with both warning and concern. "Will you tell me what is wrong now, Severus? I've never known you to ruin a perfectly good cauldron and set of vials."
Minerva shot a shocked look in the Potions Master's direction. *He had ruined some of his precious instruments?*
"She can't drink that twice bedamned potion, Albus," Severus's voice was rough with suppressed emotion. He leaned forward and rested his head in his hands, oblivious to the pain in his hand. "She'd lose the baby."
Minerva had been told of the potion and its progress. She let out a soft "oh" at his revelation.
"Damn it, she was so hopeful, too." Severus suddenly felt drained and weary beyond words.
"We'll just have to wait, then," Dumbledore told them, looking older momentarily. "You can make more after the child is born."
Severus nodded despondently. *Will nothing ever go the way it's supposed to?* he wondered, pessimistic now to the extreme.
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When Severus was entering the Headmaster's office, Hermione was walking into the castle from the grounds. Care of Magical Creatures had been cut short when Neville had tripped over the tail of a wyvern (a creature resembling a dragon, winged but only possessing two legs and a milder disposition) and had broken his leg. Hagrid was bringing him to the Infirmary, and the rest of the class had been dismissed.
Hermione headed straight to the dungeons to see Severus; she hadn't seen him in over a day. She had been feeling bad and the day before yesterday he had told her to take some time for herself. She missed him, though, and wanted, no needed, to see him and talk to him.
She arrived at his office to find it unwarded. This worried her; he never left his office unwarded, even when he was in it. Drawing her wand, Hermione cautiously entered and, finding it empty, proceeded to the lab. She gasped when she saw the disarray, startling the house elf that was cleaning it up. "What happened here?" she exclaimed.
"I is not knowing, Miss," the house elf, whose name she did not know, squeaked. "But theys be being in Master's office, theys are. Master will tells you, he will."
"Thank you," Hermione said, already turning around. *God, what's happened? I'm so scared.* She jogged to Dumbledore's office, both hands pressed onto her stomach to stop it from bouncing and jostling the baby. She was puffing slightly, but was proud of herself that she wasn't panting. "Skittles," she told the gargoyle and it obediently leapt aside. She was glad that being Head Girl let her know the password.
She climbed the stairs, still cupping her tummy, and burst into the office. "What's happened to Sev-" she started to ask Dumbledore, and then she saw him sitting off to one side, looking like the world had ended. Hermione rushed over and knelt beside him. "What's wrong, luv? What happened?"
Even hearing that word fall from her lips couldn't rouse him from is apathy. Severus raised his head enough to look her in the eye and said, "The memory potion would kill the baby if you drank it."
"Is that all?" Hermione let out a shaky sigh of relief. "Good god, I thought something awful had happened! As much as I want to catch my attacker, we can wait until it's safe."
Severus dropped his hands in his lap in astonishment. "You're not upset?"
"Not really, not about that. Now this," she touched his injured hand. "This, I'm upset about." She pulled out her wand and muttered a healing charm.
He was flexing his hand to find it pain-free when agony suddenly ripped through him, centering at his left forearm. He clutched it and hissed through his teeth. "Damn fucking bloody hell! I am not up to this today!"
Hermione rocked back on her heels, paling with fear, not of him but what was happening. "Albus, I must go. Good day, Minerva. I'll see you tomorrow, Hermione," Severus had slipped on his old emotional mask.
*Professor McGonagall's here? Did I say anything she'll misconstrue?* was her first thought, but was quickly overridden. "No, Sev, don't go," she lunged up and grabbed his arm as he headed towards the door.
"I have to," Severus told her, but his mask slipped a little.
It fell completely when she hugged him tightly and said through her tears, "I know. Be careful, luv, come back to me."
He held her tightly for a moment, memorizing the feel and smell of her. "I promise I'll do everything I can to come back to you and the baby," he swore to her. Tilting her head up, he kissed her lightly. He caressed the small bulge of her stomach lovingly before he pulled away and walked speedily down the stairs.
"Sev!" he heard her calling him, but didn't turn back. Instead he quickened his steps, praying that no one would see him as he made his way to the dungeons. Severus Snape did not want anyone knowing that he was capable of crying.
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Hermione stared at the back of her Potions Master until she could no longer see him, then slowly climbed the stairs to the Headmaster's office. "How can you do it, Professor? How do you just let him go?" she asked.
"One doesn't let Severus do anything, child," he replied.
"I am NOT a child."
"I'm sorry, Miss Granger. Severus just does, without permission from anyone. But he will come back; he always does," he tried to reassure her.
"There's exceptions to every rule," Hermione said softly, before fleeing down the steps.
A minute passed, and then Minerva spoke. "So, there's nothing going on between Severus and Hermione, huh?" Her voice was full of sarcasm.
"Not anything past friendship just yet, Minerva," Albus sighed. "But there will be. Can you truly deny them the happiness they'll find together?"
"I just wish they aren't who they are. But yes, I will support them when the time comes."
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Hermione did not go back to her room as she knew the Headmaster expected her to. First she trudged to the Entrance Hall and pulled open the front doors just enough to get through. It didn't take two minutes to reach her favorite statue. She carefully clambered up it to sit at the feet of the stone griffin. The griffin settled back on its haunches and shielded her with its wings.
From here Hermione could clearly see the front gates and a large stretch of the Forbidden forest. She was reasonably sure that, since it was still light out, that Severus would not use the gates to get off the grounds to Apparate.
Sure enough, not five minutes later, she could see a dark clothed figure headed for the Forbidden forest. It stopped at the edge and seemed to be looking back towards the castle. Hermione stood up, using the griffin's proffered claw for support. She waved wildly.
Severus gave a start when he saw someone waving at him, but relaxed when he saw that the distant figure had a cloud of hair about of it's head. It was Hermione. He raised his hand for a brief moment, and then ducked into the forest, feeling heartened.
He was too far away to see the twin tears that ran down her cheeks or hear her whispered, "Be careful, my love."
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Hermione stayed outside for over an hour, until the cold that accompanied the approaching sunset made itself known. She once more entered the castle and headed towards the dungeons, this time to await Severus's return.
The mess in the lab was gone, Hermione absently noted as she passed through. She made her way to his private rooms.
Hermione knew that she wouldn't be able to lose herself in a book, so instead she started to clean everything, using both magic and good old- fashioned elbow grease. She started with the kitchen and made it through the living room and part of the library before her fatigue caught up with her.
She stumbled into Severus's bedroom. She'd been in there before; Severus had let her lay down in there after several nasty bouts of 'morning' sickness. Hermione wearily kicked off her shoes and removed her outer robes. Pulling back the comforter, which looked like it was made of leaves, she climbed in and fell asleep.
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It was in the wee hours of the next morning when Severus finally arrived back at the castle. He was exhausted, both emotionally and physically, from earlier that day and the Death Eater meeting. The meeting hadn't been as bad as usual; just a little torture, and a lot of planning.
Right now, all he wanted was sleep, but first he had to debrief to Dumbledore. He stopped in front of the gargoyle, and stared at it blankly. *I knew the password this morning. What was it?* he asked himself, but his brain just buzzed with static. "Albus, let me in," Severus leaned against the cool stone wall. Then jumped, as the statue moved aside. "Thank you," he told it and carefully placed his feet as he walked up the stairs.
He blinked against the bright light of the office. Severus could blearily make out the form of the Headmaster behind his desk, decked out in his nightclothes. "Sit down, Severus," Albus said kindly.
Severus looked at the comfortable chair the old man indicated, and shook his head. "I had better not, Albus. The moment I do I fear I will be asleep."
"As you wish, my boy. What do you have to tell me?"
Severus recited nearly word for word everything important that had been discussed that night. For the length of the meeting, not much had been accomplished. Only a few families had been marked for attack, and the Order would find them and protect them immediately. "Is that all, Headmaster?" Severus asked. He was almost swaying where he stood.
"Yes. You may go now, Severus. And today is Saturday, so sleep as long as you need to."
Severus just nodded. He carefully made his way back down to his dungeons. He warded his office and his lab, though not as heavily as usual, before he went to his private quarters. He walked in and blinked. *Is it just my exhaustion or is this place shockingly clean?* After a short moment of consideration, he shook it off and decided to think about it when he could actually think again.
He entered his bedroom and immediately shed the heavy Death Eater robe. He kicked the hated thing into the farthest corner, and made his way to his bed. He stopped, shocked, when he saw Hermione laying there asleep.
He must have made some type of noise because Hermione's eyelids fluttered open. She rolled over and saw him standing there. "Severus!" she exclaimed, instantly awake. She sat up and reached out to him.
"Hermione." The name was like a prayer on his lips. He suddenly found himself in her arms, his head buried in her hair.
"Are you all right?" Hermione asked, stroking his hair gently.
Severus just nodded. He seemed to be doing that a lot today. She felt the motion and finally relaxed. "Thank God," she whispered. "You must be exhausted, luv, you need to sleep."
He was already nearly asleep, leaning against her. At her words, he collapsed back, laying down. He was almost completely gone when he felt her getting off the bed. "Don't go," he begged in a whisper.
"I'm not leaving. I'll never leave you." Hermione told him. "Now sleep. I'll be here when you wake."
A sigh later and he was deeply asleep. Hermione padded softly around the large bed. She untied his shoes and pulled them off, and then hesitated. *He really will be more comfortable without that high-necked shirt* she thought, still undecided. Firming up her resolve to care for him, she reached up and unbuttoned it.
He was so deeply asleep that she was able to take it off of him without him even flinching. Hermione was even able to get him under the covers without waking him. She climbed back into the bed beside him Leaning over, she lovingly pushed the hair away from his face and traced one of the many scars on his sculpted chest.
"Sweet dreams, my love," Hermione murmured, dropping a small kiss on his lips. She then snuggled down next to him and joined him in slumber.
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Please Review! Thanks, until next time!
Jodel- I'm not really sure what you're talking about, I'm sorry if it comes up weird on your screen. It shows up fine on mine. Thanks for reviewing, though, and if you figure out how I can fix it, fill free to tell me.
Enjoy!
Ch. 4-Facing the Music . . . Well, the Gossip, Anyway
Hermione hesitated in the shadows before entering the Great Hall. For a moment, her legendary Gryffindor courage failed her. She was tempted to turn and hide in her room for the entire Sunday, but knew that she would have to face the masses on Monday if she did so. She jumped when she felt a hand on her back.
"Calm down, 'Mione, it's just me," Harry murmured.
Hermione looked at him. His eyes were still shadowed with sorrow and grief from losing Sirius and a few of their other friends this past year, and the extra burden of being responsible for trying to take down Voldemort. The green depths now held concern for her, and pain at the knowledge of what had and would happen to her in the future. "Thank you, Harry," she whispered.
"For what?"
"For sticking by me, for understanding about Severus, and for caring about my baby."
"Why wouldn't I?" he asked, not expecting an answer. "I'm your friend, and I'm going to be the baby's uncle."
"But so is . . . was . . . is Ron." Her voice was raw with pain and betrayal.
"And once he calms down and thinks about everything he will be again, if you decide to let him. Now, we have to face the music, love," he had started calling her that occasionally sometime the previous year. "You can't put it off any longer."
She nodded and wiped her sweaty hands on her robes. Tilting her head up proudly, she stepped into the Great Hall with Harry right beside her. Immediately the noise level dropped and then rose. Hermione noticed that there were many more people attending breakfast this Sunday than she could ever remember doing so before.
"Hey, whore! I hear you don't know who your baby's daddy is! Too many men?!" Hermione couldn't find her taunter.
"Is that how you get your grades, bitch?!" shouted a Ravenclaw from her own year.
The insults were like that and just got worse. Harry's hand hovered encouragingly on the small of her back. Hermione didn't seem to need it, however. She marched straight to her usual spot at the end of the Gryffindor table, never looking anywhere but directly in front of her. She sat down stiffly, Harry taking his customary spot next to her. Ron's usual seat across from her was empty; he was at the other end of the table.
The Gryffindors, for the most part, seemed to be on her side. They were glaring at her accusers, and some of them were even shouting at them in her defense. Among her defenders was Neville; he was standing toe-to- toe with a burly fifth year Slytherin, to Hermione's surprise and gratitude.
She felt a thrill of pride that most of her house was standing on her side, no questions asked, but also grief that they would have to do so.
The noise continued to escalate until Dumbledore let off a loud string of fireworks out of his wand. "That is enough!" His voice, even without magical amplification, filled the Hall. "Miss Granger and her baby are the innocents in this situation, I give you m word on it. Every teacher is hereby instructed to deduct points and assign punishments if they should hear so much as the softest and most mild insult towards this school's Head Girl. Mind your own businesses and go back to your breakfasts."
Most of the students had never seen Dumbledore this angry; he was radiating so much power that it was palpable. He sat down and turned to engage Professor McGonagall in a conversation. The silence hat had fallen over the student body at his outburst remained, however. At least, it did until Ginny asked, "So, Hermione, is it a boy or a girl?"
Hermione let out a shaky laugh and told her that she didn't know. Slowly, conversations started throughout the Hall, though it never reached the level that was normal for so many students being present.
She was still unbearably aware of the looks and the furtive whispers, though. She just prayed that she should get through the day without dissolving into tears again.
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Hermione actively looked forward to Potions class the next day. She knew that no one would dare raise the ire of her Potions Master, and so there would be a period of peace for her.
She was right. Silence reigned supreme but for the small sounds of knives cutting up ingredients and the soft boil of cauldrons. Because of this, she wasn't completely prepared to be approached by Draco, though she had expected it.
It happened just as she crossed the threshold into the hallway. "Mudblood's a whore now, huh? Couldn't keep your legs shut, bitch?" Draco sneered, but there was something in his voice that made her turn around to face him. Actually, it was more of a lack of something in his voice; there was no active malice there.
She looked at him intently. His face was blank as it usually was, except for the small sneer that seemed to always be there. Briefly, she wondered what he would look like if he took off his cold mask, but then his eyes caught her attention. There was no icy emptiness or fury or even hatred; instead, the emotion there seemed to her to be . . . an odd wistfulness. It reminded her of Severus, except Severus also had a look of caring there too. (Hermione didn't dare call it love, even in the deepest recesses of her mind. She did wish it, though.)
So busy was she studying him that she didn't even hear Draco's next half-hearted insult. She also failed to notice the dark shadow just behind him. Consequently, she and Draco both jumped when Severus spoke. Or rather, hissed, "Mister Malfoy, I am assuming that you heard the Headmaster's little speech yesterday. Thus I must deduct 10 points from Slytherin and assign you a detention for this evening with myself at seven. Now leave, Mister Malfoy, before you get yourself into further trouble."
"Yes sir," Draco said emotionlessly, and left without so much as a gloating glance at her for getting off so lightly.
Severus moved closer to her. After glancing around to be sure no one was about, he gently stroked her cheek. "Are you all right, luv?" he asked, the term slipping out before he could stop it.
Hermione's heart jumped with excitement, but told herself to knock it off, he just liked to use endearments. "Fine, surprisingly," she replied, tilting her head so his hand cupped her cheek for a moment before he pulled back. "He . . . I don't think his heart was in it."
"I'm surprised to hear you say he has one," Severus commented.
"Everyone, with the exception of Voldemort, has a heart. I do, you do, he does. In fact, I swear I saw envy in his eyes."
"Is that so?" he sighed, raking his fingers through his hair. "Well, just watch out, my lioness. He might still be dangerous. Now, I believe you should go to dinner before your friends come looking to rescue you from this greasy bat."
"Oh, Severus. My true friends figured out over a year ago what type of person you are; A good, honorable one who, by necessity, hides behind a mask. We may not always like how you act, but we, especially Harry and I, greatly respect you and we do worry about you. I'll see you tomorrow evening, my dark knight." With these final words (which she had been wanting to call him for some time) she rose to her tiptoes, kissed his cheek, and sprinted down the hallway.
Severus stood there, speechless. *She kissed me* was all he could think. *And defended me from myself.*
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It took about two weeks, but things were finally calming down. Hermione no longer had the urge to break down crying every day. She was glad that she wasn't the main topic of most conversations anymore. Actually, she was now able to complain about her situation.
Well, discuss it, anyway. "Sev," she had taken to calling him that lately; he wasn't sure if he liked it or not. He knew that, if anyone else called him that, he would rip them to shreds. "I can take the scorn, the anger, and the misunderstanding. It's pretty easy to ignore. Pass the armadillo vomit, please."
There was a short pause as he handed the flask to her. After adding the required amount to the potion she was working on, she continued, "What's harder to deal with is the pity. I have no clue how to deal with someone who is offering that type of sympathy. Sometimes, it just makes me want to cry."
"I can only advise you to ignore those as you do the others, luv. At least you now know who your true friends are," he told her. He wished there was more he could do for her. "Am I correct in saying that I saw Weasley giving you an apology earlier today?" he inquired.
"Yes, you are."
"And . . .? Merlin's beard, little witch, getting information out of you is harder than pulling teeth from a dragon!"
Hermione threw back her head and laughed at the exasperation he showed. Severus felt as though his breath had been knocked out of him. *She is so beautiful.* "Lord, Severus, do you mean to be so funny? Because I love it when you are." She was breathless and still giggling, a large smile plastered on her face.
"If it gets this reaction from you, then I do," he said the words before he could think.
She beckoned him closer as her mirth receded. He came hesitantly, wondering what she wanted and whether or not he should regret his words. Hermione put a hand on each of his shoulders. Leaning in, she gently brushed her lips against his and pulled back.
Surprised, he stood perfectly still. "You are my very best friend," she said, eyes serious. "As well as my mentor and my teacher, and someday maybe . . ." she didn't finish, leaving Severus wondering if she had been going to say 'something more.' "Yes, Ron has apologized, and I forgave him, but it will never be the same between us. He did a lot of damage to our friendship. And Harry is my brother, I know he'll always be there, and I love him dearly. You, though, are special and different. I don't know what I'd do without you."
Severus stared into her eyes, looking for a hint that she wasn't telling the truth. All he saw was sincerity. "I have to admit," he said slowly, "That you are also my best friend. I am honored to be yours. And I do not begrudge you Harry; he is turning into a fine young man. Tell him I said that and I'll have to hex you." Her lips tilted up in a small smile and the serious mood was lifted somewhat. "Now, it's time for you to go to bed, luv. I know you have a Transfiguration exam tomorrow."
She nodded acquiescence, covering a yawn with her hand. "Can I please Floo, Sev? I really don't feel up to all those stairs." Nearing her fourth month of pregnancy, her energy was starting to wane and her belly had grown a little.
"Of course." Severus escorted her to the fireplace and Floo-ed her to her room. He didn't like to let her go alone; he was afraid she would fall on arrival and harm the baby. "Good night, Hermione," he whispered, and brushed his lips across her brow. "Sweet dreams."
Before she could proffer her own words of parting, Severus was gone in a whirl of green fire. So instead, she smiled at the flames and blew them a kiss, then turned to get ready for bed.
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Severus had been working on the Memory Restoring Draught for a month, and so far everything indicated that the potion would do what it was supposed to. All that was left to do was add the final ingredient, four drops of dragon's blood. He glanced at the timer; 30 seconds to go.
He continued to count down in his head and then carefully dripped exactly four drops of the powerful substance in. There was an immediate, violent reaction. A small cloud of noxious blue smoke rose, nearly choking him.
Fury erupted from him. "Damn it!" he shouted to the empty room. *Hermione can't drink this! It would make her lose the baby!* He swept everything off of the lab table. It crashed onto the floor, the cauldron clanging as it bounced and emptied its contents and the glass vials managed to break despite the UnBreakable Charms on them.
When doing that did not assuage his rage, he let out an inarticulate yell and banged his fist into the wall until his knuckles were bloody. He whirled when he heard a voice at the doorway calling his name.
"Albus?" Severus snarled upon seeing the old man. "What do you want? This isn't exactly a good time."
"Well, I was going to simply invite you to tea, but I sense you need something a bit stronger at the moment." Albus Dumbledore studied the mess and then the man in front of him, his twinkle dimmed but still there. "May I ask what that cauldron has done to deserve its fate?"
Severus merely growled low in his throat. "Come, my boy, let's take this to my office," Dumbledore sighed. "Just be warned, Minerva's up there too. It was she who wanted to have you to tea. I'll send a house elf to clean up this mess."
Severus did not answer, merely fisted his hands and scowled more fiercely. However, he did follow the Headmaster to his office, hiding his injured hand in the folds of his robes when in the hallways.
When they entered, Minerva turned to welcome him with a smile. She wanted to apologize for her recent treatment of him. She faltered, though, upon seeing the expression on his face.
Severus threw himself into a chair. Dumbledore sent Minerva a look filled with both warning and concern. "Will you tell me what is wrong now, Severus? I've never known you to ruin a perfectly good cauldron and set of vials."
Minerva shot a shocked look in the Potions Master's direction. *He had ruined some of his precious instruments?*
"She can't drink that twice bedamned potion, Albus," Severus's voice was rough with suppressed emotion. He leaned forward and rested his head in his hands, oblivious to the pain in his hand. "She'd lose the baby."
Minerva had been told of the potion and its progress. She let out a soft "oh" at his revelation.
"Damn it, she was so hopeful, too." Severus suddenly felt drained and weary beyond words.
"We'll just have to wait, then," Dumbledore told them, looking older momentarily. "You can make more after the child is born."
Severus nodded despondently. *Will nothing ever go the way it's supposed to?* he wondered, pessimistic now to the extreme.
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When Severus was entering the Headmaster's office, Hermione was walking into the castle from the grounds. Care of Magical Creatures had been cut short when Neville had tripped over the tail of a wyvern (a creature resembling a dragon, winged but only possessing two legs and a milder disposition) and had broken his leg. Hagrid was bringing him to the Infirmary, and the rest of the class had been dismissed.
Hermione headed straight to the dungeons to see Severus; she hadn't seen him in over a day. She had been feeling bad and the day before yesterday he had told her to take some time for herself. She missed him, though, and wanted, no needed, to see him and talk to him.
She arrived at his office to find it unwarded. This worried her; he never left his office unwarded, even when he was in it. Drawing her wand, Hermione cautiously entered and, finding it empty, proceeded to the lab. She gasped when she saw the disarray, startling the house elf that was cleaning it up. "What happened here?" she exclaimed.
"I is not knowing, Miss," the house elf, whose name she did not know, squeaked. "But theys be being in Master's office, theys are. Master will tells you, he will."
"Thank you," Hermione said, already turning around. *God, what's happened? I'm so scared.* She jogged to Dumbledore's office, both hands pressed onto her stomach to stop it from bouncing and jostling the baby. She was puffing slightly, but was proud of herself that she wasn't panting. "Skittles," she told the gargoyle and it obediently leapt aside. She was glad that being Head Girl let her know the password.
She climbed the stairs, still cupping her tummy, and burst into the office. "What's happened to Sev-" she started to ask Dumbledore, and then she saw him sitting off to one side, looking like the world had ended. Hermione rushed over and knelt beside him. "What's wrong, luv? What happened?"
Even hearing that word fall from her lips couldn't rouse him from is apathy. Severus raised his head enough to look her in the eye and said, "The memory potion would kill the baby if you drank it."
"Is that all?" Hermione let out a shaky sigh of relief. "Good god, I thought something awful had happened! As much as I want to catch my attacker, we can wait until it's safe."
Severus dropped his hands in his lap in astonishment. "You're not upset?"
"Not really, not about that. Now this," she touched his injured hand. "This, I'm upset about." She pulled out her wand and muttered a healing charm.
He was flexing his hand to find it pain-free when agony suddenly ripped through him, centering at his left forearm. He clutched it and hissed through his teeth. "Damn fucking bloody hell! I am not up to this today!"
Hermione rocked back on her heels, paling with fear, not of him but what was happening. "Albus, I must go. Good day, Minerva. I'll see you tomorrow, Hermione," Severus had slipped on his old emotional mask.
*Professor McGonagall's here? Did I say anything she'll misconstrue?* was her first thought, but was quickly overridden. "No, Sev, don't go," she lunged up and grabbed his arm as he headed towards the door.
"I have to," Severus told her, but his mask slipped a little.
It fell completely when she hugged him tightly and said through her tears, "I know. Be careful, luv, come back to me."
He held her tightly for a moment, memorizing the feel and smell of her. "I promise I'll do everything I can to come back to you and the baby," he swore to her. Tilting her head up, he kissed her lightly. He caressed the small bulge of her stomach lovingly before he pulled away and walked speedily down the stairs.
"Sev!" he heard her calling him, but didn't turn back. Instead he quickened his steps, praying that no one would see him as he made his way to the dungeons. Severus Snape did not want anyone knowing that he was capable of crying.
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Hermione stared at the back of her Potions Master until she could no longer see him, then slowly climbed the stairs to the Headmaster's office. "How can you do it, Professor? How do you just let him go?" she asked.
"One doesn't let Severus do anything, child," he replied.
"I am NOT a child."
"I'm sorry, Miss Granger. Severus just does, without permission from anyone. But he will come back; he always does," he tried to reassure her.
"There's exceptions to every rule," Hermione said softly, before fleeing down the steps.
A minute passed, and then Minerva spoke. "So, there's nothing going on between Severus and Hermione, huh?" Her voice was full of sarcasm.
"Not anything past friendship just yet, Minerva," Albus sighed. "But there will be. Can you truly deny them the happiness they'll find together?"
"I just wish they aren't who they are. But yes, I will support them when the time comes."
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Hermione did not go back to her room as she knew the Headmaster expected her to. First she trudged to the Entrance Hall and pulled open the front doors just enough to get through. It didn't take two minutes to reach her favorite statue. She carefully clambered up it to sit at the feet of the stone griffin. The griffin settled back on its haunches and shielded her with its wings.
From here Hermione could clearly see the front gates and a large stretch of the Forbidden forest. She was reasonably sure that, since it was still light out, that Severus would not use the gates to get off the grounds to Apparate.
Sure enough, not five minutes later, she could see a dark clothed figure headed for the Forbidden forest. It stopped at the edge and seemed to be looking back towards the castle. Hermione stood up, using the griffin's proffered claw for support. She waved wildly.
Severus gave a start when he saw someone waving at him, but relaxed when he saw that the distant figure had a cloud of hair about of it's head. It was Hermione. He raised his hand for a brief moment, and then ducked into the forest, feeling heartened.
He was too far away to see the twin tears that ran down her cheeks or hear her whispered, "Be careful, my love."
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Hermione stayed outside for over an hour, until the cold that accompanied the approaching sunset made itself known. She once more entered the castle and headed towards the dungeons, this time to await Severus's return.
The mess in the lab was gone, Hermione absently noted as she passed through. She made her way to his private rooms.
Hermione knew that she wouldn't be able to lose herself in a book, so instead she started to clean everything, using both magic and good old- fashioned elbow grease. She started with the kitchen and made it through the living room and part of the library before her fatigue caught up with her.
She stumbled into Severus's bedroom. She'd been in there before; Severus had let her lay down in there after several nasty bouts of 'morning' sickness. Hermione wearily kicked off her shoes and removed her outer robes. Pulling back the comforter, which looked like it was made of leaves, she climbed in and fell asleep.
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It was in the wee hours of the next morning when Severus finally arrived back at the castle. He was exhausted, both emotionally and physically, from earlier that day and the Death Eater meeting. The meeting hadn't been as bad as usual; just a little torture, and a lot of planning.
Right now, all he wanted was sleep, but first he had to debrief to Dumbledore. He stopped in front of the gargoyle, and stared at it blankly. *I knew the password this morning. What was it?* he asked himself, but his brain just buzzed with static. "Albus, let me in," Severus leaned against the cool stone wall. Then jumped, as the statue moved aside. "Thank you," he told it and carefully placed his feet as he walked up the stairs.
He blinked against the bright light of the office. Severus could blearily make out the form of the Headmaster behind his desk, decked out in his nightclothes. "Sit down, Severus," Albus said kindly.
Severus looked at the comfortable chair the old man indicated, and shook his head. "I had better not, Albus. The moment I do I fear I will be asleep."
"As you wish, my boy. What do you have to tell me?"
Severus recited nearly word for word everything important that had been discussed that night. For the length of the meeting, not much had been accomplished. Only a few families had been marked for attack, and the Order would find them and protect them immediately. "Is that all, Headmaster?" Severus asked. He was almost swaying where he stood.
"Yes. You may go now, Severus. And today is Saturday, so sleep as long as you need to."
Severus just nodded. He carefully made his way back down to his dungeons. He warded his office and his lab, though not as heavily as usual, before he went to his private quarters. He walked in and blinked. *Is it just my exhaustion or is this place shockingly clean?* After a short moment of consideration, he shook it off and decided to think about it when he could actually think again.
He entered his bedroom and immediately shed the heavy Death Eater robe. He kicked the hated thing into the farthest corner, and made his way to his bed. He stopped, shocked, when he saw Hermione laying there asleep.
He must have made some type of noise because Hermione's eyelids fluttered open. She rolled over and saw him standing there. "Severus!" she exclaimed, instantly awake. She sat up and reached out to him.
"Hermione." The name was like a prayer on his lips. He suddenly found himself in her arms, his head buried in her hair.
"Are you all right?" Hermione asked, stroking his hair gently.
Severus just nodded. He seemed to be doing that a lot today. She felt the motion and finally relaxed. "Thank God," she whispered. "You must be exhausted, luv, you need to sleep."
He was already nearly asleep, leaning against her. At her words, he collapsed back, laying down. He was almost completely gone when he felt her getting off the bed. "Don't go," he begged in a whisper.
"I'm not leaving. I'll never leave you." Hermione told him. "Now sleep. I'll be here when you wake."
A sigh later and he was deeply asleep. Hermione padded softly around the large bed. She untied his shoes and pulled them off, and then hesitated. *He really will be more comfortable without that high-necked shirt* she thought, still undecided. Firming up her resolve to care for him, she reached up and unbuttoned it.
He was so deeply asleep that she was able to take it off of him without him even flinching. Hermione was even able to get him under the covers without waking him. She climbed back into the bed beside him Leaning over, she lovingly pushed the hair away from his face and traced one of the many scars on his sculpted chest.
"Sweet dreams, my love," Hermione murmured, dropping a small kiss on his lips. She then snuggled down next to him and joined him in slumber.
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