[17:50 October 12, 2002]

"The New Democratic Party has produced more of the leaders dubbed the most important men never to become prime minister than any other party in the history of Canada," Paul Hjorth declared confidently to the screams of his supporters. "However, an NDP leader has never won a federal election. So many influential politicians have come from this party, a party with so many immense ideas, yet none of them have led the nation.

"In deciding to run for leadership, I couldn't help but wonder the reason for this," he continued. "Our policies have been adopted. Our values have been put forward. And all of this has been done by the other parties! Which party fought for the institution of universal health care?"

"We did!" the crowd cheered.

"Which party consistently puts forward the most aggressive social welfare system?"

"We do!"

"Which party has the most outspoken and well-informed critics on almost all of the topics on the federal agendy?"

Hjorth joined the crowd in shouting, "We do!"

"I am humbled to be chosen to lead this party. The roots of the New Democratic Party are my roots. I was a teenager when I watched Tommy Douglas debate Medicare in a Saskatchewan provincial election. I watched as he moved from leading my province to becoming a major player on the federal political scene. It is one of my great regrets that he never gained enough support to be named prime minister."

Shouts of approval rose from the excited crowd. Hjorth continued over the top. "I don't pretend to be as great of a man as Tommy Douglas ever was. I'll consider myself lucky to achieve only half of the things that he achieved. I've already done some of it. I've had the opportunity to serve as premier of Saskatchewan. And now I've been given the chance to lead the NDP party federally. I know that with the divided right and the diminishing of Quebec separatism, there is a real place in Canadian politics for this party. And that place is the prime minister's office!"

McKenna flipped off the TV irritably, silencing Hjorth and his vocal supporters. "We haven't even called an election yet and he's already starting to campaign," he complained, reaching over to the table that held his feet and his beer.

"This is the best time for him to start campaigning," Brickhill pointed out. "He's coming right off a leadership race that he won by what anyone would call a comfortable margin from a province that's been a notorious provincial NDP stronghold. If you were him, what would you be doing?"

"Running a campaign," McKenna said, downing half his beer in two big gulps. "He just doesn't have to be so damn cocky about it." He imitated Hjorth's intonation, "'That place is the prime minister's office.'"

"What else has he got to offer them? Another term of stagnating on the backbench? That'd go over real well with the caucus that just elected him. How about some time in Opposition? 'I'd really like to win, but Tommy couldn't do it, how can I expect to.' That one'd go over even better." Brickhill flicked the ashes from his cigar into the ashtray at his elbow.

"Stagnating?" McKenna repeated. "Is that even a word?"

"How the hell should I know? When are the others supposed to be showing up? If they don't get here soon, we won't have much of a poker game."

"They're probably watching Hjorth try to capture as much airtime as he can before the Alliance vote takes over the news cycle," McKenna said, flipping the TV back on. The camera was panning over the top of the assembled crowd of people. He quickly changed the channel. Hjorth again, this time repeat footage of when the results of the vote had come in. He clicked the remote again, only to see another replay of Hjorth's speech. One more stab and a cooking show appeared. "Either that or they're learning how to sauté a roasted pig."

"Somehow I don't think that's quite what they're doing. I don't know if that even exists." On the television flames spurted up from the pan as the chef added something. "You know, when other people do that, the food just gets burned."

"The last time I saw flames like that was the last time my wife let me use a frying pan unsupervised," McKenna commented. "You think Hjorth knows how to sauté a roast pig?"

"I think that if that's the biggest thing we've got to worry about," Brickhill answered, jabbing his cigar in the direction of the television, "then this guy should be prime minister."

"If he wants the job, he can fight Seidel for it."

"I've never eaten anything Seidel's offered for fear that it might be poisoned, but I think that this guy could take him." The chef was brandishing a wicked-looking knife, dicing some skinny little vegetable slices into even smaller chunks. "I could go for some sautéed roast pig about now."

"I thought that wasn't a real thing," McKenna commented. "But there are pretzels and sausage on the poker table."

"If there's sausage then I'm in. Did Louise make that dip with the little green and red things again?"

"You know, Bill, if you'd spend half the time on politics that you spent thinking about food, you could be living here instead of me."

"If I spent half the time I spent on politics thinking about food, I'd weight another hundred pounds."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Remember, mister prime minister," Brickhill said, pushing himself to a standing position and starting off toward the other room, "Parliamentary language."

"To hell with Parliament. I'm hungry. And if the others don't show up soon, I'll set the RCMP on 'em. Hjorth's speech finished ten minutes ago."

"I'm pretty sure that you can't do that."

McKenna shrugged. "It'd be worth a try."