Dear Reader: I am experimenting with some switching in character viewpoints. Up until now it has been a third person narration, but I will have a go using first person narration via Lorna and maybe a bit of Archie. I hope it works out. *crosses fingers* r 'n' r before I am forced to beg. *begs*

Chapter 10

"Enter!" Never had such a simple word been so dreaded as had I never been so terrified; indeed I believe I had gone past terror into a kind of numbness. My mind was almost incapable of thought. Even being afraid terrified me. You must understand that I had never felt true fear, I didn't understand it and the very idea of an emotion flooding my veins and rendering me out-of control of my own mind terrified me. I was almost completely unfeeling as I pushed the door before me, my face must have seemed like a death mask looking upon my own destruction.

I found Captain Pellew standing with his back to me, gazing from the window, seemingly completely immersed in his thoughts. The silence was fraught with emotions but I could just stare at him, my lips automatically formed the words:

"You wanted to see me sir?" He turned very slowly, not flinching under my cold gaze. In my fear, my pride at least had not deserted me. He seemed older to me then; the first strands of silver in his auburn tresses seem all the more prominent and his eyes looked deeper, sadder.

"I feel an utter fool." I was surprised at that, I had expected something else. His voice was gentle and un-condemning, not the anger and disappointment that had replayed itself in my head over and over again as I imagined this confrontation. Indeed, he sounded almost pitying as he spoke to me, perhaps pitying me that I was born a woman, perhaps that I had been found out, or perhaps as he foresaw the punishment for my crimes - his mind conjuring images as violent and degrading as my own. "Six months at sea and you managed to keep this… secret? I never even suspected… and your messmates? You lied to them all." He looked wearier as he walked towards me. "A woman! Never in all my years as a seaman have I ever…" His voice railed off again as he searched for the right words. He brought his eyes directly in line with mine.

"You know what I should do with you? I should reveal you to the men… I should send you back to your family in disgrace… I should… I don't even know who you are, in the Lord's name. What is your name? What is your family? Never in my life have I not known what in God's name I am to do!" My mind had only really started to register what was going on then; that he wasn't angry, that I should be brave - that I should not fear him. I found voice to answer his question.

"You know my father, sir. Lord Hammond of His Majesty's Frigate Calypso." I saw his face pale at that, but plunged ahead nevertheless. "I am the youngest of his daughters: Lady Lorna Hammond." He was silent and I felt emboldened. "Sir, do not send me back - you cannot send me back to that place. Please, do not send me back!" For this my pride allowed me to beg, for I was at the Captain's mercy: I knew it and so did he.

"Do you realise the position you have put me in?" His voice was almost inaudibly quiet now. "A woman in the Royal Navy, a serving midshipmen for six months undetected, no less! And the daughter of a fellow Captain, one of distinguished reputation I might add, and a wealthy Irish Lord while you're at it! To send you home would be a disgrace, to keep you here would to throw the Articles of War, my commission, and all the regulations I stand for… TO THE WIND!" I heard him vent all his frustration and wretchedness in those last three words. I did not even flinch, though I still felt my fear gnawing away inside me, again. It took all my resolve to suppress it once more.

"What would you do if you could not be at sea? If you could not fight for your country?" I don't know why I had said that; it sounded foolishly desperate even to me. But I was desperate. He looked at me sharply.

"What I would do is of no consequence! I am no woman!" That silenced me, though I could see in his eyes he was softening, that he understood.

"So what exac'ly do ye propose to do with me, sir?" I didn't need the British accent now, though it almost seemed natural. I slipped back to my comfortable Irish lilt. He sighed and turned back to the window.

"I honestly don't know…"

We just remained like that. Ages crawled by as we stood in respective silences. He simply stood, his hands clasped behind his back, staring at the grey mists that hung over the channel, thinking. I could see the Lucille-Mariette floating close-to. I concentrated on the British ensign as it flew with the clouds - anything to distract me. I suppose it was slightly ironic that the Captain would turn round to see such a sight; standing tall and proud with my eyes fixed firmly, and unblinkingly, upon the cross of St. George. He smiled then, I saw it vanish from his face as I turned to look at him.

"Is there anythin' that can be done?" I was frank, yes, but it was hardly auspicious to prolong the agonising tribulation. I was glad that he was of a similar mind, and answered with similar forthrightness.

"Become a spy." My eyes near popped from my sockets at that. I thought to myself for a moment that he was joking, but it was hardly a matter for jesting.

"A spy?" I was mentally incapable to do more than echo him though I began to hope - I dared to hope as I had not done since that fateful cut of the sword..

"Yes, for the Admiralty. Become a spy for your country." He waited for a response but I remained mute. "You are a woman, and as such can work yourself easily into confidence, you have shown yourself to be hardly unqualified in the art of deceit and disguise…" I could not help but blush at that. "You are of noble family, and as such I imagine you are versed in foreign tongues - your English for example being infallible?" He paused to prompt me to reply. I nodded slowly - I must have been of particularly slow wit for I was finding everything almost incomprehensible, though I was still a little overwhelmed by first the skirmish and then the fear, and now this?

"Aye, I speak fluen' French, Spanish, English an', o' course, Irish. I can get by with my Italian an' my Prussian is pretty basic. Women of my station seem to be conditioned into fittin' into any society, foreign or no!"

"There you go then, you have the language and also an acquaintance with his Majesty's Navy and the arts of naval practice, that you could do it!"

"But you canno' just offer me somethin' like this! This is a burden of duty of to much import for you t' bestow."

"Indeed, I'll have to clear it at the Admiralty and believe me they won't be happy but… I can try." He permitted himself a small smile then. "But do you think you are fit for this… this responsibility? You know the punishment that would await you on capture, and you know the dangers involved. Is this something you would rather consider before taking on?" He even needed to ask it of me? An impulsive, Irish nature like mine?

"I would be proud to fight for my country, and for m' King! And if this is the only way I can do it then I s'ppose it'll have to be! Pray do n't think me frightened for m'self."

"Believe me, I do not, sir… that is to say ma'am…" His voice became quieter, so as I barely heard it. "And I must admit I'd do the same in your shoes…"

"Sir, what is to be don' now?"

"We must sail back to Portsmouth," I opened my mouth but he continued heedless. "Where you will be brought before a Lord of the Admiralty. I, personally, will speak for you and I'm sure they will come to… see my point of view. As to the men, we will say we must return the Lucille-Mariette to port. She is after all a prize too important for a Lieutenant - I hardly need speak of the consequences if she were to be recaptured. That should be reason enough to calm the crews discontent. The meeting with Admiralty will be brief - you will accepted or you will not - and if the conclusion is the desirable one you will return with me aboard, no questions asked. I hardly need add that utter secrecy will be required throughout. You will only speak if ordered to do so, am I understood."

"Aye aye, sir!"

"Good. Dismissed!" I saluted curtly and walked out only to collide with a hunched figure with his ear pressed to the door. He sprang back panicked.

"Archie! What in God's name are you doing man?"