A/N: Welcome to the amazing 4th chapter. We are already half way through the script format stories. I need to come up with new Ideas! Aaaaah! NOEZ! Enjoy.
.hackBOREDOM
LEGEND
It was a lovely, peaceful day at the .hackers house...or whatever they live in. It was about 3, which was the time the postman made his rounds to the house. Armed with machine guns, pepper spray and other various items to defend himself, he slowly walked towards the door. He looked down at the little slot reading: "Insert Mail Here! Pull your hand away in 15 seconds or it will be bitten off!" He slowly placed the letter in the slot when...
"HEEEEELLLOOOOO MISTA MAIL DUDE!" Tsukasa yelled, opening the door.
"BACK! BACK!" He reached for his pepper spray and fired. Tsukasa duck and began to tickle the Mailman. "AAAH! STOP! STOP!" Maildude yelled, punching Tsukasa in the face. The man pulled out a little vial of water and began to sprinkle it on Tsukasa. "THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" When Tsukasa showed no signs of being a demon, the mail gun drop the vial, the mail, and his guns, turned and drove away in his car, never to be seen again.
"Okay, well you just come back now!" Tsukasa said as the car disappeared. He turned around and let out a evil laugh. "Mailmen Two, Tsukasa Ten!" The wavemaster bent down and picked up the first envelope. He opened it and read it out loud to no one. "Dear Mister and Mrs. Hack. Oh! That's me! Congratulations!" Tsukasa threw his arm in the air and began to run around screaming.
"TSUKASA! WHERE IS HE?!" Mimiru yelled, jumping out to Tsukasa, holding a broom. "WHERE IS THAT LITTLE RAT?!"
Tsukasa tilted his head in confusion. "Rat? There is no rat. But this piece of paper just congratulated me."
"Oh...well..." Mimiru looked to her left, then to her right, tighten her grip on the broom and headed back. "If you see it, just give a scream..."
"Right-o!" He looked at the letter again. "You and your friends have been invited to join us for a filming of a episode of..." Tsukasa looked at the words in shock. "No...No...It CAN'T be!"
---Jungle---
A camera is panning through a dense jungle. It pushes through and we see Aura floating. "LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE!" The camera shows the studio filled with people from .hack series. "WITH YOUR GUIDE, BAAAAAAAAAALMUUUUUUUUUUUNG!"
Balmung floated down from the sky with a spot light on him, making him seem like an angel. "Welcome to Legends of the Hidden Temple!" He greeted before turning his head to the side and muttering, 'I can't believe this is the job Morganna wants me to do...' "Behind me you see Aura's temple! It's filled with lost treasures protected my mysterious Mayn temple guards. Only Aura knows the secret behind each treasure. Which one will we be hearing about today?"
"THE LEGEND OF THE KEY OF THE TWILIGHT!" Aura yelled.
"Ooooh, the legend of the key of the twilight!" Balmung copied, trying to sound surprised but failing. "Well, one of these six teams will have a chance to get the Key! Will it be the Red Jaguars?" Kite and Blackrose were standing on the other side of a moat, wearing red shirts with pictures of Jaguars on them. They gave each other a high-five and cheered with the crowd. "The Blue Barracudas!"
"Is that me?" Asked Mimiru, who was wearing a light blue shirt with a Barracuda picture on it.
"No, We're the Blue Bears!" Replied her partner, Bear, also wearing the shirt.
"The Green Monkeys!" Balmung pointed to Elk and Mia, who both were blushing and wearing matching green shirts along with a picture of a cute Monkey. "The Orange Iguanas!"
Mistral and Crim waved to the camera. "HIYA!" The both yelled in unison, wearing the same orange and iguana pictured shirts.
"The Purple Parrots!" Ginkan stood on the otherside of the water, wearing a purple shirt with a parrot picture, alone. "Um..." Balmung looked at his clip board. "We need a girl..."
BT, who was sitting in the audiences, stood up and said, "I, Gaia, The Spirit of the Earth, REFUSE TO BE HIS PARTNER!"
Balmung paused for a second and looked to his left. "Helba?" The great hacker didn't answer, as she was too busy still crying over the death of her plush-toy army. "Okay..." He snapped his fingers and POOF! A20 appeared next to Ginkan.
"Um...Hi..." A20 greeted.
"And the Silver people who always win!" Tsukasa and Subaru smiled at the camera, wearing Silver shirts with pictures of snakes on them.
"Why couldn't I be a Silver Snake?!" Ginkan pouted, stomping his foot.
The system admin. ignored Ginkan and returned to reading the cue-cards. "One of these six teams will get the chance to enter Ol- erm, I mean, Aura's temple. But first they gotta cross the moat."
"THAT THEY DO!" Aura agreed.
"And how are they gonna do it today?" Balmung asked.
"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!" Screamed the little girl.
"Um...Ok, you heard her. Anything goes." Balmung pulled up a chair and sat down. "You just can't swim across. Good Luck!"
Some funky music began to play in the background as the teams began their plots to cross the moat. "Anything goes, huh?" Kite said, getting ready to jump. "I know what to do! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He dashed forward and tried to jump the moat, but fell into the water. "Damn!" He muttered, swimming back. He tried to jump again, but landed in face down in the water again...and again...and again...
"Sigh..." Blackrose, um, sighed. She pulled Kite out of the water and looked him in the eye. "If you're gonna jump across, you need a vault." She picked up her sword and charged towards the edge of the moat. The Heavy Blade used her sword as a vault and went soaring across the moat and landed safely on the other side. "Ta-da!"
"Oh!" Kite reached over and grabbed Mimiru's sword. He was about to use it as a vault when Mimiru grabbed it back.
"Hey!" She yelled, taking it back.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kite screamed, falling face first on the floor. He look up and one of his teeth fell out.
"OH! I'M SUING!" Yelled Shugo from the audience, who jumped on Ouka's back. The two of them dashed out of the Legends set laughing about lawsuits.
"Bear, any ideas?" Mimiru asked.
Bear cupped his chin and thought. "Yes. We shall let the spirits take us over!"
Mimiru raised an eyebrow. "Spirits?"
"Yes!" Bear reached into his pocket, which he doesn't really have, and pulled out his portable Ouija Board. He placed it on the ground, sat down 'Indian Style' and began to chant. "Oooooooooweeeeeeeooooooouuuu." He moaned. For a second or two, nothing happened. Then all of a sudden, Bear lifted off the ground and magically floated across the moat. Mimiru stared in shock and horror as Bear just stood up and began dancing, like nothing had happened. "Just trust the spirits!"
"Ok..." Mimiru sat down near the board and waited...and waited...and waited...
"YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE SOUND!"
Mia walked over to the edge of the moat and looked in at the murky water. "I'm not touching that water..." She said, stepping away.
"We're not supposed to, anyway..." Elk reminded. The two began to pace back and forth thinking of a way to cross the moat. Elk couldn't think of anything, so he figured that it was best to take out some Aromatic Grass and smoke.
"ELK! NOT IN PUBLIC!" Mia yelled, trying to grab the joint of game grass away from Elk.
"Cat girl, like, don't ya know?" Elk said, his mind already warped. "If we smoke, ideas will come to us easy."
"Really?"
"Really."
Mistral was pacing back and forth. "Crim, any ideas?" She asked.
"Yeah, I could jump across..." Crim said, getting ready to jump. "What about you?"
"I know!" The wavemaster said, snapping her fingers. She reached into her pocket and pulled out some sparkles. "My newest rare item! Teleport ala Sparkles!"
"Wha?" Crim never got his answer, as Mistral just threw the sparkles into the air. She swung her staff around and- WHOOOSH! Crim and Mistral were now over on the other side of the moat. "Cool!" Crim said, dashing over to the gong and hitting it.
"Orange Team is the first across!" Balmung announced.
"WHAT?! NOOOO! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FIRST!" Ginkan yelled.
A20 stared at Ginkan and raised her eyebrow. "Who ARE you?"
"Quick! Do something to get us across!" A20 nodded and jumped across the moat with easy. "How did you do that?!" Ginkan asked in amazement.
"I'm a twinblade. I jump good!" She replied.
"Well, so is Kite..."
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Yelled Kite as he once again tried to jump over the moat, only to come splashing head first into the water.
"Well, ya..." A20 started, turning her gaze back to Ginkan. "But he's an idiot."
Subaru lifted her ax and pointed at Crim and Mistral. "Gasp! Did you see how they got across?!"
"Yup! Magic!" Tsukasa replied.
"Use your magic Tsukasa!"
"RIGHT!" Tsukasa lifted his staff in the air and summoned his Guardian. "Erm...Oops?"
"Can't you use Magic?" Subaru asked.
Tsukasa pondered this fact for a few seconds while his Guardian was moaning like a whale. "I think all I can do is summon my Guardian...geez, what a useless Wavemaster I am. BUT NOT TO WORRY! I have a plan!" The useless wavemaster quickly dashed off set and returned with women's clothes. He threw them into the air as the Guardian flew into them and got dressed.
"That's your plan?!" Subaru yelled. "To make your Guardian a Cross-dresser?!"
"Hey...I never said my plan was gonna help."
"Forgive my sudden use of Japanese words, but, BAKA!" She screamed, whacking Tsukasa on the head. Tsukasa's guardian didn't like this that much and data drained Subaru.
"LADY SUBURA AND/OR SUBARU-SAMA!" Ginkan screamed as he watched Subaru fall to the ground, dead. He lifted his sword and charged at the Guardian. "YOU BASTARD!"
"STOP!" Subaru yelled, jumping up and stopping Ginkan in his tracks. "I have risen from the dead. I am...SUBARU!" Ginkan and Tsukasa let out a long, blood curling scream as they stared in horror at the risen Subaru.
Meanwhile, Kite was still trying to jump across the water. And failing. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Ouch!" He would scream over and over. Kite was about to try another jump across when Mimiru held her sword out and tripped Kite. The twinblade fell flat on his face and was knocked out.
"Great..." Blackrose muttered.
Mimiru chuckled at the KOed Kite and then went back to the task at hand. "Bear! It's not working!" She yelled, still trying to float.
"You're not making the sound!" Bear replied.
The Heavybalde took in a deep breath and hoped her reputation as the sane one wouldn't be ruined. "Ooooweeouuu..." She whispered. After a few seconds, she stood up and began to stab the Oujia board. "IT'S!" Stab "NOT!" Stab "WORK-" Stab "KING!" Stab.
Bear gasped at Mimiru. "Do you have any idea what you have just done?!" Bear said, backing up away from the side of the moat.
"No,...Why?"
The Ouija board suddenly came to life and began to float around Mimiru. "How dare you stab me! BEGON VILE WOMAN!" In a flash of white light, Mimiru had disappeared and the Ouija board fell into the moat. "AAAAH! I'M MELTING! MEEEEEEEEEELITING!" Screamed Ouija Board as he...or she...or it...melted.
"Hm... I wonder where he/she/it sent my teammate?"
---Antarctica---
"Hello!" Mimiru greeted the Eskimo cheerful. The Eskimo didn't respond, just stared at Mimiru. "Can you help me cross the moat?"
"STOP TALKING YOUR WIZARDRY!" Eskimo man yelled, running away from Mimiru.
---Legends of the Hidden Temple---
"HEY LOOK!" Elk yelled, pointing at nothing. "It's the meat bridge!"
Mia let out a loud gasp. "The meat bridge? Has it come to lead us over the water?!"
"Yes! It has!" The two of them cheered and ran across the 'meat bridge', which was never really there. See? Smoking Aromatic Grass can help you overcome the laws of physics.
"Somehow...I really don't know how...but the Green Monkeys have locked in second!" Balmung announced.
"DAMN! Okay..." Ginkan took in a deep breath. "I'm gonna try and swim it."
"You're not supposed to!" A20 yelled, but it was too late. Ginkan had already jumped head first into the moat. He stay underwater for a few seconds, then resurfaced, screaming and splashing about.
"HELP! HELP! I'M DROWNING! HELP!" He screamed, sinking under the water.
"Dude, the water is like...Three Feet...and you're like what? Five feet?" Balmung said, sighing at the stupid Silver Knight.
Ginkan stopped his scream and splashing for a second and stood up. "Oh..." He said calmly, turning back towards the other side of the moat. He suddenly stopped and began to 'drown' again. "HELP! HELP! THE WATER MAY BE THREE FEET, BUT YOU CAN DROWN IN ONE INCH OF WATER!"
"Weeeeeeeeeeeee!" Cheered Tsukasa and Subaru as they floated across the moat on the back of the Guardian. They reached the other side and Tsukasa dashed over and hit the gong, placing them in third.
"The Silver Snakes have locked in third! We're still waiting for one more team!" Yelled the host. Balmung looked over the remaining teams. Both Blackrose and Bear were both pacing back and forth yelling, 'What do I do? What do I do!?' and Ginkan was still trying to stay above the water. "Hm..." Suddenly, in a flash of light, Sora and BT appeared next to Balmung, wearing pink shirts. "Who are you guys?!"
"We are the pink panthers!" They said in unison.
"There were no pink pan-"
"There are now!" Sora yelled, hitting the Purple Parrot's gong.
Balmung shrugged and announced, "Well, it seems our fourth team is the Pink Panthers! Congratulations to the Green Monkeys, Orange Iguanas, Silver Snakes and Pink Panthers! The other teams won't go away empty handed, heres what we got for them!"
"THEY GOT A POKEMON CARD!" Aura yelled. "I THINK IT'S PIKACHU, I DON'T KNOW, IT'S VERY COMMON...BUT I DON'T CARE! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY TEMPLE!" The moat began to swirl around and look like someone had just pulled the plug. The water raised up high and grabbed all of the losing teams and sucked down and out of the temple.
"When we come back, these four teams will venture onto the next trial, the Steps of Knowledge! We'll be right back with more...Legends of the Hidden Temple!" Balmung waved the to camera as it floated away and went to commercial break.
To Be Continued...
Next Chapter- KNOWLEDGE
Tsukasa: -Jumps up and puts up a sigh reading:-
Five Seconds with Tsukasa! (It's really more then 5 seconds...DON'T JUDGE ME!)
Tsukasa: Hello everyone! It's me, the readers fav, TSUKASA! This is a new segment just for my fans. Yes, just for you. All of you. I love you all. Anyway, in this part of the story, I will answer any questions you reviewers have. So make it addressed to me, okay? Ya know, like this example:
"Dear Tsukasa,
YOU ARE DA PWN MASTAAAAA! I LUV U! CUM HER AND KIZZ M33!!"
Tsukasa: Yup. And I will kiss you. Yo-
And that has been: Five Seconds with Tsukasa! (It's really more then 5 seconds...DON'T JUDGE ME!)