Broken Fairy
A/N: Re-edited. Minor changes. This is my first attempt at Artemis Fowl fanfiction, so please don't get your hopes up too high. Naturally, this is a Short/Artemis fic. Kind of sad, really… But who wouldn't be, given the circumstances?
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I sometimes beg you to remember.
There are days when you almost… do.
Just… Almost.
I'm trying not to show my disappointment. I know that if you'd seen me, you'd have gloated at me… Smirked at me... Laughed at me…
Please, Artemis. Remember me…
LEP Underground
"The Captain is not doing very well, Julius." Said Foaly gravely, without turning back. His fingers were deftly handling his keyboard as he watched his screen flicker and change. The images that appeared were nothing but computer hard drive services. The centaur's eyes were focused on it, but his mind was blank, ears listening intently behind him.
The room was dark; only the monitors glowed a faint, boring blue. Wires and mechanical tools lay scattered around the small room. There were more wires donning the walls and five empty cups of coffee littering the small space of desk left. Foaly kept a filled cup next to the monitor; he hadn't slept in days.
Julius Root said nothing about the Captain, choosing instead to stare at the screens and all the symbols that flashed. It was as if Root was simply letting the conversation dwindle and fade, but Foaly knew this discussion was why Root had come in the first place.
"Don't try acting so innocent," Pestered Foaly, resisting the urge to look back. "I know you're not the least bit interested in what you are ogling at. Say what's on your mind."
"Stop harping on what I've done, Foaly."
"I am not harping," pouted the centaur, "It was the right decision after all… I know that. It was procedure. Heartless, clinical, protocol-ish at it may be, it was still procedure— the procedure to be followed."
His voice held a sarcasm and irony that echoed darkly inside the small chamber. Root frowned.
"You do not know how dangerous that Fowl boy is to the People, Foaly. I had to give the order."
Foaly neighed. It was far from a happy one. "You don't know how much he'd changed, Julius. You do not know how much Holly is missing him."
"May I inform you that Captain Short has been nothing but useful in these last three months!"
Root's color had begun to redden. Foaly could sense it.
"Yes, I have noticed." Said Foaly, his tail swishing. "But I advise you to actually notice Holly. She hasn't been her impulsive self—"
"That's more of an improvement—"
"—and she has been coming to me at every free second! She sits here like a limp doll, curling against the corner of the room! I've wanted to reach out, but she is too far away. All she wants is me to type on my keyboard, as if perhaps it would distract her!
"She does not tell me why she's sad… she doesn't have to. It is blatant."
The commander paced around the tiny room for a few moments. It did not come out as a shock; reports had been coming in about one of his brightest captains losing her spirit, fire, and spunk. What scared him was the fact that her spunkiness made her who she was. And now that the fire had been extinguished, who was she now?
Thoughts like 'what have I done?' And 'I should talk to her,' kept popping into his mind, but that was the side of Julius that he wished nobody knew existed.
"We can't do anything about it now." The Commander uttered uncharacteristically, before leaving.
"Well, I can." Replied Foaly quietly. The keyboard strokes never missed a beat.
Fowl ManorButler evened his breath as he opened the heavy doors. His breathing rasped about as he exerted his effort, but he did not mind. He was happy; very happy.
"Artemis, my old friend," He said, smiling down.
Artemis looked up and smirked, stepping inside, "Domovoi. I'm finally home. You won't believe the silly primitive subjects they teach in that school. How are mother and father? How's Juliet?"
"Your parents are well, in fact they are waiting patiently for your return in the dining room. Juliet has won fifteen lightweight championship wrestling belts already, and she's still asking for more."
Artemis chuckled. "Somehow I find I am not surprised. Do excuse me for hurrying to the dining room. I'm famished."
Domovoi Butler smiled. "Of course. I'll take your luggage from the car."
"Thank you. But don't strain yourself."
Domovoi laughed. "Glad to have you back."
"Glad it's summer. I've missed home."
LEP Canteen Facility
"Good-bye, Holly. I won't see you again, though I am sure you will see me…"
I haven't seen you since, Artemis… Do you know why? I can't stand it. I can't bear it… How can I even to see you without wanting your eyes to stare me down and recognize me?
But there isn't a trace of me left in your brain.
I still recall the last time we knew each other, as if that memory had always been in my heart.
Tara was a beautiful place at night. I would have told that to Foaly, but I had been too ashamed of myself that evening. Instead I had tried to focus on my flying. The breeze had been cool and I had found the air satisfying.
Anything comforting had been satisfying to me then.
I had been keeping thought of you while you were in the Operating Room. The mind wipe you were to take was irreversible if you had no objects to remind you of the People. I had felt so bitter searching your house, so bitter when I found every trace. You even gave Mulch my memento for you. I had hoped you wouldn't but… you did.
My eyes had been watery even before I left you; Foaly must have noticed when I had shut my visor. I had to cover myself; protect myself. I kept wondering why I was crying for a Mud Boy, who wasn't even my friend… I had tried to stop my tears in Tara, but they just kept forming… Maybe it was because I kept telling myself that you were as good as dead. Gone.
I should have said goodbye.
Was it just macho bravado that held me back? Or was it because I couldn't accept goodbyes?
I had been alone that night in Tara. And the moon was the only witness to my tears...
"Holly," Said Foaly, poking at her waist once again. "Stop daydreaming."
Another poke. Bright brown eyes flashed and focused.
"Foaly," Said Captain Short lamely, looking dazed, "Hi. Haven't seen you out in a while. Is there another task?"
Foaly stomped a foot. "Not directly, no. But I would like to show you something… If you'll come with me."
"Now?"
"I think you'll like it."
Captain Short nodded and proceeded through the LEP canteen, following the centaur.
Fowl Manor
Artemis looked intently at the food. His father and mother were laughing at some joke; he wasn't listening. He glanced up at them, and could barely hide a smile.
In his heart he knew he had been alone for a long while, and that it was them that made the house livelier than before. That it was them that saved him from the silent hell.
He remembered a phase of overly jovial feelings, as his mother came back to her senses and his father returned. But he could not understand why such mystery clouded everyone's minds at that certain period. Butler's version of events contradicted his parents, and his own memory seemed to clash with theirs as well. The whole family chose better not to argue about this.
On another matter, Artemis thought that coming home to the Irish country side would make him happier than he was at the boarding school, but although his heart had lightened considerably upon his return, he also felt strange.
As if there was something else missing. A piece haunting his mind. He could feel it. The house was trying to scream it out. Something had happened here. And it made him incomplete.
LEP Laboratories; Foaly's Quarter
"You don't have the authority do create this model." Reprimanded Holly, although her tone was awed. She stared at the silver bracelet on her hand. It shimmered mysteriously.
Foaly grinned. "Well, it's still technology, and I am allowed to experiment in order to create more technology, aren't I? Besides, it's not as if the People would want to live above ground amongst the Mud Men and pollution.
" ... Holly, I made it for you specifically. You may or may not use it. It's really up to you. I'm just giving you the option."
Holly looked surprised. "Thanks."
Foaly scratched his head. "I hate to see such a tomboy like you cry…"
Fowl Manor
The night was ever so lulling. The Irish coast swept in silent songs of sweetness, of sadness, of love. Tonight was a magical night.
Artemis lay soundly asleep, and his dream was something vague, something indistinct, like mist upon the bearded meadows. A dream that gripped his heart with sweet misery.
In his dream, there was a fairy; her pointed ears were visible beneath tendrils of red hair. She was beautiful with her large brown eyes and hazy silver wings. She sat on a huge rock by a stream surrounded in mist; and Artemis could hardly see from the white brightness that emanated from her.
The little fairy was carrying a gun. She was playing with it, loading and unloading, before she noticed him. As she looked up, and he stood frozen, she sighed.
"Do you miss me, Artemis?" She asked, sadly.
"No. How can I when we've never met?" Replied Artemis. His heart was suddenly aching.
The fairy tilted her head quizzically. "Then why are you holding my gift?"
Artemis glanced at his hand. Tangled around his fingers was a fine black string, and on it there was a gold coin with a perfect hole in the center. He had never seen it before.
"I don't know why I am holding it." Said Artemis truthfully.
The fairy's wings drooped and she looked down mournfully at the medallion. After a moment of silence, she placed her gun back on her holster and jumped down the rock.
"Oh…" She sighed, before walking away.
Artemis suddenly found himself running.
"Wait!" He yelled at the fairy. "Come back! Wait! Talk to me! Holly!"
"Come back! Wait! Talk to me! Holly!" Artemis yelled from beneath the rumpled sheets and distressing slumber.
I blinked owlishly. I could hardly believe it. I was pressed upon Artemis window, watching him sleeping restlessly, when he had uttered those words. I was invited in. I was to see him. Again.
Finally.
For a moment I paused, checking his breathing to ensure that he was still asleep. Then, carefully, I opened his window and slid in. At other times I would have checked with Foaly first, but as no one knew I was above ground, and that I left my LEP suit and helmet in my locker, I remained silent and alone.
I didn't care.
Nothing stirred as I bounded skillfully onto the floor. It was a good thing Artemis had lessened his security, what with his mother and father urging him to stop his criminal acts. Surprisingly I doubted he had actually stopped being so active. After all, his oaths of changing were erased in the mind swipe.
I walked towards the foot of the bed. Slowly. I watched his breathing. Even and gentle, like the caressing waves of a lake. I wanted to touch the young, sleeping boy, yet I knew I shouldn't. I might wake him unintentionally with my magic.
My eyes traveled on him, silently recalling how he had been such a long time ago.
Artemis.
I only realize now how much I've ached for him. Back in the LEP force I had secretly hoped for some sort of Mud Man conspiracy to hit us fully in the face, so that I could hope it was Artemis. But nothing happened. I spent three lonely months knowing Artemis would never return to my life.
But now he can.
I took out the bracelet that Foaly had given me. The centaur told me it was a DNA adaptor that was connected to the brain and spine. Micro-needles would clamp down to my wrists sending different sorts of electronic jargon and magic throughout my body. It was brimming with enchantments and winking in the moonlight.
If I wore this and thought hard, I could be what I wanted to be. I could become human.
And forget my fairy life forever.
For Artemis.
I stared at him, his pale face under the moonlight, looking content; but eyebrows still knotted together, as if in concentration. This was how I remembered him best, always thinking. Always planning. I resisted brushing a strand of raven hair away from his forehead. I cannot touch him… yet.
How I miss those blue eyes.
I was about to bear the bracelet. Artemis means a lot to me, I know that now. Even if he had been my kidnapper, I have learned to love him. Even if I have done so many things for him, I am willing to do more.
I took a glimpse at the silver band. I thought of Foaly, and Commander Root, of my own mother and father and all the friends and comrades I've made underground. Was I really going to sacrifice everything for this human brat?
I put the bracelet away from my wrist. My breathing was heavier. Why was it so hard to let go? To let go of everything that who made me who I am? Let go of piloting, flying, and fighting? Let go of policing, let go of magic? I have already made my decision: and that was to turn human for Artemis…
But…
I need a few moments; I took the leisure to pace around the room. I am afraid. Too afraid of the consequences.
Too afraid of changing.
A picture at his bedside table caught my eye. I ventured towards it, and picked it up gingerly. A girl with straight red hair and brown eyes stared blankly back. She was wearing a uniform of some sort.
She looked like me, I noted. Except for the fact that she was human, she had the same features as I. I wondered who she was, and what's more, what her picture was doing on Artemis' nightstand.
My answer came on letter placed under the picture. Handwritten and beautifully romantic, my heart suddenly experienced a sinking feeling.
I knew I wasn't supposed to read anything like this, but I couldn't help my impulses.
To dearest Staci,
I have successfully returned home and am safe in my room as we speak. Mother and father are very enthusiastic about tomorrow; as I am too, so to say. The whole family is going on a picnic, just a bit outside the grounds.
In the next few weeks I will be fishing. I have never done so, but Butler tells me it is a suitable exercise for one who thinks deeply.
Well, I shall use this opportunity to tell them all about you, Anastaci. I will tell them of my love for you and of the kindness and harshness you have shown me. No one has ever bickered like you or became my comrade and partner like you. (Except perhaps faithful Butler, yet that is not the point...) It feels as if I've known you long before. You hold a familiarity I cannot place.
Well, I guess that's all I can say. Do reply early, I suspect fishing to be a bit dull. It's good to have something to read.
You should be honored to have made me write to you without my email, by the way… Well at least I have now proven to you that I CAN bear writing old-fashioned.
Yours truly,
Artemis Fowl II
I dropped the picture and the letter numbly. I glanced at Artemis.
He doesn't love me.
What am I saying? He doesn't even know me.
I felt anger and surprise brimming at my very soul. Eating a way a heart that had been hoping too much tonight.
Artemis! Don't you know that it is I who you recall? That it is I who had bickered with you and fought alongside you before your Staci?
I glared hard at the face propped up against the pillows. He is silent and stoic, and I was trying my best to contain my magic from bursting out of me.
Stoic.
No. He doesn't want me. He never wanted me.
Everything was a blur. My eyes were heavy with tears, and my throat aching to groan out. I was shaking already, half-wanting to wake the boy and tell him that it was I who he remembered. That it was I that made him love Staci…
I found myself sprinting away Fowl Manor, shielded from human eyes, trying to piece myself together after having been terribly broken…
LEP Underground
My heart is tight and I cannot breathe. These tears won't stop. These sobs won't silence. I am stumbling, and it takes me barely a second to place the access code to Foaly's door.
He turns around and sees me, and that's all he needs to know. I slump down onto my knees and drop the bracelet. It rolls and pivots near his feet. He takes no notice of it.
"Holly…"
I cannot stop sobbing. Everything's out of hand. I cannot control myself. I cannot control Artemis. I cannot rewind past events, just like I could not stop my Commander's order. My heart is in pain but I cannot heal it.
No one can heal a broken fairy.
"Artemis…" I murmured softly.
No one can heal a broken fairy.