Ch.34

Allie looked at Chloe and Jerry reading the expressions on their faces which were saying 'yes, say yes'. She looked back down at Shayne who was looking at her with such a happy, hopeful look which after about 30 seconds after popping the question, turned into a worried curious one.

And because of the love she had for Shayne she said..………. "I'm sorry but No" ……

Shayne was taken aback he felt a sudden stab to the heart, his expression suddenly turned into one of pain, shock, and confusion.

Chloe and Jerry were more shocked now than they were when they first saw Shayne propose.

He let go of Allison's hand and stood up. Allie's eyes began to water up as she saw that Shayne's eyes were red and filling up with tears as well.

~ Shayne thought. *what?* she doesn't want to marry me?* doesn't she love me?* haven't I shown or proved that she's the one I love and the one I want to spend the rest of my life with?* is there something she's not telling me?* is it over?* god, this hurts*~

"What did you say?" Shayne asked trying make sure he heard correctly.

"I said 'No'." Allie said with tears coming down her cheeks. "Shayne, I can't marry you and I can't go to Prague with you either. I'm so sorry I said I would go, but I'm not." It hurt Allie more than anything to have to say all of this to him but she had her reasons.

"Allie what is this? What are you talking about? Don't you love me?" Shayne asked with a tear coming down his cheek.

This was the hardest thing she ever had to do in her life! Her heart actually hurt as she felt terribly awful to have to say this and do this to Shayne but because she loved him so much, she forced herself to look at him straight in the face (to make it believable) and continue her 'lies'.

"Shayne, when you called the other night I meant what I said, I told you not to call me or look for me. You did it anyway and now this is where we are. You made this harder Shayne. Why couldn't you just leave things the way they were?"…

Shayne was so confused he didn't know what the hell was going on. * How could she say this to me?* After what we both said to each other before I proposed* this is hurting too much* what is this?* Shayne thought.

"Allie, please baby I'm sorry if I scared you by proposing, its ok if you don't want to right now we'll just be together ok.. …. I love you, don't do this to me.. I'm sorry .. I.. I…. I take it back" Shayne pleaded not knowing what to say anymore his eyes filling up with tears again.

Allie couldn't take this anymore. This was too much. Now she felt stabs in her heart for making Shayne go through this

"Shayne, I'm sorry for misleading you back there, I shouldn't of let it get to me. I cant go to Prague with you, I cant take a year off…… Shayne we cant be together anymore… I'm sorry for hurting you Shayne please forget about me and enjoy your life and career." Allie was truly sobbing now because she could see the pain and confusion in Shayne's eyes... and though in a quiet to himself  "manly" way, Shayne was sobbing also.

"Allison, what are you talking about? Don't do this to me. HOW can you say this?"

Jerry and Chloe were standing a few feet away. Before Allie walked off she leaned in and whispered into Shayne's ear. "Please don't hate me, know that I'm doing this because I love you". With that Allie rushed off the gazebo and left with Chloe.

Jerry walked up onto the gazebo…

"Dude! What the fuck just happened??!?!" Jerry asked stunned.

Shayne didn't know what to think, with red, water-filled eyes he looked at Jerry and said… "It's over."

Jerry was now confused as well, he didn't know what to think. He just hugged his friend and built up watery eyes as well to see and hear Shayne the way he was.

*** Allie was in the car on her way home with Chloe sobbing uncontrollably.. She told Chloe not to ask any questions, she would tell her about it later. Right now she just had to control herself. Allie did have a reason for doing what she did. She never knew it would hurt this much. All she could picture is Shayne's eyes and look. So much pain, so much hurt, mystification, shock.

She thought she was doing the right thing because she loved him so much but somewhere in the back of her mind began to think it might've been the biggest mistake ever.***