Gone Avengin', Special Edition!

Author's Note: This chapter marks the first Evo appearance of a character that was inspired by a Fleetwood Mac song.

Original Review Responses:

To RogueFanKC: I would do a Stormwreck fic, but Storm would hurt me, and I don't like being hurt. She'd hurt me very, very badly. 'Nuff said.

Disclaimer: "I see white people." - Shawn Wayans, Scary Movie 2

Chapter 4: Some Insanity and Some Villains Gather!

The Xavier Institute

"Are you sure this'll work?" Ray groaned. Scott and the other X-Boys had rigged an odd device on a wall on the outside of the X-Mansion.

"Yes, this plan will work!" Scott snapped at Ray. He held up a remote with one big red button on it. "We press the button, the device opens, and the spring inside releases the metal boxing glove, knocking that woman-stealing Starchild into next week!" Scott cackled.

"Man, his head will fly off his turkey neck." Peter smirked.

"Gambit gonna enjoy dis." Remy grinned evilly.

"Shhh!! Hide!!!" Scott, Remy, Ray, and Peter jumped in a nearby bush. Paul had walked by, alongside John and Jennifer. They stopped at the device, too busy talking to notice it.

"Man Jenny, it's been a long time since the three of us were together. Does your dad still hate us?" Paul asked. Jen giggled.

"Let's just say that when you two disappeared, Daddy threw a celebration." Jennifer started laughing. "He still has the pictures of you two on his dartboard."

"Oh, God!" John cackled. "He's still mad about the time I set his car on fire?"

"And his favorite chair, and his radio, and the TV, and his favorite couch, and his motorcycle, and his badge collection, his pants while he was still wearing them, so yeah." Jen shrugged. "He still is miffed at you too, Paul. Remember that incident with the coconut cream pies?"

"Hey, it was an accident!" Paul put his hands up defensively. "I had no idea those pies had bombs in them. We did stop them from hurting anyone."

"Yeah, but we got coconut cream all over us, and the sheriff's ball!" John remembered. "Sheriff Walters nearly put us in the torture rack!" In the bush, the X-Boys shifted.

"Move over!" Gambit snapped. "Gambit can't breathe!"

"I got a great view, and I'm not giving it up!" Ray drooled as he watched Jennifer. He got knocked into Scott.

"Hey! Oops." Scott accidentally pressed the button. With a BANG, the glove launched, but it smacked the She-Hulk in the nose! "Uh-oh."

"OWWW!!!" Jennifer held her nose. Luckily, it took more than a steel boxing glove to damage it. "Who threw that?" She growled angrily.

"Nice job, idiot!" Ray hissed at Scott.

"You knocked into me!" Scott snapped. The X-Boys started arguing, until they saw an angry Jennifer standing over them. "Uh, heh heh. Hi Jenny."

"Nice She-Hulk…Niiiice She-Hulk…" Peter squeaked.

"PLEASE DON'T HURT REMY!!!" Gambit begged on his knees. "REMY GET HURT ENOUGH BY CHERE!!!!"

"YOU FOUR ARE DEAD!!!" Jen hollered, grabbing Scott. Soon after, bones started being broken.

"HEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWCH!!!!!!!" The X-Boys screamed in pain. John and Paul just shrugged their shoulders, until they saw Sam streak by, strangling Roberto.

"She's MINE!!" Cannonball snapped at Sunspot. Starchild and Pyro sighed.

"And everyone thinks I'm nuts." John shook his head. "I'm gonna go set fire to Iron Man's armor."

An unknown location

"Aw man, why are we here?" A large mutant growled in a voice that was deep and menacing. The man was around nineteen or twenty years old, and his muscular body was around 6'11". He wore a black sleeveless t-shirt and brown wrestling-style tights with white boots. He looked rather unusual, considering his body was covered in brown fur. His head was that of a wooly mammoth, with trunk, a mane of long black hair, and two white, large, fearsome-looking tusks. He and several others had gathered in what appeared to be nearly total darkness. "Aw man, I have better things to do here, like polish my beautiful tusks!"

"I'd better not miss any of my freakin' soap operas!" Another voice growled. The source was an ugly, Quasimodo-like woman with green skin, two-fingered toes, long blond hair and wearing a pink costume. The mammoth-like mutant recoiled at the sight of the woman.

"God, you ugly!" He said in a horrified manner. The woman glared at him.

"Shut up, Torrence!" She snapped. "You aren't much prettier yourself, Elephant Man!" The mammoth-like mutant growled in anger.

"Watch your mouth, Abominatrix!" He snapped at the ugly green woman. "Or I will show you why they call me Tusk!" Some of the sparse light reflected off his tusks, as if the light was confirming what he said.

"Tusk, save it for Kid Razor! Abominatrix, save your rage for the She-Hulk!" Another voice snapped. The two reluctantly backed off each other, fuming at the names of their mortal enemies. Tusk, real name Arnold Torrence, was a mutant who looked like a mammoth all his life. Later, he developed superhuman strength, and discovered his skin and bones were more dense than normal, making him very durable. A native of Cleveland, he and Kid Razor have duked it out several times. A huge egomaniac with a hot temper and a tendency to get frustrated easily, Tusk had Razor heavily overmatched in raw power and strength. However, Razor has often defeated Tusk by using his speed, agility, and exploiting his character flaws. The Abominatrix was created as a product of a medical experiment. Real name unknown, she didn't take too kindly to any superhero, particularly the She-Hulk. An assassin-for-hire, she'll gladly kill anyone, just as long as she doesn't miss her soap operas.

"I just want to go home and watch my soap operas." Abominatrix growled. Tusk shook his head.

"You are as stupid as you are ugly. Get TiVo for God's sake!!" Tusk snapped. "You'll be able to record them. Just set time and channel, put a blank tape in the VCR, and you're set!! Even someone as dumb as you can operate one of them."

"This coming from someone whose mother lives in the Elephant House in the local zoo." Abominatrix quipped. "I can't afford one."

"How much do you make a hit?" Tusk asked in dumbfounded astonishment. Surely an assassin can afford TiVo, even one as hideous-looking as her. She told him her price and he laughed. "Oh God, you can afford it. Oh wait, you spend your money all on candy!"

"I like candy, okay?!" Abominatrix snapped back. "Not my fault you hate candy!"

"I'm allergic to chocolate!! Besides, sugar and caffeine make mutants go crazy!" Tusk growled.

"I'm not a mutant!"

"I was talking about me, you ugly hag!" Tusk yelled.

"Will you both shut up?!" Sabertooth made an appearance. He looked at Tusk. "I've heard of you. Pathetic. You keep getting your butt kicked around town by a loudmouth kid with a guitar." Tusk growled at that remark. He looked at the Abominatrix. "God, you ugly."

"Shut up, fleabag!" Tusk snapped.

"Hey!!" Abominatrix snapped.

"Oh come on!" The Juggernaut groaned as he walked in. "What's going on here? Why am I here? I wasn't busted out of Stokes just to wait around."

"You think we're enjoying this stuff, helmet boy?" Tusk growled.

"Do you have any idea who you're messing with?" Juggernaut growled at the mammoth-like mutant. "I'm the unstoppable, invincible Juggernaut!"

"Yeah, you're also a moron with a name that's smarter than you are." Tusk quipped.

"Watch it!" Juggernaut warned. He looked at the Abominatrix and he felt sick. "God, you ugly."

"HEY!!!" Abominatrix snapped.

"Ugh. Americans. Always obsessing over looks." A voice with a thick Russian accent groaned. Its source was a suit of red armor. He was Iron Man's most hated foe: the Crimson Dynamo. The man underneath the suit looked at the Abominatrix. "God, you ugly."

"WILL YOU MORONS KNOCK THAT OFF?!?!" Abominatrix screamed. Tusk, Sabertooth, and Juggernaut howled with laughter.

Man, looks like trouble is a-brewin' for our three favorite teams!! Who gathered these bad guys and why? What more insanity will the X-Men, Avengers, and the Misfits face? Can the kids face what's coming? Find out in the next chapter!!