Disclaimer: Blar.

This is a little one-shot delving deep into Raven's mind on the subject of Terra. It takes place directly after Betrayal. A very anti-Terra piece, originally written several months ago right after I watched Aftershock pt. 1. Beware hostility. Hee.

Be forewarned that I'm not totally against Terra, so not all the pieces will be anti-Terra. Wee. I'm having a good day.

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I can't believe we ever trusted her. I still don't know what possessed us. Maybe it was the fact that she seemed like someone you could really be friends with for a few weeks there. Yeah, even I admit to being sucked into her bullshit for a while. But at the beginning I could see through it. I could see she couldn't be trusted. But I bought in to all her lies eventually, just like everyone else.

That little whore.

She made me believe she could be trusted, after I had sworn never to trust her. She made me go against my own better judgment, make stupid decisions, allow myself to let her in. I should have left my guard up. But after she helped resurface the tower, I really started to believe maybe I could get along with her. So I tried, and I ended up trusting her for a while, no matter how much I denied it. I denied it like hell, but it wouldn't work. Because the fact was, we all trusted her to a certain extent.

Is it always the people you trust that do these things to you? Why do people do that? And why did I allow myself to trust anyone? It almost makes me wonder if anyone can be trusted, which makes me feel horrible, because I can trust the team, can't I? They're my friends.

But so was Terra. Sort of.

So maybe the team can't even be trusted. Maybe I'm only setting myself up for another one of these experiences by trusting them so completely. Because I do trust them. All of them. Yes, even Beast Boy.

I'm being ridiculous. Of course I can trust them. I don't remember ever questioning my trust for them before. Damn you Terra, damn you. This is all your fault. Or my fault, for trusting you. I'm never going to let myself forget how unwise I was allowing that trust to happen. I've gotten so accustomed to being sure about the team. I don't think I've ever doubted them before. So why am I now? Because of one little experience. I need to calm down. I'm blowing this out of proportion.

But maybe I'm not. Every member of the Teen Titans is somewhat human. Humans make mistakes. Even the most honorable, trustworthy person you know, the person you trust more than anyone you've ever known, will inevitably betray you if put in just the right situation. It's just a matter of weakness. Once a person's weakness is discovered, anyone who knows it is in control. Slade is in control of Terra. It must have been simple. Terra has so many weaknesses, and some of them are obvious.

Control. That's what every human wants. Control over something or other. That was what Terra wanted, and look where it got her. Now she's betrayed the only friends she's ever going to have and is serving a dark master, because she wanted to control her powers so badly. Maybe, though, that wasn't all she wanted. Maybe control wasn't the only reason she decided to work for Slade behind our backs. Maybe she felt alone. Maybe she felt afraid. I don't know. I will never know. I'll never allow her that close to me again.

Sometimes I wonder if there really was something wrong with Terra. How else could she be that cold? Beast Boy liked her. It was obvious. And yet she allowed herself to lead him on, let him believe she really cared for him. And then she broke his heart. One of the things that makes me more angry than anything in the world is when someone hurts my friends. I've seen them get wounded countless times in battle, but the emotional pain that she caused Beast Boy was worse than all of the pain the rest of us have ever felt physically, even combined. I care for my friends. I feel horrible for doubting them before. But maybe it wasn't really them I doubted.

Maybe it was myself.

There's a lot to doubt. These emotions of mine are powerful, even deadly. It took so much strength to keep myself from making things blow up over what Terra did. I will never understand the way her mind works, nor do I care to. I never want to get that far inside the mind of a monster. That's what she was. A monster. A horrible, hideous demon concealed behind the smiling face of someone who we truly believed was our friend. That's the price we pay for allowing ourselves to trust others. And thanks to Terra, because of that one mistake, the five of us, the Teen Titans, the most powerful superheroes in Jump City, will keep paying that price for the rest of our lives. All because of one little mistake. A mistake named Terra.

XXX