How Does it Feel:

Chapter 6

Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, I know this.

A/N: 'Cos I was asked so nicely, this chapter is going to be a longer chapter! I swear, from now on, at least 1,300, or more.

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Work was going by way to slowly for Olivia. Not only were they stuck with paper work since they had solved their latest case but she was having trouble looking Elliot in the eye. Which wouldn't have been so bad if not for the fact that he kept trying to talk with her, or get her took look up at him for any little reason. Whenever she was forced to she did her best to look the opposite direction, on one occasion Elliot had tricked her, adverting his gaze to meet her own, which had at the time been staring intensely at the coffee pot. Her cheeks had flushed and she felt her temperature rise when his blue eyes met her own brow ones. Oh yeah, she was embarrassed.

She wasn't sure why she had felt that way, Elliot was her best friend, he knew nearly everything about her, and he had seen her venerable before. 'But never like this morning,' that annoying little voice in her back of her head screamed to her. The voice was right, he might have seen her shed a few tears on a rare occasion, but never sobbing as she had done only hours prior. It left her feeling weak, broken, and insecure, and all because of some damned nightmare. She snorted inwardly.

She watched a clock on the wall closest to her as it slowly ticked. Seconds turned to minutes but she didn't have the patience to watch as the minutes turned into hours. She'd have to find something else to occupy her time. She looked down at the unfinished paperwork on her desk and sighed, that would have to do. She went to work and tried not to pay attention to the looks she could see Elliot giving her out of the corner of her eye. Focusing on her paperwork time started to pass by quickly.

By the time the clock neared five o'clock she was dreading leaving work. If it was just the two of them, her and Elliot, who knows what he'd ask. 'What a strange turn in events,' she mused to her self, 'going from can't wait to leave work to not wanting to leave...at all.' She thought about staying late, but Elliot would only stay with her. It would just delay the inevitable.

At 5:06 she put her papers away and looked up at Elliot, "are you ready to go?"

He nodded and gathered his things together, they took off for his house a few minutes later.

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Elliot wished she would get off her high horse and say something to him, it was terribly uncomfortable with her giving him the cold shoulder. Why? He had no clue. He guessed she was embarrassed about breaking down in front of him. Why something like that would cause her to be embarrassed he hadn't a clue.

"Are you going to talk to me? Even a word?"

She grunted in response.

"Guess that's better than nothing," he said with a snort.

She turned and looked out her window without saying a word.

When they pulled into the driveway of Elliot's house a familiar (to Elliot) blue Pontiac Grand AM was already parked in the driveway, in it's normal spot.

"Who's that?" Olivia inquired, speaking to him for the first time since they left the station.

"That's Kathleen's car. I wonder what she's doing here."

"Maybe she wanted to see her father?," she offered.

"Maybe." Elliot replied getting out of the car, Olivia following suit. They made their way inside and when they entered Kathleen came running (well, walking hastily) to her father and into his arms, "daddy!" She said happily, hugging him. When she let go she noticed Olivia and gave her a confused look.

"'Livia? What are you doing here?"

"Kathleen! That's rude," her father scorned.

Olivia laughed, "no, it's not, El. It's a legit question. I'd probably ask the same," she paused sitting down on the couch, motioning for Kathleen to do the same. "You see, the other night this man, George Albertson, got out of prison. He's a little perturbed with me–"

Elliot snorted.

Olivia threw him the nastiest look she could come up with and went back to her explanation, "you see, I shot his brother when he threatened to shoot your father. He later came after me for doing so, and since he was also an accomplice before and after the fact to the crimes that his brother had committed he got sentenced to 5 years in prison. He got out this year for good behavior, and is seemingly taking off where he left off. You're father didn't think it wise that I be left alone, although I beg to differ, and I really didn't feel like him ordering another protective detail on me," she threw him another look and he frowned at her. "He thought it would be safer to come here, instead of my apartment, where Albertson has already ventured."

"That's horrible!" Kathleen exclaimed, "how can you sit there and be so calm when there's somebody out to get you?"

"Well, with work somebody's always a little pissed at me. I guess you just learn to get use to it. And, I've gone up against this guy before, he's not that smart. Or, at least, he wasn't 4 years ago. And it helps to have somebody watching my back, even though it's not absolutely needed." She shrugged, "I've got my gun, so does your father, I think makes our chances better if he ever does come after me...which, I doubt he will."

Kathleen furrowed her brow, "I'd be scared...you're not?"

"Well...I never have time to be scared. I'm always busy with something, it helps to keep yourself occupied."

"Kathleen," Elliot called from the other couch, "not that I'm not glad you've come to see me. But, why are YOU here?"

"I came to see if you were doing OK, and if you've been remembering to feed Gracie. 'Cos it seems to me that you've forgotten all about her."

"That damn cat..." he muttered, "she doesn't even belong to you."

"That doesn't mean she shouldn't be fed!"

Now Olivia was confused, "Gracie is who exactly?"

"Well, she's the neighborhood cat. A stray tabby. She's beautiful, gray and orange hair and these bright hazel eyes. Lizze named her, dad said that he didn't mind if we fed her as long as she stayed out of the house. She likes to hang around the back porch."

"Oh...how's school?"

"Good, we've only been in for a few weeks. I've got psychology–"

"Huang would be proud," Olivia said looking at Elliot, he shrugged.

"I never realized it was so much work! For the first week alone I must have gone through 20 or 30 sheets of paper! It's crazy. We had to write down 7 defining moments, which was easy enough, 5 pivotal people, which was easier, and then 10 critical choices, which was the hardest. I think mom was mad though..."

"Why?" Elliot asked.

"Because I put Olivia down as one of my pivotal people. It was you, her, Olivia, Maureen, and my best friend, Laura."

Olivia shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "I'm one of your pivotal people?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, everything you have to put up with, being a female cop, and the type of crimes you investigate. Then...there's your past, which I didn't write about, but vaguely mentioned. Coach is the only one who will read them anyway. I didn't tell mom, but you're the first person I wrote about, then daddy."

"Wow...that's...an honor."

Kathleen smiled, "thanks. Oh, hey, who's room are you in?"

"Maureen's."

She looked at her father, "would you mind if I stayed? I love mom and all, but, I'd like some away time from her and Grandma...who's suffocating me. I can get to school myself. Please, daddy?"

"Call you mother first. I don't want any more trouble."

Kathleen beamed, "thanks!" She ran off to call her mother leaving the two partners alone once again.

"So..." Elliot said, "are you mad at me?"

"For what?"

"Well...you've been...I don't know...you've not said more than two sentences to me all day. It just makes me think I did something wrong."

"No, you didn't do anything. It's–"

Kathleen came back into the livingroom looking upset, "well, looks like I'm not going to be staying tonight. Mom said no school nights. Is it alright if the twins and I come on Saturday?"

"Sure honey. You don't have to ask me, as long as your mother knows about it I'm fine."

"Daddy...what's going on between you and mom?"

"We've just grown apart sweetheart, adults do that sometimes. I'm the man she fell in love with anymore, and we both know that. It's hard to explain, do you understand?"

"I think so. Dickey and Liz are going around being hopeful, they think that this is just a bump in the road. But, it's not is it? You're not getting back together?"

"It's doubtful, sweetheart. I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. I understand. I wouldn't want you two pretending anyway, I'd rather know the truth than live some lie about a happy family. But, we're not moving are we? I mean, if you two get a divorce is one of you going to keep the house?"

"Well, I figured I'd let you mother keep the house and get an apartment in the city, that way I'm close by, but...with work I can't really be a single parent. You're mother would be there for you more."

She nodded and hugged him again, "bye, daddy. Bye, Olivia."

She smiled and said goodbye and a few minutes later headlights flashed in the window and then faded into the night.

"You wanna talk?" Olivia asked.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"I guess...but, it's not like you're not going through something, either. I wouldn't know anything about it, but, divorce can't be fun."

"I think you're situation is a little more...urgent. You gonna tell me why you've not talked to me all day?"

"Nah...I'll let you think about it," she smiled, "seriously, Elliot. I'm fine, I just needed some time to think things over. About the dream, and Albertson. But, I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"If you never have another dream like that I won't have to."

After eating and watching some TV they set off for bed, Elliot tossed and turned for a little before falling asleep. Waiting to make sure that Olivia didn't have another nightmare.

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3:26am

She had another one. She woke up, screaming bloody murder and slapping at anything and everything in her path, which turned out to be Elliot once again. It had been worse than the first, Elliot's death more graphic and painful...Olivia there forced to watch. This time, along with her waking screaming and in a cold sweat, tears were already rolling down her face when she was pulled out of the nightmare.

He held her close to him again, and she clung to him as tight as she could. She could barely breath, but, at least she knew he was alright. She cried into his shoulder as he whispered words of comfort into her hair, telling her that he was there, she was alright, it was all just a terrible dream. It calmed her down, for the time being, and her tears turned into hiccups. He still held her close, it was as if he was afraid to let go just as she was. Not that she minded...lately she only felt safe around him, no matter how cheesy that sounded.

It was nearing 4:30 when she told him she was alright, he could go back to bed, he had at least a few hours more sleep, if he needed it. He smiled halfheartedly and wished her good dreams. 'Yeah, right' she thought, 'that'll be the day'.

She wasn't sure if he ever got back to sleep, she sure hadn't, but when they met in the kitchen for breakfast she could see dark bags under his normally bright blue eyes, which were streaked with red veins. He asked her how she was doing and she told him she'd been better.

The ate breakfast and then they left for work. After they pulled off down the road a mysterious black Taurus pulled into the driveway of Elliot's house and a short, stout man got out of the car, awaiting his revenge.

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DUN DUN DUN

a/n: yeah, I know, cheesy ending. But, gotta get some action in there, right? That's what this story is about after all, Albertson's revenge. So, then. Review.