How Does it Feel?
Chapter 18
Disclaimer: See every single other chapter.
XXXX
"Do you go to the doctor today?" Olivia asked as he handed her morning cup of coffee to her.
"Yeah," he replied, sipping on his own coffee. "She tells me if I can go back to actually working or if I have to stay on desk duty for however many more months."
"When is your appointment?"
He glanced at his watch, "In around an hour."
"Do you want some company?"
He nodded, "Sure. I think Kathleen is taking the twins out to an early movie, anyway. You and I can meet them up for lunch afterwards."
"Sounds good," she said, "I'll go get ready."
An hour and a half later they sat it the doctors office, Elliot nervously awaiting what she would have to tell him.
"Well," Doctor Summers said, looking down at the file in her hands. "You've healed very nicely, much better than I expected in fact. As of now I'd say it is probably safe to say that you could return to fulltime work without any consequences, but I'm going to recommend that you put it off for at least another week, just to be certain. But, I can tell you right now that in no more than two weeks you'll be off of desk duty and back to chasing the bad guys."
He let out a sigh of relief, "What about living arrangements?"
"You're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself now, you can start looking for a new place to live right away." She glanced at Olivia and smiled, "I'm sure it's getting a little cramped in a two bedroom apartment."
Olivia nodded, "It certainly is something different. But, I'm getting use to it."
"Well," Doctor Summers said, "Whatever you choose to do now you are able to do it." She looked back at Elliot, "You're free to go, Mr. Stabler, I won't keep you any longer."
Elliot and started to leave but stopped and backtracked, "Oh, I was wondering about something..."
"You're free to do anything, Mr. Stabler." She looked at Olivia with a smile, "No restrictions."
Olivia blushed and turned her head to hide it. Elliot thanked the doctor and the two left the office, Olivia's cheeks returning to normal, only to redden again when he slipped his arm around her waist possessively. She leaned into him as they walked, resting her head on his shoulder and pulling his arm from around her waist to take his hand in hers. Standing straight again she intertwined their fingers, looking over at him with a smile. "You just had to ask," she said with a chuckle.
He shrugged, "I was only trying to be thorough."
She rolled her eyes as they entered the elevator, pressing the button for the parking lot. Elliot stood behind her in the elevator, his arms wrapped around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Move in with me," he said out of the blue.
"What?" She asked, turning around to face him. "You don't even have a place to live, Elliot. You live with me, how could I move in with you?"
"When I get a place," he said. "I want you to move in with me."
"I don't know, Elliot..." she told him, shaking her head. "We're going to get sick of each other really soon if we're never out of each other's sight."
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. She sighed and turned to walk out of the elevator, pulling him with her. When they reached her car she leaned up against it, Elliot standing in front of her with his hands resting on her hips.
"Move in with me," he repeated, running a hand through her hair.
"Let me think about it," she said, "alright?"
He nodded and leaned in to kiss her. "Just, don't take too long," he said when he pulled back. "Now, let's eat."
XXXX
The five sat at a circular table, chatting amongst themselves. They had agreed on Outback Steakhouse, and after half an hour of waiting had finally been seated, now they were discussing their lunch choices. While the other four talked Olivia sat quietly thinking over the proposal that Elliot had made earlier. Live with him? She had no problem with taking care of him when he was healing, but to live with him full time? Was that wise so early in their relationship? They hadn't even been one an official date yet, wasn't living together a bit of a leap?
But, hadn't they been doing the exact thing for nearly four months? Would things really be different now that he could do ... anything? And, how would the sleeping arrangements work out anyway? Given that the girls shared a room, if she got her own that would be a four bedroom, whether it was an apartment or a house those weren't easy to find in the city. And, what if he did want to share a room? Would that be a wise move?
"Olivia?" Elliot asked, placing his hand over hers. "You ok?"
She looked up at him, "Huh? ...Oh, just thinking."
He continued to look at her, the kids were talking in the background. "About?"
"What you asked earlier."
"Oh? And?"
She shook her head, "I'll tell you when I figure it out."
He nodded, "No pressure."
She placed her hand over his, "I know. It's just a big, huge step. I'm not sure if we're ready for it."
"I'm sure we'd be ready for anything," he said with a playful snort. "Moving in together hasn't been a problem so far."
"Well..." she said, "there were different circumstances then."
"Point noted."
"How 'bout this," she said, "I sleep on it and give you the answer in the morning?"
"Sounds good to me." He agreed. "The earlier the better."
She smiled and nodded, "Agreed."
Elliot then went back to his previous conversation with his children and Olivia went back to her thinking. She was a little bit more certain that maybe moving in together would be a good thing, and it wasn't like it would be much of a change. Deciding that she wouldn't get any thinking done with all the noise around her, so she put it aside for the time being, and joined the conversation between Elliot and the kids.
XXXX
It was nearly midnight and she was still awake, restlessly thinking over her options. She could, A; agree to move in with him or B; ... not. In all truths, the former was a bit more appealing than the latter was, but that didn't mean it was the best choice. If they move din together (for real, instead of her taking care of him while he was healing) then would things start moving too fast? And if they did what kind of results would that bring in? Would that cause their relationship to crash and burn? Was that even possible?
But, what if they could live together and yet at the same time take things slowly. She trusted Elliot enough to know that he would if she asked him to, so what was the problem here?
She couldn't make up her damn mind, that was the problem. Both options worked, but with option A she got to be around him more, while with option B she would be able to have time alone if she needed it. And, was she ready to help take care of Kathleen, Dickey, and Elizabeth fulltime? Sure, it had been fine for these past couple of months, but that was because she knew she would eventually get her peace and quiet back. Could she really give that much need silence up?
Soft footfall took her out of her thoughts; she looked up to see Kathleen swaying awkwardly in the middle of the living room. "Kathleen?" She questioned, "What are you doing up so late?"
She smiled and sat down next to her on the couch, "It's a weekend and I've certainly gone to bed later than this. Is dad sleeping with Dickey tonight?"
Olivia nodded.
"That's different," Kathleen speculated. "Did you two have a fight or something?"
She shook her head, "He just wanted to give me some time to think some things over."
"Oh, yeah?" She asked, "Like what?" When she saw the unsure look pass through Olivia's eyes she decided not to press further, "If it's something you'd rather not talk about, that's fine, I don't have to know. Dad says that I'm too curious for my own good," she shrugged, "he's probably right."
"It's alright," Olivia reassured her. "Your father asked me to move in with you guys, whenever you got a place of your own."
"And that's a tough decision?"
"More than he realizes." Olivia said with a sigh, "There's a lot of stuff I have to consider. First of all, you guys ... I mean, I don't want to intrude on your time with your father. Then there's the simple fact that maybe I'm not ready to move in, even if it's with him. I've been so use to being alone that even the situation we're in right now is a big step for me."
"I don't know, Olivia." Kathleen said, "It sounds to me like you've already made up your mind, what else is there to think about?"
Olivia smiled, "I love your father, Kathleen ... there's the plus side to moving in. I've grown accustomed to falling asleep in his arms at night and waking up looking into his eyes. I'm not sure I want to loose that."
Kathleen didn't answer.
"I'm sorry," Olivia apologized, mentally cursing herself. "I'm making you uncomfortable, aren't I?"
She shook her head, "Not at all. I'm glad that you trust me enough to even tell me about what's bothering you ... I figured you just saw me as some stupid teenager. I'm just honored that you're trusting me with this."
Olivia laughed, "I thought you saw me as the woman who stole your father from your mother." She confessed, "The last thing I see you as is just another teenager, Kathleen. You have to believe me when I say that."
"...And I don't blame you for my father and my mother's divorce. They had problems long before you and Dad even started to work together, they just seemed to escalate year after year." She shrugged, "What happened was going to happen sooner or later, and I'm not mad at you and dad for falling in love, if anything I'm glad that he was able to move on ... and I'm glad that it was you who he chose to move on with."
Olivia smiled, "This still doesn't help with my dilemma." She leaned forward, rubbing her face with her hands to wake herself up more, and let out a frustrated grunt. "I'm never going to figure this out, and I promised your father that I would give him an answer tomorrow ... rather, this morning."
"Well," Kathleen said. "We'll do the pros and cons." She got up from the couch and went to the far left of the living room, where her book bag and purse were lying haphazardly on the ground. She unzipped it and pulled out a notebook and pen. Sitting back down she opened the notebook to a blank sheet of paper. "Alright, we'll start with not moving in ... pros."
"Silence." Olivia started, "Uh ... I don't like this method."
"Oh, come on, it's easy. How about we try cons first?"
"Alright, let's give it a shot. First con, sleeping alone again."
Kathleen nodded, writing down what she had said in the notebook. "What's the second?"
"Silence."
"It can't go both ways," Kathleen chided.
"Why the hell not? Silence can be both a good and bad thing, can it not?"
"Fine," Kathleen gave in, writing down silence under cons. "Next?"
"Eating alone." She thought for a few more minutes, "And ... not midnight girl talks."
Kathleen smiled and wrote down the third and fourth cons. "Is there any more?"
"None that matter much," Olivia replied. "Now for the pros."
"Alright, pro number 1."
"Silence."
She sighed, but wrote down silence nonetheless. "Next?"
"Complete Privacy."
She nodded, "And, what else?"
"Alone time."
"Mmk, is there anything else?"
She thought it over, "...No, not that I can think of."
"Ok, so now we do moving in ... pros first."
"Not sleeping alone."
"Two?"
"Not eating alone."
"Three."
"Late night girl talks."
Kathleen smiled as she quickly wrote down the answers. "Four?"
"Noise."
"Noise?"
Olivia nodded, "Noise."
"Alright, what else is there?"
"Easier to get to work and it would be a lot easier and cheaper to go to work in one car."
"Give me some time to write that one down," she yawned as she wrote. "Anything else?"
"Yeah ... getting to tell you to get some sleep." She smiled and gave Kathleen a hug, "I think I've got it from here ... you go and get some rest. Lord knows you need it with the hour you get up to get ready for school."
"If you're sure," she said. "Goodnight."
"G'night."
Adding one last touch to the notebook she shut it and set it on the couch, then walked back to the bedroom with a smile. When she had gone Olivia's curiosity got the better of her and she flipped open the book to see what she had written. She smiled when she saw that under cons on the moving in page Kathleen had written in big, bold letters "none".
Setting the notebook back down she leaned back and rested her head on the top of the couch, sighing as she did so. She still had some thinking to do.
XXXX
A/N: Good Lord this took forever and a day! Anyway, I'm in the middle of working on another fic for SVU, but I think I'm going to wait until I'm finished with it to post it, since it seems to me that would be much easier than spending over a week thinking of other things to write in. Anyway, please review.
Chapter 18
Disclaimer: See every single other chapter.
XXXX
"Do you go to the doctor today?" Olivia asked as he handed her morning cup of coffee to her.
"Yeah," he replied, sipping on his own coffee. "She tells me if I can go back to actually working or if I have to stay on desk duty for however many more months."
"When is your appointment?"
He glanced at his watch, "In around an hour."
"Do you want some company?"
He nodded, "Sure. I think Kathleen is taking the twins out to an early movie, anyway. You and I can meet them up for lunch afterwards."
"Sounds good," she said, "I'll go get ready."
An hour and a half later they sat it the doctors office, Elliot nervously awaiting what she would have to tell him.
"Well," Doctor Summers said, looking down at the file in her hands. "You've healed very nicely, much better than I expected in fact. As of now I'd say it is probably safe to say that you could return to fulltime work without any consequences, but I'm going to recommend that you put it off for at least another week, just to be certain. But, I can tell you right now that in no more than two weeks you'll be off of desk duty and back to chasing the bad guys."
He let out a sigh of relief, "What about living arrangements?"
"You're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself now, you can start looking for a new place to live right away." She glanced at Olivia and smiled, "I'm sure it's getting a little cramped in a two bedroom apartment."
Olivia nodded, "It certainly is something different. But, I'm getting use to it."
"Well," Doctor Summers said, "Whatever you choose to do now you are able to do it." She looked back at Elliot, "You're free to go, Mr. Stabler, I won't keep you any longer."
Elliot and started to leave but stopped and backtracked, "Oh, I was wondering about something..."
"You're free to do anything, Mr. Stabler." She looked at Olivia with a smile, "No restrictions."
Olivia blushed and turned her head to hide it. Elliot thanked the doctor and the two left the office, Olivia's cheeks returning to normal, only to redden again when he slipped his arm around her waist possessively. She leaned into him as they walked, resting her head on his shoulder and pulling his arm from around her waist to take his hand in hers. Standing straight again she intertwined their fingers, looking over at him with a smile. "You just had to ask," she said with a chuckle.
He shrugged, "I was only trying to be thorough."
She rolled her eyes as they entered the elevator, pressing the button for the parking lot. Elliot stood behind her in the elevator, his arms wrapped around her waist, his chin resting on her shoulder. "Move in with me," he said out of the blue.
"What?" She asked, turning around to face him. "You don't even have a place to live, Elliot. You live with me, how could I move in with you?"
"When I get a place," he said. "I want you to move in with me."
"I don't know, Elliot..." she told him, shaking her head. "We're going to get sick of each other really soon if we're never out of each other's sight."
The elevator dinged and the doors opened. She sighed and turned to walk out of the elevator, pulling him with her. When they reached her car she leaned up against it, Elliot standing in front of her with his hands resting on her hips.
"Move in with me," he repeated, running a hand through her hair.
"Let me think about it," she said, "alright?"
He nodded and leaned in to kiss her. "Just, don't take too long," he said when he pulled back. "Now, let's eat."
XXXX
The five sat at a circular table, chatting amongst themselves. They had agreed on Outback Steakhouse, and after half an hour of waiting had finally been seated, now they were discussing their lunch choices. While the other four talked Olivia sat quietly thinking over the proposal that Elliot had made earlier. Live with him? She had no problem with taking care of him when he was healing, but to live with him full time? Was that wise so early in their relationship? They hadn't even been one an official date yet, wasn't living together a bit of a leap?
But, hadn't they been doing the exact thing for nearly four months? Would things really be different now that he could do ... anything? And, how would the sleeping arrangements work out anyway? Given that the girls shared a room, if she got her own that would be a four bedroom, whether it was an apartment or a house those weren't easy to find in the city. And, what if he did want to share a room? Would that be a wise move?
"Olivia?" Elliot asked, placing his hand over hers. "You ok?"
She looked up at him, "Huh? ...Oh, just thinking."
He continued to look at her, the kids were talking in the background. "About?"
"What you asked earlier."
"Oh? And?"
She shook her head, "I'll tell you when I figure it out."
He nodded, "No pressure."
She placed her hand over his, "I know. It's just a big, huge step. I'm not sure if we're ready for it."
"I'm sure we'd be ready for anything," he said with a playful snort. "Moving in together hasn't been a problem so far."
"Well..." she said, "there were different circumstances then."
"Point noted."
"How 'bout this," she said, "I sleep on it and give you the answer in the morning?"
"Sounds good to me." He agreed. "The earlier the better."
She smiled and nodded, "Agreed."
Elliot then went back to his previous conversation with his children and Olivia went back to her thinking. She was a little bit more certain that maybe moving in together would be a good thing, and it wasn't like it would be much of a change. Deciding that she wouldn't get any thinking done with all the noise around her, so she put it aside for the time being, and joined the conversation between Elliot and the kids.
XXXX
It was nearly midnight and she was still awake, restlessly thinking over her options. She could, A; agree to move in with him or B; ... not. In all truths, the former was a bit more appealing than the latter was, but that didn't mean it was the best choice. If they move din together (for real, instead of her taking care of him while he was healing) then would things start moving too fast? And if they did what kind of results would that bring in? Would that cause their relationship to crash and burn? Was that even possible?
But, what if they could live together and yet at the same time take things slowly. She trusted Elliot enough to know that he would if she asked him to, so what was the problem here?
She couldn't make up her damn mind, that was the problem. Both options worked, but with option A she got to be around him more, while with option B she would be able to have time alone if she needed it. And, was she ready to help take care of Kathleen, Dickey, and Elizabeth fulltime? Sure, it had been fine for these past couple of months, but that was because she knew she would eventually get her peace and quiet back. Could she really give that much need silence up?
Soft footfall took her out of her thoughts; she looked up to see Kathleen swaying awkwardly in the middle of the living room. "Kathleen?" She questioned, "What are you doing up so late?"
She smiled and sat down next to her on the couch, "It's a weekend and I've certainly gone to bed later than this. Is dad sleeping with Dickey tonight?"
Olivia nodded.
"That's different," Kathleen speculated. "Did you two have a fight or something?"
She shook her head, "He just wanted to give me some time to think some things over."
"Oh, yeah?" She asked, "Like what?" When she saw the unsure look pass through Olivia's eyes she decided not to press further, "If it's something you'd rather not talk about, that's fine, I don't have to know. Dad says that I'm too curious for my own good," she shrugged, "he's probably right."
"It's alright," Olivia reassured her. "Your father asked me to move in with you guys, whenever you got a place of your own."
"And that's a tough decision?"
"More than he realizes." Olivia said with a sigh, "There's a lot of stuff I have to consider. First of all, you guys ... I mean, I don't want to intrude on your time with your father. Then there's the simple fact that maybe I'm not ready to move in, even if it's with him. I've been so use to being alone that even the situation we're in right now is a big step for me."
"I don't know, Olivia." Kathleen said, "It sounds to me like you've already made up your mind, what else is there to think about?"
Olivia smiled, "I love your father, Kathleen ... there's the plus side to moving in. I've grown accustomed to falling asleep in his arms at night and waking up looking into his eyes. I'm not sure I want to loose that."
Kathleen didn't answer.
"I'm sorry," Olivia apologized, mentally cursing herself. "I'm making you uncomfortable, aren't I?"
She shook her head, "Not at all. I'm glad that you trust me enough to even tell me about what's bothering you ... I figured you just saw me as some stupid teenager. I'm just honored that you're trusting me with this."
Olivia laughed, "I thought you saw me as the woman who stole your father from your mother." She confessed, "The last thing I see you as is just another teenager, Kathleen. You have to believe me when I say that."
"...And I don't blame you for my father and my mother's divorce. They had problems long before you and Dad even started to work together, they just seemed to escalate year after year." She shrugged, "What happened was going to happen sooner or later, and I'm not mad at you and dad for falling in love, if anything I'm glad that he was able to move on ... and I'm glad that it was you who he chose to move on with."
Olivia smiled, "This still doesn't help with my dilemma." She leaned forward, rubbing her face with her hands to wake herself up more, and let out a frustrated grunt. "I'm never going to figure this out, and I promised your father that I would give him an answer tomorrow ... rather, this morning."
"Well," Kathleen said. "We'll do the pros and cons." She got up from the couch and went to the far left of the living room, where her book bag and purse were lying haphazardly on the ground. She unzipped it and pulled out a notebook and pen. Sitting back down she opened the notebook to a blank sheet of paper. "Alright, we'll start with not moving in ... pros."
"Silence." Olivia started, "Uh ... I don't like this method."
"Oh, come on, it's easy. How about we try cons first?"
"Alright, let's give it a shot. First con, sleeping alone again."
Kathleen nodded, writing down what she had said in the notebook. "What's the second?"
"Silence."
"It can't go both ways," Kathleen chided.
"Why the hell not? Silence can be both a good and bad thing, can it not?"
"Fine," Kathleen gave in, writing down silence under cons. "Next?"
"Eating alone." She thought for a few more minutes, "And ... not midnight girl talks."
Kathleen smiled and wrote down the third and fourth cons. "Is there any more?"
"None that matter much," Olivia replied. "Now for the pros."
"Alright, pro number 1."
"Silence."
She sighed, but wrote down silence nonetheless. "Next?"
"Complete Privacy."
She nodded, "And, what else?"
"Alone time."
"Mmk, is there anything else?"
She thought it over, "...No, not that I can think of."
"Ok, so now we do moving in ... pros first."
"Not sleeping alone."
"Two?"
"Not eating alone."
"Three."
"Late night girl talks."
Kathleen smiled as she quickly wrote down the answers. "Four?"
"Noise."
"Noise?"
Olivia nodded, "Noise."
"Alright, what else is there?"
"Easier to get to work and it would be a lot easier and cheaper to go to work in one car."
"Give me some time to write that one down," she yawned as she wrote. "Anything else?"
"Yeah ... getting to tell you to get some sleep." She smiled and gave Kathleen a hug, "I think I've got it from here ... you go and get some rest. Lord knows you need it with the hour you get up to get ready for school."
"If you're sure," she said. "Goodnight."
"G'night."
Adding one last touch to the notebook she shut it and set it on the couch, then walked back to the bedroom with a smile. When she had gone Olivia's curiosity got the better of her and she flipped open the book to see what she had written. She smiled when she saw that under cons on the moving in page Kathleen had written in big, bold letters "none".
Setting the notebook back down she leaned back and rested her head on the top of the couch, sighing as she did so. She still had some thinking to do.
XXXX
A/N: Good Lord this took forever and a day! Anyway, I'm in the middle of working on another fic for SVU, but I think I'm going to wait until I'm finished with it to post it, since it seems to me that would be much easier than spending over a week thinking of other things to write in. Anyway, please review.